Spice?
oh wait that turns everyone's eyes blue and makes them sorta religious fanatics...
Firewarriors Guide to the Galaxy (40K, Not too serious)
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The Yosemite Bear
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That is not dead which can eternal lie. Or something like that. I hate writers block, but let's hope the wait was worth it.
Chapter 13
The firewarriors guide has this to say about fried bacon:
Fried bacon is simply humanity's greatest invention ever. End of article.
***********************************************************************
Mur'Phon was a fervent believer of the guide in that respect. Back in the town they had blown up when he had discovered that the general store had quite a bit of bacon he had actually squealed. Thankfully nobody else had been there to hear it at the time, but right now he was frankly for the first time since he had arrived in this sanity-forsaken system content. Bacon made everything better.
It was a little known fact that Tau in general and the fire caste branch of the species in particular found the taste of very thin slices of fried pig (Rare animal at best these days) meat incredibly tasty. So much that the ethereal caste had considered making it a controlled substance, but the scary twitching in high ranking fire caste members in the room when they suggested it had discouraged them from actually doing it.
It was notable that whenever a member of the fire caste was in charge of an expansion fleet any planet with pigs were top priority. Thankfully nobody in the Imperium had caught onto that one yet. Or perhaps it should be said to be fortunately as Firewarriors tended to have an adverse reaction to threatening their bacon.
Seeing Mur'Phon sitting there with a serene smile on his face slowly chewing the bacon was unsettling to say the least.
"His expression is starting to scare me." Miku said
"I cannot say it's reassuring for me either." Gordonius concurred.
Miku picked up one of the bacon slices and held it close to her nose for a moment before recoiling in revulsion.
"How can he eat this!? It smells so..." She searched for words. "Greasy, fatty, I don't know what best describes it."
Farther into the cave Galiana half agreed. Though as hungry as she was she'd gladly have eaten it right now. Thankfully she wouldn't have to endure it for long. Surely her kin would send a rescue effort soon.
********************************************************************
The craftworld had an aura of sadness and regret that clashed constantly with the elegant smooth design of everything on it.
Several Farseers were sitting around what looked like an extremely elaborate chess board. Several levels and it looked to a human mind incomplete as to really perceive this board you needed to be able to see it in multiple timeframes at once as well as sense the psychic emissions from the board. Only then would it start making sense. And even then it made regicide look like tic-tac-toe in comparison. Tic-tac-toe for retarded children that is.
The farseers were in a quick and not too important debate. Well unless you were stranded on a planet in Tau captivity that is.
"I forsee that Farseer Galiana has become too much of a detriment for us to afford have her in our midst." Translation: She had gone batshit insane and they’d rather not have her closer than they had to.
"I concur. We should leave her to her fate down on the planet"
"I concur as well."
"Then it's settled. So whose turn is it?" The other farseers went back to their little game
“Mine. I move this burglar gang into his neighbourhood.”
“Not too impressive a move is it?”
“It is when the Chaos force hits them next year and thanks to the burglary he can’t afford the emergency tax the governor implements so he’s forcefully drafted to go up against Slaaneshi chaos marines.”
The game essentially boiled down to each player taking a human and the one who could make him suffer the most won. The game itself could last for generations. Often the human who lost had his entire life planned out decades in advance to be the worst possible. They weren’t too picky about collateral to the people around their targets either.
It was rumoured among the eldar that the orks had been steered to Armageddon as a move in that game to fuck over a single citizen of the planet.
Yes the Eldar were really huge dicks.
********************************************************************
Yes they would not leave her in the hands of these inferiors. That much was for certain. Galiana felt reassurance flow through her.
Unfortunately for her the bacon in the pan was winding down. Which meant the content tau was about to go back being the paranoid selfish mercenary tau firmly convinced the universe was out to get him.
He grabbed the final slice, stared at it for fifteen seconds. Then slowly put it into his mouth chewing as slow as possible to make the experience last.
Then, all too soon it was over. The Bacon was gone.
He put his helmet back on, slung the rifle back over his shoulder and stood up. Happytime was over. HorribleDeathAroundEveryCornertime was about to begin.
“Okay. I’m not going to bother spending hours interrogating you. So you get one final chance. Talk or I’m getting creative.”
Galiana looked at him with contempt, but didn’t say a word. She would not break.
“All right then. I’ll respect your resolve. Congratulations bitch. You’ve been promoted from prisoner to human shield. May your career in this field leave many Tau named Mur’Phon unscathed as you get brutally killed in their place.”
