- Did not graduate high school on time, and refuses to retake the courses he failed; therefore, he will either pull a magic correspondance course or three out of his ass (HA! like his mother will pay for THAT after his failures), he will swallow his pride and go back to high school for a fifth year, or he will simply get a GED. I'm leaning towards #3.
- Is currently dating a 15 year old, and is trying to convince her parents (who, shockingly, half-agreed) to let her move in with him if/when he gets an apartment before she moves to Illinois. Keep in mind, they've been going out for all of two months.
- Went to the police station to ask them if said living arrangement would be okay (duh...), and they said "no, it would give the authorities reason to believe something was going on"... namely, sex. After telling me this, he said to me "Stupid statutory rape laws". Yeah, no reason at all for the authorities to suspect anything, with that attitude...
Hahaha that reminds me of a story.. I remember my friend, 19 at that time was dating a 16 year old. When I got my car stolen a bunch of my friends, including him were at my apartment when the police came to take down my information. Being in good humor for some reason, I asked the cop whether or not it was legal for my friend to be dating a 16 year old. The cop stops for a moment and goes "uuuh. as long as they don't do anything." hilarious moment as everyone broke out laughing.
I don't want to say "loser," because he's not, but my half-brother does some pretty stupid stuff. He managed to knock up his girlfriend of many years recently, and despite the fact that they are probably a great match for one another (she is the only person in the world capable of putting up with his bullshit), he still won't marry her. He loves her kid (from a previous marriage), he wants to live with her and raise the baby, but he still hasn't decided to marry her yet. My hope is that he will see the baby and change his mind completely.
My sister also isn't really a loser, but has done some dumbass stuff. While my parents were at a concert, she drove off in my father's car (after removing a car key from a set of keys behind his back), without a driver's license, and had the car back home by the time my parents got back. She also has snuck out at 3 AM in the morning a number of times and not gotten caught. Now, none of this would be a big deal if it were not for the fact that after doing all this she would POST HER EXPLOITS in a Live frigging Journal for all the world to see. Stupidity exacting its own punishment, my parents eventually found and read the LiveJournal and now she is just about grounded for life.
BoTM / JL / MM / HAB / VRWC / Horseman
I'm studying for the CPA exam. Have a nice summer, and if you're down just sit back and realize that Joe is off somewhere, doing much worse than you are.
Update on my "biggest loser" award winner. He eventually found a mail-order bride from the Philippines, so he is no longer a virgin. However, he is not fucking her; she is fucking him. Specifically, he is now sending a generous portion of every (unimpressive) paycheque to her family in the Philippines so they can buy a house. He is now on the verge of declaring bankruptcy as a result of this arrangement.
He has also given up completely on his ridiculous self-taught bodybuilding regimen, in part because he was doing it all wrong and ended up fucking up his back so badly that he has trouble wiping his own ass after taking a shit. As a result, he looks even worse than he did before (heavy weight gain and loss of what little muscle tone he had).
"It's not evil for God to do it. Or for someone to do it at God's command."- Jonathan Boyd on baby-killing
"you guys are fascinated with the use of those "rules of logic" to the extent that you don't really want to discussus anything."- GC
"I do not believe Russian Roulette is a stupid act" - Embracer of Darkness
"Viagra commercials appear to save lives" - tharkûn on US health care.
Hey somebody call an Admin about this thread necro!!
This is pretty funny actually. Somebody referenced this bad neighbor of yours the other day in another thread and I was curious about him, so thanks for the timely necro.
It's 106 miles to Chicago, we got a full tank of gas, half a pack of cigarettes, it's dark... and we're wearing sunglasses.
Hit it. Blank Yellow (NSFW)
I hate to say this, but at this point and with the way things are going downhill, death would almost be merciful. Then again, he'll likely find a horrible agonizing way to die.
ø¤ º°`°º¤ø,¸¸,ø¤º°`°º¤ø,¸¸¸,ø¤º°`°º¤ø,¸¸,ø
Quidquid latine dictum sit, altum viditur.
