Jurisdiction (an execise in balance) - SG1/BtVS

[Satori]

I have frequently heard criticism of BtVS/SG-1 fics because so many of them give too much credit to the Scooby Gang and not enough to the SGC. So I decided to try and write an crossover in this genre that would be balanced, without wanking or lame-ifying either side.

Well, here goes.

Please forgive the less that stellar writing ability. I'm still learning.

Jurisdiction

~*~

Colonel Jack O'Neill glared at the blond man who wore the rank tabs of an Army Major on his fatigues. "Well?" he demanded.

"The higher-ups say this is your op," Major Riley Finn said calmly. "They also say that we're your back-up for any assault. The local cops can't be involved in anything beyond establishing a perimeter. I wouldn't trust their competency any further than that, to be honest. Furthermore, if this 'Seth' individual has had long enough to establish himself here, some of them may well be compromised."

O'Neill blinked. Finn was certainly taking this a lot better than he would of, had their situations been reversed. "Good point about the cops. Now, perhaps you'd like to tell me what your boys are trained for, that you got assigned to this Op?"

"Boys and girls," a voice behind him corrected. "Agent Samantha Finn," she introduced herself. "If you have no objections, I'll handle he police side of this operation."

Jack raised an eyebrow. "Yes, we're married," Samantha said, anticipating the question. "Riley's from the Army, and I'm from the FBI, so he 's in charge of the military side of our operations, and I handle law enforcement. Works out pretty well most of the time."

"I see." Taken by a sudden impulse, Jack motioned his 2IC over. As Carter stepped up behind him, he smirked. "Samantha Finn, meet Samantha Carter."

Carter merely gave him a glare, while Agent Finn rolled her eyes. "Well, it's a pleasure to meet <i>you</i>," The agent said, eliciting a grin from Carter and snort from Jack.

"To answer your earlier question, Colonel, my team recruits from both the military and law enforcement, taking skilled individuals with experience in, uhm, dealing with special circumstances. We're primarily trained for urban and unconventional terrain combat. We're a strike team, not a field force."

"Special circumstances?" O'Neil raised an eyebrow. "Oh, wait let me guess, classified."

"Need to know, sir. If we ever take you on one of our Ops, we'll make sure you know what you're dealing with, but it seems we're playing on your turf."

"Wait, you mean, you've been briefed on us?"

The man had the grace to look embarrassed. "No sir, but the brass wants you to. Brief us, that is. We have G8 security clearance, and I really hate going in blind. Hmn, for that matter, we may need to brief you on our side of the Black Ops sandbox anyway; there may be some overlap. How long has this 'Seth' guy been around?"

Jack blinked. G6 or higher was required to be briefed on the SGC, and his own Clearance was only a cut above Riley's, a G9. Whatever had the major been up to that required a G8 clearance? "Carter, you want to handle this?"

"Daniel does the speech better." Carter grinned back at him.

"Oooh, a speech." Agent Finn grinned widely. "Just tell me that it doesn't begin with 'The world is older than you know . . .' "

That earned her bewildered looks from the Air Force Officers, and a chuckle from her husband.

"Actually," said Carter, "That's not so far off."

Both Finn's paled, and Sam wondered what they knew.

Ch. 2 to come if anyone is interested. Or you can just read all that i have up at TTH

[LadyTevar]

I read what you have up at TTH.

You jump around a lot, leaving a lot of the story up to the reader's imaginations. If I'd not seen the episode in question, I'd have no clue what was going on. If you post it here, you may want to add in what's missing.

[Xon]

I want something mentioning the archaeological evidence that humanity has been kicking around Earth as the dominant life-form for over 5 million years and has been around the milkyway for ~60 million years (they dont know that one yet, but I blame the Ancients for the death fo the dinos )

[Satori]

I read what you have up at TTH.

You jump around a lot, leaving a lot of the story up to the reader's imaginations. If I'd not seen the episode in question, I'd have no clue what was going on. If you post it here, you may want to add in what's missing.

