Shit! I'll never find a girlfriend!!

[Evil Sadistic Bastard]

*Picks up bottle of vodka and starts singing a distorted drunken song about angst and the woes of singlehood*

[Darth Wong]

I calculated how big the chances of me meeting a good-looking girl, about my age and single are. I came up with this answer: 0,7%!! And that's just how big the chances are that I will meet a very good-looking girl of the right age who's single. 0,7 % of every person I meet!! That's not very good. In fact, that's really, really bad. Now I'm going to be sad the rest of the week because of this. Crap! Why did I do this calculation? Why??

0.7% is roughly 1 in 142. So, you are basically saying that if you meet 142 girls, you stand a decent chance of finding The One. And despite what some may say about getting around, getting lots of experience, etc., you only need The One.

Therefore, I suggest going to university and living in dorm. A typical large co-ed dorm will have several thousand students in it, half of which are female. Do the math

The question is:
What do you people do when you're sad?

I get Rebecca to comfort me.

If Rebecca's not around, I talk to my dog Fuzzy. He looks back at me with those big round eyes and it's not at all clear he understands jack shit, but it seems to help.

[Antie]

Therefore, I suggest going to university and living in dorm. A typical large co-ed dorm will have several thousand students in it, half of which are female. Do the math

If his calculations are correct, then he'll have a very good chance of finding The One. So I don't think his situation is as hopeless as the title of this thread suggests.

[Re: Fuzzy.] He looks back at me with those big round eyes and it's not at all clear he understands jack shit, but it seems to help.

Something similar, I think, happens between me and my cat Fritz.

[Shinova]

If you really want a girlfriend, you'll find one. The problem is keeping them.



Note: I myself have never had a girlfriend so don't take my words seriously.

[Alex Moon]

Therefore, I suggest going to university and living in dorm. A typical large co-ed dorm will have several thousand students in it, half of which are female. Do the math

If his calculations are correct, then he'll have a very good chance of finding The One. So I don't think his situation is as hopeless as the title of this thread suggests.

[Re: Fuzzy.] He looks back at me with those big round eyes and it's not at all clear he understands jack shit, but it seems to help.

Something similar, I think, happens between me and my cat Fritz.

My dog gives me a look that says, "I understand and feel your pain, Alex. You know what would make you feel better? It's nice outside and I have a great idea. It involves the leash, and me, and opening the front door, and it'll make all your troubles go away..."

[Dooey Jo]

0.7% is roughly 1 in 142. So, you are basically saying that if you meet 142 girls, you stand a decent chance of finding The One. And despite what some may say about getting around, getting lots of experience, etc., you only need The One.

The problem is: How do I make them intrested in me? I know several girls that I wouldn't mind dating, but they just want to be friends. Not to mention that 75 % of all them really good looking girls tend to allready have a boyfriend. I didn't take that into my calculation before so the chances are acctually closer to 0.2 % or something like that.

Therefore, I suggest going to university and living in dorm. A typical large co-ed dorm will have several thousand students in it, half of which are female. Do the math

Allright, here's the math:
5000 students of which 2500 are female.
Roughly 1/8 of these female are of the right age, but since this is a university, I think it's closer to 5/8. Then we have 1562.5 girls left.
9/14 (probably different for different countries) of these are good looking. 9/14 * 1562.5 = 1004.5, so we have 1004.5 good looking girls of the right age (this is girls that's just good looking, not "super model good looking"). About 65 % of girls that are this good looking have boyfriends. That leaves out 652.9 potential girlfriends for me, in this particular university. That might seem like a good chance, but we must keep in mind that there very likely to be many boys around that wants a girlfriend just as much as I do. Maybe more. And they are probably less shy then I am (I'm shy as hell). With this in mind, the chances are not so good after all. I don't want to calculate the exact value (then I would have to take the "shyness factor" and the "beauty factor" for boys into account too, and it's far to early in the morning for that right now, maybe later), but I estimate it to be something like 0.5-2 %.

The question is:
What do you people do when you're sad?

I get Rebecca to comfort me.

If Rebecca's not around, I talk to my dog Fuzzy. He looks back at me with those big round eyes and it's not at all clear he understands jack shit, but it seems to help.

