What would The Devil drive??

Post by **haas mark** » 2003-01-17 05:23am

Anything fast and cool, because thats against the Bible. Temptation includes cool things... and the Devil tempts... so...

Peregrin Toker · Post by **Peregrin Toker** » 2003-01-17 11:09am

By the way, didn't he drive a heavily modified Lincoln Continental in the 1977 movie The Car??

RedImperator · Post by **RedImperator** » 2003-01-17 11:21am

I'm with Raoul Duke. Satan would drive a big black luxury car. Satan is suave. Satan is smooth. Satan is refined. A Cadillac El Dorado is all of these things. A Caddy is for a guy in an Armani suit smoking a Cuban cigar listening to Vivaldi. If it's a stretch limo, the minibar will be stocked with 30 year old Scotch and $200 bottles of Bordeaux.

Compare all this to a Lambourghini Diablo, a car with all the subtlety of a Pershing missile and the styling of an atomic cheese wedge. Sure it's fast, but speed is no substitute for style. Diablos are for guys in leopard print pants with their shirts unbuttoned to their navels. A Cadillac driver takes his date to his suite in the Plaza after properly seducing her. A Diablo driver gets his cock sucked by a trendy club whore while he does 150 on the I-5.

salm · Post by **salm** » 2003-01-17 07:31pm

59 corvette stingray

neoolong · Post by **neoolong** » 2003-01-17 07:41pm

But how can Satan fit in something so small?

Singular Quartet · Post by **Singular Quartet** » 2003-01-17 07:54pm

According to most sources I've read, lucifer doesn't know how to drive, but one of his demons drives a 1927 Bently.

Cookie for the first person to get the refrence.

neoolong · Post by **neoolong** » 2003-01-17 08:05pm

Singuler Quartet wrote:According to most sources I've read, lucifer doesn't know how to drive, but one of his demons drives a 1927 Bently.

Cookie for the first person to get the refrence.

Is that from Good Omens?

Singular Quartet · Post by **Singular Quartet** » 2003-01-17 08:17pm

neoolong wrote:
Singuler Quartet wrote:According to most sources I've read, lucifer doesn't know how to drive, but one of his demons drives a 1927 Bently.

Cookie for the first person to get the refrence.
Is that from Good Omens?

Very good.

Have a cookie:

neoolong · Post by **neoolong** » 2003-01-17 08:23pm

[Homer]Mmmmm. Cookie.[/Homer]

Peregrin Toker · Post by **Peregrin Toker** » 2003-01-18 04:01pm

RedImperator wrote:I'm with Raoul Duke. Satan would drive a big black luxury car. Satan is suave. Satan is smooth. Satan is refined. A Cadillac El Dorado is all of these things. A Caddy is for a guy in an Armani suit smoking a Cuban cigar listening to Vivaldi. If it's a stretch limo, the minibar will be stocked with 30 year old Scotch and $200 bottles of Bordeaux.

Or what about the souped-up Lincoln which he allegedly drove in The Car??? However, in another "killer car" flick, Wheels Of Terror, he drove a beaten-up 1974 Dodge Charger. Why the Z'xulth such a refined daemon would drive such a vehicle is beyond me, as the Dodge Charger has even less subtlety than a Pershing missile.

The Dark · Post by **The Dark** » 2003-01-18 04:29pm

salm wrote:59 corvette stingray

70 chevelle ss454. 450 horsepower, 500 ft.lb. torque. stock quarter mile in 13.4 at 103.01 mph, much faster when given good tires and a more open carb. about 3400 pounds of car that can hit 130 fairly easily.

RedImperator · Post by **RedImperator** » 2003-01-18 04:30pm

A Lincoln is acceptable. Do not, under any circumstances, however, think the Devil drives a pimp car.

InnerBrat · Post by **InnerBrat** » 2003-01-18 08:54pm

Hang on...

Who syas he only drives one car?

He's the Devil guys... he drives whatever he feels like out of his 100-strong garage.

Peregrin Toker · Post by **Peregrin Toker** » 2003-01-19 04:19am

RedImperator wrote:A Lincoln is acceptable. Do not, under any circumstances, however, think the Devil drives a pimp car.

