How would you invade Planet Earth?

[The Guid]

You are a Commander in a Interplanetary Mercenary Force. You're superior officer has told you that your mission is to conquer the Solar System. It has only one inhabited planet, which is to be your primary target, that is Earth. The date for your invasion will coincide with their New year in the year on their dominant calendar of 2007.

Obviously the forces of the mercenary force could easily conquer the planet but your superior officer has given you conditions:

1. Make it as cheap as you can. Expenses come from the following:

a. The more advanced the technology is the more it costs. If you can use a Jet Fighter equivilant to what they have on Earth then use it in preference of a shuttlecraft with shields.

b. The more people you take the more money it costs. This means that larger ships are going to cost you money as they require larger crews. Using a lot of troops is also going to cost money.

c. Take as little time as possible. The sooner the planet is subdued the sooner the ships, troops etc. can move on to other matters.

Your superior makes it clear however that he is willing to give you whatever you ask for. If you come to the conclusion that it will take nothing less than a garrisson of millions of troops backed by hundreds of thousands of ships then that is what you shall have but the more you minimise costs the greater the prize for yourself.

2. Try to cause as little collateral damage as posssible. This planet is wanted for its resources - food growth, oils, uranium, people, land etc. All of these things are to be preserved as much as possible.

3. No time travelling. That is banned under the Convention of Geltha V which we know we sign in 5,000 years time and we have to stick to... apparently.

4. Clones cost extra. Only use them if absolutely neccessary.

5. Beware that other mercenary groups may take an interest should you make vague threats without an immediate response.

Good luck

[darth_timon]

I'd take a small fleet of ships (say, twenty) of Nebulon-B Frigate size, armed with twenty 1GT nukes each. I'd launch a few missiles targeted to strike areas around major cities, so as to scare the populations. Thus, in the grand scheme of things, not a great deal of environmental damage is done to the planet.

If earth didn't surrender, a major city would be destroyed, picked entirely at random. Should surrender still not follow, major military bases and assets would be targeted from orbit with more surgical strikes from smaller weapons (no more than a few kilotons). This would then be followed by an immediate invasion, from troop ships hanging back. Troops would be poured into earth until the planet had either surrendered or been subdued.

[Starglider]

Make an extremely contagious biological weapon that knocks out the human ability to produce some key biochemical, such that the humans will die within weeks if they don't get it artificially. For good measure, blow up whatever plants might be able to synthesise this on a large scale with a few rocks dropped from orbit. Then turn up with a couple of megafreighters full of supplements that cure the degeneration as long as they're taken regularly. The humans must obey your every order if they want to receive shuttle-loads of the life-prolonging supplements, otherwise they will die in agony.

[Lord Revan]

Make an extremely contagious biological weapon that knocks out the human ability to produce some key biochemical, such that the humans will die within weeks if they don't get it artificially. For good measure, blow up whatever plants might be able to synthesise this on a large scale with a few rocks dropped from orbit. Then turn up with a couple of megafreighters full of supplements that cure the degeneration as long as they're taken regularly. The humans must obey your every order if they want to receive shuttle-loads of the life-prolonging supplements, otherwise they will die in agony.

I'd stay away from NBC weapon as they can and do cause alot of uneeded damage/problems and can backfire really badly, especially bio-weapons

[Starglider]

I'd stay away from NBC weapon as they can and do cause alot of uneeded damage/problems and can backfire really badly, especially bio-weapons

Biological weapons can't backfire if you're an alien species with an entirely different biological makeup, probably not even using DNA. I have no idea why you said 'NBC', nuclear weapons and nerve-gassing whole cities are perfectly viable tactics, the first just does expensive collateral damage and the second wastes valuable man-animal slaves.

[Nieztchean Uber-Amoeba]

Easy. Arrive in the Solar System with a few big ships. Open communications with the U.N. and all national governments. Use a multi-gigaton explosive on the Moon and clean up any debris heading towards Earth. Tell Earth in no uncertain terms that anything other than a complete surrender will be met with annihilation. The first nation to refuse gets glassed from orbit. Continue until all nations have surrendered.

[Lord Revan]

I'd stay away from NBC weapon as they can and do cause alot of uneeded damage/problems and can backfire really badly, especially bio-weapons

Biological weapons can't backfire if you're an alien species with an entirely different biological makeup, probably not even using DNA. I have no idea why you said 'NBC', nuclear weapons and nerve-gassing whole cities are perfectly viable tactics, the first just does expensive collateral damage and the second wastes valuable man-animal slaves.

do you realize that, unless the alien biology is close that of the humans it will take both time and money to develop any kind of biological agent (assuming it's even possible) also thanks to a pesky thing called evolution tend dictate that any biological agent that could affect other (earth) species as well (or evolve into a form we can't handle) and our job is capture earth with little trouble and/or damage (and all NBC weapons cause major collateral damage (they alway both WMD and terror weapons not tactical ones) so if just possible I'd stay away from those.

