Gundam 00: The Stupid, It Burns

[Sidewinder]

I just read this amusing review of Mobile Suit Gundam 00:

Gundam 00: Tell me this political satire…
Posted by [Crusader] on October 10th, 2007 | Category: Gundam 00, Current

I really hate reading about communism especially when the text books from my History of the People’s Republic course were written by a communist hack and a worthless ultra left wanker. All commies are guilty, guilty of wasting my time. At any rate watching Gundam 00 is propaganda at its best its so God awful in its assessment of the geopolitical landscape in fact I’d say that Sunrise should be renamed the Ministry of Toy Whoring and Propaganda. As an avid reader of the Armchair General Magazine even Ralph Peter’s nihilistic outlook on the People’s Republic of China being the new USSR makes more sense than Sunrise… I know a mecha post on THAT blog? Oh yes!

So in the future in in the 24th century Capitan Jean Luc Picard was not boldly going where no man has gone before. Instead Zefram Chochrane died in an alcohol binge and the Vulcans took one look at Earth and started a betting pool on how much longer humanity could last. Indeed even the Borg deemed humanity unworthy of assimilation or even extermination. Thus upon this bleak future which Sunrise gave birth to our rehash of what I suspect to be Gundam Wing will take place.

So in the the 24th century Kurdistan will have existed and Sunrise makes it no secret that they support child soldiers. The EU levels up and starts selling weapons to any one with cash without limits like a real super power. Also in a most shocking revelation the Irish have beaten out the Germans as the new corps d’elite in Europe. Then again only in war games. India, China, and Russia combine to form Voltron a super power. After all Japan is such a great power that they don’t need to ally with any one and since China and India are not and never will be rising super powers in their own right they were forced to join in some sort of Three Musketeers combo (rolls eyes). Sadly the popularity of Chinese architecture has led to the loss of Indian and Russian architectural styles… I guess Putin lost a Judo match to Hu Jintao.

Oh, the US is still there with solar power humvees, Ahnuld’s ‘ead in a jar must be proud. Sorry South Korea your kick ass marines with a 19:1 or better kill ratio in your favor just don’t get no love from MTWP.

Seriously Sunrise nary a mention of Africa or impending ascendancy of South Africa as a regional Super Power? Tsk tsk tsk… If you want to stand on the soap box, Africa makes the Middle East look like a border skirmish. Can a I get amen to decline of Nigeria? Also once again South America is totally forgotten, guess Hugo Chavez has yet to make a name for himself in Japan. Then again I have yet to see a Japanese national with a Che Guevarra t-shirt, even one made to promote capitalist products.

Another thing what is up with “the war to end all wars” bullshit I am hearing. Good grief Sunrise you don’t need to parade that idea around any more. Sure your ancestors fired nary a shot during the First World War in taking those isolated German colonies, but for everyone else it meant trench warfare and massive casualties. Perhaps your agents in the Ministry of Agriculture can wiki the Blackest Day on the Somme for you. Oh and don’t forget Verdun. By the way World War I did not end all wars that is why the “I” is there. No, the Siege of Tsingtao does not count because with 50,000 Japanese against 4,000 Germans and Austrians there was no reason you could have possibly lost. Besides how did the Germans lose only 200 while you lost 1,455?

Sunrise also shows its uncouth ignorance of Christianity, and penchant for the most unmanly of names. Hallelujah? Haptism? Setsuna? My goodness I hope the that Sunrise doesn’t start naming their kids this way, though I am told that there is at least one person in the world named Sephiroth…Also the Mobile Suit names are weak this time around, Exia, Virtue, Enact, Flag? They need to take a page from the Royal Navy, with such awesome and august names like Furious, Illustrious, Rodney, and King George V. Heck go one step to up the Kriegsmarine to Scharnhorst, Bismarck, or even Gneisenau.

Not to be outdone by a bunch of pilots the peanut gallery gets introduced and guess what…Dorthy is now Chinese and Releena is now in charge of OPEC Saudi Arabia or some Emirate, though I expect the Japanese to pigeon hole them in to the “Kingdom” category. Sumergia is the new motherly captain of their carrier. I was hoping for a change of pace with a hard ass old crusty captain prone to slapping his subordinates and declaring that his job is to kill terrorists, kill terrorists, and kill more terrorists.

