The Jungle of L-21-834

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Bladed_Crescent
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Post by Bladed_Crescent »

See? That's why you're awesome
Sure, you say that now. But I'll have you flinching every time you see my replies soon enough. :lol:
I shouldn't use them? Why?
They're unnessecary. There's no difference between:

"Get to the ships, get to the ships" - shouted Drake, looking towards Herbert - "Where the hell have you been?"

and:

"Get to the ships, get to the ships," shouted Drake, looking towards Herbert. "Where the hell have you been?"

except the first paragraph has hyphens where it doesn't need them.
I think I get the idea. I'll incorporate this.
I had an English teacher in 10th grade - she put up lists of forbidden common words (scary, said, walked, did, etc) and if she caught us using them in our essays or fiction, she'd beat us with a hammer. Or mark us down a letter grade; whichever.
But...but...but they're sections, not squads! I can't call a section a squad!
Unit, team, comrades, fellows, element.... :)

Sometimes you always refer to 'section' 2-3 times in a single paragraph, which is why I noticed it.

"The fleet was anchored at Theta Station and admiral Duchovsky was grateful for the fleet's presence. The fleet would play an important role in the upcoming war with the sphere and to have the fleet marshalled and ready to go warmed the old man's heart with pride."

See how dry that paragraph's description is?

"Third Fleet was assembled around the imposing bulk of Theta Station and Admiral Duchovsky was thankful for the Union armada's arrival. The Sphere had been growing steadily more aggressive in recent weeks and if hostilities broke out, the flotilla's presence might mean the difference between victory and defeat."
Well, thank you. Improving my style is one of the main goals of this project, so it seems I am succeeding.
You're welcome, and you are at that.

I'll keep your tab running in the meantime. hehehe!
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Sugar, snips, spice and screams: What are little girls made of, made of? What are little boys made of, made of?

"...even posthuman tattooed pigmentless sexy killing machines can be vulnerable and need cuddling." - Shroom Man 777
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PeZook
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Post by PeZook »

Bladed_Crescent wrote:Sure, you say that now. But I'll have you flinching every time you see my replies soon enough. :lol:
Don't try to make me think you don't like doing this. You spent two hours drafting a detailed breakdown of my story, so I'm not gonna believe this :P
Bladed_Crescent wrote:They're unnecessary
I thought they made these sentences look more elegant. They'll stay for the moment, it's a minor issue anyway.
Bladed_Crescent wrote:I had an English teacher in 10th grade - she put up lists of forbidden common words (scary, said, walked, did, etc) and if she caught us using them in our essays or fiction, she'd beat us with a hammer. Or mark us down a letter grade; whichever.
Huh. My teachers were nowhere so strict. I learned English mostly from computer games, anyway :P
Bladed_Crescent wrote:Unit, team, comrades, fellows, element.... :)

Sometimes you always refer to 'section' 2-3 times in a single paragraph, which is why I noticed it.
Right, right. I was joking :) I got the idea. Repetitions are the biggest problem with my style, and they can't seem to go away :)
Bladed_Crescent wrote:You're welcome, and you are at that.

I'll keep your tab running in the meantime. hehehe!
Good luck trying to get it paid. I earn the equivalent of 600 dollars a month, so even with a court order (ha! Right...) the most you'll be getting will be a steady flow of pennies :P
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Post by PeZook »

And here's another. The firefight has some unintended consequences that are just beginning to snowball...in other words, this whole thing will soon explode into an orgy of destruction. Or not ;)

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Maneuvers, p.1

The sun was coming down over the valley. Survey teams were moving back towards the camp as fast as possible – not fifteen minutes ago, they received an emergency recall signal - besides, everybody heard the brief firefight. Most scientists were afraid now, since they didn’t know what happened – the enemy could be hiding in the trees, just waiting to ambush a group full of unarmed civilians. OSF soldiers were forced to forego pursuit and escort scientists back to the fortified base-camp.

Anatoyli would’ve been relieved to know that, but he didn’t have that kind of luxury. His team was moving east as fast as humanly possible, aided by chemical cocktails from their boost-pills. The combination of drugs made everything clear, took away the pain and tiredness which plagued everyone after an entire day of marching through the jungle. Of course, their bodies would demand all of that energy repaid later on.

Thanks to their pace, Anatoyli’s team was able to lose American drones during the brief period refuelling period when the sky was actually clear. This was a relief – by dawn, the Spetnaz commandos be far away from the enemy base and would be able to launch their own recon and combat UAVs.

The question that remained unanswered and tormented Anatoyli constantly was – how the hell were they going to the conduct observation now that the enemy knew they were here?

American C&C

“There were four or five opponents. Disciplined and well trained, but that goes without saying.” – Barret had just finished debriefing the sergeant who commanded the team involved in the firefight – “One of our boys fired first. The enemy was obviously falling back from the beginning. I think we caught them entirely by accident.”

“If they came from that beach, they must've been marching pretty damned fast” – Fields noted, looking at a map of the valley – “They probably were going towards their chosen camp site, I can’t imagine their men could be worth anything after covering forty miles of that jungle.”

Henderson nodded – “I agree. They’re gonna want to put as much distance between themselves and us. Which serves our purpose, really.”

“Yeah, if we can track them, we can just have Big Maggie blast them if they try anything.” – Fields finished Henderson’s thought – “The problem is tracking them in the first place.”

“I don’t think it’s going to be as much trouble as you think. They’ll establish a camp at the edge of the valley, maybe a bit beyond the crest. I’m assuming they will want to launch their own drones, and they need a location that is shielded from our radar to do that.” – Henderson pointed to the eastern crest – “They will establish a camp someplace here. We can launch a full wave of drones in the morning and sweep the entire area.”

“We can’t be sure they’ll do that.” – Fields was skeptical. After all, she was a combat jumper, and the way combat jumpers did things was always supposed to be unconventional and unexpected.

“Oh, I’m plenty sure. So far, they’ve been doing everything exactly as we expected. Besides, we got them on the run, they’re tired and probably can’t think all that well. We have the initiative now.”

Jungle

L-21-834 wasn’t a nice place even when the weather was good. At night, it turned into the closest place to hell any soldier could imagine.

As the sun dropped below the horizon, temperature decreased rapidly. Giant insects, resembling a half-meter caterpillar with dragonfly wings, crawled out of the woodwork to hunt their prey, and they constantly bumped into the faces of Anatoyli’s men.

As it became colder, the everpresent chemical stench eased up some. On another hand, some heavy substance, resembling a thick syrup, began dripping down off the trees. After an hour, on ground level it felt like it was raining. The sludge tasted like tar and, of course, got everywhere – in the webbing, in the weapons, under the helmets and uniforms. The undebrush was treacherous, the march extremely tiring. Barely a single day has passed since their landing, and already the Spetznaz team has had enough.

Anatoyli was thinking furiously ever since they broke off from the firefight. What would Americans do now? Were they going to search for his men to try and kill them, or retreat to the camp and fortify it from any possible attack? Or maybe try to locate them and capture them alive? No, that was impossible. All special operations troopers used in the Secret War would rather kill themselves than be captured. Every soldier in Anatoyli's team carried a hypodermic syringe, safely tucked away in a pocket,sawn into the webbing just to house the poison securely.

The way he saw it, the American commander had two options – try to kill them or not. Both ways, he’d need to know where they were, and that meant a search. He could hide civilians inside a fortified camp, and send out his soldiers to aid drones in searching the jungle. Therefore, the first priority of his team would be to lay low and hide.

He looked around. His men were making their way through an impossibly thick underbrush, and it was obvious they were tense and stressed out. The jungle was teeming with sounds of night animals coming out to hunt…and there were no drones in the air.

“Has anybody heard drones since we broke contact?” – he asked his men. No. Nobdoy heard any.

He wiped some ‘syrup’ from his face. The UAVs were only able to track them from low above the tree canopy, but this was bound to change as temperature droped further. The American commander had probably decided to use all his drones at once, rather than keep a few on station throughout the night. So they would locate his team tonight, then just keep a drone or two on them, locate their camp and either destroy it with a direct attack or monitor their movements. Anatoyli had to admit they’d probably destroy the camp – a few hours ago, Americans just proved they’d shoot on sight. With this thought, he came to a final decision and activated his battle-link.

“Wolf One to Wolf Cub, come on the link please.”

His implanted receiver flashed and he immediately knew where his scout snipers were. They have moved somewhat forward during the firefight and immediate aftermath, and were separated from the rest of the group by about half an hour or so.