My dog's name is Sussie, but we usually call her Yalo (for some reason) or just "Ssss", she don't mind we call her. We can say "Dumbass" and she will come (yeah I know, it's not very nice). She's very lazy and when I try to talk to her, she doesn't listen. Then I get tired of talking to her and I lay down on the floor and then the dog gets up, quick as hell, and licks me in my face. Not very good company perhaps but I love her all the same... She's also a jedi knight but that's a whole other story...

[aerius]

0.7% is roughly 1 in 142. So, you are basically saying that if you meet 142 girls, you stand a decent chance of finding The One. And despite what some may say about getting around, getting lots of experience, etc., you only need The One.

The problem is: How do I make them intrested in me? I know several girls that I wouldn't mind dating, but they just want to be friends. Not to mention that 75 % of all them really good looking girls tend to allready have a boyfriend. I didn't take that into my calculation before so the chances are acctually closer to 0.2 % or something like that.

Friends is where it all starts, so what if they already have a boyfriend? It just means they're unavailable for now, and when their relationships break up guess who they'll be turning to. You. Being friends is probably the best thing you could have, you get your hugs and cuddles and if you hang around the girls you'll meet a lot more girls.

In my honest opinion it's far better to have girls who are friends rather than girlfriends in highschool. At that age there's a whole bunch of petty stuff going on in relationships and very few relationships will survive past graduation. It's a really big hassle and usually leads to more trouble than good.

The way things worked out for me was that I had a bunch of girls I was friends with in high school, and 90% of them were in relationships, my current GF was one of those girls. We didn't get together & start dating until we'd both finished 2nd year university, but we did see and talk to each other a lot before that. Once you head off to college or university you'll find it's a whole new world, and if you live in a co-ed dorm you're pretty much guaranteed of having a GF. If you can say Hi to them you can do it, even if you stutter and struggle for words like I did at first. Unless you lock yourself in your room and refuse to be seen you'll be fine.

[Pu-239]

I'm a sociopath. I'll never have a girlfriend.

[Darth Wong]

The problem is: How do I make them intrested in me?

Talk to them. I know you're shy, but you've got to suck it up, grow a backbone, and force yourself to talk to them. Even if you make an ass out of yourself at first, you will get better. I know that sounds harsh, but it's the truth and you know it.

Don't over-dramatize your fear. If soldiers can suck it up and face death, you can suck it up and talk to a girl. It's not as if she's going to blow a hole through your intestines if you don't do a good job. You just need sufficient motivation; remind yourself that your lonely nights will continue unless you take action.

My dog's name is Sussie, but we usually call her Yalo (for some reason) or just "Ssss", she don't mind we call her. We can say "Dumbass" and she will come (yeah I know, it's not very nice). She's very lazy and when I try to talk to her, she doesn't listen. Then I get tired of talking to her and I lay down on the floor and then the dog gets up, quick as hell, and licks me in my face. Not very good company perhaps but I love her all the same... She's also a jedi knight but that's a whole other story...

Dogs always make people feel better, even if they're just lying around in your general vicinity.

[SWPIGWANG]

girl blew me off today

*if this mood keeps up I'm going to pull a cavray*

[Admiral Valdemar]

I calculated how big the chances of me meeting a good-looking girl, about my age and single are. I came up with this answer: 0,7%!! And that's just how big the chances are that I will meet a very good-looking girl of the right age who's single. 0,7 % of every person I meet!! That's not very good. In fact, that's really, really bad. Now I'm going to be sad the rest of the week because of this. Crap! Why did I do this calculation? Why??

0.7% is roughly 1 in 142. So, you are basically saying that if you meet 142 girls, you stand a decent chance of finding The One. And despite what some may say about getting around, getting lots of experience, etc., you only need The One.

Therefore, I suggest going to university and living in dorm. A typical large co-ed dorm will have several thousand students in it, half of which are female. Do the math

The question is:
What do you people do when you're sad?

I get Rebecca to comfort me.

If Rebecca's not around, I talk to my dog Fuzzy. He looks back at me with those big round eyes and it's not at all clear he understands jack shit, but it seems to help.

Lol, Fuzzy, what type of dog is he? A Chow Chow would need a name like that.

My Labrador is meant to be bred for intelligence, yet he rolls around in mud and constantly bangs his head on any convenient hard surface. So we named him Murphy.