[General Zod]

1 - Use EMP weaponry to disable as many forms of communication networks as possible, in addition to most of humanity's ground equipment.

2 - Obliterate their capitals and known military installations via high yield missiles, effectively crippling their leadership capabilities.

3 - Deploy large craft around major cities with ultimatums to surrender or destroy one city for every hour that they refuse. Using your own communication equipment to relay the messages. Destroy one city without hesitation to make an example. Needless to say this method will render ground troops largely unneeded.

[K. A. Pital]

Just talk to Earth leadership and demonstrate firepower on the Moon as Nieztchean Uber-Amoeba suggested.

Earth politicians will sell the planet out. Especially since the citizens would not have much choice than to support them, either.

[General Zod]

Just talk to Earth leadership and demonstrate firepower on the Moon as Nieztchean Uber-Amoeba suggested.

Earth politicians will sell the planet out. Especially since the citizens would not have much choice than to support them, either.

If you only use your firepower on the moon they might think you're bluffing and won't be willing to use it on a city populace. Using it on a major metropolitan center leaves no room for doubt that you are in fact willing to back up your threats.

[Zor]

1-Put into orbit a fleet of about 50 ships in the 300-500 meter range area, each ship is to be equiped with an arsenal of Kinetic Energy penitrators, Nuclear weapons in the 50kt to 1mt range and a couple of point defense lasers for good measure.
2-Give an ultimatum, all nations are to stand down all military forces, turn over all nuclear weapons and submit to vassalage to my patron within twenty four terran hours or else i will destroy the cities of the world from the most popular. To demonstrate i mean buissiness, i destroy a city in the 100,000-500,000 population range after the statement.
3-Upon their surrender, i deploy a peacekeeping force of 20,000,000 Power armored infantry, each equiped with a fire team of quadrapedal war robots for support backed by armored (railgun equiped tanks) and air support. Areas that are stable are to have the general operation effects minimised, areas that are unstable (like africa) are to be conquered. Establish a central world command base on an orbiting space station
4-bring in a series of orbital defense platforms and establish theater sheilds over the major cities as well as putting up a few space elevators to begin orbital industrialization.
5-Hand it over.

[frogcurry]

1) Nuke Dublin from space. (why Ireland? Small population, no real importance, less radiation damage to other areas, but Europe and USA will feel the pain...)
2) Inform the world that any nation not accepting our rule will join the Irish.

After that all I need are some satellites in orbit for observation and a could of manned missle platforms. The indigenes will provide for my security, organisation and other needs, since if they don't they'll be made to suffer considerably. Or so they are led to believe.

Nukes can work well if you don't need to worry about MAD.

[Nieztchean Uber-Amoeba]

Just talk to Earth leadership and demonstrate firepower on the Moon as Nieztchean Uber-Amoeba suggested.

Earth politicians will sell the planet out. Especially since the citizens would not have much choice than to support them, either.

If you only use your firepower on the moon they might think you're bluffing and won't be willing to use it on a city populace. Using it on a major metropolitan center leaves no room for doubt that you are in fact willing to back up your threats.

The first nation to resist my proposal would receive a suitable demonstration of my willingness to use force. However, needless destruction of resources, equipment and buildings which would be suitable for uses by Earth's new protectors would be a waste. Besides, excessive firepower jacks up the price on the mission, and the Evil Empire has enough pork-budgeting as it is.

[frogcurry]

I can foresee a problem with the moon-shooting plan; if they all appear to kow-tow at first meaning no-one gets made an example, but then they start making trouble later since you've not put the Fear of Nieztchean Uber-Amoeba into their spines.

[darth_timon]

Another idea is to have a few ships simply tow or tractor a few asteroids and lob them at earth until earth surrenders. Even something as small as a 7 metre rocky asteroid exploding 5-20KM above the surface would explode with the force of around 20KT. Lobbing those at or near major cities would instill a lot of fear in the population and in terms of saving energy, your ships aren't having to actually fire any shots. It would be a demonstration of how vulnerable humanity was to attack from space.

[Jadeite]

"Surrender or I'll smack your planet with an asteroid."