In any case a great start to a new whipping boy. I still think of Gundam the the greatest example of how every war story to come out of anime is a rehash of the Tale of Heike. Never mind the gross misinterpretation of war, its Gundam. We all know that Gundam really means God Understandably Never Did Admire Mecha. By the way that’s been trade marked.

Hey its not all bad they actually used some simple tactics this time. It beats charging in and pwning everything at least. I’ve been disappointed before so at least I am getting a good laugh out of this one.

Click on the link for some hilarious captions of various scenes.

Anyway, I haven't seen the series yet, and judging from the review, it's best that I don't. Comments?

[Sidewinder]

Here's the review for the second episode:

Gundam 00 - 02: Would you like to accept Gundam Jesus as your personal Savior?
Posted by [Crusader] on October 14th, 2007 | Category: Gundam 00, Current

So it seems that we have finally been given a map of the balance of power in the 24th Century as decreed by Sunrise. More on that later, but as much things change many things stay the same. Apparently 24 hour news only ever gets one hour worth of news that they constantly repeat, much like in the 21st Century. Even the blond has taken notice so it must more than on the hour every hour. I’d wager every five minutes. At least until some celebrity scandal or Angelina Jolie (what can I say she ages well) adopts another kid…

So the world has been divided into 3 major blocks and an indeterminate number of failed states or non-aligned nations, but let’s be real they are irrelevant. The Middle East especially since there is no more oil. At least Israel is gone, though I assume all the Jews decided that being in the desert for another 40 or more years was a complete waste of time. Besides if they wanted to live in a place where every one hated each other they may as well move to New York City because they at least have running water. I believe that in the 24th Century that they will have taken Solomon’s Temple and moved it to the NYC where the head of Mayor Michael Bloomberg was more than willing to make space by demolishing Yankee Stadium after the Red Sox had beaten the Yankees continuously for the past 300 years. Heck even the Mets had more MVP winners than the Yankees had wins by 2307.

The good news is not limited to the Middle East though, for the US has defeated communism in the Western hemisphere. Cuba and Venezuela, after the collapse of oil, have been admonished for their socialist ways and have been dragged back into the free market. The invisible hand sure gave them a beating. The British Commonwealth disintegrates as Australia, Canada, and New Zealand have opted to join the Union rather than put up with Mother England. The Union has their elevator in South America, so I guess the US still has not solved that outsourcing problem yet. I take back what I said about Japan, they did join the Union after all. The AEU put theirs on what I hope is some prime African real estate, though they have bitten off a sizable chunk of Russia claiming St. Petersburg, Volgograd, and Moscow so that the Human Reformation League can’t visit Lenin’s Tomb (better that Mao’s tomb, Ho’s tomb, and Kim’s tomb combined), famous Red Squares, or anything past the Urals. The Human Reformation League counts resource rich or was rich Siberia and wisely placed their elevator in the South Pacific in the middle of the old SOSUS network. I bet they are gambling that the Union has no use for an system that they used to track nuclear subs and marine life.

In other news Wang Liu Ming not only wears the qipao in a show of Chinese backwardness but has bound feet as well since she needs a manservant to carry her. Rejoice otakudom of Japan not only does she wear backward clothing that accentuates he loli stature and large cup size, her bound feet means that she can’t run far or fast. Apparently Ms. Wang goes on safari Hollywood style, always carried and never afraid to wear heels instead of boots for Ms. Wang has no fear of stepping onto a pit viper… Sumeragi calls forth an armed intervention in Ceylon to halt their 300 year conflict and put an end to the HRL support for the Tamil Tigers. While these Gundams have stealth their heading was made bare and for some strange reason instead of a prepared defense ala Market Garden for the airdropped interlopers the HRL was woefully unprepared.

