The Invasion...
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The Invasion...
The complete first chapter will be up this week FOR SURE. It will be in this thread since the other one's so messy...
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Woooooooo! Good, get that posted; I've been waiting VERY, VERY patiently for it!!
*sits down, folds hands, places hands in lap and waits with a smile* I'm ready.
*sits down, folds hands, places hands in lap and waits with a smile* I'm ready.
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Okay, I finally have this chapter up... ENJOY!! 
Note: this is my first attempt at a real sci-fi. I have already planned the end of this book and, well, it looks like it will probably be a series.
Note 2: The part dealing with Russia is a bit controversial, but I expect that you will all try to see where this is going. It will be dealt with later in the story, but it is a must for right now. It deals with genetics and telepathy, and … well … you'll just have to see what happens later.
————————————————————————————————————
19 March 2009.
0904 hours.
Washington, D.C.
It was early in the morning. People were getting up to go to work. Kelly Antilles and her husband, Jake, and two kids, Mary and Jason, were on their way to San Francisco. They had finally gotten packed, and were on their way out of the Washington, D.C. area. They had left their home at 6:45 in the morning, as to evade traffic. Spring Break had come early this year, and they were going to Kelly's parents' house in California. They were on the highway, traveling at seventy-five miles per hour, when suddenly a car headed the opposite direction suddenly swerved into her lane. She pounded on the brakes in the Plymouth Voyager that she was driving, and skidded sideways, to try to avoid the oncoming car. A Honda Civic hit her from behind when a bright white light enveloped her and her family.
She came to a few minutes later, and instinctively turned around to see if her kids were all right. Never mind her husband, she had to see her children. She saw that Robert was bleeding out of his ear, and both were unconscious, but noticed that they were breathing, and was relieved. She turned to face her husband, only to find that the door had been ripped off and that he was missing. The door was nowhere in sight. Leaves were blowing into and out of the minivan. It was strangely quiet, considering it she was on the highway. She looked back over to her side of the vehicle, and realized that they were not on the highway any longer. Still dazed, she thought she saw her husband standing up on a hill not too far away. "Jake…?" she whispered.
————————————————————————————————————
20 March 2009.
0104 hours.
Between Melbourne and Sydney, Australia.
Andrew Russell was on his way to Sydney from Melbourne. He had to be ther ein the afternoon for a business meeting. Being one of the more pretigious politicians in the nation, he had to attend. He had decided, however, to take the long route, to drive along the beach. On his right was the beach. It was quiet. He noticed there were no birds out, no sea gulls. There was no real sound. Just the lapping of the waves on the shore, the distant roar of water out in the deep ocean, against the dark, midnight blue sky. It was clear, except for a few clouds. The South Cross was clearly visible at this time. It was straight ahead of him. He watched it for just a moment, and as soon as he let his eyes off the road completely, an incredibly bright white light surrounded him. He was thrown off the road, and onto the beach.
A few minutes later, he came to, and he was bleeding from his ears. There was a dull ringing. His car was flipped over, and he was still inside. The hood was crunshed in, and the top was fairly smashed, as well. "Damn," he said, "I'm going to be late for the meeting." And he promptly passed out.
————————————————————————————————————
19 March 2009.
1604 hours.
Alexandria, Egypt.
Aswad Isa and Omar Alwafai were in bed, having the time of their lives when all of a sudden, there was a bright light from their eastern window. They stopped what they were doing, and lay still. Suddenly, the window shattered, spraying both men with tiny shards of glass. The light was so bright, even if from so far away, that they were momentarily blinded. The bed moved, ever so slightly, enough to make a small creak and groan.
When they were able to see again, they looked at each other with frightened eyes, and lay down again. Aswad said to Omar, "What will happen, now?"
Omar replied, "We go to headquarters. And wait. And pray."
————————————————————————————————————
19 March 2009.
1404 hours.
Edinburgh, United Kingdom.
Darren Montgomery had been takign a late lunch break, and was on his way back to work. He was a few minutes early, but that could be good or bad, depending on who was the boss for the second half of his shift. It was a partially cloudy day, so when a bright light appeared, he assumed the sun was coming out of the clouds, and reached for his sunglasses. But when he noticed a car veering off the road ahead of him, he said, "What in the bloody—!" He almost didn't notice the car in fron tof him stopping, so he slammed on his brakes, swerving, and was blinded in the same moment. Not being able to see what he was doing, he turned the steering wheel sharply to the left, to avoid any other cars that he might run into, and landed in a ditch.