“This is Wolf Cub, what is it Wolf One?” –accents were funny things when they were filtered through a computer data transfer algorithm. The Frenchman was very hard to understand over the link.

“Change of plans. We’ll move five klicks to the north and dig in there. Try to find some animal den or grotto for us. We will camouflage ourselves and sleep through the night, and tomorrow we’ll establish a camp inside the valley, rather than on the crest.”

“Acknowledged Wolf One, change of plans. Wolf Cub out.” - with that, the link went silent. Anatoyli looked at the rest of his men. The boost-pills would stop working shortly, but they still had about an hour or two. He pointed towards the north and gave a hand signal to move out.

This damn mission was becoming more and more complicated by the minute. For the first time since the insertion, Anatoyli was tempted to call for extraction, forge the records and get a soft bed in return.
Last edited by PeZook on 2007-07-16 08:52am, edited 1 time in total.
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Post by PeZook »

Here we go, another chapter! There's a tiny reference to another story here. Cookie to anybody who spots it!

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------

The Maneuvers, p.2

The animal den idea was pretty damned bad, Anatoyli thought, looking at the giant hole. Whatever lived in there was dead or long gone, but the inside of the hole was filled with noxious fumes coming from various suspicious substances filling the bottom of the den. Sleeping there was probably a good way to asphyxiate.

The area around this den was suitable for a campsite, though. The vegetation was a little looser, there was a little stream of running water, and it was possible to actually dig. His men have already set up perimeter alarms – simple devices, mechanical sirens activated by a piece of string. Most devices of the sort was powered, and thus – detectable. In the XXIII century nobody really expected an alarm to use something as crude as linen strings. Well, almost nobody, as was evident.

A small radar unit has been set up in the middle of the campsite, resembling an oversized light bulb on three legs. It normally was deactivated, but would start sweeping the area when alarms started wailing. It was supposed to both locate and identify attackers and guide any weapons slaved to it. The team didn’t have any autonomous sentry weapons, and while every gun could be rigged into one, no soldier wanted to part with his rifle.

Anatoyli’s soldiers were tired to the point of keeling over – they were literally falling asleep on their feet, and were able to set up the camp only because they had practiced every motion a thousand times before. Their drill instructors would have been proud. It was doubly important since after taking their boost-pills, nobody would really be able to stand watch.

This didn’t exclude Anatoyli – he crashed and passed out practically as soon as he ensured the camp was secured. Every soldier slept in his own shallow sleeping hole, under a thin insulating blanket. It served a double purpose – kept the owner warm and scrambled his IR signature. After half an hour, the nightly concerto of jungle animals was left undisturbed.

Anatoyli woke up about two hours before dawn. His sleep was uneasy from the after-effects of the boost-pill, and the loneliness of command only made it worse. He looked at the animal den and smirked. Then he just sat there, listened and thought.

For the first time, he realized how truly alien this environment was. In the dark, the red hue of all vegetation wasn’t so striking – it were the noises, the roars, the smells and temperature, the visible, slowly rising steam, every little detail that was completely off. It was terrifying and disorienting. Getting used to this place would probably take weeks.

He heard movement, sudden and close. Rather than jumping up startled, he reached down and undid his thigh holster, pulling out the pistol in one fluid movement. One instinct replaced another, drilled in carefully over countless repetitions. Fortunately, he recognized the silhouette moving about in the dark.

“Gorya?” – he whispered. The silhouette moved closer in response and sat down with a heavy rustle of leaves giving way.

“Da.” – Gorya stared out into the darkness – “Looks like I wasn’t the only one who couldn’t sleep.”

Anatoyli yawned – “It’s the boost-pill. You’d think that after getting tired beyond your limits you’d sleep hard, but it’s not true.”

“Boost-pill, da. Sure.” – Gorya nodded, but his agreement wasn’t very honest.

They sat there for a while, in silence, surrounded by rustling bush and chirping from between the leaves. Anatoyli felt a chill run up his spine. In this place, chirping didn’t come from birds, but small, fluffy and poisonous predators.

“It’s bad, captain, isn’t it?” – Gorya sounded worried. For a man of his size, who grew up in the Siberian bog, ‘worried’ didn’t often enter his tone.

“Don’t act like you don’t know.” – obviously, everybody in the team understood their situation. It wasn’t very difficult to figure it out, after all.

“What are we going to do next?”

“I have no idea.” – Anatoyli admitted, against his better judgment – “We can’t really observe the camp when Americans are running around the valley trying to kill us all. To be honest, we’ll probably have to abort the mission.”

They both knew what that meant. Preparing this operation was difficult and costly – for them to return without any kind of intel would probably mean demotion and lifetime relegation to a patrol cutter sweeping empty space. Or worse. The Spetznaz didn’t take well to failure.

“That encounter - it was purely bad luck. This entire action is all bad luck.” – Gorya sighed heavily

Anatoyli sighed - so, that was why Gorya couldn’t sleep. Though, to be honest, it’s hardly surprising that losing a brother to a stroke of chance made a man agitated.

“It’s a shame about Aleksander.” – Anatoyli said finally

“Real shame. Especially since it’s pretty damned obvious nobody is going to be colonizing this stinking dirtball. What’s the point of continuing this?”

Anatoyli looked at Gorya. He had the same doubts himself, but knew better than to express them. It was bad for morale.

“The point is to carry out our orders and get out of here alive. It always is – and you know that.”

“You just said we were going to abort the mission.”

“I said it’s probable we’ll have to do it, it’s nothing certain” – Anatoyli regretted saying that now – “And you will save your moaning for when we get out of here, and until then you will carry out your duties properly and swiftly. Understood?”

“Da, kapitan. Understood.”

Then Gorya got up and got back to his sleeping hole. Anatoyli closed his eyes and sighed again. Loneliness of command. His men could be brothers, but he was and was not one of them at the same time.

American base camp

Foucauld was working late, trying to repair the shot-down drone. It suffered some mechanical damage during the crash, but the worst part was inside.

Its electronics were completely fried. The advanced AI module located in the frontal bulge of the fuselage was wiped, and a lot of circuits were melted and fused. Repairing the drone was more like building a new one out of spare parts.

In the early morning, lieutenant Fields entered the small prefab building. Foucauld raised his head from the workbench and waved to her. She closed the door and pulled down her breathing mask.

“Hey. What’s up?” – he asked, putting down a circuit board

“I have a small request for you.”

“Yeah?” – there was something in her tone of voice that made Foucauld wary. He was sure he wouldn’t like it.

“Listen, I’ll be straightforward with you, Tom. I don’t think hunting these guys is a good idea.”

“Where are you going with this?”

“Towards the fact that we’ve escalated the situation. Listen, whoever these guys are, they broke contact as soon as we engaged them, which means that they aren’t here to fight. But right now, they’ve disappeared, and when they meet one of our boys they will shoot on sight.”

“Yeah, and? How the hell can you know what they came here for?” – Yeah, Foucauld thought, I don’t like it.

“They had to land from a spaceship. You do realize that if they wanted to wipe us out, we’d be dead already, and this valley would’ve been a giant radioactive crater, right? They inserted that team because they wanted to see if we try to colonize this dirtball. By now, they probably know that there’s no way we’ll try that.”

“Trudy, I’d appreciate it if you cut to the point.”

“I want a few drones to continuously transmit a short message when they're making their rounds tomorrow.”

“What?! You want to just...talk to them?” – Foucauld was already thinking Fields went insane. Maybe it was the goddamned smell.

“Yes. I want to defuse this whole thing before they kill some of our boys. I they receive this message, they will establish their little observation post, they will get bored to tears watching us collect floral samples and then both our crews will leave this godforsaken hellhole and go our separate ways.”

“Trudy, this is a serious breach of operational security. We’re not fucking supposed to ask our enemy to leave us alone!”

“I don’t think there’s actually a regulation preventing that.” - her smirk was getting on Foucauld's nerves.

“You came to me because you knew the captain wouldn’t allow that.”

“Yes, exactly. Will you do it?”

“No, Trudy, I won’t”

“You will, or Henderson finds out why you really missed that morning briefing two weeks ago.”

Foucauld turned pale. With anger, not fear.

“You fucking cu-“ – Fields cut him off

“Set it up. And shut up before you get court-martialled.”

She handed the data chip to him and left. Foucauld followed her with his eyes, still full of rage. He didn’t every think he’d be so angry at her, but she just proved him wrong. The cunt.

He finally managed to calm down and looked at the data chip in his hand. He was smart enough to know he didn’t have a choice in this matter.