As usual the Japanese guy Setsuna charges in like the tactically inept douche that he is; I knew he was not a Kurd! While the HRL has Russia it seems that they lost all that research regarding howitzers against heavily armored opponents, after all the Soviets figured out that turning the crew of a tank to mush was just as good as getting a penetrating hit. It seems this lesson was lost or Setsuna is not bound by the rules human squishiness… So declaring himself Gundam Jesus he strides forth and eliminates HRL forces despite their superior numbers and artillery support on a nearby hill. At least the HRL is using over watch tactics and the battle buddy system. The HRL navy must be run by idiots since they kept a carrier dangerously close to shore and used it as a battleship trying to give Virtue a pitiful broadside instead of using electronic countermeasures and smoke screen to make a hard rudder left in a bid to escape.

Kyrios makes a bombing run and wipes out a base while crying and whining about killing the peons that work there. Dynames makes short work of the HRL battery while Exia uses its swiss army knife to slice and dice. The HRL wisely though belatedly retreats while their enemies get chopped down in their attempt to pursue. Sumeragi’s plan to end the war is to have both sides bleed out so that they will be forced to negotiate a cease fire, or they could opt to simply fight to the last man woman and child. After all in a civil war both sides even the losing side will maintain a measure of reason… We all know that 300 years to build up hate can be easily dispelled by interventions against military targets over the course of a couple months. Setsuna leaves ahead of the others because he does not need a battle buddy or need to maintain formation. He gets mugged by Union’s Flag whose pilot Graham Acre is hardo gei for Gundam and demands that Setsuna give up his perfect grade gunpala.

As to the AEU, Union, and HRL speculation on where the Celestial Beings get their funding, the JNN figures out that they are funded by Nazi gold procured by one Aeolia Schenberg. As Schenberg allegedly died 200 years prior he is the oldest surviving Nazi though I suspect he gained immortality from his work at Castle Wolfenstien.

Well this series just gets better and better; Nazi gold and ending ethnic conflicts that are hundreds of years old. Really with such impeccable logic maybe that is what needs to be done to bring peace to the Balkans; kill everybody. I cannot help but wonder what Ms. Wang is supposed to do. She just watches, I think that she might be a cheerleader. Sumeragi is drinking on duty though her best friend is not yet a bottle of whiskey; this makes me sad. So I am wagering that only one perhaps two more interventions are required before both sides accept Gundam Jesus as their personal savior.

[Spanky The Dolphin]

Woah, how did a new Gundam series just pop out of nowhere?

My gut reaction while viewing the OP was that it was going to be just an empty Wing/SEED redux, though I've watched the first episode and I have to admit that I actually liked it. The angle of outright terrorism and jihad seems pretty new and intriguing, plus there are hints of more complex and modern political elements than what's been seen in previous series.

And the animation and CGI is really good, which is always a bonus.

Maybe it will turn out to be a Wing/SEED redux, but for all we know it could turn out to be one that's genuinely good.

Those reviews just seems like petty whine-fests, going in determined not to like it, so he makes such a tremendous deal out of little things.

[Shinova]

I've learned to read reviews with a hefty grain of salt, because as a reviewer you HAVE to give some series negative scores otherwise you become irrelevant if you keep giving most series average or decent scores. And giving constantly good reviews makes a reviewer look dumb in the eyes of most people, but constantly giving bad reviews somehow makes them seem smarter and more enlightened than the rest of the masses, and they start holding this reviewer in some revered light.

The best judge it always yourself. Spare an evening and try out a few episodes.

[VF5SS]

Wow dude, the first two episodes of Gundam 00 were actually pretty good. Sure every character is very pretty and the Gundams are apparently under the command of an evil James Lipton, but they've actually given thought to the premise and its not just Gundam Wing 3.0.

Does anyone have a favorite pairing yet? I'm pulling for Tiera and Allelujah. rowr :3

[Ford Prefect]

My gut reaction while viewing the OP was that it was going to be just an empty Wing/SEED redux, though I've watched the first episode and I have to admit that I actually liked it. The angle of outright terrorism and jihad seems pretty new and intriguing, plus there are hints of more complex and modern political elements than what's been seen in previous series.

Whoa, promising. I got kind of excited when I learn't who the director was, so hopefully it will keep it up. I'll have to check out the first few episodes.

