SD.net gets the ability to Jump (RAR!)

Zor · Post by **Zor** » 2008-02-18 07:08pm

A very simple thread idea that i got after watching the movie.

One day, everyone on SD.net with more than 50 posts gets up and sees that there is a note nearby their bed on a nice red card. It reads as follows...

Dear "insert real name here" ("insert SD.net Username here")

Today, i have decided, to mess around with you lot for fun and games. However, do not fret, as you have lost nothing, but gained something remarkable. You have been given teleprotation abillities just like those in the Movie Jumper. Do not fret, there are no Paladins chasing you down. Please note that everyone else on the Webforum of Stardestroyer.net with more than 50 posts has the same ability.
Enjoy yourself
-Q

You then Jump right into the bathroom in your, which is currently not in use.

What happens?

Zor

Ford Prefect · Post by **Ford Prefect** » 2008-02-18 07:13pm

I start stealing stuff. Preferably gold, thus allowing myself to have a stable caches of dirty sexy money in the inevitable Mad Maxian future.

CaptainChewbacca · Post by **CaptainChewbacca** » 2008-02-18 07:13pm

Welcome to Taskforce Cuntpuncher Mark 2.

Booze, chicks, & Gold Bricks.

Battlehymn Republic · Post by **Battlehymn Republic** » 2008-02-18 07:41pm

With great power comes great responsibility. Which means I immediately come forward to the American government. The NSA creates a rival government-registered group of Jumpers; much hilarity ensues.

Gullible Jones · Post by **Gullible Jones** » 2008-02-18 08:32pm

Go to the government about it, demonstrate it, tell them about the forum so they can contact more Jumpers. With luck, somebody will figure out how to turn us all into Jumpers, or at least make some gizmo that does the job.

Then... Go to NASA and see what I can get as far as employment options.

Burak Gazan · Post by **Burak Gazan** » 2008-02-18 08:34pm

I'm with Chewie on this one

Looks like debauchery is outnumbering good-guy stuff 3-1 so far

nightmare · Post by **nightmare** » 2008-02-18 09:24pm

I'm guessing I can bring with me as much as I can carry, or that movie is high rated.

So while I could steal as much money as I want, now I don't really need much anymore. I also know that a few thousand others has gained the same ability. Undoubtly, some of them are going to alert "normal" people, so I'll want to hide myself from day 1 and never teleport in plain sight.

I can now travel anywhere and bring my family along, that's awesome. I'll keep a low profile and maybe experiment with some old photos to see if it's possible to time-travel as well or not.

If the gov finds out, I'm so going to be stuck in their web. If I'm lucky they'll use me for spying and not do too many experiments on me. I'd prefer trying something like traveling to other planets (properly equipped of course), but it's probably better to just stay the hell away from the lights of fame. I can live far away from everything without drawbacks now.

Archaic` · Post by **Archaic`** » 2008-02-18 09:38pm

If we're all aware that each and every jumper in the world is a registered poster here, it's going to be difficult to try and keep a low profile, assuming our existence went public. If it could be kept silent, we could all live fairly well to do lifestyles with a minimum of law breaking. Stage magicians whose tricks defy logic, unbelievably good private investigators/bounty hunters, anonymous whistleblowers (wouldn't you love to jump into the Scientology HQ, then pass off incriminating documents to intelligence agencies and the IRS), etc. You'd have to avoid getting governments involved, or else you're just going to get us all subject to a rash of experiments, and potential anti-jumper tech coming out of the woodwork, with Paladins just a few steps later.

CaptainChewbacca · Post by **CaptainChewbacca** » 2008-02-18 10:49pm

I imagine there'd be a lot of spectacular acts and fatalities in the first weeks, followed by daring hits on various government institutions and religious organizations... and an atomic wedgie on Fred Phelps...

Then I think the crackdown would come.

Post by **K. A. Pital** » 2008-02-19 12:43am

I become cooler than Che Guevara.

Davey · Post by **Davey** » 2008-02-19 01:14am

Me? I wouldn't try anything stupid, that's for sure, although if I was late for class or something like that and the class was important or something, well... teleport into an area closeby that won't have too many people, and then walk to the destination as usual.

darthbob88 · Post by **darthbob88** » 2008-02-19 01:29am

I would try to keep it to the little things, like getting to work/class earlier, Jumping to the can and back, etc. At best, I would steal money in small amounts, sufficient to live comfortably, rather than lavishly. I would also try to keep up on the actions of Task Force Cuntpuncher, just so I could be in on the awesomeness.

Actually, come to think of it, I would simply take advantage of the instant commute feature and go live someplace where utilities are cheap, shop where goods are cheap, and work where pay is high.