He got back to work. He had little time - in two hours, all drones would have to be in the air.
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Post by PeZook »

The Assault, p.1

The Spetznaz woke up slowly, groggy due to the effects of their boost-pills. Anatoyli realized with dread that if Americans decided to attack them now, his unit would be completely incapable of fighting effectively.

Fortunately, after the morning meal of dried rations and a healthy dose of water, their bodies regained all lost strength. Precious time was ticking away, though, and Anatoyli assembled his men right after he made sure they were all more or less ready. The entire team clustered around their commander, squatting on the ground, ever cautious. They did their best to look relaxed and comfortable, but in reality they were like springs under heavy load, ready to burst into action at a moment’s notice. Looks of anticipation met Anatoyli’s eyes from everyone. Only Gorya wasn't participating, monitoring the perimeter instead.

“I’m glad everyone had a good night’s sleep” – his sarcastic comment managed to evoke smiles on the tired, dirty faces.

“I have good news for you, and bad news. The good news is that we are no longer looking at spending weeks in this godforsaken place. But as you probably know by now, this will come with a rather heavy price.” - Grins changed to concentration. They were waiting to hear the price they’d have to pay to get out of here, and it was obvious they were ready to accept quite a steep bill.

“Americans engaged us without hesitation. So, the way I see it, our rules of engagement have changed.” – He could see it in their faces. They knew where he was going, and they liked it. He smiled. These men were natural predators, after all.

“We will still gather the intel, but to hell with observation. We'll attack the American camp and get the information straight from the lion’s mouth. They’re bound to have survey reports there, and maybe we can even get away with a talkative scientist. If they want to fight, then they will get a fight.”

Anatoyli looked at everyone. They were nodding to themselves, and two men were grinning openly. The Frenchman was stroking his rifle, quiet as always, while one of the corporals smirked to himself. Yes. They liked this idea.

“We have satellite photographs of the camp. We’ll plan the attack here, set it up by evening and strike during the night. Those Yankees seem awfully sure of themselves – let’s show them who’s the wolf and who’s the kitten in this game.”

American C&C

“The first wave is on station, sir” – Barret was quite nervous, but nobody seemed to notice. The idea that every single drone they had would be used for combing an arbitrary piece of jungle wasn’t exactly comforting – this caused them to lose practically all coverage of the close perimeter.

Henderson and Fields were near the central holographic display, looking at maps of the area, where the battlespace was projected. They didn’t actually need the table – all information was shared in real-time, so both of them had a very good idea of the available information. It always helped to have a visual aid, though. Their discussion was multi-dimensional, incorporating both speech and data transfer through their links.

“I have a strange feeling about this, sir. We shouldn’t depend that much on the enemy doing what we want.”

“Your concern is valid, but I think that we can reasonably expect them to establish there, when considering all variables.”

Henderson wasn’t usually this stubborn, Field thought. He was a veteran of the Secret War, though, and he usually made good guesses with things like these.

“They may have decided to change their approach because of that firefight, sir.”

“No. They won’t risk inflaming this further. They know, too, that this rock is not worth going to war over.”

Fields was running out of patience. Henderson might have known a lot about how the Secret War worked, and always considered what was at stake – but she knew the second perspective. The one held by the crazy bastards in this game, those who jumped out of starships in glorified space suits. They just weren’t that predictable, and worse – jump teams were composed of the aggressive ones, those who did not hesitate to take large risks. What Fields feared the most was they were facing a EU team – built upon traditions of British Commandoes and brutally efficient tactics of Russian paratroopers. She was almost certain their commander would do something completely unexpected in that situation.

“They might not agree that this rock is worth getting killed over, either.” – she said, weighing her words.

Henderson looked at Fields quizzically – “Do you have a suggestion to make, Lieutenant?”

“Yes, sir. We shouldn’t concentrate on the eastern crest. If they’re not there, that probably means they’re a lot closer than we think. We should divert some drones to perimeter defence.”

“We have a very tight sensor network. Tom assured me we’ll know if they approach within a mile of the camp.”

“It would be sensible to have a backup in the air, just in case.”

Henderson thought about this suggestion for a while before coming to a conclusion.

“Very well. Carl, have two scout drones and a H/K redirected to perimeter patrol.”

“Yes sir” – Barret immediately sent the proper control commands to his selected drones. At the same time, he modified the rotation schedule in order to keep them on station.

“Thank you, sir.” – Fields nodded, hoping that would be enough to detect trouble before they caught them with their pants down.

Jungle, close to the camp

It was evening now, and most of the preparations were finished.

They were moving again, but there was something different in their pace and postures. Everyone was concentrated and moved with gusto. Throughout the morning, they discussed their attack plan, set up code-words, plotted contingencies. Some final additions to the plan would have to be made later on, as they reconned the camp more thoroughly, but they had a purpose now, and one that fit their training and character.

In short, they moved through the jungle like a pack of hungry wolves, smelling blood.

Their formation was spread out, and both scout-snipers were out in front, creeping forwards slowly, watching for the sensors. For the first time, every soldier in Anatoyli’s team was thankful for the environment, which shielded them from the enemy better than any man-made technology could ever hope to.

Two kilometers away from the camp, they stopped briefly. Gorya quickly set up two autonomous, mobile mortar units with a counter-battery radar and a small point defence system - these represented all their artillery support. A few hundred meters later, the team set up two drone catapults and a loading system. The drones Spetznaz carried with them were much smaller and more fragile than ones used by the Americans, but they were better than nothing. Gorya would stay nearby, setting up the C&C network.

While that was happening, the scout-snipers hit the sensor perimeter. They started to methodically creep up to individual units – that hanged from trees, or were buried in the ground – and rig them, equally carefully, so that a corridor could be cleared. This work was arguably more dangerous than mine-clearing, as an activated sensor could bring far more firepower down upon them than a simple can filled with explosives. Klaus, the German spotter, kept watch over his colleague as he ‘fixed’ one sensor unit after another. Americans sure littered a lot of them around.

The entire team was moving slowly now, creeping after their scouts. Deliberately, they were building their own battlespace image, mapping electronic emissions from the camp and all the sensors, plotting locations of known patrol units and weapon systems.

Halfway through. The Frenchman slowly descended from another tree and picked up his bulky rifle. Then he froze, seeing his spotter give a warning hand-signal.

There were two scientists and a pair soldiers wandering about. They could be told apart easily, as scientists wore bright orange hazmat suits while they collected their samples - and the soldiers were decked out in full gear, nervous as hell. Fortunately for the Frenchman, they weren’t wearing their sensor-packs.

To add insult to injury, a drone buzzed above, flying low. He passed the area quickly, but still, that was worrisome. Was the team detected already? Were the Americans waiting for them to do something stupid?

The sniper slowly lowered himself to the ground, covered in his bulky camouflage suit. He looked like a clump of dead leaves now, and for all practical purposes was invisible to the naked eye. He raised his rifle and signaled his spotter. Then he activated the battle-link for a second.

“Wolf Cub to Wolf One, trouble ahead. Small survey team, four targets.” – he didn’t need to add anything else. The battle-link took care of the location and threat profile.

“Understood Wolf Cub. Update the link every five minutes, we’re moving to intercept.”

The Frenchman sighed and acquired one of the soldiers. His sensor quite was picking up transmissions from them – they were probably reporting their location to the C&C. He cursed under his breath, remembering the fixed sensors – what if Americans realized their own people weren’t showing up on them?

The rest of the team spread out now and approached the location. Both scientists seemed oblivious to their environment, cataloguing various plants and chasing insects around. The soldiers were not.

One of them started moving rapidly straight towards the Frenchman. The scout-sniper kept his cool, though – nothing in the enemy’s behavior indicated he realized there was somebody there. He just put down his rifle, very slowly, and opened his thigh holster.

The soldier, covered by his colleague, walked straight up to the tree and looked up, at the sensor unit dangling between the leaves. He was standing right next to the Frenchman without realizing that.

The camouflaged sniper gripped his pistol tightly. All it would take for the American to discover him would be to look a little closer at the ‘pile of dead leaves’ to discover the deception, and then every half-second would count. The Yank subvocalized something into his microphone. Then he pulled out the sensor-pack and mounted it on his helmet.

The Frenchman exhaled slowly – the enemy looked up, not down, but in a moment, he’d realize something was wrong with the sensor unit dangling between the leaves.

Sure enough, it happened. Before the American could look down, the ground below him exploded in movement.

The Frenchman shot the American soldier twice in the face with his silenced pistol – the body arched backwards and slumped heavily to the ground, held up by the foliage. His partner reacted quickly, jumping into cover almost immediately and raising his rifle – but then, a shot cracked through the air and an armor-piercing flechette blew right through the tree and the man hiding behind it.