He hauled Galiana brutally to her feet. She could see that Miku winced as she stood behind him.
“Isn’t that too much? I mean sure she wanted to kill us, but can we really justify doing it in return?”
“Yes.” Both males in the cave said in unison.
“But, isn’t it wrong to stoop to their level?”
“Why?” Mur’Phon asked genuinely confused.
“Just... Well...” Miku wasn’t really that well equipped to debate this so she just shut up and attempted another glare at Mur’Phon. With heavy emphasis on attempted. If anything the glares were getting even less vicious and Mur’Phon half expected feather winged puppies to start flying out of her butt.
Still. He couldn’t worry about that. She wasn’t exactly likely to go traitorous.
To Mur’Phon it was a given that this cave housed something horrible that was best left buried, but given that big purple thing prowling outside they didn’t have much choice.
He could only trust in his wits, his weaponry and his paranoid to get him out alive. Oh and perhaps his comrades might save his ass too, but relying on that was folly.
************************************************************************
“That Tau blew up an entire village.”
“Well half a village ma’am. And it stopped the orks cold. And we aren’t even sure it was the Tau. The reports aren’t sure.”
“No human in their right mind would send their own people to death like that.”
“Er... Isn’t that the definition of what the Imperial Guard is meant for?”
“That’s different!”
The advisor was trying to compilate data on the Tau’s movements. Which was easier said than done really. Just mark out a report of a major destructive fight or event and you were likely to find trace of him on the location. Then it was just putting it in time line and you had his travel. By now they had people standing by to investigate any disaster reported ASAP. So far it hadn’t given them any false leads.
“The guard are great and self sacrificing heroes of humanity who o their duty gladly with no doubt. Commissars are a nasty heretical myth put forward by traitors to lessen their greatness as it scares them.”
The man who had reported started edging closer to the door. He was a member of the commissariat on Liaison duty and when people of power started denying your existence when you stood in front of them he considered it time to leave. Yes he was one of Ciaphas Cain’s students.
This was why he was beside the door and out of sight when it burst open and a man with a laspistol in hand burst in.
“Death to the false emperor! For chaos!”
He raised his gun, but the commissar reacted instantly giving him a shove that pushed his gun to the side so it missed its aiming point with disastrous results.
You see the assassination wasn’t meant to succeed. It was meant to scare them, but somebody that stupid in the chain of command was a blessing. So when he pushed the gun aside from the aiming point to the left of the aide, he in avertedly pushed it into line with her.
The lasbolt blew her head up like an overripe melon and red mist covered the room momentarily.
“Whoops.” both assassin and commissar said in unison before looking oddly at each other. The commissar then raised his fist and punched the chaos cultist hard enough to knock him out.
The end results would be affected quite a bit by this turn of events, the immediate result was that the hunt for Mur’phon was now going to be overseen by somebody who didn’t have blind spots you could fly a squadron of blackstone fortresses in busy battle with a full on ork Waaagh fleet through. This was going to make serious trouble for our blue friend.
*****************************************************************
Back in the caves Galiana was amusing herself by mentally envisioning Mur’Phon being brutally killed. Literally every one of her visions showed that fate for him, of course that didn’t match reality as she had painfully learned by now. But she was allowed to dream right?
This was how she managed to miss that the air was slowly getting a green tinged light.
It was only several minutes later anyone started realizing something was wrong.
“Um... Is the air supposed to be green?” Miku asked.
“Hang on. Let me turn off blacksun filter for a moment. Why yes you are right. It is green. Nifty.”
“That is not ‘nifty’ as you put it. This is a place of the great enemy. We are all in horrible danger.” Galiana interjected. She had finally realized what was going on.
“Listen lady. Given how things have gone so far we are in horrible danger if we were trying to just go to the bathroom. You are going to have to be more specific than that”
“Your simple mind cannot comprehend the situation you find yourself in and in how much danger you truly are.”
“Ah yes. The classic ‘Making the situation worse through excessive arrogance’. Well my only solace is that whatever it is down there which is going to take its turn at horribly killing me. You are going to be there being killed right next to me. That gives me a warm fuzzy feeling.”
“If it means ending your existence my death is worth the prize.”
Mur’Phon was about to retort when a horrible sinking sensation hit him.
“Miku can I have the guide back for a moment please?”
