Zero Punctuation does MOH: Airborne

Post by **Vympel** » 2007-11-03 10:24pm

Link

Stark's soulmate tears into this game that I was never going to buy or pirate anyway.

VF5SS · Post by **VF5SS** » 2007-11-03 10:47pm

The age of the Medal of Honor series really puts America's fascination with World War 2 into perspective, right?

Academia Nut · Post by **Academia Nut** » 2007-11-03 11:01pm

If you include movies then Hollywood has been going on about WW2 for damn near an order of magnitude longer than the actual war. But yeah, as always, Yahtzee delivers with the sarcasm and wit we have come to expect. It never really gets old either.

Alan Bolte · Post by **Alan Bolte** » 2007-11-04 09:08am

I'd like to thank you guys for linking to ZP a while back, I've been looking forward to it each week.

Pulp Hero · Post by **Pulp Hero** » 2007-11-04 09:57am

Indeed.

I'm playing MOH:A right now and the experience is like this:

"Okay, I'll land here on this tower and snipe all the nazis on the target.

BANG BANG BANG BANG.

Sweet they're all dead. Time to place the demo."

[Goes to target]

"Oh God, the Nazis, they're shooting me, they're SHOOTING ME! The sniping did nothing, I think they're zombies! Argh"

[Dies]

"Okay I'll snipe them again.

Sweet, I'm on the tower. Hey, what the fuck, that Tiger can't put its main cannon up that high. Oh GOD GOD! No I want to liv-"

[Dies]

"Okay I'll just shoot them with my der-pimp SMG."

[Kills Nazis]

"Okay, now for the next part of the mission. Hey, wait gas-masked wearing panzershrek troopers. Why would they be wearing gasmasks in the first place? That doesn't make sense. You know what, I'm going to go buy a used copy of Call Of Duty."

[Buys a used copy of Call Of Duty]

Though, I do admit the leaning system while aiming is very nice and I wish more games used it.

CaptHawkeye · Post by **CaptHawkeye** » 2007-11-04 10:52am

Here fucking here Yahtzee. I know it would be totally out of character for EA, but honestly, just let the MoH series die already. The series hasn't produced a single noteworthy title since Allied Assault. And that game pretty much rode on the Omaha Beach mission alone. I thought the rest of the game was pretty mediocre.

Call of Duty has stolen your fire, and even CoD is starting to show its age.

The age of the Medal of Honor series really puts America's fascination with World War 2 into perspective, right?

I don't mind World War 2 video games so long as they seem to make an effort at trying new things. But they haven't, they've beaten the arcade style "shotz ur dudz" and the "comand ur dudz" systems to death. Battlestations Midway was a good effort, but whoops! It got bad reviews because IGN was too fucking stupid to figure out where the unit spawn button was on a CONSOLE CONTROLLER.

I miss the days when WW2 was the territory of simulations. il-2 Sturmovik, Silent Hunter, where have you gone? Down the mountain of mediocrity and audience appeasement?

Edit: Look at the comments in that section, looks like Yahtzee ruffled some feathers this time.

hund_schraube wrote:yes another american coming here to say i love the reviews but thought the moh:a one was all about bashing america.i wouldnt have been offended with a few seconds of slaming the usa but it was almost half the friggin review.for the record we saved your aussie's ass's from speaking jap just like we saved europe from all speaking german

Yahtzee Croshaw wrote:No 'you' didn't. 'You' didn't do shit except post that just now.

Here's a new rule I propose: when most of the people who could have directly benefitted from event A have died of old age, everyone has to stop taking credit for event A. This is why I'm not going to say that America was settled by Europeans, because if we want to live in the past it was the Roman conquest that first spread Western civilisation so by this logic we aren't allowed to criticise the Italians for anything ever.

Manus Celer Dei · Post by **Manus Celer Dei** » 2007-11-04 11:54am

Historical accuracy be damned, I want to see Hitler riding a giant robotic spider.