Both scientists jumped up, startled and much to their horror, saw one of their protectors fall to the ground, surrounded by bloody mist. Just then, two more men appeared out of the red bush, as if by magic, and wrestled both civilians to the ground. They were quickly stunned with an ultrasound device, bound and drugged. Everything was over in less than five seconds.

“Misha, jam their implants and stuff the bodies somewhere. We’ll come pick them up later.” – Anatoyli commanded, wiping some of the sticky tree sap from his hands and face. He was covered in it after subduing one of the scientists – “We knew this would happen, people. Let’s get moving quickly – they’ll be on to us any second now.”

And they did all that. Without prompting, without any further orders. It was terrifying to watch how eager they were to finally engage and kill their prey – because that’s how they saw the Americans now.

As prey.
Last edited by PeZook on 2007-07-25 05:36am, edited 2 times in total.
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Bladed_Crescent
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Post by Bladed_Crescent »

Good, very good.

Both parts of "Maneuvers" is thick with past tense-present switches though; I couldn't tell which you were trying to use with any consistency.

Your action scenes are getting better and I'm loooking forward to the continuation.

Are you going to expand on the Foucauld/Fields plot thread?
They did their best to look relaxed and comfortable, but in reality they resembled springs under heavy load, ready to burst into action at a moment’s notice.
Here, you've said that they looked relaxed and in the same paragraph you say they look tense and prepared. You could swap 'resembled' with 'were like' to get the metaphor across.

Also, I am cookie-less.
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"...even posthuman tattooed pigmentless sexy killing machines can be vulnerable and need cuddling." - Shroom Man 777
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Post by PeZook »

Bladed_Crescent wrote:Good, very good.
Thank you :)
Bladed_Crescent wrote:Both parts of "Maneuvers" is thick with past tense-present switches though; I couldn't tell which you were trying to use with any consistency.
Yeah, I have trouble catching those for some reason, even when I re-read my work before posting it.

I will try to go over these chapters and clean them up a bit.
Bladed_Crescent wrote:Your action scenes are getting better and I'm loooking forward to the continuation.

Are you going to expand on the Foucauld/Fields plot thread?
Oh, most definitely. This should add to the whole "There is no 'good' side in this war, and all the soldiers are being equally screwed over" angle I'm aiming at :)
Bladed_Crescent wrote:Here, you've said that they looked relaxed and in the same paragraph you say they look tense and prepared. You could swap 'resembled' with 'were like' to get the metaphor across.
Damn! I knew there as a better way to say this, and you've just found it for me. Thank you :)
Bladed_Crescent wrote:Also, I am cookie-less.
Are you trying to say you found the little homage and I didn't give you a cookie, or that you didn't find the homage and thus are not eglible for a cookie? :)
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Post by Bladed_Crescent »

You're welcome.
Are you trying to say you found the little homage and I didn't give you a cookie, or that you didn't find the homage and thus are not eglible for a cookie?
The latter, I'm afraid.
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Post by PeZook »

Bladed_Crescent wrote:
Are you trying to say you found the little homage and I didn't give you a cookie, or that you didn't find the homage and thus are not eglible for a cookie?
The latter, I'm afraid.
That's okay. One has to be a very astute reader, especially since it's literally two words :)

I'll reveal it later.
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Post by Ford Prefect »

Well, I managed to catch up, but I didn't manage to find the reference there. The story is still looking very good.
What is Project Zohar?

Here's to a certain mostly harmless nutcase.
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Post by Phantasee »

Excellent. There were a few spelling mistakes, Nobdoy instead of Nobody, a couple other ones. The tense switches were minorly annoying.

Good plot so far, I think this should get published with a touch of editing work.

Maybe you can expand on the Secret War later?

I love reading a series. hint hint
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Post by PeZook »

Phantasee wrote:Excellent. There were a few spelling mistakes, Nobdoy instead of Nobody, a couple other ones. The tense switches were minorly annoying.
Well, I'm gradually cleaning it up, so I hope other readers won't be as annoyed. I have to thank Bladed_Crescent for relentlessly pointing out these flaws, of course.
Phantasee wrote:Good plot so far, I think this should get published with a touch of editing work.
Really? I didn't aim for publishing this, but rather to A) Improve my style B) Practice my written english and C) Flesh out the universe a little. I still think the overall arc is pretty simple, it's just a tactical confrontation, after all.

Publishment in the form of an RPG is in the planning phase and bound to change, since time is strangling me like a motherfucker ;)
Phantasee wrote:Maybe you can expand on the Secret War later?

I love reading a series. hint hint
Heh, heh...well, the topic's quite broad. I was thinking of doing another similar story for a starship, and then maybe something with a real story arc.
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Post by Phantasee »

Well, I meant publication as a short story in a magazine or something.

Reader's Digest? At least a decent Scifi magazine.
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Post by Winter »

Hello. I'm not a long-time board member, but I've been writing for quite a few years, and I figured you wouldn't mind me making a comment or two about your general writing style.

I read the first few paragraphs of your story, and then confirmed my suspicion with a quick skim through the rest of it. There's a lot of potential in your style, it's starting to tighten up, but you're falling prey to a couple of pitfalls:

1) Excessive verbiage. As a writer, adjectives are your enemy. You have to spend them like money -- sparingly if at all. Right now you're using them overly much and it's breaking up the flow of your sentences and the overall flow of the story with too many commas and breaks in the story for no other reason than to describe something in even more detail.

This isn't to say that you can't describe anything in detail, but try to vary it and smooth out the word types you're using. Break it up over more sentences -- this actually allows you to put in more detail without making it so jarring. For example, "The quick, wary, sharp-eared brown she-fox padded across the wheat field." doesn't flow like, "The quick brown she-fox padded across the wheat field. She stopped warily to sniff the air, and kept a sharp ear out for trouble. Everything seemed calm, but you never knew what was lurking in the tall grass."

2) You use passive voice a lot. Keep in mind that I haven't read the whole story thoroughly, but during my quick skim I didn't find a single paragraph without a passive sentence. Now, this isn't so bad as some writers make it out to be, but it robs your lines of a lot of power especially when you obviously want them to have that power and impact. Try to move away from passive voice wherever you can and replace them with stronger, more active words.

For example, compare: "The quick brown she-fox padded across the wheat field. She stopped warily to sniff the air, and kept a sharp ear out for trouble. Everything seemed calm, but you never knew what was lurking in the tall grass."

And: "The quick brown she-fox was padding across the wheat field. She had stopped warily to sniff the air, and was keeping a sharp ear out for trouble. Everything was calm, but you were never sure what was lurking in the tall grass."

The difference can be subtle, but the second example in this case is a far less pleasant read.

That's all I've got right now. Hope it helps!

Regards,
Winter
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Post by PeZook »

Winter wrote:<snip>
Thanks for the input. It is bound to help me, if not for this story then definitely for others I will write in the future.

It's always good to see flaws pointed out by someone more experienced in the matter. This little side project will most definitely help me improve my writing if people like you and Bladed_Crescent keep showing up with such constructive criticism.

Thanks again!
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Post by Winter »

As a final comment which I failed to touch on in my previous post:

Don't be afraid to leave some things up to the reader's imagination. You really don't need to describe everything in exacting detail, it will just slow you down and pad things out unnecessarily. Anyone who reads science-fiction or fantasy will have an imagination, so it's up to you to harness it and make it work for you. Sometimes the best parts of a story are where readers can fill in the gaps with their own descriptions, theories and explanations.

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Winter
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Post by PeZook »

So, another post is here. The assault itself is proving somewhat difficult to write, so I decided to split it up into several smaller parts. I'll post them as I go.

----------------------------------------------------

The Assault, p.2

American C&C

Increased activity and tension in the C&C was becoming normal for everyone involved. Commanding officers now spent most of their time inside the darkened room, managing the search for mysterious intruders. Tension hung in the air, and it was obvious that both their captain and his second-in-command were becoming increasingly frustrated with every passing hour.

The search has been ineffective so far. Neither the valley’s crest nor the close perimeter showed any contacts, and so Henderson permitted some limited survey operations to resume, but only close by and under escort. Ten small teams were moving about, never straying outside the sensor perimeter, so that they could be monitored closely. Drones circulated to and fro, one half coming down to refuel while the second half continued their sweeps of the valley crests. The enemy seemed to have simply disappeared.

It was almost evening when it happened. One of the survey teams suddenly disappeared from the battlespace, though their vitals and sensor feeds were still operational.

“What’s going on?” – the question was directed towards Barret. Henderson waited patiently while Barret called out the team.