Miku in mild shock from him using the word please just handed it over wordlessly.
He seemed to browse it for a minute then suddenly he handed it back, walked over to Galiana and slugged her in the stomach as hard as he could.
“You keep your mouth shut from now on except specific vital stuff!” The scary part was that he didn’t sound angry. He sounded terrified.
Miku glanced down on the pad on the article open. It was general travel through adverse conditions chapter. Specifically a paragraph that spoke of the probable fate if you happened to travel along with somebody of the opposite sex and you hated each other’s guts.
“Eh?”
*********************************************************************
Travelling through adverse conditions: Companions.
There are two main types of companion. Those that hate you and those that don’t.
Those that don’t are easy to deal with. There is no such thing as a useless companion. Even if the use is merely bait while you run. Work with them and you both got better odds of survival
It’s when you run into ones that hate you it’ll be interesting.
Word of advice: If you can. Waste them the moment you get an opportunity. If they are officially your enemy this goes double as being friendly with the enemy tends to lead to court martial followed shortly by semi automatic pulse fire.
Things get really messy when they are the opposite sex.
While I have never experienced this myself every story I have come across of two people of opposite sexes who hate each other being forced to get along for an extended period of time has pretty much always resulted in Romance. And in more than one case across species as well.
From a purely scientific viewpoint it’s annoying that the Ethereals punish that sort of thing by immediate execution. It would be interesting to see how that’d play out in a long term relationship.
From a tactical viewpoint though it’s never wise to piss them off without alibi and deniability so that sort of thing better wait.
If you find yourself forced to travel with for an extended period somebody of the opposite sex who hates you and you hate them. Give in to your hatred and waste them now. Ammo is cheap, your life isn’t.
*******************************************************************
The green light was all pervasive now. Miku was getting jittery. The light unnerved her on some primal level. Which was why she appreciated having Galiana on her shoulder much more than she’d admit.
The Farseer didn’t seem happy about it, but after that punch to her gut she hadn’t been able to keep the pace Mur’Phon demanded so she didn’t have much choice
“You should try to be a bit nicer you know. Mur’Phon isn’t so bad once he stops thinking you are about to kill him any second now. He’s just very frightened of everything.”
“The feelings of...” Galiana had to cough for a moment. “The feelings of lesser beings are beneath me.” She wanted to attempt some quiet dignity right now, but she had to get this damn retarded dark one to shut up first.
“Why do people insist on that? If we could just all accept eachother the universe would be a much better place.”
“You are a disgrace for our race.”
“See. That’s the kind of thing you should stop saying. It hurts people when you say that.”
“You are incapable of understanding what is at stake here.” Sure she wanted to maintain quiet dignity, but no Eldar worth their salt would pass up a chance to put down a perceived lesser
“Sure I do. There’s some hidden threat on this planet which is a threat to the whole galaxy if it goes unchecked. You were pretty clear on that.”
Galiana couldn’t help but gape. Perhaps she had underestimated this deviant.
“What? You did say so up there. I’m sure the boys picked up on it too.” Or perhaps not.
“You are aware they don’t have the same senses you do right?”
“They don’t? That explains a lot actually. Like why Mur’Phon didn’t see that cave with those am-something things in it before walking over it....”
Galiana was cursing the gods for putting her in this predicament.
“...Or why Gordonius though Mur’Phon might not see him when he tried to steal his gun a few nights back.”
“Why do you have to be so stupid?! You admit the galaxy is at risk, and yet you still care about these insignificant little details?” She couldn’t take it anymore. Quiet dignity her ass.
“Because if it may end at any moment. Isn’t that all the more reason to enjoy life and live while you can at the moments you can’t do anything about it? Caring about those and knowing the gravity of the situation isn’t mutually exclusive you know. You shouldn’t always assume the worst about people. That’s what got you into this situation.”
Why did the universe persist in taunting her?! Just when she thought she had this girl (She couldn’t get herself to consider her a woman) figured out she had to go and say something deep.
What had she done to piss off the gods?
Suddenly Mur’Phon held up his hands for silence.
There were quiet metallic noises. Kinda like slow footsteps of metal feet.
Mur’Phon peered around the corner.
“Ah crap.”
“What?” Miku whispered.
“I’m not really surprised, but it’s still not pleasant to see when we have to get past them.”
“The great enemy...”
“Necrons. One of the few aliens I know off that hasn’t tried to kill me yet at some point. I should’ve known they’d want their turn.”