That was intentional. I prefer not recapping what people have already seen.
I think i gave enough info for people to get the gist of what is going on.
But info for those who have not seen "seth" can be found here:
http://www.gateworld.net/sg1/s3/302.shtml

It's not an action story, it's a character interaction story, showing how i think a meeting of the two verses might go. It's a deliberate response to "super scoobies rescue hapless SG-1" I really want to know if you guys think I have managed to balance the story so both sides seem reasonably competent.

Xon: there will be some exchange of information in an upcoming chapter, but both sides are keeping secrets and are NOT going full disclosure at this time. Note that i have arranged it so that Riley's team never sees Seth using a hand device or any the Goa'uld tech, and have no reason to suspect aliens.

[Mr. Coffee]

"Boys and girls," a voice behind him corrected. "Agent Samantha Finn," she introduced herself. "If you have no objections, I'll handle he police side of this operation."

Jack raised an eyebrow. "Yes, we're married," Samantha said, anticipating the question. "Riley's from the Army, and I'm from the FBI, so he 's in charge of the military side of our operations, and I handle law enforcement. Works out pretty well most of the time."

Sniff Sniff... I looooooove the smell of potential Mary Sue in the morning.

Other than that OBVIOUS bit... It's easy to read.

[Satori]

"Boys and girls," a voice behind him corrected. "Agent Samantha Finn," she introduced herself. "If you have no objections, I'll handle he police side of this operation."

Jack raised an eyebrow. "Yes, we're married," Samantha said, anticipating the question. "Riley's from the Army, and I'm from the FBI, so he 's in charge of the military side of our operations, and I handle law enforcement. Works out pretty well most of the time."

Sniff Sniff... I looooooove the smell of potential Mary Sue in the morning.

Other than that OBVIOUS bit... It's easy to read.

What precisely is wrong with that bit? I'd love advice on how to make it better.

[Xon]

Sniff Sniff... I looooooove the smell of potential Mary Sue in the morning.

That is actually a canon BtVS character.

Not there is a huge amounts of difference at times.

[Majin Gojira]

Samantha Finn was actually designed to be loathed in the Mary Sue fasion because of the role she played in Season 6, so the reaction is to be expected.

Oh, and I never read shit on Twisting due to personal boycott.

It's the devil, I say! The DEVIL!

[Satori]

Samantha Finn was actually designed to be loathed in the Mary Sue fasion because of the role she played in Season 6, so the reaction is to be expected.

Oh, and I never read shit on Twisting due to personal boycott.

It's the devil, I say! The DEVIL!

TTH still beats the Pit of voles, er fanfiction.net not that that's saying much.

And no one actually answered my question. *sadface* How is my balance? Does one side feel wanked/nerfed?

Oh, and since TTH is apparently on the allergy list for some, here are Chapters 2 & 3


Chapter 2

~*~

Colonel O’Neill glared at the blond Major. “Sewers”

“Yes, sir, that’s what they said. Agent Finn was a very comprehensive plan for securing possible underground escapes. I get the impression that they’ve done this before.”

“Why didn’t we think of sewers, Carter? It would be in character for Setesh to have an escape route.”

“Probably because we’re not used to fighting Goa’uld in modern cities.”

Jack sighed. “Anything else? “

“They wanted to know if beheading the host kills the Goa’uld. I had to tell them that we never tested that. Though given what happened with . . .” Sam hesitated.

“With Kowalsky,” Jack finished for her. “It’s okay to say it, Carter. What, were they planning to cut Seth’s head off with an axe or something?”

“I believe I saw a pair of Tomahawks among the weapons Riley Finn’s teams were preparing,” Teal’c noted.

“Oh, fer crying out loud.”

“He’s not kidding Jack,” Daniel put in, “They also had several Kukri’s, a Japanese Katana, and a stash of what look like Roman Pilum.”

“Not to mention an anti-tank rocket and a flame thrower. They certainly like to have an eclectic selection of weapons,” Cater added. “I asked one of them about it, and all he said was that they liked to prepare for every contingency.”

“Like what, their guns suddenly not working?” Jack was skeptical.

“My impression is that they have encountered foes against which firearms are not effective,” Teal’c said. “There are benefits to melee weapons. I believe the statement is “Cold Metal does not run out of ammunition.”

