Movie Recommendations (movies to avoid)

Admiral Valdemar · Post by **Admiral Valdemar** » 2003-01-17 06:29pm

SST film was great so long as you don't think of it as affiliated with Heinlein.

Hmm, let's see...

The Incredibly Strange Creatures Who Stopped Living and Became Mixed-Up Zombies. Yeah, that hurt my mental functioning for a few weeks.

You people bring up Top Gun, ST: X and even Highlander 2 as bad films.

They are fuck.

Compare it to Hobgoblins or Plan 9 from Outer Space and you'll see your delusions.

*Goes back to foetal position*

TrailerParkJawa · Post by **TrailerParkJawa** » 2003-01-17 06:31pm

The Thin Red Line: Worst movie I ever saw! Id rather shit my pants in a crowded resteraunt than watch this movie again.

Joe · Post by **Joe** » 2003-01-17 06:32pm

The Omega Code.

Unless you are consumed with laughter, this movie will actually make you dumber and an altogether lower-quality person.

neoolong · Post by **neoolong** » 2003-01-17 06:52pm

Durran Korr wrote:
Stormbringer wrote:
neoolong wrote: I liked Starship Troopers. I just view the book and the movie as completely seperate things.
Why? It seemed like the whole damn movie was designed to insult the viewer's intelligence? Nothing in it made sense except the nudity.
Of course it was intelligence-insulting. Most propaganda is intelligence-insulting; in my opinion, Starship Troopers is a propaganda movie. But it satirizes itself.

The whole thing was satire. Not exactly a propagand movie in itself.

The Dark · Post by **The Dark** » 2003-01-17 07:50pm

Durran Korr wrote:The Omega Code.

Unless you are consumed with laughter, this movie will actually make you dumber and an altogether lower-quality person.

Actually, I was consumed with laughter by this one. I was laughing over their fundamentalist interpretation of the Book of Revelation, the use of Biblical numerology, and the rather cheesy special effects.

johnmarkley · Post by **johnmarkley** » 2003-01-17 08:21pm

Great, until now I'd managed to surpress the time I saw "Over the Top." I'll add:

Exorcist II. Has some of the goofiest movie science I've ever seen, and I've seen cinderblocks with more feeling and energy than Richard Burton's performance.

Batman and Robin. It's already been mentioned, but on a bad movie list it ought to be mentioned in every single post.

Robot Wars. A giant battling robots movie with a boring, completely inchoerent plot and almost no giant robot battling.

Post by **Kuja** » 2003-01-17 08:42pm

johnmarkley wrote:Robot Wars. A giant battling robots movie with a boring, completely inchoerent plot and almost no giant robot battling.

I felt SO fucking cheated when I rented that piece o' shit.

The Thin Red Line - too freaking slow

Pearl Harbor - a very nice 40 minutes of action preceeded by 1 and 1/2 hours of romantic shit and followed by 20 minutes of more romantic shit.

Reign of Fire - not a bad movie, but the ending REALLY sucks.

Buffalo '66 - DO NOT WATCH THIS MOVIE. DO NOT EVEN CONSIDER WATCHING THIS MOVIE.

Eye of the Beholder - only one movie has driven me to yell "THIS SUCKS!" in the middle of the theater. This was it.

Laird · Post by **Laird** » 2003-01-17 11:35pm

neoolong wrote:
Laird wrote:Hackers2:avoid it like Darkstar.
SW:TPM:Honestly it just well was not what I wanted it to be and so I rate it as a "Suck ass" -B movie.
Star trek 5:It just suck...thats all that need to be said.
Hackers 2 was Takedown(about Kevin Mitnick), right?

yes.

Robert Treder · Post by **Robert Treder** » 2003-01-18 05:27am

IG-88E wrote:Buffalo '66 - DO NOT WATCH THIS MOVIE. DO NOT EVEN CONSIDER WATCHING THIS MOVIE.

I must intervene here. Buffalo '66 is a fucking AWESOME movie. Do you have a personal thing against Vincent Gallo or something? Because I guess I could understand that; a lot of people don't like him. But as far as the movie goes, it's amazing...the writing, the cinematography, and most of all, the acting are all just wonderful. Gallo, Ricci, and an uncredited Kevin Corrigan all turn in superb performances. This movie is awesome.

I also liked The Thin Red Line, which some of you don't like. Takes all kinds, I guess.

As far as bad movies go, the absolute worst movie ever is Bad Company, starring Anthony Hopkins and Chris Rock. I know there are a lot of shitty low-budget movies out there, and I've seen a good deal of them, but Bad Company takes the cake for bad movies. The very fact that it had a big budget ($70,000,000 to be precise) digs this movie a hole it is unable to crawl out of. If you have seventy MILLION dollars with which to make a movie, you should be able to do a passable job. Unless, of course, you are JERRY FUCKING BRUCKHEIMER or JOEL FUCKING SCHUMACHER, the two worst men on the face of the planet. Also, it was written by the guy who wrote Six Days, Seven Nights.