He calms me by reminding me that I am superior to other lifeforms. The cat is a good relaxation... uh, thing. She always wants to be fussed (named Zooné II, don't ask).

Incidentally, there is something funny about someone calculating the odds of not getting a girl and then crying over the fact they won't get one.

Forget the maths, just get out there and meet people, I used to be shy but after 6 months of psychological therapy, 3 brain ops and the debts I had to pay back to my last girlfriend's family, I was fine and dandy.

[Gil Hamilton]

This isn't something that you can calculate. It's all about attitude. If you don't talk to people and clam up when people talk to you, then your chances are dramatically less than 0.7% of scoring a girlfriend. You don't have to be a player or be particularly outgoing (outgoing helps dramatically), but just showing that you can hold up your end of a conversation, even a chance one, and demonstrate some sort of personality and good odds are you will make friends and slightly less odds are will find someone who is single and your age and interested. And with the attractive... when you are really comfortable with even an average looking girl and are having fun, then the average looking girl can look absolutely gorgeous (alcohol helps, but you don't need told that).



RE: Fuzzy. Dogs are great for comforting because while they've got no idea what the hell your problem is, they know for a fact that something is bothering you and really want to help. This is very comforting, the idea is that another living being truly cares that you are upset, wants to make it better, and is in close proximity (this is important, humans and dogs are pack animals, close proximity makes us feel good). It's a proven psychological effect but Calvin and Hobbes coined the term "Fuzz therapy", which is the one I use for it.

[Darth Wong]

... I talk to my dog Fuzzy. He looks back at me with those big round eyes and it's not at all clear he understands jack shit, but it seems to help.

Lol, Fuzzy, what type of dog is he? A Chow Chow would need a name like that.

And this is Fuzzy keeping Rebecca company.

My Labrador is meant to be bred for intelligence, yet he rolls around in mud and constantly bangs his head on any convenient hard surface. So we named him Murphy.

He calms me by reminding me that I am superior to other lifeforms. The cat is a good relaxation... uh, thing. She always wants to be fussed (named Zooné II, don't ask).

They say that the act of petting a dog actually lowers your blood pressure.

Incidentally, there is something funny about someone calculating the odds of not getting a girl and then crying over the fact they won't get one.

Ultimately, it still comes down to him working up the courage to talk to them. Calculating odds and then crying over them (or revising them downwards in order to always make sure it looks like he must fail) is simply going to become a self-fulfilling prophecy.

Forget the maths, just get out there and meet people, I used to be shy but after 6 months of psychological therapy, 3 brain ops and the debts I had to pay back to my last girlfriend's family, I was fine and dandy.

Am I the only person around here who's never had therapy, used meds, or had major surgery?

[Zaia]

*stifled laugh*

Um, dude: calculations?

Don't discount ones you don't think are "very attractive"--usually those are the bitchy ones anyway. Get to know the sweet ones who get ignored/mistreated by assholes, show them how wonderful you can be, and in no time they'll be fighting over you.

Aerius is right; if you get to know them and become friends first, you stand a much better chance than if you talk them up at a party or something. At least, that's how I am; I constantly have to squelch crushes that I have on my guy friends. But start with whatever is most comfortable--just talking to them in any setting at all is a great start. Suck it up and just do it, man. We're really not that scary, and any bitch who rolls her eyes and walks away if you just try to talk to her isn't what you want anyway.

EDIT: Awwww! D.W., Fuzzy is adorable!! How old is he? I have 2 Siamese cats to do my cuddling with, when there are no suitable boys around.

And for the record, I've never been in therapy, had major surgery, or been on meds either.

[Darth Wong]

BTW Dooey Jo, regarding "very attractive", you'd be surprised how much of "attractive" is the way a woman carries herself, dresses, does her hair and makeup, etc. There are a lot of girls out there who look a little plain in relation to the glamour queens, but that's just because they don't doll themselves up every day. Those kinds of girls are the keepers IMHO; the ones who spend an hour and a half every morning on their appearance may have some kind of personality defect.

[Darth Wong]

EDIT: Awwww! D.W., Fuzzy is adorable!! How old is he? I have 2 Siamese cats to do my cuddling with, when there are no suitable boys around.

He's eight and a half years old. Everybody still thinks he's a puppy because he's small and playful.

[Admiral Valdemar]

Cute, it's... cheeky.