Those reviews just seems like petty whine-fests, going in determined not to like it, so he makes such a tremendous deal out of little things.

I honestly couldn't take the first one seriously in any way, because the reviewer sounded like a wanker.

[VF5SS]

I like Lockon Stratos's (best name evar) giant Guncon controller (with a very genki Haro). Also the aforementioned evil James Lipton. Also Tiera x Allelujah. Tiera also reminds me of someone.

hay look I can be a link whore like Sidewinder.

[Ford Prefect]

Lockon Stratos? That's a name almost as badass as Powers Boothe.

[Spanky The Dolphin]

All I'm really balking at so far is the absurdity that Tiera is a guy.

Honestly, that's the only thing that's absurd.

[Ford Prefect]

All I'm really balking at so far is the absurdity that Tiera is a guy.

Honestly, that's the only thing that's absurd.

...

What? That's ... that's madness.

On the other hand, our villain is extremely badass looking, but ... a guy? No.

[VF5SS]

All I'm really balking at so far is the absurdity that Tiera is a guy.

He does have a fairly manly voice.

Here's the world in Gundam 00. Those big dots are the space elevators that provide power to the major governments. Even in the 22nd century, nobody owns Africa.

[Spanky The Dolphin]

All I'm really balking at so far is the absurdity that Tiera is a guy.

He does have a fairly manly voice.

I know he's a guy, and I get how the whole "bad ass bishounen" thing works, but they really couldn't have made him look like any more of a pretty boy. It's almost as if they went in designing the character as a woman, but at the last minute went "fuck it, let's make her a guy, too."

Woman Gundam pilots have been grossly underrepresented...

[The Yosemite Bear]

hmmm, now that could be an interesting take on anime conventions...

a woman in a mysogynistic space military who disgueses herself as a bad assed "pretty boy", and no one knows...

like some of those pirate legends....

[Covenant]

I don't watch Gundam... but that's a guy? Holy fuck, anime people, seriously. I hate the bishounen idiocy, and that's just too far. That's a chick. Just let it be a chick. I cannot understand what could theoretically be a viable reasoning for that. While they may want to make an assortment of beautiful pilots, it's been done so many times that it's just a damn joke. Ahh well. I'm just glad I'm not Japanese and have to battle that kind of a fad personally.

[VF5SS]

I cannot understand what could theoretically be a viable reasoning for that.

Because it gets girls to watch the show.

[Covenant]

I cannot understand what could theoretically be a viable reasoning for that.

Because it gets girls to watch the show.

What? Really? They like that?

[VF5SS]

What? Really? They like that?

The love it.

Really love it.

[Nephtys]

What.

Let's compare that 'Guy' with another character. Who is most definately female.





DOES NOT COMPUTE.

[VF5SS]

Oh they has those hips. :3

Hay Nephtys, don't steal pictures from my host site XD

[Academia Nut]

Hmmm... while I don't remember it exactly, when the preview for Gundam 00 was shown at my anime club (for laughs at that, we're a pretty sarcastic and jaded group) I remember calling "TRAP!" on one of the characters. I seem to have been proven right.

[VF5SS]

Club ZEUS. I guess this is actually a club on Otome Road.

lol this thread has been Gundamjacked by hot guys.

I'm not terribly surprised by the characters. The designer, Yun Kougam is apparently known for HAWT GUYS. Bandai is going to be laughing all the way to the bank once they make figures of these pilots.

[The Yosemite Bear]

So what do you guys think about the Mary Reed idea?

[Spanky The Dolphin]

There should be another vote for "yes" in the poll, since I voted before I found the first episode.

[Sidewinder]

So what do you guys think about the Mary Reed idea?

I'd love to see a female mecha pilot who does NOT fall in love with some loser and then suddenly transform from a badass to the damsel in distress. Put Kusanagi Motoko in a Gundam, have her use actual military tactics instead of acting like a damn 'Dragonball Z' character, and you'll find at least one fan.

[SylasGaunt]

I am much tickled by the fact that the experimental suit in the first episode had a vibroblade that was actually, you know, noisy.