It's Official: My mother is a total bitch!

2000AD · Post by **2000AD** » 2003-01-12 06:12pm

I'm 18 and my brothers 21.

Another annoying thing.
She tries to hit us, we block, she somehow hurts herself. She claims that we are attacking her! She hasn't done it for a while but it's damn annoying. I'm pretty sure she stopped after my brother started pushing back ( after she threw our pet mouse [in it's cage] at him) and now all her arguements with him seem to get back to how much money he owes them after flunking out of Uni. (which he has stated numerous he will pay them back when his bank gets him his replacement card and when he gets paid) and end with her screaming he wants him to be kicked out of the house. (He flunked out of uni a few month ago and has been living at hime until he can afford to move out.)

Shinova · Post by **Shinova** » 2003-01-12 06:13pm

2000AD wrote:She hasn't been in therapy but we keep telling her she needs to see a psychiatrist, and she agrees some times. And then does Jack Shit about it.

She starts 90% of the arguements in the house and she's always the first one to lose her rag and start screaming about some random thing. Me and my brother are the normally the first to through insults in (always as retaliation though) and my dad tries to weather the storm (this is probably why me and my brother have come home and found my dad crying in the loft).

1. You should drug her or drag her kicking and screaming to the psychologist's office. (terminology here: psychologists are more qualified than psychiatrists by definition)

2. Someday you'll have to have a serious talk and lay some reality on her. Make her understand what she's doing wrong.

Or try ignoring her for a few days. Do nothing. Avoid eye contact and pretend you don't hear or see her. Pretend she didn't exist. She seems like the type that likes to gobble attention to me. Maybe that'll do something.

2000AD · Post by **2000AD** » 2003-01-12 06:15pm

Shinova wrote:
2. Someday you'll have to have a serious talk and lay some reality on her. Make her understand what she's doing wrong.

Tried that (numerous times) never worked.

Shinova · Post by **Shinova** » 2003-01-12 06:20pm

I'm getting the feeling that your mom is one of those spoiled brat types. Her parents must've been very irresponsible ones.

Take her to therapy. Or ignore her---pretend that she didn't exist.

EDIT: Just suggestions. They're not guaranteed to be fool-proof.

2000AD · Post by **2000AD** » 2003-01-12 06:26pm

According to her many arguments about how we get it easy nowadays she was punished with a good spanking if she was lucky. I wouldn't say she was a spoiled brat. She did lose her father when she was young IIRC and suddenly. According to her, her mother ruled with an iron fist, but from what i've seen of her when we visit I just can't see it.

Shinova · Post by **Shinova** » 2003-01-12 06:31pm

2000AD wrote:According to her many arguments about how we get it easy nowadays she was punished with a good spanking if she was lucky. I wouldn't say she was a spoiled brat. She did lose her father when she was young IIRC and suddenly. According to her, her mother ruled with an iron fist, but from what i've seen of her when we visit I just can't see it.

With this new piece of info, I would have to say [mystical uummmmm]that she feels like everyone hates her, and the world hates her[/mystical uummmmm].

Have any of you ever responded to her raves with something other than a negative response?

EDIT whoopse, ou did a few times.

currently thinking...

Post by **Zaia** » 2003-01-12 06:55pm

2000AD wrote:
Shinova wrote:2. Someday you'll have to have a serious talk and lay some reality on her. Make her understand what she's doing wrong.
Tried that (numerous times) never worked.

That's because you're still 18. She raised you, and now you're trying to tell her how to run her life. I'm not saying it's right; I'm saying it's how she feels. Don't say "what she's done wrong," because that immediately points the finger at her. If you want to have something resembling a serious discussion, you can't be blaming her, it'll bring her defences right up and she'll shut you off, because she'll feel attacked (and rightfully so).

Try to see it from her point of view. Imagine yourself in her shoes. How would you feel if your children talked to in that way? How would you react if you felt like you were unappreciated and bullied around?

If her childhood was truly the way she says (which I was guess from her behaviour that it was), this explains much about why she is the way she is now. Given when you know of her upbringing, does that change how you feel about her? Can you see why she might get so defensive, especially when things turn abusive (name-calling, etc)?

I'm not saying she's right to treat you that way, nor am I saying you're right for complaining about it. I've learned that it's not my place to judge others. I just think you need to understand her, as best as you can, before any progress can be made.

Post by **weemadando** » 2003-01-12 08:07pm

My mother can be very irritating, hell, exruciatingly so. Its one of the main reasons I moved to the other end of Tasmania when I was 17.