(Whatever is said in Latin sounds profound.)
I like Celine Dion myself. Her ballads alone....they make me go all teary-eyed and shit.
- Havok
Update on my "biggest loser" award winner. He eventually found a mail-order bride from the Philippines, so he is no longer a virgin. However, he is not fucking her; she is fucking him. Specifically, he is now sending a generous portion of every (unimpressive) paycheque to her family in the Philippines so they can buy a house. He is now on the verge of declaring bankruptcy as a result of this arrangement.
He has also given up completely on his ridiculous self-taught bodybuilding regimen, in part because he was doing it all wrong and ended up fucking up his back so badly that he has trouble wiping his own ass after taking a shit. As a result, he looks even worse than he did before (heavy weight gain and loss of what little muscle tone he had).
LMAO...that has to be a record, Mike
Awesome fit for this topic. As for he's not a virgin, I dunno, he may very well still be. They could just be heavy petting .
MM /CF/WG/BOTM/JL/Original Warsie/ACPATHNTDWATGODW FOREVER!!
Sometimes we can choose the path we follow. Sometimes our choices are made for us. And sometimes we have no choice at all
Update on my "biggest loser" award winner. He eventually found a mail-order bride from the Philippines, so he is no longer a virgin. However, he is not fucking her; she is fucking him. Specifically, he is now sending a generous portion of every (unimpressive) paycheque to her family in the Philippines so they can buy a house. He is now on the verge of declaring bankruptcy as a result of this arrangement.
He has also given up completely on his ridiculous self-taught bodybuilding regimen, in part because he was doing it all wrong and ended up fucking up his back so badly that he has trouble wiping his own ass after taking a shit. As a result, he looks even worse than he did before (heavy weight gain and loss of what little muscle tone he had).
Let me guess, he's also no longer a JW? I'm saying this going by the first two lines of your post.
Last edited by Enigma on 2007-11-20 11:25pm, edited 1 time in total.
ASVS('97)/SDN('03)
"Whilst human alchemists refer to the combustion triangle, some of their orcish counterparts see it as more of a hexagon: heat, fuel, air, laughter, screaming, fun." Dawn of the Dragons
So if the thread gets necroed and not locked, does that mean its now fine to post in it again? Because I have a good one....
The older brother of my best friend is approximately 22 or 23, but looks like he's 12. I doubt its his fault, I think something went wrong with the physical part of puberty, but he has a bunch of baby fat that doesn't help matters, because he doesn't give a shit about his appearance.
Anyway, he managed to ruin a house that he was given. My friend's parents moved out of a nice two story house on the outskirts of town with about an acre of land, and into a smaller home that would be easier to maintain. They gave the brother the old home as a place to himself, while they still paid the bills and taxes. That was five years ago, and while it's being renovated now, he had not mowed the lawn in that period of time. The backyard went from being treeless to an extension of a forest behind the house.
He never did any maintenance or repair work on the house. The deck rotted away and collapsed, the paint faded, and the front lawn turned into three foot vegetation.
The inside was even worse. He never took out the trash once in those five years, and had simply created paths through the mounds of garbage. He slept in the basement on a couch with a pile of Gatorade bottles as tall as a person next to it. Mice and vermin were everwhere, and the entire place smelled like death.
The worst however, was the upstairs bathroom. The toilet clogged, but he never plunged it. He simply kept using it until it was full. Then he used the bathtub to piss in, and shit in trash cans. When one got full, he simply bought a new one and left the full one sitting somewhere.
He not only repaid his parent's generosity by ruining their old home, but by stealing their identity as well. He got a credit card in their name, had the bills mailed to his address, and simply never paid them. They finally found out when collectors called them about $8,000 that "they" owed.
They evicted him, pressed charges, and are having the house gutted and rebuilt. That was a few months ago. I don't know what's become of him since then, and I don't care.
I'm only in high school, so this stuff is relatively minor. Anyways, here goes. The biggest loser I know:
-Drives a Mustang to school everyday.... and his mom paid for it.
