(ACPA-london) Excitement is growing in the Northern England town of Huddlesfield following the news that a local man saw an image of the big-bang in a piece of toast. atheist donald chapman, 36, told local newspaper, "the huddlesfield express" that he was sitting down to eat breakfast when an unusual toast pattern caught his eye.
"I was just about to spread the butter when I noticed a fairly typical small hole in the bread surrounded by a burnt black ring. however the direction and splatter patterns of the crumbs as well as the changing shades emanating outwards from this black hole were very clearly similar to the chaotic-dynamic non-linear patterns that one would expect following the big bang". "It's the beginning of the world" he added excitedly.
Ever since news of the discovery made national headlines, local hoteliers have been overwhelmed by an influx of atheists from all over the country who have flocked to Huddlesfield to catch a glimpse of the scientific relic. "I have always been an Atheist and to see my life choices validated on a piece of toast is truly astounding" said one guest at the Huddlesfield arms hotel.
To the surprise of many, the UK national atheist association has asked its members not to pay attention to the story despite its potential to inspire less faith. "Given what the religious believe already, this is an easy sell" said one disgruntled activist who said he was going to huddlesfield anyway noting that "Seeing is not believing".
"It's the beginning of the world" he added excitedly.
What an idiot.
The big bang theory cleary states that the Great A'Tuin is moving to his (or her) mating grounds, where the "big bang" will occur at the point of mating. This will obviously cause the end of the world, not the beginning.
At least now I have some evidence next time someone pulls the "I saw Jesus in a taco!" stint. I was thinking about saying "Anyone can claim that their lunch is prophetic," but now I have actual proof of it.
Would you be able to make a Total Perspective Vortex from this?
"And the sign said, 'Anybody caught tresspassing, will be shot on sight.' So I jumped over the fence and yelled at the house, 'Hey! What -'" BAM*BAM*BAM*BAM*BAM
Follow the link to see this miracle toast...