“I don’t know yet, sir, but they’re okay. It’s probably a sensor malfunction.” – Barret ordered one of the two soldiers protecting the team to investigate. Fields bit a fingernail. Something wasn’t right here.

“Tell them to be careful” – she ordered Barret, which solicited a curious look from her commander.

“I have a bad feeling about this, sir.” – she explained. Off to the side, Barret was guiding the soldier towards the sensor in question.

“It looks undamaged,sir.” – he finally reported, after carefully studying the soldier’s video feed – “I’ll have them remove it and bring it back for….fuck!”

Everybody’s heads turned towards Barret. But before anybody could ask a question, the battlespace told them everything the needed to know. The vitals of Survey Theta disappeared.

“Sound a general alert! Get everybody to their stations!” - Henderson didn’t look like it, but he could react quickly to danger.

“Remaining survey teams are to converge at the fallback spot and dig in. Get the civilians into the bunker.” – his orders came out quickly over the link, distributed automatically to everyone they involved. A floor below the C&C, relaxing soldiers snapped up suddenly and grabbed their weapons. They slept in their gear for the last two days, anticipating trouble. They filed out of the barracks, moving quickly to their stations.

Defense systems were activated, and various radars and detections systems started sweeping the camp perimeter. Alarms were blaring loud now, as OSF troops moved civilians from laboratories and housing units into the main tower – sometimes forcibly tearing them apart from their lab work. It looked chaotic, but not for a moment did their commanders lose their grips on the situation.

“Turn all the drones around. I want them on the perimeter, running interdiction and air support.”

Red markers suddenly appeared in the battlespace. The enemy. They weren’t even trying to conceal themselves now, moving rapidly straight towards the camp. Everybody in the camp was fed this information at once, but it was suspicious. It would’ve been to easy if they ran straight into the automated defenses.

“Sir, I’m getting a drone launch. Two klicks away to the north-east.”

“It’s an all-out attack, sir. We should shell the launch site immediately.” – Fields’ fists were clenched. So her plan has failed, and the stupid fucks did exactly what she thought they would do – something completely unexpected. With resignation, she thought that right now, she had to make sure the attack would be repelled.

“I concur. Tom, how long ‘till our mortars are ready?” – Henderson asked Foucauld over the link

“One minute”

“Roger. Carl, get me co-ordinated of the launch site.”

“Yes sir. They are launching a second drone now, the first has gained altitu…”

Before he could finish his sentence, the C&C went dark and the battlespace has lost the aerial feed. The electronic layer no longer traced all emissions, and communications became a lot less clear.

“What the hell just happened?” – Henderson demanded

“Well, sir…I don’t know how, but they just took out our main radar array. We’ve lost control of the airspace.”

Russian control station, jungle

Everybody heard the radar’s dying scream. The huge dome let out a huge shower of sparks and smoke, accompanied by a loud crack, and then an electronic whine. It sounded eerily similar to a mortally wounded animal.

Gorya smiled to himself. He was sitting under a thick bush, with his various electronics arrayed around him. He now had two drones in the air – one of which was a heavy, ponderous EW unit that just fired an electro-magnetic pulse into the radar. He moved that one to high altitude, where it would be safe from enemy eyes. He activated his catapults, launching another pair. All in all, the Spetznaz team brought seven drones into the fight, and Gorya was now grateful they lugged them all the way to here.

The EW drone was gaining altitude, and started feeding information to the team. They had a real-time bird’s eye view of the entire camp now, and could trace all the activity in the courtyard. Gorya enjoyed this – this feeling of omniscience, of knowing what the enemy did while they had no idea of their next step. Which was right about the corner.

“Are you in position?” – he asked his teammates, who should be able to see the main tower along with it’s impressive array of various defensive weaponry.

“Yes, we see the tower. We’ve set up the mounts, slaving them to you.”

Combat on the modern battlefield was played out a lot like a computer game. Both sides had various weapons and counter-weapons, all extremely sophisticated and computer-controlled. Attack and defence occurred on several layers. Even the simplest of engagements had three – information and awareness, long-range exchange and finally a direct firefight. Attacks were performed between the three – just like in a simple game. Rock-paper-scissors was a good enough comparison, though with dozens of variables. In other words, the rock did not always beat the scissors in this one.

Gorya was about to initiate the first attack now. It was important for the Spetznaz to stay inside the enemy’s decision cycle until the American advantage in air support and fixed defenses could be neutralized, so there was no time to spare. His mates have already set up a pair of remotely operated RPG launchers, and deployed a bunch of small, specialized decoy drones that started moving in front of them.

Gorya pressed the button and gave a lighting-quick mental command. His mortar units swiveled, acquired their targets and fired off three rounds each. The shells scream up into the air, and without their main radar array, Americans would not be able to intercept them at the outer perimeter. Six more rounds blasted off two seconds later, one after another. Like a skilled orchestra conductor, Gorya co-ordinated their impacts with RPG launches, and sacrificed a part of his awareness to guide his airborne drones towards American air assets. The symphony of violence has begun in earnest.

Jungle, near the camp

“They’re off!” – Misha shouted, releasing the small, quadripedal drones into the woods. The devices, affectionately called ‘Pups’, had only one role – to die, ripped apart by automated defense systems. By doing that, they would screen their masters and confuse the enemy.

“Our snipers are in position now. Pop the smoke.” – Anatoyli seemed cold and detached now, analyzing every move. He had to – Americans had an advantage in firepower, and only by eliminating it could the Spetznaz hope to actually achieve their objectives.

His men fired smoke grenades from their launchers, using the EW drone’s transmissions to aim. Eight grenades landed on target, half on the far side of the stream and half on their side. They started spewing smoke, that would further ruin the American’s image of their battlespace.

Then the mortar shells came screaming down and the entire area filled up with noise.

Point defense systems reacted swiftly, aimed by their own backup radars. The tower fired lasers and kinetic projectiles to intercept incoming shells, and American mortars launched their own counter-artillery barrage. Everyone could see tracers stream out into the evening sky, and the explosions that followed. Russian shells were complicated devices, though, and released their own decoys and chaff. At the same time, Gorya remotely fired both RPG launchers, further adding to the confusion. The sky was full now – full of chaff, bullets, shotgun-like pellets, shrapnel and tracer rounds.

Both RPGs fired six rounds in total, one after another. Four were intercepted by American point defenses, and created a cloud of chaff for the rest of them. One failed to detonate, but the other worked just fine, blasting fine carbon strands over its target – radar antennae and targeting sensors mounted on the tower. Most of the delicate devices short-circuited within seconds and ceased to function, creating an opening in the defense envelope. With the sudden decrease in volume of defensive fire, three mortar shells slipped through and impacted in the courtyard – precision-guided, they hit their targets dead-on. Explosions shook the area as the machine shop, one of the laboratories and the living quarters were hit with incendiary loads. Collumns of flame illuminated the courtyard and the surrounding jungle, and for the first time, human screams filled the air, as scientists and soldiers alike were burned alive.

The Spetznaz moved out of the forest fast, fording the stream under cover of thick smoke. So far, the attack was proceeding well, but Anatoyli couldn’t help but wonder – when would come the point when the enemy started countering them? It had to come – the only question was when.
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Post by PeZook »

The Assault, p.3

Russian control station

Gorya flinched a bit when American mortar shells slammed into the ground. He was far enough away from his mortars, but the American barrage hit the drone emplacements with incredible force. Explosions shook the earth and annihilated entire trees, turning them into clouds of yellow mist and deadly splinters. As he hunkered down in his hole, Gorya noticed that miraculously enough, one of his two mortars survived with little damage. Good, he thought, it will come in handy later.

Right now, however, more important things awaited him. Gorya turned his attention to the aerial drones, that were now nearing their targets. The way this air skirmish would go would be critical for the success of the entire operation. Americans had a clear numerical superiority, but their entire aerial C&C network was brought down. Before they’d be able to re-establish it, their drones had to depend on their onboard intelligence.

Gorya took a deep breath, wiped his forehead and switched into his drones.

Immediately, his consciousness took a different shape. He was in six places at once now, and perceived the world much differently. It was a mosaic of colors, a situational display that was a result of a dozen different sensors feeding his brain. Bright green marked the jungle below, belching heat into the atmosphere. Pastel yellows and electric blues marked electronic emissions of various kinds, and crimson red targeting aids completed the entire image. Gorya took a while to adapt to this state of mind. He had five drones under his control, kitted out especially for air-to-air work - the perfect counter to American air superiority. The sixth drone was the EW unit that would stay out of the actual fighting.