*End chapter 13*
Chapter 13
The firewarriors guide has this to say about fried bacon:
Fried bacon is simply humanity's greatest invention ever. End of article.
***********************************************************************
Mur'Phon was a fervent believer of the guide in that respect. Back in the town they had blown up when he had discovered that the general store had quite a bit of bacon he had actually squealed. Thankfully nobody else had been there to hear it at the time, but right now he was frankly for the first time since he had arrived in this sanity-forsaken system content. Bacon made everything better.
It was a little known fact that Tau in general and the fire caste branch of the species in particular found the taste of very thin slices of fried pig (Rare animal at best these days) meat incredibly tasty. So much that the ethereal caste had considered making it a controlled substance, but the scary twitching in high ranking fire caste members in the room when they suggested it had discouraged them from actually doing it.
It was notable that whenever a member of the fire caste was in charge of an expansion fleet any planet with pigs were top priority. Thankfully nobody in the Imperium had caught onto that one yet. Or perhaps it should be said to be fortunately as Firewarriors tended to have an adverse reaction to threatening their bacon.
Seeing Mur'Phon sitting there with a serene smile on his face slowly chewing the bacon was unsettling to say the least.
"His expression is starting to scare me." Miku said
"I cannot say it's reassuring for me either." Gordonius concurred.
Miku picked up one of the bacon slices and held it close to her nose for a moment before recoiling in revulsion.
"How can he eat this!? It smells so..." She searched for words. "Greasy, fatty, I don't know what best describes it."
Farther into the cave Galiana half agreed. Though as hungry as she was she'd gladly have eaten it right now. Thankfully she wouldn't have to endure it for long. Surely her kin would send a rescue effort soon.
********************************************************************
The craftworld had an aura of sadness and regret that clashed constantly with the elegant smooth design of everything on it.
Several Farseers were sitting around what looked like an extremely elaborate chess board. Several levels and it looked to a human mind incomplete as to really perceive this board you needed to be able to see it in multiple timeframes at once as well as sense the psychic emissions from the board. Only then would it start making sense. And even then it made regicide look like tic-tac-toe in comparison. Tic-tac-toe for retarded children that is.
The farseers were in a quick and not too important debate. Well unless you were stranded on a planet in Tau captivity that is.
"I forsee that Farseer Galiana has become too much of a detriment for us to afford have her in our midst." Translation: She had gone batshit insane and they’d rather not have her closer than they had to.
"I concur. We should leave her to her fate down on the planet"
"I concur as well."
"Then it's settled. So whose turn is it?" The other farseers went back to their little game
“Mine. I move this burglar gang into his neighbourhood.”
“Not too impressive a move is it?”
“It is when the Chaos force hits them next year and thanks to the burglary he can’t afford the emergency tax the governor implements so he’s forcefully drafted to go up against Slaaneshi chaos marines.”
The game essentially boiled down to each player taking a human and the one who could make him suffer the most won. The game itself could last for generations. Often the human who lost had his entire life planned out decades in advance to be the worst possible. They weren’t too picky about collateral to the people around their targets either.
It was rumoured among the eldar that the orks had been steered to Armageddon as a move in that game to fuck over a single citizen of the planet.
Yes the Eldar were really huge dicks.
********************************************************************
Yes they would not leave her in the hands of these inferiors. That much was for certain. Galiana felt reassurance flow through her.
Unfortunately for her the bacon in the pan was winding down. Which meant the content tau was about to go back being the paranoid selfish mercenary tau firmly convinced the universe was out to get him.
He grabbed the final slice, stared at it for fifteen seconds. Then slowly put it into his mouth chewing as slow as possible to make the experience last.
Then, all too soon it was over. The Bacon was gone.
He put his helmet back on, slung the rifle back over his shoulder and stood up. Happytime was over. HorribleDeathAroundEveryCornertime was about to begin.
“Okay. I’m not going to bother spending hours interrogating you. So you get one final chance. Talk or I’m getting creative.”
Galiana looked at him with contempt, but didn’t say a word. She would not break.
“All right then. I’ll respect your resolve. Congratulations bitch. You’ve been promoted from prisoner to human shield. May your career in this field leave many Tau named Mur’Phon unscathed as you get brutally killed in their place.”
He hauled Galiana brutally to her feet. She could see that Miku winced as she stood behind him.
“Isn’t that too much? I mean sure she wanted to kill us, but can we really justify doing it in return?”
