How to Piss-off Junk Mail Companies

Superman · Post by **Superman** » 2003-01-20 11:35pm

When we send the junk mail back to the junk mail company, should we put our return address on the envelope so they know who sent it?

Post by **Edi** » 2003-01-21 06:00am

And then there is this...

http://www.theregister.co.uk/content/6/28525.html

Edi

Admiral Valdemar · Post by **Admiral Valdemar** » 2003-01-21 11:49am

Edi wrote:And then there is this...

http://www.theregister.co.uk/content/6/28525.html

Edi

Ahh, justice is great. I salute Slashdot.org for their valiant efforts.

Lord_Xerxes · Post by **Lord_Xerxes** » 2003-01-22 12:34am

Or moan and pant between sentences to give the impression of having a wank or a menage a trois whilst on the phone. The telemarketer may actually use the phrase "Did I catch you at a bad time?" for once. A rare event indeed.

As a joke, my best friend and I did this once, pretending to be gay...He started blerting out things in the background like "Come back to the bed...", "Why did you pulll it out", etc. Then I hung up on the guy. You know what happened? He called back again. Saying something like "I think you're phone disconnected us." I think he was getting off on our little joke...

It was at this point that I told him, "Perhaps you're not understanding the point. I am not intrested. I hung up on you. And now I will again." You know what happened? He called back a third time. (This baffels me, because I thought auto-dialers can't pick the same number more than once, or recall a number immediately after.)

He said something to the degree of "But we really want you as a customer." and I basically told him to fuck off. Then I went to my computer and fired out the Arnold Ultimate soundboard, ready to assault him with a barrage of "Why?Why?Why?Fuck you, Asshole. My CPU is a neural-net processor, a learning computer. Did your daddy teach you this game? Who is your daddy, and what does he do" and so on. But they never called back. Telemarketers really hate when you Arnold-board them. Infact, since I started doing that, we've be getting far less calls from them!

To make a long story short, the same phone company called back the next morning and woke me up. I tore the woman a new asshole and told her what'd happened, and if they were to call again I would sue them for harassment. She told me it was impossible. I told her that them being able to pull my size 14 boot wedged so far up their ass they could taste the rubber would be impossible. That company never called again.

Nathan F · Post by **Nathan F** » 2003-01-22 08:02pm

Whenever i get junk mail, I just take a marker and write "RETURN TO SENDER" in big letters across the front. Seriously, after two times of doing this to a credit card company, I have not recieved a message from them since.

Raoul Duke, Jr. · Post by **Raoul Duke, Jr.** » 2003-01-23 02:43pm

Singuler Quartet wrote:
IRG CommandoJoe wrote:
David wrote:BTW folks, when telemarketers call your house, don't just hang up, tell them to take you off their calling list, they have to by law.
Is that a federal law or a state law?
I think it might be federal law, otherwise it would be fairly useless.

As a side note, Wired put forward an intresting method of stopping calls. Whenever you call a phone number that doesn't exist, you get a three tone beep, then the message saying that this number does not exist. IF you start screening yuour calls, and have the middle tone at the start of your answering machine, Telemarketing computers automatically remove you from their calling lists, since, obviously, the numberis disconnected.

Actually, having had some experience in state and federal communications laws myself, I can tell you that state laws are generally harsher -- and the harsher law is the one they are required to follow.

neoolong · Post by **neoolong** » 2003-01-23 03:30pm

Edi wrote:And then there is this...

http://www.theregister.co.uk/content/6/28525.html

Edi

Ah yes, delicious irony. How poetic in her revenge.

Uraniun235 · Post by **Uraniun235** » 2003-01-23 06:43pm

Or, if you're really sick of telemarketers calling you and don't even want to have to fuck around with them, just talk to the phone company and tell them you want your number blocked.

I've *never* heard of a telemarketer call being placed to my house for several years now, and the last few "spam" calls were political surveys and crap like that, not telemarketing. The number doesn't show up on Caller ID (unless you do the little star-something code) and it's not printed in the phone book.

It costs a little, but I think it's worth it.

SyntaxVorlon · Post by **SyntaxVorlon** » 2003-01-24 05:50pm

The best way to fuck with telemarketers is to solicit them for sex.

Raoul Duke, Jr. · Post by **Raoul Duke, Jr.** » 2003-01-28 12:07pm

For those of you who weren't aware of this, I actually filed suit last year against one of the companies responsible for a lot of this stuff: Traffix, Inc. is a direct-marketing gig out of Pearl River, NY that basically collects consumers' personal data into a database which it leases or sells to telemarketers, spammers and other assorted varieties of filth.

The case, it now appears, has been dismissed. We don't yet know on what grounds. I have requested all relevant materials from my attorney for the purposes of constructing a press kit. If I can't get justice in the Supreme Court of New York, I'll go for the court of public opinion. If Traffix is smart (which there is so far no indication of, admittedly) they'll try to buy my silence. Oops -- too late!

namdoolb · Post by **namdoolb** » 2003-01-29 08:01am

Just pretend to be a Jehova's witness, start talking to them about their purpose in this life and why they should embrace the lord jesus christ.....

Don't know about the US, but in the UK that usualy gets rid of them

Vertigo1 · Post by **Vertigo1** » 2003-02-01 03:06pm

Ya know, I used to get alot of AOL CDs in the mail. One day I got sick of em, so I took it outside, dropped it on the concrete, poured kerosine on it and set the damn thing on fire.

Then I stuck the charred remains back into the case it came in and marked return to sender on the outside.

Haven't got a single CD since then.