-Dating an average girl but feels the need to brag about it. To me.
-Constant one-upsmanship. "Yeah, well my cousin is in Iraq working for the CIA leading the hunt for OBL and he tortures and kills people all the time."
-Generally an insecure loser that constantly feels the need to compensate.
-Also, annoying as all hell.
"Have you ever been fucked in the ass? because if you have you will understand why we have that philosophy"
- Alyrium Denryle, on HAB's policy of "Too much is almost enough"
"The jacketed ones are, but we're talking carefully-placed shits here. "-out of context, by Stuart
Dark Flame wrote:I'm only in high school, so this stuff is relatively minor. Anyways, here goes. The biggest loser I know:
-Drives a Mustang to school everyday.... and his mom paid for it.
-Dating an average girl but feels the need to brag about it. To me.
-Constant one-upsmanship. "Yeah, well my cousin is in Iraq working for the CIA leading the hunt for OBL and he tortures and kills people all the time."
-Generally an insecure loser that constantly feels the need to compensate.
-Also, annoying as all hell.
You seem to have a strange definition of loser. Except for some need to compensate nothing you listed really fits.
"It's you Americans. There's something about nipples you hate. If this were Germany, we'd be romping around naked on the stage here."
Jadeite wrote:The inside was even worse. He never took out the trash once in those five years, and had simply created paths through the mounds of garbage. He slept in the basement on a couch with a pile of Gatorade bottles as tall as a person next to it. Mice and vermin were everwhere, and the entire place smelled like death.
The worst however, was the upstairs bathroom. The toilet clogged, but he never plunged it. He simply kept using it until it was full. Then he used the bathtub to piss in, and shit in trash cans. When one got full, he simply bought a new one and left the full one sitting somewhere.
This part, at least, sounds like one of those cases of mentally-ill hoarders that you see in the news every once in awhile. All it needs is 30 or 50 cats living in the place and it matches to a T.
Why is it so goddamned hard to get little assholes like you to admit it when you fuck up? Is it pride? What gives you the right to have any pride?
–Darth Wong to vivftp
GOP message? Why don't they just come out of the closet: FASCISTS R' US –Patrick Degan
The GOP has a problem with anyone coming out of the closet. –18-till-I-die
Darth Wong wrote:He has also given up completely on his ridiculous self-taught bodybuilding regimen, in part because he was doing it all wrong and ended up fucking up his back so badly that he has trouble wiping his own ass after taking a shit. As a result, he looks even worse than he did before (heavy weight gain and loss of what little muscle tone he had).
PICTUREZ PLZ
"If scientists and inventors who develop disease cures and useful technologies don't get lifetime royalties, I'd like to know what fucking rationale you have for some guy getting lifetime royalties for writing an episode of Full House." - Mike Wong
"The present air situation in the Pacific is entirely the result of fighting a fifth rate air power." - U.S. Navy Memo - 24 July 1944
I could write volumes on the various losers I know, picking out the biggest one would mean having to compare and rate their various inadequecies.
I'll list two
The first one that springs to mind is a guy that would be in his thirties now, doesn't seem to be able to hold down a job for longer then 2 months at a time, doesn't show up at jobs for reasons such as "that woman was giving me dirty looks" when asked to help out a familiar member of mine, a builder who was working on the project gave him some instructions on what he needed to do. He found this offensive for some reason and didn't show (kept the money he was given for equipment rental and labour of course.) He's got four kids, a continuously growing pile of unroadworthy cars, no education to speak of, (I'm guessing he might have shown up at a high school once or twice.)
The second one (I'd say a clear winner here) that springs to mind is his father, who I believe I've mentioned before. His other son was telecommunications engineer who died of cancer a while back. He and his family came over from Australia to visit his mother for Christmas who loved in a town that was about a two hour drive away. His father was inviting to come along, he however declined, saying that he couldn't be bothered making the trip, if his son cared he should be making the trip to see him. So basically this pile of filth didn't feel it was worth his time to sit in the back of a car for 2 hours so he could visit his dying son, who passed away the following year.