He woke up a little while later to the sounds of ambulance sirens and someone tapping on his window. "Sir? Sir, are you all right in there?" a woman's voice asked. When Darren relaized that it was the voice of the person at the window, he opened his eyes and mumbled incoherently in response. He gazed a glassy-eyed stare at the blonde-haired, blue-eyed paramedic for a second or two afgterward, and passed out again.
————————————————————————————————————
19 March 2009.
1404 hours.
Marseilles, France.
Alec DuMonte had restlessly been trying to sleep. He was the night security guard at the Marriott in Marseilles. He was also the most feared. Since he had been hired, there had been little trouble in the hotel. What very few people knew, however, was that ths was because he was a telepath.
All throughout his sleep, Alec had dreamt of the Arc du Triomphe, the Llouvre, the Eiffel Tower, and the Notre Dame Cathedral, then a bright light, which was followed by nothing. Emptiness. He woke up in a cold sweat, thankful that his wife had taken her trip home to Madrid, Spain. He stood up in his boxers, and made a move toward the bathroom to clean up. He was grateful that he had the night off. He got halfway to the doorway to his bathroom when the windows suddenly flew open, and a strong wind knocked him to the ground. He landed on his butt and his elbow, and slid back about a foot, scraping skin off his forearm. He sat for a moment, knowing what had happened.
————————————————————————————————————
19 March 2009.
2304 hours.
Seoul, South Korea.
Phong Nguyen had been walking home after a late night out on the town. Sure, he had had fun, what with all the girls and drinks and all, but he needed to go to work in the morning. He was just beginning to walk past a park when he heard a low, distant rumble, but he passed it off for thunder, as the sky was overcast. When it lasted too long for normal thunder, he looked up, curious.
In the moment that he looked up, he was blinded by a great flash of light. It was like it enveloped him, swept over him, encompassing everything. He took a step back, and then there was an aftershock, throwing him to his face on the ground. He tumbled for a few moments before he was able to get up. He started for a nearby hospital, and after thinking about all the possibilities of what it might have been, all he could do was shake his head and say, "Shit…"
————————————————————————————————————
19 March 2009.
2004 hours.
St. Petersburg, Russia.
Aleksandr Petrovich was just about to leave the lab when Olga Borisokov made an astounding discovery. "Sergei! Aleksandr! Come, look at this!" Sergei Lipinski and the other bio-geneticists were working on reading the human genome. They had apparently happened upon some incredible evidence—telepathy was, in fact, real. It wasn't always hereditary; it was a mutation occurring here and there due to defects in DNA strands, but it was real.
"Hurry! Record the information!" Sergei commanded.
"Computer, download findings," Aleksandr ordered to the computer. Then, to the others, cheerfully, "Do you know what this could mean?"
"Files... downloaded," stated the robotic voice of the computer as the building began to shake. Things fell off of shelves, flasks shattered on the ground, things clattered and clanked as they knocked against each other. A fluorescent light crashed down from the ceiling, hitting one of the monitors on the table, throwing it to the floor.
"Get down!" Olga yelled. The commotion commenced. "What—what was that? I didn't think we could get earthquakes here," she whispered.
"I don't know," said Aleksandr softly.
"But," Sergei said, smiling, "we have our evidence, safe and intact."
————————————————————————————————————
20 March 2009.
0204 hours.
Kyoto, Japan.
Aki Oro and Hikari Yurimoto sat in their apartment, discussing the assignment that was due in the morning. They were graduating in two months, both with a degree in nuclear engineering. Things were definitely different since the end of the second Persian Gulf War, and although electronics was not the favorite subject of either woman, they managed to pull through every electronics class before this, and they were determined to make it through their last one.
"Finally!" Aki cried, exclaiming their success in finishing the project.
"Yes, we're done," replied Hikari. "And in only two months' time, we've only one more project. Just think..."
And that was when the windows blew open, and the building began to shake. Glass shards were sprayed all over Hikari and Aki's bodies, minorly piercing their skin here and there.
"Cover it!" yelled Aki.