“What could they be fighting that doesn’t mind bullets but is vulnerable to swords?” Daniel wanted to know.

~*~

“Am I the only one who thinks we haven’t been told the full story?” Samantha Finn wanted to know.

“No, ma’am you’re just the only one who isn’t used to being a fungus,” Explained one of the soldiers, a veteran everyone called Silver John for his insistence on bringing musical instruments on every mission.

“Fungus?”

“Kept in the dark and fed bull shi- oh, sorry Ma’am.”

“I can handle a little profanity, Ballard.” Agent Finn’s expression was wry. “Do you think that the anti-possession tokens we’re using will protect us, Eva?

“I don’t think so,” the unit Shaman said, “they’re intended to keep out invading spirits, not actual parasites that link right into your brain. I can probably set up a detection cantrip though. We’ll know if any of our personnel are compromised, but only after the fact.” Seeing the unhappy faces around her, she added, defensively, “Just a Hedge Witch here. You’d need a much heavier hitter to do a ward that’ll stop a physical parasite.” While Shaman was the formal MOS for all magic specialists in the teams, most of them disliked the designation and used terminology that fit their practice.

“At least he have the sewers closed off,” Riley said, trying to end the briefing on a positive note. “I really hope Seth does try escaping that way, I want to see how the new traps work.” The grins from his team told him that his words had the desired effect. “Okay, move out, we’ve a job to do.”


Chapter 3

~*~

Jen Forrestal bit her lip and forced her self to remain inside her vehicle. Her sister Claire was in there, damnit, and she wanted to be in on whatever it was that was going down in the walled compound. But she knew that the best hope for her sister was for everyone to do their jobs right, and that meant that she would have to remain on station here, outside, like a good little police officer.

“We need you to maintain the perimeter and keep an eye out for any suspects that may attempt to flee the compound. We will direct all of the cult adherents who are not wanted for questioning to the clearing on the north side; those of you there will maintain order among them and keep them under watch. I’m aware some of you have family and friends in the compound, but please understand that the people we extract from the compound will likely be disoriented and confused, and it is for their own health and safety that we want them kept in custody until we can arrange debriefing and psychological assessment for all of them. Please do not touch or engage in conversation with any of them; you’ll have time for reunions after their well-being has been assured. While we do not believe that it will be an issue in this case, some of them may become violent, so exercise all caution in restraining them. We’re assigning some of our personnel to supervise this, so please comply with their requests.” The woman who called herself Agent Finn had been calm and collected, projecting a confident and competent air. “Are there any questions?”

There had been none. It had seemed to be simple enough, then, but the waiting and uncertainty was gnawing at Jen. She checked her watch yet again, and sighed. Another minute of this and she’d- The thought never completed as a piecing scream rent the air. Crap. She scrambled out of the driver’s seat, drawing her sidearm and taking up a position behind the car door.

~*~

Samantha Carter frantically groped for the hand device as she saw Seth trying to force his way into the fleeing crowd, tearing off his vestments as he did. Suppressing a shudder, she fit the device to her hand, and sent a low power pulse of force at the Goa’uld. Carter winced at the screams from the cultists caught in the fringe of the blast, but the attack worked. Seth, realizing he had been made, abandoned his attempt to sneak out, and charged Carter instead. She rolled aside, and tried to shoot again, but the Goa’uld was fast, snatching the hand device from her, and yanking her to her feet. “You shall pay for this” Seth hissed, and threw her into a wall.

~*~

Samantha Finn frantically waved her arms in the air at the police officers, to no effect as they were distracted by the commotion, and were drifting away from their posts. Muttering something unkind about the evolutionary ancestors of all police officers, Agent Finn hurried over to where the local police chief was. “Get your officers back to their posts,” she snapped. The Police Chief, a portly man in his fifties, wilted under her angry stare, and immediately got on the radio, calling his officers back to their assigned stations. Finn sighed and went back to the spot she had picked for an optimum view of the grounds.

______


I hope I haven't given too much time to Samantha Finn, but seeing as she's staying out of the combat, I need to show her involvement somehow....