They say that the act of petting a dog actually lowers your blood pressure.

So I hear, most pets seem to help be it the fur or the general feel of having an animal that you can talk to that won't ignore you or tell you to shut up.

Ultimately, it still comes down to him working up the courage to talk to them. Calculating odds and then crying over them (or revising them downwards in order to always make sure it looks like he must fail) is simply going to become a self-fulfilling prophecy.

Yup, getting that ability and charming a girl is well worth the reward, but I'm holding off that for now, my last g/f was a disaster and I have no intentions on repeating that now. I was the dumper for once, she just didn't seem to fit time for me unlike other girls I've known.

Am I the only person around here who's never had therapy, used meds, or had major surgery?

While I have had some surgery before, I can assure you non of what I said in that post is related to it.

[Arthur_Tuxedo]

Can't remember whether I mentioned this before, but Fuzzy looks a lot like my dog Muttley, just with a thicker coat.

[Howedar]

Thank God for my cat, the only thing in the world that offers permament affection regardless of circumstances.

[Durandal]

Heh, my cat rules, but she's back at home. Whenever I'm there, though, she sleeps at my feet every night.

Random thought: When I was Christian, and was told that God unconditionally loved me, I immediately thought of my cat, who offered the same unconditional love. Then I thought, "If that's the case, God's probably just be too damned stupid to stop loving me."

[Dooey Jo]

Incidentally, there is something funny about someone calculating the odds of not getting a girl and then crying over the fact they won't get one.

Forget the maths, just get out there and meet people, I used to be shy but after 6 months of psychological therapy, 3 brain ops and the debts I had to pay back to my last girlfriend's family, I was fine and dandy.

This calculation has a very long history. It started with me calculating the odds for a girl with a particular name, coming from a particular place, just to tease a friend. He said his head exploded because he had just had chemisry. Then to tease him more, I made a calculation for the odds of meeting a nice girl, or something. The next day, I got bored during the maths class and continued my calculation. And now when it's finished, I'm happy again because it shows that 2.825 girls likes me, just in my home town. 2.825 of 6000 is not that bad. This is very intresting; I've been in love with 2 girls over the last 3 years. This could mean that they secretly loved me too, but I'll never know 'cause I've never asked them (yes I'm stupid )
Therefor, I have decided that the next time I fall in love with a girl, I'm going to ask her out for a date, or some such.


Shit! You had brain surgery for your shyness?! If there's something that I hate more than beeing shy, it's brain surgery. And cancer. I hate cancer. I'm not doing a calculation on how the chances are that I will get cancer, becuase I will get cancer from the result... To myself: Stop f*cking talking about cancer damnit!!

Well, anyway, if anyone's intrested, the chance for an ordinary guy falling in love with a girl that falls in love with him, an ordinary day is: 0.02%. That's a fairly good chance when you think about it. Yup, time to test this calculation and see if it applies to real life, on monday. If I ask every girl that I meet on the street if she wants to go out on a date with me, and I meet 500 girls, at least one of them will say yes (if we take away the girl's "shyness-factor". And mine. Which we do in case, 'cause if some starts talking to you, you're going to talk back, no matter how shy you are. Or maybe I am not as shy as I think I am...). Shit, that almost sounds to good to be true!

[Admiral Valdemar]

Perhaps my joke was a bit too serious sounding. The surgery, shrink time and comensation thing was in jest.

Though I used to be very shy and infact I still am from time-to-time.

Don't worry, you'll get over it like I did. Or turn gay. J/K

[Necro99]

aaaaawwwwwwwwwww x 1^392e

Not to mention that 75 % of all them really good looking girls tend to allready have a boyfriend.

Then you must learn the ancient art of blackmailing and assasination.

[Durandal]

By the way, your calculation doesn't take into account the inherent fluctuation in chances with a particular girl. As you get to know her, your chances with her will change. You could take an assessment of your chances with her at specific points in time, plot them and then graph them. Doing a curve-fit, you'll be able to identify the most probable trend and then find the local maximum of that curve. At that point, you'll have the best chance of scoring; this will normally be after a break-up or fight with a friend.

However, these things are generally chaotic and unpredictable. Just play it by ear, and you'll be a lot happier.

[Darth Wong]

But what about the truly important question? What are the odds of convincing her to let you fuck her up the ass?