Rest In Peace, Fuzzy (1994-2007)

[Ritterin Sophia]

My condolences for your loss.

[Darth Wong]

Thanks for all your notices of sympathy, everyone. I'm still adjusting to life without my old friend Fuzzy. I find that it's worst at night; I keep getting up and thinking "Oh no, I forgot to take him out before I went to bed!" and then I remember that he's gone.

I shit you not when I say that at this point, I would gladly drop $10,000 for the privilege of seeing him alive just one more time, even if it's only for a few minutes. But of course, that won't happen. I went out today and bought one of those LCD picture frames so that I could have a slide-show of Fuzzy's pictures on my mantle. I'm not sure if it makes me feel better or worse.

I don't know if I'm wallowing in my own grief or if this is normal.

[Spin Echo]

My condolences.

Thanks for all your notices of sympathy, everyone. I'm still adjusting to life without my old friend Fuzzy. I find that it's worst at night; I keep getting up and thinking "Oh no, I forgot to take him out before I went to bed!" and then I remember that he's gone.

I know exactly what you mean. After my family's dog passed away, it was like there was a yorkie shaped hole in my life.

[MKSheppard]

Our beloved dog Fuzzy died today at noon. He went into cardiac arrest at the local animal hospital after a bout with a bacterial infection. At least the cancer never got him, and he was not in pain when he died.

Sorry to hear that. How are the kids taking it?

[CaptHawkeye]

Thanks for all your notices of sympathy, everyone. I'm still adjusting to life without my old friend Fuzzy. I find that it's worst at night; I keep getting up and thinking "Oh no, I forgot to take him out before I went to bed!" and then I remember that he's gone.

I don't know if I'm wallowing in my own grief or if this is normal.

It's perfectly normal. When my dog died, everyone in my family was doing the same thing. Thinking we had to take him out, when he wasn't there anymore. We were even halucinating him lieing in the corner or rolled up on the rug. The house felt empty, and creepy, without his nightly patrols or barking at squirrels.

[Alferd Packer]

I don't know if I'm wallowing in my own grief or if this is normal.

Wallowing in one's own grief, as I understand it, is normal, and it passes in time. That's certainly been my experience.

[Lagmonster]

I don't know if I'm wallowing in my own grief or if this is normal.

Your behaviour is most assuredly normal. My cousin, a country vet outside of Guelph, tells me that people who lose a favourite dog will often put up pictures of the family pet alongside pictures of children and family, and many will refuse to get a new dog whose breed or colour matches that of the lost pet so as to not feel they are trying to so obviously replace the lost family member.

If you have confused feelings when grieving a valued pet, it very well could be an emotional tug-of-war between our practical side which identifies dogs as servants and property, versus our compassionate side which identifies dogs as our family and friends.

[Chardok]

Thanks for all your notices of sympathy, everyone. I'm still adjusting to life without my old friend Fuzzy. I find that it's worst at night; I keep getting up and thinking "Oh no, I forgot to take him out before I went to bed!" and then I remember that he's gone.

I shit you not when I say that at this point, I would gladly drop $10,000 for the privilege of seeing him alive just one more time, even if it's only for a few minutes. But of course, that won't happen. I went out today and bought one of those LCD picture frames so that I could have a slide-show of Fuzzy's pictures on my mantle. I'm not sure if it makes me feel better or worse.

I don't know if I'm wallowing in my own grief or if this is normal.

I want to cry for you Mike. It's perfectly normal. When I found out my dog died, I was literally wailing. I couldn't control it. I had read about people wailing at funerals and never understood it until I lost my Lacey.

I know, now is about you and your loss, not our past, but I just want you to know that in your situation, I would be inconsolable as well. I would recommend against the picture frame for now. Let things "Scab over" before you fondly recall him. right now, the pain of his loss is going to overpower what you should be feeling, which is happiness at the thought of the good times you all have had together.

I wish you all the best Mike, I wish I could do more.

[Darth Servo]

Its normal Mike. My family had a Sheltie for several years. I moved out of the parents home when she was 11. She died about five years later. I still find myself subconsciously looking for her in all her favorite spots in the house whenever I visit mom and dad.

[chitoryu12]

My deepest condolences. Every one one of my pets has died over the years. I know what it's like.

I'm also sad because I loved the pictures you had of him on your personal page. I have never seen a cuter dog than him.

[Darth Wong]

Well, I suppose it's good to hear that I'm not losing my marbles. As for the guys who asked how the rest of my family is taking it, my boys cried a lot the first day, but they seem to be adjusting to the new reality faster than my wife or I am. Rebecca is taking it particularly hard.

[TheFeniX]

The death of my mom's toy poodle Jake hit our family pretty hard. We got him when I was five, and he died at around 15 years of age. My mom was torn up for weeks. I'd come home to visit and look for him lying on his pillow in front of the fireplace. When I didn't see the pillow anymore I would just not say anything for a few minutes, until the realization would hit. I would say things didn't get back to normal until about a month afterwards. 15 years... he was a part of the family.

I remember my mom calling me about it when I was on my way back from a jobsite. I pulled over on the side of the road and just stared at my steering wheel for about 15 minutes. I remember getting back to the office and just being out of it. My coworker managed to say the millionth stupid thing in his life "What's the big deal, it's just an animal? Just buy another one." My boss did a pretty cool thing and gave me the rest of the day off (He's actually a dog owner, unlike my coworker).

The saddest part was how hard it hit our Golden Retriever Hali. When my mom filled the food bowl, Hali would always let Jake eat first. For about 2 weeks she'd just sit in front of the food bowl and look around the kitchen. Seeing the look in her eye as she stood there waiting was the emotional equivalent of getting punched in the stomach.

I'm sorry for your loss. It's just not an easy thing to get through. And anyone who thinks you're taking it too hard doesn't know what they're talking about.

