Man struggles to return from the dead

Wanderer · Post by **Wanderer** » 2008-01-30 11:51am

Tue Jan 29, 9:09 AM ET

WARSAW (Reuters) - Red tape is preventing a Polish man from returning from the dead.

Piotr Kucy, 38 and from the city of Polkowice in southwest Poland, was wrongly identified by authorities last August as a drowned man, only to show up a few days after his own funeral.

Despite pointing out the fact that he was alive to government officials, Kucy still remains dead in official records, stopping him from working and paying social insurance.

But on the bright side, a local newspaper reported on Tuesday, he no longer needs to pay taxes.

"We are nearly through January, and my documents still say I'm dead," Kucy told Gazeta Wyborcza, adding: "It's a bit of a joke." But a registry office official was adamant about the situation. "This citizen does not exist," she told the paper.

(Writing by Barbara Sladkowska, editing by Peter Millership)

CaptainChewbacca · Post by **CaptainChewbacca** » 2008-01-30 12:52pm

He should start committing crimes. If he doesn't exist, he can't be charged, right?

Ooh... but that also means he has no legal protection under law...

Bounty · Post by **Bounty** » 2008-01-30 01:13pm

Ooh... but that also means he has no legal protection under law...

Why wouldn't he? If he's a victim of a crime he'd just be considered an illegal immigrant, but even they are protected under the law.

Adrian Laguna · Post by **Adrian Laguna** » 2008-01-30 01:32pm

That reminds me of how in Venezuela to collect social security you need your state-issued ID and a certificate from a doctor confirming you're alive. I suspect it's a measure against zombies and vampires mooching off the state.

Eris · Post by **Eris** » 2008-01-30 01:44pm

Bounty wrote:
Ooh... but that also means he has no legal protection under law...
Why wouldn't he? If he's a victim of a crime he'd just be considered an illegal immigrant, but even they are protected under the law.

Filthy liberal lies, I assure you.

And I can't believe no one's said this yet, but... maybe he should consider spending a year dead for tax reasons?

Xisiqomelir · Post by **Xisiqomelir** » 2008-01-30 01:57pm

Eris wrote:
Bounty wrote:
Ooh... but that also means he has no legal protection under law...
Why wouldn't he? If he's a victim of a crime he'd just be considered an illegal immigrant, but even they are protected under the law.
Filthy liberal lies, I assure you.

And I can't believe no one's said this yet, but... maybe he should consider spending a year dead for tax reasons?

+rep for Douglas Adams reference.

Post by **Sea Skimmer** » 2008-01-30 02:42pm

CaptainChewbacca wrote:He should start committing crimes. If he doesn't exist, he can't be charged, right?

Ooh... but that also means he has no legal protection under law...

I'd strongly suspect desecration of a corpse or grave is illegal in Poland, so he’s not totally without protection.

Tsyroc · Post by **Tsyroc** » 2008-01-30 02:50pm

Sea Skimmer wrote:
CaptainChewbacca wrote:He should start committing crimes. If he doesn't exist, he can't be charged, right?

Ooh... but that also means he has no legal protection under law...
I'd strongly suspect desecration of a corpse or grave is illegal in Poland, so he’s not totally without protection.

Just think if someone has sex with him while he's "dead".

Molyneux · Post by **Molyneux** » 2008-01-30 02:56pm

Just wondering...but is it considered unkind to make a Polish joke if one is oneself of Polish descent?

CaptainChewbacca · Post by **CaptainChewbacca** » 2008-01-30 03:13pm

Sea Skimmer wrote:
CaptainChewbacca wrote:He should start committing crimes. If he doesn't exist, he can't be charged, right?

Ooh... but that also means he has no legal protection under law...
I'd strongly suspect desecration of a corpse or grave is illegal in Poland, so he’s not totally without protection.

Yes, but does he meet the legal definition of a corpse?

Oni Koneko Damien · Post by **Oni Koneko Damien** » 2008-01-30 10:26pm

"I'm not dead!"

PeZook · Post by **PeZook** » 2008-01-31 02:28am

Molyneux wrote:Just wondering...but is it considered unkind to make a Polish joke if one is oneself of Polish descent?

I say them all the time

Post by **Sea Skimmer** » 2008-01-31 02:40am

PeZook wrote: I say them all the time

Same here. How do you stop a Polish tank?
Shoot the people who are pushing it

PeZook · Post by **PeZook** » 2008-01-31 03:17am

Sea Skimmer wrote: Same here. How do you stop a Polish tank?
Shoot the people who are pushing it

Feh, this one's old. Personally, I like the one about the Devil and two bearing balls better.

The Devil welcomed a German,a Russian and a Pole in hell. Because he was bored, he gave them a task:

"Each one of you will get two bearing balls from me. The one to make the most impressive trick with them will be released from Hell."

After a week, the Devil comes to check on his prisoners.

The Russian threw one ball into the air, and then hit it with another mid-flight. The Devil thought it was quite a neat trick.

The German made both balls stand on top of each other, which the devil thought was very impressive.

The Pole lost one ball, and broke the other.

I think I'll visit the RFPC thread to post more of these

As for the thread topic, did you know that during the investigation, the police took DNA samples from the guy's family, but never tested the dead body found in Swinoujscie harbor? They didn't even check the cell phone the real dead guy had with him.

Molyneux · Post by **Molyneux** » 2008-01-31 09:19am

That is a pretty darn impressive trick.

I've got to wonder what this guy's planning on doing in the face of such massive incompetence...