There – he thought to himself, as sensors picked up radar emissions. American drones were heading back to base, guiding themselves with terrain-imaging radar. Their computer AIs knew something was wrong. Their C&C network was destroyed, and half of the group were low on fuel from the day’s patrol – so they took precautions. The entire group assembled themselves in a defensive formation, fully fuelled drones protecting their ailing counterparts.

The group was severely lacking in air-search radars, which was just perfect.

Gorya positioned his hunter-killers above the enemy formation and began the attack with a simple mental command. His delicate, but swift Kobra drones plunged towards American machines, and opened fire with their machine guns as they closed. Heartless machines calculated lead and deflection, providing nearly perfect accuracy. Three American hunter-killers were shredded immediately, tumbling down to the ground. One ignited and exploded in a brilliant fireball.

The group scattered with the first shots, however. Hunter-killers started climbing almost immediately, while smaller observer drones fed them targeting information. As the Russian machines passed through the American formation and started setting up for another run, US hunter-killers acquired their targets and screamed towards their now-vulnerable enemy.

Gorya cursed. He didn’t expect American AI to be that good at tactical coordination. He realized that taking direct control of all five drones was a mistake – computers reacted and took decisions much quicker, despite their tactical inflexibility.

The trailing Kobra was hit twice, which forced it to abort the turn, with its tail assembly damaged enough to kill its maneuverability. American drones swarmed all over it, ripping the fragile machine to pieces with their machine guns.

By doing that, they aborted the pursuit after the remaining four. Gorya turned his drones around, and again attacked the American hunter-killers from a favorable position. He managed to down two more before the fight deteriorated into a series of duels between machinegun-armed killer robots.

They fought low, right above the treeline. Flechettes from their weapons frequently smashed through the thick leaves and into the ground and foliage. Various animals were fleeing now, away from the struggle, trying to find a safe place amongst ricochets and bullet fragments. From time to time, damaged drones fell to the ground, smashing into tree trunks and spilling burning fuel around them. Surprisingly enough, the trees proved quite flammable.

Gorya was suffering casualties now. While American hunter-killers were not equipped for air-to-air combat, their onboard computers had the programming for it and could compensate for faults in their designs. They were also heavier and could take more damage.

After barely ten minutes, only two Kobras were left, with three hunter-killers still in the game. All drones were locked in a vicious dogfight, skimming the treeline. Lighter Kobras could literally run circles around their heavier American counterparts – enemy computers compensated for that marvelously, though, pushing their aircraft to the limit, and using smart tactics. Two drones tied up the Kobras in a dogfight, while the third tried to plant itself on the tail of an already engaged machine and rip it to shreds. Gorya managed to avoid that maneuver twice already, but he couldn’t keep it up much longer. His drones were already running out of ammunition and fuel.

So he decided to change tactics. He assigned one target to both Kobras and turned them around, separating them from the dogfight. The drones pulled up, performed a loop and locked onto the third H/K, the one that was attempting to kill them. They calculated the lead and opened fire.

American drones did not expect that, and so another H/K went out of control, careening madly towards the ground. But it didn’t take long from the remaining two to adjust – they ganged up upon one Kobra, shooting it down easily before it could gather up speed again. In a desperate maneuver, Gorya sharply turned his remaining Kobra and hit the side of an H/K. Both machines were damaged beyond repair by the collision, and hit the tree canopy soon thereafter. Gorya sighed and disconnected himself briefly from the battlespace. He had to move now. He gathered his equipment and left his safe hole, moving towards an alternative control position. Americans could’ve located the source of the control transmissions, so it was a necessary precaution.

American camp

The courtyard was awash with flame. Screaming people were laying everywhere, as both incendiary rounds had exploded just as soldiers were moving civilians from their quarters into relative safety of the main tower. The habitat building caught fire from the explosion, too, and was belching thick smoke.

OSF troops didn’t bother with rescuing the wounded. They knew that it was just a distraction, that the enemy was numerically inferior, and thus had to compensate for this. Squad sergeants ordered their men to fall back towards the tower and take defensive positions. The tower was still not compromised, and some automatic defenses were online. All in all, the first, most crucial attack – against the information layer – has failed, or so it seemed.

Then the Spetznaz shot smoke grenades into the courtyard, blew holes in the perimeter wall and came through with gusto.

They entered the courtyard quickly and with iron discipline, despite facing direct fire from the start. The team split immediately into two sections – one of them went on to circle the courtyard, taking cover behind various prefab buildings and tossing incendiaries inside them. The other section fired a thermobaric RPG round straight into the tower door, and then took cover and started shooting back at American soldiers.

The fight was far from clear and structured. Smoke covered a lot of the courtyard, obscuring all sensors. Noise, screams of the wounded, burning buildings and chatter of automatic weapons further added to the confusion. Anti-personnel flechettes filled the air, cutting their own tunnels through the smoke and blasting holes in building walls, but rarely found their intended targets.

Anatoyli came through with the first section, the one that stayed in the courtyard. The smoke impaired his image of the battle as much as it hurt the Americans – but he could tell from the shots and their distribution that their enemies haven’t lost their cohesion. As Misha fired an RPG straight into the base of the tower, Anatoyli dashed forward, through the thick some clouds, and took cover behind an abandoned forklift. Burning debris and bodies littered the courtyard in front of him. As he scanned the battlefield, Misha’s RPG round screamed past him and exploded in a brilliant fireball, burning flesh and violently destroying lungs. Parts of surrounding buildings collapsed, as their light construction was unable to deal with the shock. Anatoyli couldn’t see whether Americans lost any people to this blast, but it didn’t matter. His section advanced several meters using the confusion, leapfrogging under fire. Anatoyli detected a status update thanks to his link, and commanded his section to put on their NBC masks.

This update came from the other section, commanded by a corporal, that moved to outflank American defenders, and set fire to every building they passed. The prefabs were built in two rows, with a central street between them, which lead to the main tower. Setting fire to those buildings not only added to the confusion, but also shielded the Spetznaz from automated defenses.

As they reached the last building before the main tower, they stopped and chucked two nerve gas grenades at the entrance. It was a nasty agent, causing respiratory and heart failure within minutes of deployment. As soon as their grenades burst, both sections leapfrogged towards the tower entrance, under cover provided by their machine gunners. Once that happened, OSF soldiers fell back inside the tower, only losing a couple troops to the gas. They covered their retreat with accurate fire, and now that the smoke has cleared, their flechettes found their marks. Two Russians were hit directly and tumbled to the ground, screaming in pain.

American C&C

The battlespace presentation was useless now, computers being unable to clearly show all the information. Enemy markers blinked in and out of the image all over the place ; automated defenses fired at sensor ghosts, and conflicting updates from suit sensors resulted in a complete mess. It was up to sergeants and corporals to co-ordinate the defense, while their officers could do nothing but tend to their stations, watch and try to anticipate the next move of their enemy.

“The enemy is advancing on the tower. Our troops are reporting casualties, but they managed to down at least two opponents.” – with the loss of most of his drones, Barret tried to piece together a rough picture of the situation from radio signals – “Frankly, sir, it looks like they’re trying to wipe us out.”

“No, I don’t think so." - Henderson replied - "They could’ve done this easily from orbit.” This may not have been the enemy’s objective, but they were doing a great job of that nevertheless, Henderson thought.

“I want our people to retreat inside the tower and barricade the corridors. They don’t have the numbers or the support to storm even improvised fortifications. And lieutenant…” – he turned towards Fields – “...go down there and take command. It'll be a lot more effective than all our useless toys in here.”

Fields smiled, but it was a bitter smile.

“Yes sir!” – she said, and picked up her rifle. She was wearing her gear already.

They watched her leave, and then Foucauld grabbed his own weapon and ran towards the exit.

“I’ll go with her, sir. I can help set up turrets locally.” – he explained. Henderson nodded his approval. It wouldn’t hurt. Then he gave another order.

“Carl, signal the Maggie. I want them to find that ship.” – Having the enemy ride staked out for the kill wouldn’t hurt either, Henderson thought.

Jungle

Gorya hit the ground, after running half a kilometer in this hellish terrain. He deployed his equipment again and got to work plugging into the extended command network. The first thing he did was a full scan of all communications frequencies, to build and emission map update. He detected a drone flying overhead – probably an American observer trying to pinpoint his location – and his gear picked up its emissions. It was using the ground-search radar, had an active command link and…

Gorya had to listen to the message twice before he got what it said.