Hikari threw a blanket over their project as soon as everything died down and said, "I wonder what that was?"
"I don’t know," Aki responded, looking at Hikari, concerned, "but I don't like the looks of it. At all."
Note: this is my first attempt at a real sci-fi. I have already planned the end of this book and, well, it looks like it will probably be a series.
Note 2: The part dealing with Russia is a bit controversial, but I expect that you will all try to see where this is going. It will be dealt with later in the story, but it is a must for right now. It deals with genetics and telepathy, and … well … you'll just have to see what happens later.
————————————————————————————————————
19 March 2009.
0904 hours.
Washington, D.C.
It was early in the morning. People were getting up to go to work. Kelly Antilles and her husband, Jake, and two kids, Mary and Jason, were on their way to San Francisco. They had finally gotten packed, and were on their way out of the Washington, D.C. area. They had left their home at 6:45 in the morning, as to evade traffic. Spring Break had come early this year, and they were going to Kelly's parents' house in California. They were on the highway, traveling at seventy-five miles per hour, when suddenly a car headed the opposite direction suddenly swerved into her lane. She pounded on the brakes in the Plymouth Voyager that she was driving, and skidded sideways, to try to avoid the oncoming car. A Honda Civic hit her from behind when a bright white light enveloped her and her family.
She came to a few minutes later, and instinctively turned around to see if her kids were all right. Never mind her husband, she had to see her children. She saw that Robert was bleeding out of his ear, and both were unconscious, but noticed that they were breathing, and was relieved. She turned to face her husband, only to find that the door had been ripped off and that he was missing. The door was nowhere in sight. Leaves were blowing into and out of the minivan. It was strangely quiet, considering it she was on the highway. She looked back over to her side of the vehicle, and realized that they were not on the highway any longer. Still dazed, she thought she saw her husband standing up on a hill not too far away. "Jake…?" she whispered.
————————————————————————————————————
20 March 2009.
0104 hours.
Between Melbourne and Sydney, Australia.
Andrew Russell was on his way to Sydney from Melbourne. He had to be ther ein the afternoon for a business meeting. Being one of the more pretigious politicians in the nation, he had to attend. He had decided, however, to take the long route, to drive along the beach. On his right was the beach. It was quiet. He noticed there were no birds out, no sea gulls. There was no real sound. Just the lapping of the waves on the shore, the distant roar of water out in the deep ocean, against the dark, midnight blue sky. It was clear, except for a few clouds. The South Cross was clearly visible at this time. It was straight ahead of him. He watched it for just a moment, and as soon as he let his eyes off the road completely, an incredibly bright white light surrounded him. He was thrown off the road, and onto the beach.
A few minutes later, he came to, and he was bleeding from his ears. There was a dull ringing. His car was flipped over, and he was still inside. The hood was crunshed in, and the top was fairly smashed, as well. "Damn," he said, "I'm going to be late for the meeting." And he promptly passed out.
————————————————————————————————————
19 March 2009.
1604 hours.
Alexandria, Egypt.
Aswad Isa and Omar Alwafai were in bed, having the time of their lives when all of a sudden, there was a bright light from their eastern window. They stopped what they were doing, and lay still. Suddenly, the window shattered, spraying both men with tiny shards of glass. The light was so bright, even if from so far away, that they were momentarily blinded. The bed moved, ever so slightly, enough to make a small creak and groan.
When they were able to see again, they looked at each other with frightened eyes, and lay down again. Aswad said to Omar, "What will happen, now?"
Omar replied, "We go to headquarters. And wait. And pray."
————————————————————————————————————
19 March 2009.
1404 hours.
Edinburgh, United Kingdom.
Darren Montgomery had been takign a late lunch break, and was on his way back to work. He was a few minutes early, but that could be good or bad, depending on who was the boss for the second half of his shift. It was a partially cloudy day, so when a bright light appeared, he assumed the sun was coming out of the clouds, and reached for his sunglasses. But when he noticed a car veering off the road ahead of him, he said, "What in the bloody—!" He almost didn't notice the car in fron tof him stopping, so he slammed on his brakes, swerving, and was blinded in the same moment. Not being able to see what he was doing, he turned the steering wheel sharply to the left, to avoid any other cars that he might run into, and landed in a ditch.