[Majin Gojira]

TTH still beats the Pit of voles, er fanfiction.net not that that's saying much.

Not when the owner of the site has a "No flames" rule yet she herself cannot tell the difference between concrit and a flame.

And throws repeated tantrusm, and believed for 5 years that BtVS and HP magic were Interchangable.

I'd rather sift through crap than be subserviant to a fool.

That and their formating and organization just plain sucks.

And no one actually answered my question. *sadface* Does how is my balance? Does one side feel wanked/nerfed?

Couldn't tell from the first chapter, but so far so good.

I'll read the rest tomorrow. Very tired and working on RPG post on a BtVS/Massive Crossover AU Suicide Squad...

[Satori]

TTH still beats the Pit of voles, er fanfiction.net not that that's saying much.

Not when the owner of the site has a "No flames" rule yet she herself cannot tell the difference between concrit and a flame.

And throws repeated tantrusm, and believed for 5 years that BtVS and HP magic were Interchangable.

I'd rather sift through crap than be subserviant to a fool.

You know, i really pay little attention to the site owner, unless she does something that impacts my writing. Don't really see how her sillyness over magic systems is relevant to the site's quality

That and their formating and organization just plain sucks.

huh. I always preferred TTH formatting. larger font, smoother color scheme, and most importantly, a "whole story at once" option, for when you want to save a story to HD. That last one automatically makes TTH better than half the fanfiction sites out there in my opinion. But that's a personal thing.

And no one actually answered my question. *sadface* Does how is my balance? Does one side feel wanked/nerfed?

Couldn't tell from the first chapter, but so far so good.

I'll read the rest tomorrow. Very tired and working on RPG post on a BtVS/Massive Crossover AU Suicide Squad...

Oh, i have more chapters.

here is 4-5


Chapter 4

~*~

Evangeline Matteo checked her weapon again nervously. “You think anyone will be coming our way?”

“Geez, Eva, you’re as jumpy as a cornered rat,” John Ballard said. The veteran army sergeant was alert for trouble, as always, but he displayed little of the nervous energy his partner was showing. “We’ve been in far worse situations before. What’s giving you the wig?”

“Those were out in the rainforest. I don’t like closed in spaces. Especially bad-smelling closed in spaces. Like say, sewers” Eva glanced at the charmed talisman she had affixed to recessed doorway they had identified as likely being connected to Seth’s compound. Nothing. “When we get out of this place, I’m demanding hazard pay,” the witch announced. “This reek has got to constitute a Geneva Convention violation or something.”

Ballard briefly considered telling her that the Geneva Convention only applied to acts undertaken in a war, but decided not to argue with the increasingly testy woman.

~*~

“Carter, are you alright?” Jack asked his 2iC.

“I’ll be fine sir.”

O’Neill looked dubious. “Teal’c, you and Carter get outside and check the fan-club for anything weird. Daniel, with me. Which way did the snake go?” Carter pointed, and Jack dashed off down the corridor, Daniel in tow.

Massaging the sore back of her head, Carter followed her other team member out the front. Riley was waiting for them. So was his team medic. “I need to check on the civilians,” she started, but like all doctors, the medic was a petty tyrant, and refused to let Sam go anywhere until she had been poked, prodded and patched up.

“So, Murray, was it?” Riley said, “What are we checking the civilians for, exactly? Those incubation pouches you mentioned earlier?” The two men walked off towards the clearing where the cultist had been sequestered.

“It is unlikely that Seth has implanted any of his adherents” The Jaffa replied. “However, we cannot discount the possibility. It is probable that most of them have been exposed to a chemical compound which makes them very susceptible to suggestion, and they may still be suffering it’s effects.”

“Great. Hopefully the cops paid attention to Sam’s briefing and minimized conversation, or we may see some interesting behavior.”

“Indeed.”

~*~

Eva was looking the wrong way when the talisman flashed green, but a gesture from John had her taking cover, even as he trained his Blaster on the door. There was a yelp of pain from the other side, as the trap the talisman had activated sent a jolt of electricity that should have stunned a normal human to whoever was opening the door. After a moment, the door slid open. The air force team clearly hadn’t been kidding about the increased physical abilities of a person bonded with the parasite.