Iobanyi v rot! – was all that he could think.
Last edited by PeZook on 2007-08-17 07:31am, edited 2 times in total.
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Post by Phantasee »

Hilarious. The bit at the end, I mean. To go through all that effort to conceal a signal, and the Russians don't get it until they've already started shooting the Americans to pieces.

You had some tense issues in the battle description, especially in the last three sections.
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Post by PeZook »

Phantasee wrote:Hilarious. The bit at the end, I mean. To go through all that effort to conceal a signal, and the Russians don't get it until they've already started shooting the Americans to pieces.
Well, Foucauld wasn't exactly enthusiastic aboot the whole thing when he was installing the message ;)
Phantasee wrote:You had some tense issues in the battle description, especially in the last three sections.
Oh, again? Well, thanks for pointing it out. I'll get on fixing those right away :)
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Post by Phantasee »

Ooh, a hint?

If you don't mind, what is that bit he's thinking at the end? I don't speak foreign :P
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Post by PeZook »

Phantasee wrote:Ooh, a hint?

If you don't mind, what is that bit he's thinking at the end? I don't speak foreign :P
Oh, it roughly translates to "Fucked up the ass". It's a popular Russian vulgar expletive. Though I might ask our resident Russian if I used it properly in context ;)
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Post by PeZook »

The Assault, p.4

American C&C

The sound of gunfire rang through corridors, interrupted occasionally by explosions and screams of the wounded. Flechettes penetrated easily through walls and ceilings, striking people and equipment. A fire was burning on the ground floor, started by God knows what, and belching smoke through the ventilation system. As Fields ran through the corridors, she saw civilians scream for help, huddling under desks and workbenches which offered about as much protection as toilet paper.

A short burst penetrated the floor just in front of her, and the flechettes disintegrated in a hail of shrapnel right after penetrating. Some of the fragments struck her, but unlike the scientists, she was wearing an armored body glove, that made the fragments completely harmless.

As she reached the stairwell leading down to the ground floor, she suddenly heard running footsteps behind her. She didn’t pick up anybody on the battle link, so she spun around instinctively, raising her rifle.

“Whoa, easy there!” – Foucauld skidded to a stop, raising both his hands. He was in full gear, too, and had his rifle with him. It was hanging from his neck on a tactical sling

“Come on, the shit seems to have really hit the fan downstairs.” – Foucauld smiled while looking Field in the eyes, trying to act composed. Fields watched him through her rifle’s sights, wondering why was it that her instincts were screaming to shoot him right here.

“You’re not transmitting.” – she stated, matter of factly, still not lowering the gun.

“Sorry. I forgot to plug in.” – Foucauld still had his hands in the air and was smiling at her. A heartbeat later, his signal appeared on the link – “There, better?”

Fields hesitated for a second, but finally lowered her weapon.

“Let’s go.” – she told him, stepping to the side – “You first”

He cringed, but went ahead. When passing her, he clicked the safety on his rifle back on.

I knew it wouldn’t be that easy – he thought, entering the stairwell. Fields followed him, rifle at the ready.

Downstairs

The situation was more stabilized now. While the Spetznaz stormed inside the building, seemingly without any loss in momentum, they were met by a hail of fire which almost stopped them cold. OSF soldiers were falling back in good order, and what began as an almost unopposed advance began to slow down. The attackers were unable to advance up a featureless corridor with no cover, and the defenders were still too disorganized to mount a counterattack. For now, the Americans fell back to a makeshift barricade established some way beyond the corner, near the central staircase.

Anatoyli assessed his casualties. He lost two men, shot dead, and two more were wounded but still combat effective. That meant he only had a total of four men, including him, to conclude the assault. He was unsure how many Americans they killed, but it didn’t really matter – they had to get in and out quickly, before the vastly superior enemy would mount a counterattack.

He sent a decoy drone around the first bend in the corridor. It scurried forward on its eight legs, and revealed the barricade to everyone. Moments later, it was fired upon, so it climbed quickly up the wall, broke a lamp cover and scurried into maintenance spaces above the ceiling.

Other drones scattered quickly around the compound, dodging fire and mapping out the complex. Anatoyli bit his lower lip as he considered his options.

“What now?” – Misha asked him, looking towards the corner

His two other men, Igor and Ilya, were kneeling behind what feeble cover there was. The shooting stopped, for the time at least. They were both wounded, but their field uniforms would tend to that for the time being.

“Well, we have to hit them again, before they regroup. If we can get rid of that barricade, we should be able to get enough data before they can mount a response. I hope.”

Anatoyli looked over the video feed from the decoy drone. The barricade was rather light, enough to impede progress but not flechettes. On the other hand, the moment his men cleared the corner it would fill up with fire. Even if they used smoke, it would be of little help.

“Let’s make a satchel charge, captain. We can tie the bag to a drone and send it over.”

“Okay, I like that idea. Everyone, get your explosives together!”

It was a simple idea – or downright primitive, even. Misha removed his butt-pack and discarded all the food rations inside. Then everybody put whatever was left of their explosives inside the bag.

Anatoyli recalled the drone hiding inside the maintenance ducts. It dropped down to the floor and ran around the corner as fast as it could, chased by fire from the barricade. Misha slaved one of the charges to the drone’s AI, tied the bag to the its back, and then it was sent off. Just as the drone started running, a 25mm grenade bounced off the opposing wall and exploded between the Russian commandoes.

Barricade

Fields and Foucauld reached the ground floor just as the shooting stopped. What they saw was horrifying.

OSF troops and civilian workers were hastily constructing a barricade in the middle of the corridor leading to the stairway and laboratories. A soldier was laying by the wall, choking on his own blood and trembling uncontrollably. Nerve gas – Fields thought.

The situation wasn’t that bad, at least. More soldiers were arriving at the barricade, and soon they could attempt a counterattack. Fields pointed to the first sergeant she could see.

“You! Give me a status report!”

The sergeant was confused, but then noticed her lieutenant’s insignia and recognized her.

“Yes, ma’am. These guys, they stormed through the compound like we weren’t there. We had to fall back when they knocked out our turrets and then used nerve gas, but I think they’ve ran out of tricks. They’ve probably stopped to think, but their drones may have infiltrated deeper.”

“How many?”

“Uh…four. Four men, that is. There were about a dozen drones.”

Fields gave the sergeant a long, skeptical look

“Four. I understand. How many casualties on our side?”

“Ten, not counting the civvies. Most of them wounded who we’ve lost in the initial mortar attack.”

“Where are the wounded now?”

“We’ve left them where they were hit, mostly. If we tried evacuating them, we’d have a lot more casualties.”

“Of course” – Fields only hoped the uniforms would stabilize their wounded owners. She didn’t particularly enjoy having to deal with even more dead men by the end of it all.

“Get your men regrouped, sergeant. Redistribute ammo and grenades…I want everyone ready for a counterattack in three minutes tops.”

“Yes ma’am!” – the sergeant smiled and ran to his squad. Commands were barked out and squads reformed swiftly. Fields noticed that the battle link has cleared up some, and data was once again flowing through to the C&C and individual soldiers. It seemed like this attack would be over within the next ten minutes.

She turned to Foucauld, who was kneeling by the barricade, observing the corridor. He didn’t seem to realize that she had figured out what it was that he wanted to do up there, in the corridor, devoid of witnesses. He probably had the means to erase the battle link logs,too, after the deed was done. She’d have to tie up that loose end, but not right now.

“Drone!” – somebody cried out suddenly, just as a small, spider-like shape ejected itself from a broken ceiling light and hit the floor with a metallic noise. Foucauld fired a burst at it, and other soldiers joined in, but the little beast scurried around the corner, zig-zagging too quickly to track. The firing stooped as soon as the little beast was gone.

Shit – Fields thought. It was unexpected, and that meant their enemy has just thought of something. She quickly analyzed the situation and raised her rifle, while simultaneously giving her men a signal to advance through the battle link.

Two squads of OSF troops cleared the barricade, advancing rapidly towards the bend. Fields was leading them, following the left-hand wall with her rifle at the ready. Her men were right behind her, their weapons raised, knees bent slightly. With their gear, body armor, helmets and precise movements, they looked like robots rather than living beings. With deadly grace imparted by years of practice, senses honed to near-perfection and augmented by cybernetics and teammates at their backs, they had all the tools needed to overwhelm and dispatch their enemy. Fields stopped her men just before the bend, aimed her rifle at the wall and shot a 25mm grenade. It bounced off, disappeared from sight around the corner and exploded with a thundering roar.

“Go go go!” – she screamed and started running forward, but before she cleared the bend, she noticed the drone as it ran around the corner and scurried straight towards her men. It had something attached to its back, and though Fields was surprised to see it charging like that, she recognized the payload immediately.

