Star Trek Crew vs. Planet of Dinosaurs

[Majin Gojira]

So, I'm watching the film "Planet of Dinosaurs" (Really, watch it only for stop motion dinosaurs, it's REALLY shitty), and it has one of the most incompetent space-crews I have ever seen.

So, I thought, "Would a Trek Crew do any better?"

Basics: The crew has at least 1 to 5 minutes (depends on how generous you want to be with the saps) to evacuate their ship before it detonates (reactor "malfunction"), setting down on the planet. It is similar to earth, but 'more primitive', and generated similar life forms (IE: the Dinosaurs).

And, for some reason, they are particularly resistant to energy weapons (or the crew had the crappiest laser in all of sci-fi, but let's assume that it's an innate quality of the animal's scaly hides). So, here, the phasers can cause them pain, but little else for some (technobable) reason.

Prehistoric hazards include "Brontosaurus" (large sauropod, dumb as a postwood), Stegosaurs, Pentaceratops (aggressive defenders of nests), Dromiciomimus (crafty optortunists), Nanotyrannus (small therapod), Giant Spiders (a foot wide and aggressive), Mososaurs (aquatic hazards), Small Ankylosaurs (Don't pester and they won't thwak you), Desert dwarf Rhedosaurs (15ft long version of the Beast from 20,000 Fathoms), and a T-Rex with horror-movie killer-like cunning.

There's also large, poisonous red berries.

Objective: Survive until a rescue comes in a year's time...if they're lucky.

Questions to answer: How many evacuate? What supplies to they manage to bring with them? Can they survive?

[Nieztchean Uber-Amoeba]

Star Trek crews have experience fighting dinosaurs. Thus, the Engineering department is tasked with making an armoury of bamboo bazookas and Star Fleet rests easy and full of lizardmeat.

[Sidewinder]

Star Trek crews have experience fighting dinosaurs. Thus, the Engineering department is tasked with making an armoury of bamboo bazookas and Star Fleet rests easy and full of lizardmeat.

I'm assuming you're being sarcastic-- I certainly don't recall Starfleet personnel engaging dinos, with the possible exception of the Gorn. Bamboo rockets might scare off some dinos, but to my knowledge, they weren't very effective when the ancient Chinese used them as weapons. If they have skilled engineers, they MIGHT be able to convert phasers into grenade launchers, with spare power packs modified to be grenades-- of course, I'm just a gun pornographer with NO idea whether or not this would work.

[FA Xerrik]

It seems like phasers will be more useful as a survival tool here than as a weapon. Which is fortunate, because they're probably better as survival tools in general than as weapons. Transporters should allow for a pretty efficient evacuation of the crew, barring a plasmogenic field generated from the dinosaurs or a funky property of the dirt that blocks the transport signal or something like that. Additionally, shuttlecraft could prove very useful while they last, especially if the crew manages to remove some maintenance gear in their limited time. Worst case scenario sees a good chunk of the crew stuck on the surface with perhaps a handful of phasers between them. If anyone lasts a year, it's probably because the dinosaurs haven't gotten around to eating them yet.

If we give the Trek crew a little bit of credit, and perhaps a bigger chunk of that 5 minutes than seems likely, they could probably do alright for themselves. I think shuttlecraft especially will be their biggest asset in surviving, since they would provide a durable shelter even after they've lost power. I can't imagine the dinosaurs could pierce a shuttlecraft, so they could provide shelters or barricades against all but the most determined assault. Redshirts will provide adequate test rats for which berries are toxic and which are edible.

Is there anything on this planet besides dinosaurs which could be killed for meat? Or any food supplies period beyond those toxic berries? Food seems to be the determining factor on whether anyone survives a year. Perhaps crafting weapons which can hurt a dinosaur, though if their hide resists phasers they'd need one hell of a catapult to do it.

[Nieztchean Uber-Amoeba]

I'm assuming you're being sarcastic-- I certainly don't recall Starfleet personnel engaging dinos, with the possible exception of the Gorn.

And those were dinosaurs with fully functioning limbs, thumbs, and, err, 360' vision, I guess?

Bamboo rockets might scare off some dinos, but to my knowledge, they weren't very effective when the ancient Chinese used them as weapons.

Who cares how the Chinese did it? Kirk managed to wound the Gorn captain real good, and that was in a wasteland environment while on the run. And he didn't even have any background or interest in engineering or chemistry, leading us to conclude that hand-made bazookas and other silly survival techniques are taught at Starfleet Academy.