[Rye]

We've had lots of old dogs that have died, and it never gets easy. It's such a shame and you have my sympathies. It is trite, but people usually tell me to remember the good times and I end up with a smile in the grief. It seems to work with me anyway, so I'd recommend the same to you.

[Darth Wong]

I'm starting to feel better, if only because I've decided on what I'm going to do in order to honour his memory. I'm going to take a page from my own ancestors and make a little shrine to him somewhere in my house, the way people in China often keep a shrine for their own ancestors.

I don't like the idea of periodically visiting a cold, sterile tombstone, which is the customary western way of honouring the dead. An homage to a lost loved one should be a pleasant, warm place close to where you live.

[FSTargetDrone]

I'm starting to feel better, if only because I've decided on what I'm going to do in order to honour his memory. I'm going to take a page from my own ancestors and make a little shrine to him somewhere in my house, the way people in China often keep a shrine for their own ancestors.

I don't like the idea of periodically visiting a cold, sterile tombstone, which is the customary western way of honouring the dead. An homage to a lost loved one should be a pleasant, warm place close to where you live.

Sounds like a good idea. A friend of mine recently lost a cat (to old age) that she'd had for over 15 years. She and her husband buried his remains in the back yard and when the weather improves they are going to plant a flowering bush over the spot.

Maybe you could ask the other members of your family for additional ideas to honor your dog's memory. That way each person can contribute and make it all the more meaningful for everyone, especially since I presume your kids have grown up with the dog always being there.

[Kanastrous]

Condolences.

I recently lost Grendel, my cat of 13 years.

It's no fun, parting ways with a favorite.

FWIW I found Grendel a good spot up in the mountains, around 5,000 feet near a tree off an old fire road. Great view. I hope that when my time comes, they plant me somewhere as nice.

[Darth Wong]

I think simply deciding to honour his memory has improved my state of mind somewhat. Before I made that decision, I was lost and confused about what I wanted. Was I trying to get over it? Was I trying to replace him? Was I trying to hang onto him? Was I in denial? I didn't know what the hell I wanted to do, and every time I thought about trying to get over his loss, I felt as if I was somehow betraying him by doing so. When the three words "honour his memory" came into my head, it felt like those swirling emotions crystallized. I finally knew what I needed to do, and it felt right.

[The Duchess of Zeon]

It is a very beautiful thing to do. When our dog Susie died at the age of eighteen (she'd been raised alongside me, pretty much, bought out of a basket in front of a supermarket when I was an infant), my father took her collar--all covered in her hair, that she'd worn for years--and put it prominently in his bedroom/office, hanging from one of the upper drawer handles that wasn't used. For some reason, that was strangely comforting; you could see it there and rest easy in her continued presence, in a sense.

I'm very sorry, Mike, nonetheless. I know how it feels. Once my dogs and cats all had passed on, the last cat in 2006, well, I don't have any pets now, and I'm not sure if I can again. Not for a long time, anyway.

[The Yosemite Bear]

sorry to hear he had died...

my Grandpa's bulldog died in a house fire he's never recovered from that either.

My parent's have two cats right now, who were both kittens when my parent's resuced them 12 years ago.....

[Edi]

Sorry to get to this thread so late, but you have my deepest condolences, Mike.

Losing pets is always hard. I still miss the pet rabbit I had 15 years ago and all the others since. One of our two cats was really, really sick a few days ago and scared both me and the GF nearly to death. Fortunately he's better now, but when he dies, hopefully years and years from now, it's going to be complete hell.

[WesFox13]

Hey Mike, the way I dealt with my grief about about my dog was the part of my brain saying, "that there was nothing I could do about it and that was that.". I already knew that death was an inevitability, even from a young age. I know it sounds grim but I let reality really sink in for about a few days and eventually I got over it after about a Week of Woody's death.

The single fact that I knew that death was an inevitability helped me have a shorter grief period, than most. I just see death as an ugly fact of life we just have to accept. Death in my mind is the big equalizer, no matter how rich or powerful you are, or how poor you are, how good or evil you are, everyone dies sometime.

[j1j2j3]

I'm so sorry. It really is hard losing a family member. But take comfort in the fact that Fuzzy had a good life and went away peacefully.

We also had a had a beagle(We don't eat all our pets here in Korea, contrary to some opinions) that got run over by a hit and run asshole and I couldn't get over it for weeks.

And about Rebecca taking it the worst it usually is, because she probably spent the most time with Fuzzy.

Anyway my condolences and hope you go through with the shrine idea!

[Fleet Admiral JD]

My condolences. I've lost four cats myself, two of which were absolute favorites of mine and my family's.

Hope all's well with you and your family.

[Darth Wong]

Thanks again for the kind words.

My kids have gone their divergent ways on this. David says he misses Fuzzy, and he thinks that getting another dog will make him feel better. Matthew, on the other hand, thinks that getting another dog would be a really bad idea, and he doesn't want another dog for a long time.

[Master of Ossus]

I shit you not when I say that at this point, I would gladly drop $10,000 for the privilege of seeing him alive just one more time, even if it's only for a few minutes. But of course, that won't happen. I went out today and bought one of those LCD picture frames so that I could have a slide-show of Fuzzy's pictures on my mantle. I'm not sure if it makes me feel better or worse.

I don't know if I'm wallowing in my own grief or if this is normal.

That all seems pretty normal. Losing someone this close, who has such a big role in our lives, is really hard and you can't expect to get over it overnight. The picture frame may be helpful, but I think you might want to put in some pictures of your family with it, too, just to remind yourself of the people who you still have in life. Ideally, pick out some pictures of the family having fun with Fuzzy. If Fuzzy was anything like how I picture him, he'd like it that way, too.