“Yes.” Both males in the cave said in unison.
“But, isn’t it wrong to stoop to their level?”
“Why?” Mur’Phon asked genuinely confused.
“Just... Well...” Miku wasn’t really that well equipped to debate this so she just shut up and attempted another glare at Mur’Phon. With heavy emphasis on attempted. If anything the glares were getting even less vicious and Mur’Phon half expected feather winged puppies to start flying out of her butt.
Still. He couldn’t worry about that. She wasn’t exactly likely to go traitorous.
To Mur’Phon it was a given that this cave housed something horrible that was best left buried, but given that big purple thing prowling outside they didn’t have much choice.
He could only trust in his wits, his weaponry and his paranoid to get him out alive. Oh and perhaps his comrades might save his ass too, but relying on that was folly.
************************************************************************
“That Tau blew up an entire village.”
“Well half a village ma’am. And it stopped the orks cold. And we aren’t even sure it was the Tau. The reports aren’t sure.”
“No human in their right mind would send their own people to death like that.”
“Er... Isn’t that the definition of what the Imperial Guard is meant for?”
“That’s different!”
The advisor was trying to compilate data on the Tau’s movements. Which was easier said than done really. Just mark out a report of a major destructive fight or event and you were likely to find trace of him on the location. Then it was just putting it in time line and you had his travel. By now they had people standing by to investigate any disaster reported ASAP. So far it hadn’t given them any false leads.
“The guard are great and self sacrificing heroes of humanity who o their duty gladly with no doubt. Commissars are a nasty heretical myth put forward by traitors to lessen their greatness as it scares them.”
The man who had reported started edging closer to the door. He was a member of the commissariat on Liaison duty and when people of power started denying your existence when you stood in front of them he considered it time to leave. Yes he was one of Ciaphas Cain’s students.
This was why he was beside the door and out of sight when it burst open and a man with a laspistol in hand burst in.
“Death to the false emperor! For chaos!”
He raised his gun, but the commissar reacted instantly giving him a shove that pushed his gun to the side so it missed its aiming point with disastrous results.
You see the assassination wasn’t meant to succeed. It was meant to scare them, but somebody that stupid in the chain of command was a blessing. So when he pushed the gun aside from the aiming point to the left of the aide, he in avertedly pushed it into line with her.
The lasbolt blew her head up like an overripe melon and red mist covered the room momentarily.
“Whoops.” both assassin and commissar said in unison before looking oddly at each other. The commissar then raised his fist and punched the chaos cultist hard enough to knock him out.
The end results would be affected quite a bit by this turn of events, the immediate result was that the hunt for Mur’phon was now going to be overseen by somebody who didn’t have blind spots you could fly a squadron of blackstone fortresses in busy battle with a full on ork Waaagh fleet through. This was going to make serious trouble for our blue friend.
*****************************************************************
Back in the caves Galiana was amusing herself by mentally envisioning Mur’Phon being brutally killed. Literally every one of her visions showed that fate for him, of course that didn’t match reality as she had painfully learned by now. But she was allowed to dream right?
This was how she managed to miss that the air was slowly getting a green tinged light.
It was only several minutes later anyone started realizing something was wrong.
“Um... Is the air supposed to be green?” Miku asked.
“Hang on. Let me turn off blacksun filter for a moment. Why yes you are right. It is green. Nifty.”
“That is not ‘nifty’ as you put it. This is a place of the great enemy. We are all in horrible danger.” Galiana interjected. She had finally realized what was going on.
“Listen lady. Given how things have gone so far we are in horrible danger if we were trying to just go to the bathroom. You are going to have to be more specific than that”
“Your simple mind cannot comprehend the situation you find yourself in and in how much danger you truly are.”
“Ah yes. The classic ‘Making the situation worse through excessive arrogance’. Well my only solace is that whatever it is down there which is going to take its turn at horribly killing me. You are going to be there being killed right next to me. That gives me a warm fuzzy feeling.”
“If it means ending your existence my death is worth the prize.”
Mur’Phon was about to retort when a horrible sinking sensation hit him.
“Miku can I have the guide back for a moment please?”
Miku in mild shock from him using the word please just handed it over wordlessly.
He seemed to browse it for a minute then suddenly he handed it back, walked over to Galiana and slugged her in the stomach as hard as he could.
“You keep your mouth shut from now on except specific vital stuff!” The scary part was that he didn’t sound angry. He sounded terrified.