When has a beaten-up Dodge Charger been a pimp car??

RedImperator · Post by **RedImperator** » 2003-01-19 11:26am

Never. I was referring to the fact that Lincolns, especially some of the monstrosities that came out of the mid-70s to be pimp cars. I drove a '74 T-bird, essentially the sister car to the Lincoln Continental, and that car was one ground effects kit and a purple paint job short of cruising down South Street with a full load of ho's and me in a giant fedora and pink feather boa.

A beat up Dodge Charger is simply beneath contempt. The Prince of Lies does NOT drive what Jeb and all his kin would fix up on the lawn on Saturday afternoon.

Raoul Duke, Jr. · Post by **Raoul Duke, Jr.** » 2003-01-19 02:56pm

A Cadillac driver takes his date to his suite in the Plaza after properly seducing her. A Diablo driver gets his cock sucked by a trendy club whore while he does 150 on the I-5.

RedImperator, I see I've been a bad influence on you...

[/quote]

RedImperator · Post by **RedImperator** » 2003-01-19 09:05pm

Raoul Duke, Jr. wrote:
A Cadillac driver takes his date to his suite in the Plaza after properly seducing her. A Diablo driver gets his cock sucked by a trendy club whore while he does 150 on the I-5.
RedImperator, I see I've been a bad influence on you...

[/quote]

What can I say? I hit 500 posts and I just came out of my shell.

Besides, I realized your logic was airtight, once I thought it over a bit.

Ewo · Post by **Ewo** » 2003-01-20 12:15am

I don't know what Satan is driving (I would have to go with the lamborghini diablo) but all the people going to hell are driving stupid SUVs.

Sriad · Post by **Sriad** » 2003-01-20 05:48am

innerbrat wrote:Hang on...

Who syas he only drives one car?

He's the Devil guys... he drives whatever he feels like out of his 100-strong garage.

Very true... I think this is more about what his favorite car is, and in what general direction his collection tends than trying to assign him any one vehicle.
I'm thinking...maybe a custom Bugatti? I bet you could do it up to look pretty bad ass and suave simultaniously. But let's face it, anything looks badass at 250 mph.
http://www.vwvortex.com/news/09_01/bugatti/index.shtml

Peregrin Toker · Post by **Peregrin Toker** » 2003-01-21 12:02pm

RedImperator wrote:Never. I was referring to the fact that Lincolns, especially some of the monstrosities that came out of the mid-70s to be pimp cars. I drove a '74 T-bird, essentially the sister car to the Lincoln Continental, and that car was one ground effects kit and a purple paint job short of cruising down South Street with a full load of ho's and me in a giant fedora and pink feather boa.

Yeah, but isn't the Lincoln Continental Mk4 have a bit more dignity than the T-Bird, which was more sport-oriented???

Majin Gojira · Post by **Majin Gojira** » 2003-01-21 12:33pm

Satan drives an electric Scooter. now THAT's Evil, with a capitol E, and that rhymes with P and that stands for Pool!

neoolong · Post by **neoolong** » 2003-01-21 01:05pm

Majin Gojira wrote:Satan drives an electric Scooter. now THAT's Evil, with a capitol E, and that rhymes with P and that stands for Pool!

What about a Segway?

Post by **The Yosemite Bear** » 2003-01-21 01:45pm

No, the Beat up Dodge Charger is being driven by Bealzabubba, the demon responsible for Trailer Parks and Rev. Phelps.....

VF5SS · Post by **VF5SS** » 2003-01-21 03:09pm

The most evil car in existence: A Volvo station wagon diesel!

Admiral Valdemar · Post by **Admiral Valdemar** » 2003-01-21 03:55pm

A large mobile home that drives at 20mph, blocks two full lanes almost and is totally able to stop any kind of taking over.

It would have to be an American vehicle because it has to be a) big enough to justify the penis envy syndrome with American cars and Satan b) guzzle more "gas" than most Arab states consume in a Jihad and c) hold a pimp mobile within it and have a personal helicopter landing pad and 3,000km cable TV extension.

Oh, anti-Fundie bumper stickers are a bonus.