We get along well, but after a few days (a week at most) together we are inevitably at each others throats over a variety of issues.

I think a lot of it dates back to when my father left when I was about 9 or 10. My mother had always worked hard to support us, and then had to work even harder. As a side effect, from a very early age I had to be very independant and a consequence of that was that a lot of the "motherly influence" was lost.

Anyhow, it sounds like your mother is just exasperated with family and everything. Perhaps you should all try lightening the load on her (if she's working somewhere, do a lot of the housework that normally she'd have to deal with) as it sounds a lot like stress is the main problem.

TrailerParkJawa · Post by **TrailerParkJawa** » 2003-01-13 01:43am

My mom cant keep a steady job and blames the rest of the world for it. She has never, ever, taken a second to wonder if there is something she is doing wrong. I have a hard time being around her for too long, especially hard right now cause she is sleeping on my couch. Its completely exhausting to have a parent that always needs help and cant ever provide any in return.

Dont know what to to tell ya, except that blowing off steam helps.

Post by **Vympel** » 2003-01-13 02:03am

Don't get me started on my mother.

Complaint 1: "You're too fat! You're obese! Lose some weight!"

*Vympel loses 15kg and becomes too thin*

Complaint 2: "You're too thin! You're anorexic! Gain some weight!*

*Vympel starts eating normally again*

Complaint 3: "You don't exercise enough! Go to the gym!"

*Vympel gets gym membership, has been going non-stop for past few weeks*

Complaint 4: "You're too pale! Go get some sun on you!"

*Vympel starts spending time reading outside in the middle of the day*

Complaint 5: "Go out! You're always at home! Find a girlfriend!"

*Vympel STOPS FUCKING LISTENING.*

For one thing, meeting a partner is not fucking magic, and for another thing, I fucking hate clubbing. I am also constantly compared to other people's kids, unfavorably of course, in everything from looks, physique, social life, habits etc etc.

Post by **Ghost Rider** » 2003-01-13 02:22am

For me...it's been more dad than mom.

Odd though I mean my mom is near reborn Christian but has this bizarre view that she is right about so many things until I prove otherwise...don't ask.

Dad...we don't agree on much more because he felt I should've become a biochemist and I told him bluntly no...and that's not truly the half of the deal.

As for the problem you're having 2000AD...I say just try not to make her go defensive, when you talk to her. I understand that it's hard but seriously parents get defensive when children start analyzing their lives.

Johonebesus · Post by **Johonebesus** » 2003-01-13 03:15am

If your mother makes you that upset, then ignore her. Think of her as a landlord rather than a relative. Minimize your contact with her, and depersonalize your relationship with her in your heart. As long as she is contributing anything to your upkeep, you might feel some moral obligation to show her a tiny bit of respect or gratitude; however, if you are 18 you should be out on your own pretty soon, and then you can simply avoid her altogether.

If you have enough love for her that you cannot just write her off, then try to replace your anger with pity. When she goes off, imagine her in twenty years dying in a nursing home alone because she's driven her family away from her. Or you can just keep reminding yourself that she is sick in the head. What you need to do somehow is find a way not to take her attacks personally. It is doubtful that you can do anything to change her, so you must learn to live with it, or just stay away from her.

Falkenhorst · Post by **Falkenhorst** » 2003-01-13 03:18am

2000, get your dad to buck up and be a MAN. My Dad is the coolest guy I know, and I've never seen him cry, ever. Your dad should lay down the law and get your Mom doing something useful to take her mind off all this babyish whining.

Pcm979 · Post by **Pcm979** » 2003-01-13 08:18am

I have suddenly realised how amazingly well I get on with my mum.

Coaan · Post by **Coaan** » 2003-01-13 09:08am

Don't try and understand women....it'll just give you a headache and then they'll go and change on you..

Uh, no advice really

Post by **Zaia** » 2003-01-13 02:03pm

Coaan wrote:Don't try and understand women....it'll just give you a headache and then they'll go and change on you..

Uh, no advice really

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Stormbringer · Post by **Stormbringer** » 2003-01-13 02:06pm

Zaia wrote:I'm telling you boys, we're really not all that hard to get. *points to sig* In six easy lessons--at only $69 per lesson, it's a steal!--you TOO can decipher the undecipherable! Understand the incomprehesible! *salesperson grin* Sign up for "Kristin's School for the Reversal of Gender-Impairment" today and kiss those confusion headaches goodbye!! *cues flashing phone number* Call now!

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It's Official: My mother is a total bitch!

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