Dartzap · Post by **Dartzap** » 2007-11-04 12:18pm

Ye' gads, even one such as me, who is used to the accent, can barely keep up with what he was saying! Zero puntuation indeed....

Phillip Hone · Post by **Phillip Hone** » 2007-11-04 12:21pm

"America, Fuck Yeah!" at the end was the perfect finish.

Historical accuracy be damned, I want to see Hitler riding a giant robotic spider.

I would too, if these games didn't take themselves so damn seriously.

Medic · Post by **Medic** » 2007-11-04 02:13pm

What's most hilarious about the review is the aftermath in which several people are banned for having their patriotic sensibilities offended.

Einhander Sn0m4n · Post by **Einhander Sn0m4n** » 2007-11-04 02:29pm

This post in particular made me instantly think of Mike. Yahtzee would definitely be welcome here

Pulp Hero · Post by **Pulp Hero** » 2007-11-04 03:20pm

I made discovery today. If you turn the game's soundtrack all the way down, and start playing Manowar songs on your 360 it increases the enjoyability and atmosphere a surprising amount.

Dooey Jo · Post by **Dooey Jo** » 2007-11-04 03:43pm

hund_schraube wrote:yes another american coming here to say i love the reviews but thought the moh:a one was all about bashing america.i wouldnt have been offended with a few seconds of slaming the usa but it was almost half the friggin review.for the record we saved your aussie's ass's from speaking jap just like we saved europe from all speaking german

And morons like this is why EA will keep churning out generic WW2 shooters for the next couple of decades or so...

I like how he himself can't handle the language he seems so proud that some guy's Aussie's ass can use to "slame" America. Christ... These nimwits really do learn their WW2 history from those games, don't they?

Drooling Iguana · Post by **Drooling Iguana** » 2007-11-04 08:40pm

Manus Celer Dei wrote:Historical accuracy be damned, I want to see Hitler riding a giant robotic spider.

Hitler rode a giant robot in the last level of the third episode of Wolfenstein 3D. It wasn't a spider, though.

Panzer Grenadier · Post by **Panzer Grenadier** » 2007-11-05 12:41am

ha pretty good except for all the "lolz America is t3h st00pid" bullshit in it. Really I expect something more from yahtzee.

Really though Airborne looks like total shit. I love how game companies like to parade one tiny little feature (like being able to choose where you land) and acting like it is some mind blowing genre defining feature. Then when you get the game you realize it was either poorly implemented or just plain fluff, or both.

Nephtys · Post by **Nephtys** » 2007-11-05 12:52am

Drooling Iguana wrote:
Manus Celer Dei wrote:Historical accuracy be damned, I want to see Hitler riding a giant robotic spider.
Hitler rode a giant robot in the last level of the third episode of Wolfenstein 3D. It wasn't a spider, though.

A giant robot with quad minigun arms. And when you blow it up, he hops out, rips out a minigun in each hand and charges you.

Now is that not hilarious? By contrast, gasmask wearing rocket SS soldiers seems quite sensable

Covenant · Post by **Covenant** » 2007-11-05 02:53am

Panzer Grenadier wrote:ha pretty good except for all the "lolz America is t3h st00pid" bullshit in it. Really I expect something more from yahtzee.

Hehe, c'mon, who IS spared from his wit? The guy hasn't seemed to shy away from attacking the French or British either, and when US companies (movies, games, politics) continue to put out new masturbatory material of the exact same beach landing you have to wonder at what point someone is going to go "You know, we've probably made up more fictional soldiers for this war than actually ever fought in it."

Really, we get it, it was a very clear cut war. Midwestern farmboys versus guys who dress in black, gas people to death, make furniture out of skin, and have skulls and thunderbolts as part of their normal uniform. We get it, Nazis make good badguys.

It's time to try something new.

And it's not like he's giving the Japanese a pass either--he hates Japanese stuff an awful lot so I doubt he's even aware of their nazi cosplay fetish, and constant historical revisionism gaming.