But before she could say anything, command her men to do anything, or even think anything at all, the drone leapt into the air and detonated the satchel charge, filling the corridor with flame, dust and screams.
Last edited by PeZook on 2007-09-11 04:26am, edited 1 time in total.
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Phantasee
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Post by Phantasee »

Oh excellent, a whiff of MAD in the air.
She turned to Foucauld, who was kneeling by the barricade, observing the corridor. He didn’t seem to realize that she has figured out what it was that he wanted to do up there, in the corridor, devoid of witnesses. He probably had the means to erase the battle link logs,too, after the deed was done. She’d have to tie up that loose end, but not right now.
You had tense issues here again, but this is the only one I caught.
XXXI
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Post by PeZook »

The Assault, p.5

Jungle

It was a hellish run, even though the distance was short. Tangled branches seemed to form barriers entirely of their own volitions, as Gorya tried to get to the compound as soon as possible.

He didn’t know what he’d do once he got there, but he ran out of other options. He tried calling his commander through the battle link, but the entire team was silenced after a tremendous explosion occurred at the tower. Gorya could see smoke billowing out of the American compound, enveloping the central tower in an ominous shroud.

He finally reached the rendezvous point, breathing heavily. The inside of his mouth tasted like ash and motor oil and his face was smeared with foul excretions of the jungle. He looked around the small clearing and saw both snipers there, carefully watching the surrounding area.

Gorya took a few seconds to steady his breathing before approaching them.

“What happened?” – the Frenchman was first to ask a question.

“I…don’t know. I picked up a transmission from an American drone. It said the shooting at the stream was not authorized, and that OSF had explicit orders not to engage us.”

“And? It’s probably disinformation.” – the German spotter remarked, but didn’t stop scanning the jungle.

“To what end? It’s not like we’d have walked into the open to shake hands with them.” – Gorya glanced at his comrades – who weren’t really comrades at all. The Frenchman was looking at him from behind his sensor-pack and breathing mask, dressed in a heavy ghillie suit that allowed him to blend into the terrain.

“It doesn’t matter now. Captain Korechkin seems to have blown them all up.” – the cynical tone in the Frenchman’s voice was starting to irritate Gorya, but the sniper did have a point.

“Has anybody left the tower since the explosion?”

“No, we haven’t seen anybody.”

Gorya thought about the situation for a second. There were two possibilities – either the entire team was dead, in which case the proper action to take would be to get out and call for extraction, or some soldiers survived and were a potential liability if captured. The second possibility was far more likely, given how effective their body armor was. He looked at the sniper team, but didn’t notice anything that could suggest they wouldn’t follow his orders.

“Very well. We have to go in and finish off our wounded, and then extract. Get ready.”

Ten minutes later, inside the tower

The corridor was full of dust and debris from the explosion. Loose cables hung from the ceiling, along with broken glass from the lamps. The air smelt of blood, vomit and the outside.
Fields couldn’t decide which smell was worse, but she was thankful to be alive. The explosion threw her forward and slammed her into the wall, head-first. If it wasn’t for her helmet, she’d be dead by now, or at least that’s what the splitting headache suggested. She could also feel blood under her jumpsuit, and the medical sensors built into the fabric confirmed heavy blunt trauma all over her body. Her suit was now working feverishly to stop the bleeding, but didn’t help with the pain a whole lot.

She was so busy trying to make heads or tails of the medical data that she didn’t notice the pair of combat boots that entered her field of view. They just stood there for a while, apparently attached to fully functional legs.

“Looks like they didn’t get your message, Fields.” – the speaker kneeled, and Foucauld’s face came into view – “And it doesn’t seem likely Henderson’s going to hear anything about me, either.”

He smirked. Fields tried to concentrate, but throbbing pain pulsating through her body made it difficult. She knew exactly what Foucauld was going to do, but to her absolute horror, her body was too wrecked to actually oppose him.

“Sucks to be you, eh? It’s not a nice feeling when you can’t do anything, is it?” - Foucauld raised his hand, which held a hypodermic syringe – “You know, when you started blackmailing me, I really thought you’d be smarter than that. Leaving me behind, fully armed and unsupervised? Come on. You’re a combat jumper, you guys are supposed to be paranoid.”

Fields grit her teeth and assessed her condition. There was a lot of internal bleeding, but her suit was getting it under control with drugs and nanite injections. If she could gain another minute, she could at least try something.

“What’s in the syringe, Tom?” – she managed to rasp in response

“That? Oh, I got it from one of your Eurotrash friends laying peacefully over there. I don’t know what exactly is in there, but I doubt it’s anything benign.”

“Like what you used to drug that lab assistant, huh? Is that what you would call ‘benign’?”

Foucauld rolled his eyes.

“You’re about to get killed, and you’re still harping on about her? I’d really think you’d have something more…profound to say in your last moment.”

The bleeding was almost sealed now. Fields’ internal organs would not take well to what she was about to do to them next, but it was the only chance. Foucauld removed her helmet and undid the collar, exposing her carotid artery. She remained limp for the moment.

“I’d really prefer to just put a bullet in you, and it was a good idea when these guys were still alive, but I guess I’ll have to settle for making it look like the explosion did it.”

Fields watched the needle intently, waiting for the right moment.

“And, you know…I didn’t actually drug her. She bought the stuff from me herself, and I just, well…took advantage of the situation, if you know what I mean.”

Foucauld leaned forward with the syringe in his right hand. Seeing that, Fields took a deep breath and told her suit to inject the stims.

“Oh, I know exactly what you mean, you son of a bitch!”

She grabbed his arm, twisting it with one fluid move. A she felt the adrenaline and stims rushing in, like fire through her veins, the pain suddenly went away. She hooked Foucauld’s leg with her own and pulled, bringing him down to the ground. His right hand, still held tight by her, snapped out of its joint immediately.

Foucauld recovered from his initial surprise quickly, though, and rolled aside, while unfastening his holster at the same time. Fields stood up rapidly, moving with precision only possible to somebody aided by stims.

She lunged towards Foucauld and kicked him in the left hand. But he dodged that, pulled out his pistol and shot Fields two times in the chest.

She didn’t feel the pain, and the impact was barely noticeable. Believing her body armor to have held, Fields closed the distance rapidly, grabbing Foucauld’s left arm and hitting him in the face with an open palm of her right.hand.

The hit broke his nose, and he screamed briefly from the pain. But his equipment was of the same quality as what Fields wore, and injected him with powerful painkillers as soon as it detected injury. He kicked her in the supporting leg, and despite the stims and painkillers, Fields collapsed, her already strained muscles giving way.

She didn’t let go of her grip, though, and pulled him to the ground as well. His pistol went flying somewhere to the side, but he grabbed her head with his free arm and slammed it into the ground. He went limp for a brief moment after that.

“Bitch!” – Foucauld screamed. His rage was burning through his veins with more intensity than any combat chemicals could ever achieve. He held Fields firmly by her hair, slamming her head repetitively into the hard floor, desperately hoping it would put her out of the fight.

For her, the fight was a calculated event, with no emotion whatsoever. As she recovered from the first few hits, dizzied and somewhat disoriented, she freed her left hand and jabbed her thumb into a pressure point on Foucauld’s palm, causing debilitating pain to arch through his body, overcoming even the stims for a short moment. When he stopped hitting her for this brief moment and screamed in pain, she threw him off her, used this moment to pull out a knife from her sheath and stabbed Foucauld with a short, lightning-quick motion.

It was surprise which got him more than anything else. He felt the cold steel plunge straight into his heart, but for several more seconds it was still beating, driven forward by combat stims injected in massive doses by his suit. But he wasted this time, staring at the knife in disbelief, not knowing what to do. Fields did not have such scruples – she drove the knife deeper and twisted it, destroying Foucauld’s heart and finally sealing his fate.

As stim injections stopped, and adrenaline weaned off, she rolled to her side and froze almost immediately. She saw three enemy soldiers, just standing there and staring at her. She didn’t even notice bleeding warnings her suit was starting to send again.

They looked around the battlefield, noticing their fallen comrades. Two of them were armed with high-powered rifles and wore ghillie suits, and only one used normal gear. The two snipers started checking vital signs of their teammates, while the other one approached Fields. He stood there, as if thinking what to do with her. After a minute, Fields decided she’s had enough of this.

“What are you standing there for? You stupid fucks started it, so why don’t you finish this thing?”

The Russian kneeled besides her, lowering his rifle. He removed his breathing mask.

“Was it you who sent the message?” – he asked, in English, with only the slightest hint of an accent.
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