At first glance, Seth seemed to be unremarkable looking, an impression quickly dispelled by the glow that was now coming from his eyes. Glowing eyes were usually a bad sign. John shot him. Seth staggered, and collapsed against the wall behind him.




Chapter 5

~*~

Whatever the parasite was, it was impressive. The cult leader was still conscious and moving, albeit very sluggishly, trying to leverage himself up along the wall he had fallen against. John's blaster, a left-over from the failed Initiative project, was a fairly heavy hitting weapon, but it had a disappointing rate of fire, and he wasn't confident of it’s ability to stop the creature in another shot. Ballard made a snap decision, and swapped it for his MP-5. "Freeze."

The Seth opened his mouth as if to say something, but instead, something lunged out of it's mouth- and promptly fell limp as a wave of bluish energy washed over host and parasite alike. A moment later, Eva's shotgun boomed, the flechette round tearing bloody chunks out of the host's face and ripping the snake-like parasite hanging out of it's mouth to shreds.

"Never count a Goa'uld out unless you're damn sure it and it’s host are both dead or unconscious," said Colonel O'Neill, as he lowered his weapon, a black glossy S-shaped device. "Damn things like to play possum and wait for you to get close so they can emigrate. You wouldn't like having a parasite wrapped around your brainstem."

"Ew," was Eva's reply to that, as she emerged from where she had been crouching. "You uh, didn’t want it alive, did you? Because I think I just killed it."

"Not a problem," said Daniel Jackson, from behind O'Neill, already having produced a pair of plastic gloves and a Ziplock bag. "Having a live one around always makes me nervous anyway." He moved over to the body and began scooping snake-parasite bits into the bag. "The scientists will just have to make do with the remains."

"I think you killed the host too," O'Neill observed. "But the shock of all he's been hit with would have killed him off in a few more minutes without the snake healing him anyway." He sighed. "We can come back later with a body bag. Let's get out of this cesspit."

~*~

"Smooth there, with the 'he would have died anyway', Jack" Daniel muttered, as the two SGC personnel lead the way back up through Seth's escape tunnel.

"She probably put him out of his misery. And he may well have died anyway," Jack said. People who had been host to Goa'uld for long generally did not find the joining beneficial to their mental health; most Goa'uld qualified as psychologically ill by human standards, and having a raving megalomaniac in you head was not something anyone would call healthy. "No need for her to have a death on her conscience. She saw a teammate under threat and reacted. The Goa'uld forced her hand."

Behind them, the two demon hunters were having a hushed conversation of their own. "Did you see that weapon he had?" John asked "I sure wouldn't mind having one of those. At a guess, it beats my blaster hands down, and is more compact to boot."

"Yeah, now the question is where did he get it. It looks rather stylized. Definitely not US manufacture. You think maybe it’s mystical in origin?" Evangeline theorized. "It's not unlike some spells I've heard of."

[Majin Gojira]

You know, i really pay little attention to the site owner, unless she does something that impacts my writing. Don't really see how her sillyness over magic systems is relevant to the site's quality

Back when it was much smaller, I ended up accidently reviewing a story of hers negativly.

And payed for it with my membership.

The magic system thing is just compounding the level of 'idiot' she presents.

huh. I always preferred TTH formatting. larger font, smoother color scheme, and most importantly, a "whole story at once" option, for when you want to save a story to HD. That last one automatically makes TTH better than half the fanfiction sites out there in my opinion. But that's a personal thing.

Must have changed a lot since I last saw it. None of those features were available back in the day.

I wonder if the crappy font remains...

But the main 'formating' I was complaining about was th "stories organized by focal character" thing. Not a fan of the mentality needed to encouraged. Like a lot of the internet, it promotes hyper-specialization. If the story is good, I usually won't care who the focal character is.

But, then again, I consider most shipping within crossovers to be utter shit.

As for the story, I have to echo lady tevlar's assessment. Even though I was familiar with the incident in question, I still don't think it's a good idea for the author to assume the reader knows something.