Thinks junior high students do more work than employed people
Believes that he could get by with a junior high education
Claims that tests are designed to be impossible
Claims that he was not taught everything for various tests that he recieved poor grades for, despite the fact that everyone else manages quite well.
Won't drop something trivial without dragging it out. For instance, he tries to jump to the ceiling, fails, then falls onto a table, hurting himself. Class laughs, and he goes on and on trying to defend his position to the hill.
Frank Hipper wrote:I, along with MANY other people, are convinced he's the one who stole my best friend's money, DVDs, and other valuables from his house while he was DEAD ON THE FUCKING FLOOR! The thought of that piece of shit rifling through my dead friend's pockets makes me insane with anger.
He's really worse than a mere loser, but if the shoe fits.
While he was actually, literally, dead? I've read all the responses and I'm sorry everyone but you can't beat Frank Hipper's guy.
"Show me a commie pilot with some initiative, and I'll show you a Foxbat in Japan."
I got a Family of Losers
Oldest Brother I knew
Smoked Pot during a class trip, has an iq of pond scum, failed intro course.
Brother in my grade
Coated a school wall in banana, makes first brothr look smart, loud and annoying at all times.
Sister
Shee makes the othr two look smart. She has hugeass teeth to make her look like she can't clos her lips, shs stupid, and shes a cheerleader. We're taking bts which steet corner she'll be on in 10 years
seanrobertson wrote: And he has a terrible attitude. Racism, misogyny, and hatred for authority won't get him far.
Thing is, if you have those characteristics, (apart from the misogyny) you can become quite a cult figure among fans of underground metal. Hey, it worked for Varg Vikernes! (And to some extent, Graveland)
Yes, but Varg Vikernes is unfortunately intelligent, and a fairly good writer. Though a lot of the time his rants about the Old Norse religion makes me go Then of course there's the obsession with the Jews... ah well.
I dunno if Varg Vikernes can count as a loser since he's not only intelligent, but also has some skill at making money. Then again he's in jail, and sentanced to pay $2.5M in reperations.
I'm honestly having a tough time coming up with one. I was running through my list of friends, and literally all of them are college-educated professionals with good jobs. There is this one kid, though, who's an acquaintance through a friend, who was a pretty big fuckup.
His highest aspiration for a while was working the plumbing section at Home Depot. Since he kept getting speeding tickets, he couldn't afford car insurance, so he had to walk/hitch everywhere. He'd drink booze every night, was going bald at 21, and yet somehow managed to have the most powerful computer I'd ever seen.
There was one particular instance which I've always remembered. My friend and he were apartment-mates for a year, and one night, my friend in his room at his computer. He heard the main door slam, and this kid came in to his room, and said the following.
"I threw up at the gym. I threw up on the bus. I threw up so hard walking home that I shit my pants. I'm gonna go take a shower."
To me, that encapsulates the misery that was his life. After my friend moved out, the guy went on to get a DWI and wound up sleeping on his sister's couch for a while. He seems to to have turned things around, though. He's got a real job that pays well, his own apartment, and seems to, last I heard, behave at least a little responsibly.
"There is a principle which is a bar against all information, which is proof against all arguments and which cannot fail to keep a man in everlasting ignorance--that principle is contempt prior to investigation." -Herbert Spencer
"Against stupidity the gods themselves contend in vain." - Schiller, Die Jungfrau von Orleans, III vi.
My ex-roommate and ex-friend, currently incarcerated in Federal Pound-Me-In-The-Ass prison until at least 2013 (see below). A quick (and incomplete) list of the shit he's pulled over the years:
(1) Traded and collected an enormous amount of online child pornography (estimated at well over 10,000 photos and over 2,000 videos). When he was busted by the Feds in a sting, he kept trying to say he was 'accumulating evidence' for a sting of his own. At trial, he broke down bawling and blamed his mother for making him the way he was before the bailiff dragged him away. Also blamed his ex-girlfriend and her husband for 'turning him out', even though they practically GAVE him a home of his own (a trailer), that he never paid a cent on, in either bills or rent.