[darthbob88]

Depends on a number of factors, but most likely my plan would go like so:
1. Procure a fleet of cruiser analogues, like the ISDs, VSDs, etc. Also get one big freighter ship, and outfit it with lots of weapons for intimidation purposes; nukes, big-ass blasters, etc. Actual firepower is less important than the intimidation factor. The fleet's to provide the firepower. Also include at least one tractor beam, if such devices are cost-effective. Otherwise, get some mass-drivers for asteroid maneuvering.
2. FTL the entire fleet into approximately the orbit of Pluto, and sub-light from there inwards. Make sure that Terran astronomers can see the fleet coming and how large the fleet is. On the way in, snag an asteroid or two.
3. Stop the fleet's advance in the area of the Moon, Mars, or whatever. From there, send the converted freighter to orbit Earth. Again, from there, send down to Earth at least one of the mercenaries chosen for his/her intimidating nature.
4. Inform the people of Earth that their planet now belongs to Rent-A-Merc, and that they will not be harmed, so long as they behave themselves and serve well. If they do not....*have the freighter glass some area of desert to make the point*, and a world-wide rebellion will be met with major devastation.*One of the asteroids hits Mars or the moon*
5. Accept the surrender of Earth and start landing material to strip-mine the planet. This is the other reason for the freighter.
6(Opt.). Rig up one or more of the asteroids in the system with hypercomm systems and maneuvering thrusters, and put them in stable Earth orbits, so that the commanders of the Earth garrison can instantly wipe out the population of Earth in case of trouble.

[Nieztchean Uber-Amoeba]

I can foresee a problem with the moon-shooting plan; if they all appear to kow-tow at first meaning no-one gets made an example, but then they start making trouble later since you've not put the Fear of Nieztchean Uber-Amoeba into their spines.

In that case, write on the bright side of the Moon, in big letters: "Fuck up and we throw this at you"

That way, every time they look up into the sky they know my power.

Unless this happens. Then, yeah, better start nuking everything in sight.

[darthbob88]

Ghetto Edit: Actually, one other point. After the threats and intimidation portion, offer Earth some of the advanced technology used by the fleet; cures for cancer and the common cold, working fusion reactors, etc. Make it known to as much of the world as possible that they can only gain this technology if they surrender immediately.

[CaptainChewbacca]

I would use deception. Either engineer some horrific plague, or send an asteroid on a collision course with earth. Then, show up with my fleet and say 'I am a representitive of the Great Galactic Civilization'. Basically, tell them earth is promising enough as an emerging race that I have been 'allowed' to save it from destruction, in return for the understanding that administration and governance of earth's nations and people be given over 'to sufficiently stabilize and advance humanity' over a period of a few hundred years.

Give me 300 years, and I can deliver earth and a pliable populace to my superiors without a shot fired and absolutely minimal cost. You don't have to police or occupy a willing population. Basically, my plan is a combination of the GalFed of John Ringo's books, and the tactic that the Empire took during the occupation of the Renatasia system in the Adventures of Lando Calrissian.

[Zixinus]

Make a small fleet of ships with anti-missile defence.

Then make a system with what you can block sunlight with geostationary orbit at will. Any country will capitulate and my fleet of orbiter ships would destroy any missile attempting to stop me. Ground lasers fires would be met with relativistic rocks throw at country's capitol.

[kinnison]

Glass all military bases and political centres (particularly CCC ones) with suitably-sized rocks from the Asteroid Belt. Deploy a fleet of unmanned satellites with Thor-style kinetic penetrators in orbit, ready to slag any military formations that escape. Kill the entire GPS and comsat constellation.

[CaptainChewbacca]

Glass all military bases and political centres (particularly CCC ones) with suitably-sized rocks from the Asteroid Belt. Deploy a fleet of unmanned satellites with Thor-style kinetic penetrators in orbit, ready to slag any military formations that escape. Kill the entire GPS and comsat constellation.

So that whole 'keep the earth intact' thing kinda slipped by you?

[Lonestar]

So that whole 'keep the earth intact' thing kinda slipped by you?

Even that would keep Earth more or less intact, Chewie. It may not even be necessary to get all the bases on the first, second, or even third pass before the country affected capitulates.

[Darth Ruinus]

Buy 50 of ships on par with an ISD or something along its lines.

Place half of the armada near Pluto.

Jump Drive into Earth's atmosphere with armada of aforementioned ships. Broadcast on ALL channels, public TV, radio, internet, security channels, that Earth can unconditionally surrender or die. If Earth sends a message along the lines of "Maybe we can comprimise" then I order the destruction of either the most richest part of the world, or Vatican City, or some other religious area. Every 5 minutes that they dont surrender, another city is glassed.

Jump drive to high orbit, then just wait for them to surrender.

The Jump Drive tells Earth 2 things. We can arrive anywhere, instantly. 2 IF somehow, you beat us, reinforcements can arrive instantly. No waiting period, you take out our last ship, and before it blows up, reinforcements are here.

OR

Glass America from orbit. Most people seem to hate us anyways, so they'll love us for doing it.