PeZook · Post by **PeZook** » 2007-11-05 04:29am

What makes me sad is how there's so much things to explore in WWII, but movies and games are so bloody fascinated with Normandy, North Africa and fighting in France.

CoD's Stalingrad was a welcome distraction, with a completely different feel. But come on, there's so much more!

There's the struggle of partisans, the intelligence games, the awesome naval battles (Jesus, what I wouldn't give for an awesome WWII naval command game! Like, BS Midway II: Actually Realistic), the political meandering...

The freshest WWII game to come out lately was Hearts Of Iron. And that game's OLD.

It's like the only WWII games made lately are generic shooters, RTSes and arcade romps with arbitrary airplanes and ships.

Where's my "command a Russian company on the Eastern Front from an FPS perspective" game, huh? And don't say it's impossible to make one. Show some goddamned effort.

DavidEC · Post by **DavidEC** » 2007-11-05 05:54am

Er there hasn't been too many popular games concerning the campaigns in North Africa, or Italy, for that matter. It's Normandy all the way.

PeZook · Post by **PeZook** » 2007-11-05 05:59am

DavidEC wrote:Er there hasn't been too many popular games concerning the campaigns in North Africa, or Italy, for that matter. It's Normandy all the way.

CoD2 had a large segment about Africa, and the original MOH started there, too. That's what I had in mind.

I agree on Normandy, though. Seriously, there's so much drama during a battle which is practically a guaranteed win for the Allies...it has been a popular fetish ever since Saving Private Ryan hit the cinemas, I think.

DavidEC · Post by **DavidEC** » 2007-11-05 10:18am

Oops, I admit I'm not well versed in either the CoD or MoH series.

To really get a good spread of scenarios you have to buy something like Sudden Strike, which has its own problems varying from gah micro to downright turgidness.

Admiral Valdemar · Post by **Admiral Valdemar** » 2007-11-05 04:01pm

That was probably the best yet. And this is why I'm hyped up for CoD4, because at least with CoD they've seen you can have more fun not masturbating to WWII with every release.

Panzer Grenadier wrote:ha pretty good except for all the "lolz America is t3h st00pid" bullshit in it. Really I expect something more from yahtzee.

*Plays world's smallest violin*

PeZook wrote:
Where's my "command a Russian company on the Eastern Front from an FPS perspective" game, huh? And don't say it's impossible to make one. Show some goddamned effort.

Red Orchestra?

PeZook · Post by **PeZook** » 2007-11-05 05:30pm

RedImperator wrote:
PeZook wrote:
Where's my "command a Russian company on the Eastern Front from an FPS perspective" game, huh? And don't say it's impossible to make one. Show some goddamned effort.
Red Orchestra?

Company, dude. Not platoons of retarded sugar-addicted children.

I would love to see a "command" game with a good interface (unlike Flashpoint's horribly broken one), where you get a combat unit like a company, and command it like you would on a real battlefield, with well-simulated fog-of-war. The game would have to model ammo use (duh!), morale, terrain, tactics and equipment. Like radio failures.

And just for candy, you'd command your company via a 3D modeled company HQ, and could walk around the map at will (for example - if you'd like to expose yourself to fire and see better what's going on - be my guest)

But, well...

The most I can hope for is another generic RTS.

YT300000 · Post by **YT300000** » 2007-11-05 10:56pm

Hahaha, Hitler riding a giant spider.

That was lovely.

Ford Prefect · Post by **Ford Prefect** » 2007-11-05 11:56pm

PeZook wrote:I would love to see a "command" game with a good interface (unlike Flashpoint's horribly broken one), where you get a combat unit like a company, and command it like you would on a real battlefield, with well-simulated fog-of-war. The game would have to model ammo use (duh!), morale, terrain, tactics and equipment. Like radio failures.

A Bridge too Far has been doing proper terrain, ammo and morale for about as long as I have been in glorious existence. You'd think they could bring that back. A Bridge too Far 2, for example, would blow WWII games out of the water.