Miku glanced down on the pad on the article open. It was general travel through adverse conditions chapter. Specifically a paragraph that spoke of the probable fate if you happened to travel along with somebody of the opposite sex and you hated each other’s guts.
“Eh?”
*********************************************************************
Travelling through adverse conditions: Companions.
There are two main types of companion. Those that hate you and those that don’t.
Those that don’t are easy to deal with. There is no such thing as a useless companion. Even if the use is merely bait while you run. Work with them and you both got better odds of survival
It’s when you run into ones that hate you it’ll be interesting.
Word of advice: If you can. Waste them the moment you get an opportunity. If they are officially your enemy this goes double as being friendly with the enemy tends to lead to court martial followed shortly by semi automatic pulse fire.
Things get really messy when they are the opposite sex.
While I have never experienced this myself every story I have come across of two people of opposite sexes who hate each other being forced to get along for an extended period of time has pretty much always resulted in Romance. And in more than one case across species as well.
From a purely scientific viewpoint it’s annoying that the Ethereals punish that sort of thing by immediate execution. It would be interesting to see how that’d play out in a long term relationship.
From a tactical viewpoint though it’s never wise to piss them off without alibi and deniability so that sort of thing better wait.
If you find yourself forced to travel with for an extended period somebody of the opposite sex who hates you and you hate them. Give in to your hatred and waste them now. Ammo is cheap, your life isn’t.
*******************************************************************
The green light was all pervasive now. Miku was getting jittery. The light unnerved her on some primal level. Which was why she appreciated having Galiana on her shoulder much more than she’d admit.
The Farseer didn’t seem happy about it, but after that punch to her gut she hadn’t been able to keep the pace Mur’Phon demanded so she didn’t have much choice
“You should try to be a bit nicer you know. Mur’Phon isn’t so bad once he stops thinking you are about to kill him any second now. He’s just very frightened of everything.”
“The feelings of...” Galiana had to cough for a moment. “The feelings of lesser beings are beneath me.” She wanted to attempt some quiet dignity right now, but she had to get this damn retarded dark one to shut up first.
“Why do people insist on that? If we could just all accept eachother the universe would be a much better place.”
“You are a disgrace for our race.”
“See. That’s the kind of thing you should stop saying. It hurts people when you say that.”
“You are incapable of understanding what is at stake here.” Sure she wanted to maintain quiet dignity, but no Eldar worth their salt would pass up a chance to put down a perceived lesser
“Sure I do. There’s some hidden threat on this planet which is a threat to the whole galaxy if it goes unchecked. You were pretty clear on that.”
Galiana couldn’t help but gape. Perhaps she had underestimated this deviant.
“What? You did say so up there. I’m sure the boys picked up on it too.” Or perhaps not.
“You are aware they don’t have the same senses you do right?”
“They don’t? That explains a lot actually. Like why Mur’Phon didn’t see that cave with those am-something things in it before walking over it....”
Galiana was cursing the gods for putting her in this predicament.
“...Or why Gordonius though Mur’Phon might not see him when he tried to steal his gun a few nights back.”
“Why do you have to be so stupid?! You admit the galaxy is at risk, and yet you still care about these insignificant little details?” She couldn’t take it anymore. Quiet dignity her ass.
“Because if it may end at any moment. Isn’t that all the more reason to enjoy life and live while you can at the moments you can’t do anything about it? Caring about those and knowing the gravity of the situation isn’t mutually exclusive you know. You shouldn’t always assume the worst about people. That’s what got you into this situation.”
Why did the universe persist in taunting her?! Just when she thought she had this girl (She couldn’t get herself to consider her a woman) figured out she had to go and say something deep.
What had she done to piss off the gods?
Suddenly Mur’Phon held up his hands for silence.
There were quiet metallic noises. Kinda like slow footsteps of metal feet.
Mur’Phon peered around the corner.
“Ah crap.”
“What?” Miku whispered.
“I’m not really surprised, but it’s still not pleasant to see when we have to get past them.”
“The great enemy...”
“Necrons. One of the few aliens I know off that hasn’t tried to kill me yet at some point. I should’ve known they’d want their turn.”
*End chapter 13*
-
That NOS Guy
- Jedi Council Member
- Posts: 1867
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*blink* OMG, it UPDATED!
*checks to see if she won the lottery as well*
*checks to see if she won the lottery as well*
Me: Nope, that's why I have you around to tell me.