He woke up a little while later to the sounds of ambulance sirens and someone tapping on his window. "Sir? Sir, are you all right in there?" a woman's voice asked. When Darren relaized that it was the voice of the person at the window, he opened his eyes and mumbled incoherently in response. He gazed a glassy-eyed stare at the blonde-haired, blue-eyed paramedic for a second or two afgterward, and passed out again.
————————————————————————————————————
19 March 2009.
1404 hours.
Marseilles, France.
Alec DuMonte had restlessly been trying to sleep. He was the night security guard at the Marriott in Marseilles. He was also the most feared. Since he had been hired, there had been little trouble in the hotel. What very few people knew, however, was that ths was because he was a telepath.
All throughout his sleep, Alec had dreamt of the Arc du Triomphe, the Llouvre, the Eiffel Tower, and the Notre Dame Cathedral, then a bright light, which was followed by nothing. Emptiness. He woke up in a cold sweat, thankful that his wife had taken her trip home to Madrid, Spain. He stood up in his boxers, and made a move toward the bathroom to clean up. He was grateful that he had the night off. He got halfway to the doorway to his bathroom when the windows suddenly flew open, and a strong wind knocked him to the ground. He landed on his butt and his elbow, and slid back about a foot, scraping skin off his forearm. He sat for a moment, knowing what had happened.
————————————————————————————————————
19 March 2009.
2304 hours.
Seoul, South Korea.
Phong Nguyen had been walking home after a late night out on the town. Sure, he had had fun, what with all the girls and drinks and all, but he needed to go to work in the morning. He was just beginning to walk past a park when he heard a low, distant rumble, but he passed it off for thunder, as the sky was overcast. When it lasted too long for normal thunder, he looked up, curious.
In the moment that he looked up, he was blinded by a great flash of light. It was like it enveloped him, swept over him, encompassing everything. He took a step back, and then there was an aftershock, throwing him to his face on the ground. He tumbled for a few moments before he was able to get up. He started for a nearby hospital, and after thinking about all the possibilities of what it might have been, all he could do was shake his head and say, "Shit…"
————————————————————————————————————
19 March 2009.
2004 hours.
St. Petersburg, Russia.
Aleksandr Petrovich was just about to leave the lab when Olga Borisokov made an astounding discovery. "Sergei! Aleksandr! Come, look at this!" Sergei Lipinski and the other bio-geneticists were working on reading the human genome. They had apparently happened upon some incredible evidence—telepathy was, in fact, real. It wasn't always hereditary; it was a mutation occurring here and there due to defects in DNA strands, but it was real.
"Hurry! Record the information!" Sergei commanded.
"Computer, download findings," Aleksandr ordered to the computer. Then, to the others, cheerfully, "Do you know what this could mean?"
"Files... downloaded," stated the robotic voice of the computer as the building began to shake. Things fell off of shelves, flasks shattered on the ground, things clattered and clanked as they knocked against each other. A fluorescent light crashed down from the ceiling, hitting one of the monitors on the table, throwing it to the floor.
"Get down!" Olga yelled. The commotion commenced. "What—what was that? I didn't think we could get earthquakes here," she whispered.
"I don't know," said Aleksandr softly.
"But," Sergei said, smiling, "we have our evidence, safe and intact."
————————————————————————————————————
20 March 2009.
0204 hours.
Kyoto, Japan.
Aki Oro and Hikari Yurimoto sat in their apartment, discussing the assignment that was due in the morning. They were graduating in two months, both with a degree in nuclear engineering. Things were definitely different since the end of the second Persian Gulf War, and although electronics was not the favorite subject of either woman, they managed to pull through every electronics class before this, and they were determined to make it through their last one.
"Finally!" Aki cried, exclaiming their success in finishing the project.
"Yes, we're done," replied Hikari. "And in only two months' time, we've only one more project. Just think..."
And that was when the windows blew open, and the building began to shake. Glass shards were sprayed all over Hikari and Aki's bodies, minorly piercing their skin here and there.
"Cover it!" yelled Aki.
Hikari threw a blanket over their project as soon as everything died down and said, "I wonder what that was?"
"I don’t know," Aki responded, looking at Hikari, concerned, "but I don't like the looks of it. At all."
Last edited by haas mark on 2003-10-30 04:09pm, edited 1 time in total.