If they have skilled engineers, they MIGHT be able to convert phasers into grenade launchers, with spare power packs modified to be grenades-- of course, I'm just a gun pornographer with NO idea whether or not this would work.

As we've seen in Voyager, a phaser can be converted into just about anything, from forcefield to feedback loop. Much like the Infinity Gauntlet, the phaser is a device limited only by the power of the writers' imaginations.

[Majin Gojira]

Is there anything on this planet besides dinosaurs which could be killed for meat?

I only listed what was shown in the film. Given that it took from commonly known mesozoic fauna, it is possible there are others.

Food seems to be the determining factor on whether anyone survives a year. Perhaps crafting weapons which can hurt a dinosaur, though if their hide resists phasers they'd need one hell of a catapult to do it.

Actually, there hides, while regularly tough, are pericible by stone/wooden tools. It's just that they have (technobable) energy resistance.

For an example, the music video for Death to Our Enemies uses the stop-motion effects from the film, including an energy resitance shot and a 'peirced by spear' shot.

Though, it didn't peirce very deep.

[Sidewinder]

Bamboo rockets might scare off some dinos, but to my knowledge, they weren't very effective when the ancient Chinese used them as weapons.

Who cares how the Chinese did it?

How the Chinese "did it" with bamboo rockets is relevant because it gives us an idea of how well a weapon, consisting of gunpowder or other propellents stuffed into a bamboo tube, will work. (To my knowledge, the flash and bang of bamboo rockets were effective in shocking or scaring the enemy and their horses, but not effective in causing physical damage, unless a lucky shot manages to set something on fire.)

Kirk managed to wound the Gorn captain real good, and that was in a wasteland environment while on the run. And he didn't even have any background or interest in engineering or chemistry, leading us to conclude that hand-made bazookas and other silly survival techniques are taught at Starfleet Academy. :lol:

I didn't see that episode, although I am aware of it. How did Kirk defeat the Gorn, anyways?

[Gullible Jones]

He built a cannon and shot it.

No, I'm not kidding.

[Nieztchean Uber-Amoeba]

How the Chinese "did it" with bamboo rockets is relevant because it gives us an idea of how well a weapon, consisting of gunpowder or other propellents stuffed into a bamboo tube, will work. (To my knowledge, the flash and bang of bamboo rockets were effective in shocking or scaring the enemy and their horses, but not effective in causing physical damage, unless a lucky shot manages to set something on fire.)

The Chinese are about as relevant as wondering about how the Japanese katana would do in a situation with wood when you're using a Scottish claymore on wood and have perfectly good evidence already about how well a claymore would do on wood. We know Star Fleet officers can make bamboo rockets, even ones with absolutely no technical background, and that they are, in fact, quite lethal, and easily crafted together from basic materials.

I didn't see that episode, although I am aware of it. How did Kirk defeat the Gorn, anyways?

He found a piece of bamboo, a diamond, some charcoal, saltpeter, etc. in the barren wasteland Savannah he found himself in, then built a cannon and inflicted a lethal wound from range on the Gorn with it. This Gorn is a creature which previous ignored completely being struck with logs and stones, IIRC, and it tossed boulders around as if they were made of styrofoam. So it was probably actually stronger and tougher than most of the dinosaurs on this planet.

[Styphon]

First off: a more directly relevant Gorn youtube link.

And, off of that, I call bullshit: I don't see a massively fucked up Gorn, I just see a Gorn that got knocked out for a minute with a diamond lodged in its skin... and a blown up cannon.

Lastly, and least importantly: I thought Planet of the Dinosaurs was the one with the Styracosaurus and the Kentrosaurus in it.

[Majin Gojira]

Lastly, and least importantly: I thought Planet of the Dinosaurs was the one with the Styracosaurus and the Kentrosaurus in it.

Well, the ceratopsian in question is in the video, I mis-ided it really as a Pentaceratops. Thouhg, I don't recall a Kentrosaur, though it may have been a Polocanthus-like ankylosaur you are recalling.

[Styphon]

The Styracosaurus I directly recalled... the Kentrosaurus was misinformation after trying to google around for confirmation on the Styracosaurus.

Also, I'm now going to waste several hours trying to google the proper rules for when you use Styracosaur and when you use Styracosaurus because I honestly can't remember and have the faint suspicion that I'm doing it wrong.