Nitram: You -are- beautiful. Anyone tries to tell you otherwise kill them.
"A life is like a garden. Perfect moments can be had, but not preserved, except in memory. LLAP" -- Leonard Nimoy, last Tweet
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Academia Nut
- Sith Devotee
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FICS FOR THE FIC GOD! UPDATES FOR THE UPDATE THRONE!
Yeah, it's back! And I really feel sorry for those poor, poor bastards.
...
It's not every day that the Necrons are forced to retreat in confusion over what the frak just happened. I'm trying, and failing, to come up with a sufficiently insane scenario to throw them off their game, although since you've already managed to get the Hive Mind plastered I'm sure you will come up with something suitable.
Oh, and if I might be so bold, will we ever find out how a young Mr. Potter will get out of having a sniper rifle pointed directly at his face?
PS: Tangentially, while writing this post I had a bizarre, somewhat surreal discussion with a friend about the Wendy's Baconator involving laziness, hooker delivery services, and explaining things to girlfriends. Somehow I envision the entire Firewarrior caste suddenly suffering a bout of cholesterol related coronaries if this delicious concept were introduced to them.
Yeah, it's back! And I really feel sorry for those poor, poor bastards.
...
It's not every day that the Necrons are forced to retreat in confusion over what the frak just happened. I'm trying, and failing, to come up with a sufficiently insane scenario to throw them off their game, although since you've already managed to get the Hive Mind plastered I'm sure you will come up with something suitable.
Oh, and if I might be so bold, will we ever find out how a young Mr. Potter will get out of having a sniper rifle pointed directly at his face?
PS: Tangentially, while writing this post I had a bizarre, somewhat surreal discussion with a friend about the Wendy's Baconator involving laziness, hooker delivery services, and explaining things to girlfriends. Somehow I envision the entire Firewarrior caste suddenly suffering a bout of cholesterol related coronaries if this delicious concept were introduced to them.
I love learning. Teach me. I will listen.
You know, if Christian dogma included a ten-foot tall Jesus walking around in battle armor and smashing retarded cultists with a gaint mace, I might just convert - Noble Ire on Jesus smashing Scientologists
You know, if Christian dogma included a ten-foot tall Jesus walking around in battle armor and smashing retarded cultists with a gaint mace, I might just convert - Noble Ire on Jesus smashing Scientologists
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The Yosemite Bear
- Mostly Harmless Nutcase (Requiescat in Pace)
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- Location: Dave's Not Here Man
yes, we are assholes
Also remind the Air Caste and Water caste that sometimes Fragging is for the "Greater Good"
oh, and since we're back in the regular Codex again, put some of us in, just make sure that we're sarcastic assholes who see life and death as but a joke... (oh, wait a shadowseer, a grand harli and a deathjester quoting "All around the watchtower" while talking with the farseers....)
Also remind the Air Caste and Water caste that sometimes Fragging is for the "Greater Good"
oh, and since we're back in the regular Codex again, put some of us in, just make sure that we're sarcastic assholes who see life and death as but a joke... (oh, wait a shadowseer, a grand harli and a deathjester quoting "All around the watchtower" while talking with the farseers....)
The scariest folk song lyrics are "My Boy Grew up to be just like me" from cats in the cradle by Harry Chapin
Brilliant!
Somehow, I can picture a Tau firewarrior going "mmmm. Bacon."
Somehow, I can picture a Tau firewarrior going "mmmm. Bacon."
3D Printed Custom Miniatures! Check it out: http://www.kickstarter.com/projects/pro ... miniatures
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The Yosemite Bear
- Mostly Harmless Nutcase (Requiescat in Pace)
- Posts: 35211
- Joined: 2002-07-21 02:38am
- Location: Dave's Not Here Man
The sad part is the flashback to the old "Beggin' Strips" dog treats commerciallazerus wrote:Brilliant!
Somehow, I can picture a Tau firewarrior going "mmmm. Bacon."
"Bacon bacon bacon bacon I SMELL BACON!
WAIT! What's that in the Bag!
I CAN'T READ!!!!!
Please Please Please gimme what's in the Bag!
It's BACON!!!!!!"
Me: Nope, that's why I have you around to tell me.
Nitram: You -are- beautiful. Anyone tries to tell you otherwise kill them.
"A life is like a garden. Perfect moments can be had, but not preserved, except in memory. LLAP" -- Leonard Nimoy, last Tweet