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No, you think?IG-88E wrote:ABOUT FRAGGING TIME!
*reads*
Hmmmm. It's interesting, very suspensful.
However, it got a little repetitive, and there could've been more to the chapter than "person starts day, bright flash, weird shit" over and over.
But there is a point to it... all in good time, Iggy, all in good time...[shudders] I sounded like Bean....[shudder again]
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I'm sure there's a point to it, it's just that the whole chapter was pretty much the same paragraph gussied up a bunch of different ways, and there could've been more to it than that. A short cap with the perpetrator of the events would have been a good way to end it.verilon wrote:No, you think?
I do look forward to future chapters, though.
JADAFETWA
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I know, I know... It was as far as the weird stuff, a few chapters somewhat redundant. But the Russian part was key, and all these other parts introduce key characters in chapters to come.IG-88E wrote:I'm sure there's a point to it, it's just that the whole chapter was pretty much the same paragraph gussied up a bunch of different ways, and there could've been more to it than that. A short cap with the perpetrator of the events would have been a good way to end it.verilon wrote:No, you think?
I do look forward to future chapters, though.
Just a little hint for the rest of you.Robert-Conway.com | lunar sun | TotalEnigma.net
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Right on I'm realy starting to like this fic alot keep up the good work
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<--- Is honored to hear that from LT.Hit-Man so early in the fic...Work has begun on the second chapter.. not exactly sure just yet where it's going, but I know the end of it, so I just have to fill it in... shouldn't be too much of a problem... But I'm working on it.
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I give credit where credit is due, I like the way you set up the difreent points of view as it turns the lives of so many people upside down on a globle scaleverilon wrote:
Work has begun on the second chapter.. not exactly sure just yet where it's going, but I know the end of it, so I just have to fill it in... shouldn't be too much of a problem... But I'm working on it.
I look forward to the next chapter
Brotherhood of the Monkey: Rabid Sith Monkey from hell.
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Thank you.LT.Hit-Man wrote:I give credit where credit is due, I like the way you set up the difreent points of view as it turns the lives of so many people upside down on a globle scaleverilon wrote:
Work has begun on the second chapter.. not exactly sure just yet where it's going, but I know the end of it, so I just have to fill it in... shouldn't be too much of a problem... But I'm working on it.
I look forward to the next chapter
I am working on the second chapter right now, and hopefully it will be up soon, but I am sure you of all people know how that goes, with the not getting it out as soon as you want sometimes... Damned college.. heheRobert-Conway.com | lunar sun | TotalEnigma.net
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Okay, enough praise, start critiquing, dammit!
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You asked...verilon wrote:Okay, enough praise, start critiquing, dammit!
My first point has already been brought up: the chapter was a bit repetitive.
Second, how large of a cast of characters are you going to have? Working with a large cast can make a good story, but if handled poorly, it can confuse people and kill a good plot.
"The arrow can only be fired once...we'll see how it lands." -Admiral Delaz
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Hail Zeon!
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I'm working on that... there are at least three more main human characters, plus a few alien characters that haven't been brought in yet. There's a lot of place for cameo characters if anyone wants to be in it. So far, I have LT.Hit-Man and Zaia in it, and Darth Wong at a later point, but if anyone would like, I could use some names for other foreign people as well as some good alien names.Zaku-chan wrote:You asked...verilon wrote:Okay, enough praise, start critiquing, dammit!
My first point has already been brought up: the chapter was a bit repetitive.
Second, how large of a cast of characters are you going to have? Working with a large cast can make a good story, but if handled poorly, it can confuse people and kill a good plot.
And that was the rough draft for the last 5 parts, so expect some editing in the future.
Robert-Conway.com | lunar sun | TotalEnigma.net
Hot Pants à la Zaia | BotM Lord Monkey Mod OOK!
SDNC | WG | GDC | ACPATHNTDWATGODW | GALE | ISARMA | CotK: [mew]
Formerly verilon
R.I.P. Eddie Guerrero, 09 October 1967 - 13 November 2005
Hot Pants à la Zaia | BotM Lord Monkey Mod OOK!
SDNC | WG | GDC | ACPATHNTDWATGODW | GALE | ISARMA | CotK: [mew]
Formerly verilon
R.I.P. Eddie Guerrero, 09 October 1967 - 13 November 2005