(2) Claimed he was a 'real man' because he got his then-girlfriend pregnant, even though, at the time, neither of them had a steady job or source of income. His quote: "I've proven MY manhood, motherfuckers!"
(3) Despite knocking up his ex, in the thirteen years since, he has paid ZERO child support.
(4) Made 'cock-blocking' an Olympic sport, to the point that he would spread lies and rumors about us (his friends) to 'poison the well' when we were talking to women.
(5) Was kicked out of the Air Force, supposedly for bad checks (he was in a security position, as a translator), but we later found out that he was also banging the wife of his superior officer.
(6) Never really had a permanent address; would stay with various girlfriends, but always ended up back in his parents' basement.
(7) He asked us to help him move. We (and he) knew for three weeks when the move was happening; that Saturday, we all showed up-- and he had packed up NOTHING. He had a bunch of boxes waiting, and asked, "Uh, could you help me pack, too?"
( 8 ) Was fucking the wife of a friend (and calling it a 'fling'; when pressed, he got defensive and said, "We're not sleeping together; we had a fling" and left it at that), while still hanging out with the guy, laughing and having fun at his expense. Not only that, but when things went sour, he tried to divert attention by attempting to break up ANOTHER relationship amongst friends. I confronted this jackass after everything blew up, and asked, "Didn't you think there might be something wrong with fucking the wife of a supposed friend, while taking advantage of the man's hospitality?" He just shrugged and said, "I consider them separate issues".
(9) Wrecked not one, not two, but THREE cars belonging to his ex-girlfriend, all on th every same two-mile stretch of road! He also wrecked his OWN car in the same spot.
(10) Since he didn't have a vehicle, he relied on friends to transport him... but never offered a DIME of gas money or any sort of recompense. He just assumed that we would be there to help him, and threw an enormous fit when people stopped.
(11) Once proudly walked up to me, carrying a bookbag, then dumped its contents out in front of me. Hundreds of pieces of fading, tightly folded paper fell out, at which point, he exclaimed, "I saved every note I was ever passed in high school!"
(12) Was creepily, overly interested in the sexuality and dating habits of his younger sisters, to the point that he would take them lingerie shopping ("for their boyfriends", he would say), and even helped get his youngest sister (he was 25 at the time, she was 14) drunk and stoned at a party, saying, "I'd rather her do drugs in my presence, where I can make sure nothing happens to her.")
There's a hell of a lot more, but these are the highlights. A real loser, and a bigger scumbag.
I don't like being a bastard, but they leave me no choice.
Frank Hipper wrote:I, along with MANY other people, are convinced he's the one who stole my best friend's money, DVDs, and other valuables from his house while he was DEAD ON THE FUCKING FLOOR! The thought of that piece of shit rifling through my dead friend's pockets makes me insane with anger.
He's really worse than a mere loser, but if the shoe fits.
While he was actually, literally, dead? I've read all the responses and I'm sorry everyone but you can't beat Frank Hipper's guy.
Yes, he was literally dead.
Died in his sleep at the age of 35.
What makes this so incomprehensibly vile is that my friend who passed away was just about the only person who didn't hate the subject in question; he was practically the only human being who ever befriended the piece of shit, yet he stole from his corpse.
I said that because I initially thought it slang for dead drunk, which would still be fucking outrageous. That's jaw-dropping but sickeningly I have to amend my statement in light of The_Cooler_King's guy's paedophilia. Yeuch.
Last edited by DavidEC on 2007-11-21 10:40am, edited 1 time in total.
"Show me a commie pilot with some initiative, and I'll show you a Foxbat in Japan."
.
And I'm serious.
The thought of that piece of shit rifling through my dead friend's pockets makes me insane with anger. 
Then of course there's the obsession with the Jews... ah well.