Havok · Post by **Havok** » 2008-02-19 01:42am

I would join the C.I.A.

Post by **K. A. Pital** » 2008-02-19 03:36am

I would join the C.I.A.

Then we can... FIGHT!

Shroom Man 777 · Post by **Shroom Man 777** » 2008-02-19 04:25am

From my point of view, communism is evil!

Then you are lost, havokeff! You are lost!

You underestimate the power of CAPITALISM! HRAAAA!!!

I guess Task Force Cuntpuncher will be even more awesome! Like, hundreds of people materialize and teleport to a single spot carrying booze and food and drink and whores just to PARTAAAAAY!!!!

No one can stop us!

Wedge · Post by **Wedge** » 2008-02-19 07:52am

I think it depends on how the other board members would react.

I for myself, would be some sort of Robin Hood, stealing from the rich evil people and giving it to the poor (namely ME, until I have enough money so that I don't have to do real work). I'd travel to all the places I wanted, Greece, China, Egypt, all those places that I can't afford to go and it takes a long time to get there.

Now if other board members would unite to do something like a League to bring down evil-corrupt politicians, sabotage factories that make landmines and stuff like that, if it isn't too dangerous (I don't want to put my life at "much" risk) I probably would join.
That actually brings up another questions, if people would use their power to actually change things in the world, I'm sure a lot of other members wouldn't agree.
For example one little group wants to execute an old vice-president that shoots friends while hunting, and another little group actually likes him, and would try to impede that execution.
Would an SD.net Jumper war ensue?

Flagg · Post by **Flagg** » 2008-02-19 08:07am

I'd start removing threats to democracy around the world. Starting at home. It's not murder if the ground kills them.

hongi · Post by **hongi** » 2008-02-19 09:02am

"Yo Osama, how ya doing?"

"What? Infidel, how did you get into my personal cave?"

"Well, I saw your video on Al-Jazeera and I thought you looked a little pale. Not getting enough food yeah? That's why I brought this AK-47. EAT LEAD."

Molyneux · Post by **Molyneux** » 2008-02-19 09:06am

Two courses of action suggest themselves to me. The first has already been suggested - go to the government/go public, and see if there's a way we can study the science of Jumping, maybe even find a way to make the ability universal. Even in the movie, the Paladins had a machine that could take advantage of a preexisting Jump scar, after all.

The second is - not do much of anything. I'd definitely use the ability to avoid commuting, travel and such - I've always wanted to see the Grand Canyon, for one thing - but I'd probably stick with a mostly normal life. I'd definitely use it to help people if the opportunity ever came up, though - remember the people trapped on the car during that flood, in the movie?

Xon · Post by **Xon** » 2008-02-19 09:27am

I save money by providing my own transport to work

Get my Canadan passport, and go visit relatives over there more often?

Wedge · Post by **Wedge** » 2008-02-19 10:38am

Flagg wrote:I'd start removing threats to democracy around the world. Starting at home. It's not murder if the ground kills them.

What if some right-wing would do the same with lefties, because he thinks their politics make the country worse. Would you try to stop him?

Post by **K. A. Pital** » 2008-02-19 10:42am

Turning over to the government might not be the smartest thing unless you first go massively public as to exclude the chance of the government locking you down and killing - you can't really predict the reaction.

Vigilantism is another course of action. However, you'd be not much different from Kira from Death Note, only on a smaller scale.

I don't know personally, but I'm pretty sure I could take the Kira path and murder several lead figures, like OBL, Kim, Mugabe, et cetera. However, that means I'm fully taking the consequences of vigilantism and realize I'm actually going around murdering people whom I think are worthy of death.

Oskuro · Post by **Oskuro** » 2008-02-19 10:50am

Start my own international package delivery company, where I'm the only employee. Money, plus an excuse to see the world.

Flagg · Post by **Flagg** » 2008-02-19 10:50am

Wedge wrote:
Flagg wrote:I'd start removing threats to democracy around the world. Starting at home. It's not murder if the ground kills them.
What if some right-wing would do the same with lefties, because he thinks their politics make the country worse. Would you try to stop him?

Yes. It's not murder if it's in "self defense".

Lazarus · Post by **Lazarus** » 2008-02-19 11:30am

If every real user of the forum is given this ability, then won't that lead to conflict between us? We would have to work on those in power not knowing our abilities to get the best results from crime etc, and if a bunch of us go off to NASA and start yelling 'hey lookee what I can do!' the criminally minded amongst us (including me, probably) would have problems. 'Outing' jumpers would probably result in a witch hunt.