Einhander Sn0m4n · Post by **Einhander Sn0m4n** » 2003-01-18 05:58am

All Made-For-TV movies and non-comedy chick-flicks. Especially the ones that win Oscars (Hint HINT HINT!!!!!!!!!)
Avoid like the Plague, then actively seek out the asshats who produce the filth and force them to watch Janeway/Japanese Scat-Tentacle-Mutilation Porn until their brains melt/explode/spontaneously violently disassemble. Repeat until all the channels are 100% filled with Good Sci-Fi/Action/War Movies/Hardcore Porn/Music Videos/Toonami/Anime, preferably the nice kind with good intelligent plots, high-quality acting, and TONZ 'O' EYE-CANDY!! Backup Plan: Use Sniper Rifle on aforementioned producers .

The Duchess of Zeon · Post by **The Duchess of Zeon** » 2003-01-18 07:18am

DO NOT WATCH THIS FILM!!!!!

It is NOT about the Cult; it is a Western. Yes, a Western with that title. Heaven's Gate was the ultimate boredom film, a production that in original form and in the re-release on video was over four hours long. And it was about the...

Johnson County Cattle Wars. Or more precisely about a book that was on them, which was a rather skewed book. The film in turn was heavily fictionalized (only one person died in the real Cattle Wars) and even more skewed.

That would barely matter if it was a good film. But it wasn't. It was slow and incoherent, and badly edited in the reduced form and basically not edited in the larger form. It's budget was so big it actually destroyed a movie studio after it's release, when, due to the exceptional boredom of the film, the extremely low turnout in theatres resulted in it being pulled from circulation after TWO WEEKS.

To watch Heaven's Gate would be to watch the ultimate example of total, utter, mind-numbing boredom. There's nothing even to laugh at; I had the 'pleasure' of seeing the first hour and a half before turning it off once. I can assure you that it is simply the torture of watching the televisioned equivlant of nothingness, of slightly off-tune white noise.

InnerBrat · Post by **InnerBrat** » 2003-01-18 07:18am

I liked Thin Red Line. better than Private Ryan, definitely. At least i cared for the charcters. (plus Ben Chaplin, yum)

I also liked[ Reign of Fire, but only coz it had dragons in it. And it did suck when the humans won.

Sucky movies:

The American Godzilla
Jurassic Park II (you are NEVER going to get me to use The Lost world for anythn not written by ACD)
Batman and Robin
Titanic

Post by **The Yosemite Bear** » 2003-01-18 07:27am

My dislike for the following is fairly easy to explain
A Seperate Peace
Uncle Joe Shannon
Sophie's Choice

All of the above involved characters that could not get over and forgive themselves for something. I could not emotionally attach to the characters, the whole plot was drawn out in such a way I wanted to see them suffer.

The "Sins"
A Seprate Peace: Jeleosy and Unrequited Homosexual Lust for his roomate, prompting him to cripple the other boy.

Uncle Joe Shannon: Loosing his family to a fire caused by his smoking/drinking

Sophies Choice: Surviving a concentration camp.

The movies are just depressing, fuck after watching each one of those I thought about scuicide, purhaps spare me the misfortune of seeing something that depressing and god awful again.

johnmarkley · Post by **johnmarkley** » 2003-01-18 12:58pm

An update:
I just saw 2001: A Space Travesty on Comedy Central. One of the worst things I've seen.

CmdrWilkens · Post by **CmdrWilkens** » 2003-01-18 01:33pm

johnmarkley wrote:An update:
I just saw 2001: A Space Travesty on Comedy Central. One of the worst things I've seen.

I physically can't watch that movie for more than 5 minutes without turning the channel nowadays.

Anyway Thin Red Line was both a horribly boring and slow movie but it also committed these sins:

1) They captured more Japanese prisoners in one scene than were taken in the entire battle for Guadalcanal
2) They allowed an officer who refused an order to attack to not be summarily removed from command.
3) They overmoralized EVERYTHING...I mean they somehow tried to moralize the grass I swear.
4) I can honestly say this is the only movie I've seen with John Cusak that I would never want to see again.

2000AD · Post by **2000AD** » 2003-01-18 02:32pm

My mate recently got a batch of cheap DVD's bought by his mother. They are laughable! The worst being Maniac Cop, a film that brutally wastes Bruce Campbell !

TrailerParkJawa · Post by **TrailerParkJawa** » 2003-01-18 04:37pm

I need to add another one. Triple X. Until a few minutes ago I was watching it on DVD, my buddy rented it. Oh, man it is horrible.

THEHOOLIGANJEDI · Post by **THEHOOLIGANJEDI** » 2003-01-21 03:30pm

Oh I gotta to add Scary Movie. 100% not funnt and an outright horrible movie. Haven't seen the sequel, but it's probably just as bad or worse.

Faram · Post by **Faram** » 2003-01-21 03:33pm

Gangs of NewYork...

3h movie easely cuttable to manageble 1½h or 2

First ½ is BOORING! 2nd½ is sorta good but not good enuff to offset the booring part.

Post by **Dalton** » 2003-01-21 04:07pm

THEHOOLIGANJEDI wrote:Oh I gotta to add Scary Movie. 100% not funnt and an outright horrible movie. Haven't seen the sequel, but it's probably just as bad or worse.

The sequel was shit. The third one might be good.

Post by **Kuja** » 2003-01-21 04:48pm

innerbrat wrote: I also liked[ Reign of Fire, but only coz it had dragons in it. And it did suck when the humans won.

Agreed.

Rubberanvil · Post by **Rubberanvil** » 2003-01-21 06:26pm

I will advise everyone to not watch Sean Penn's The Pledge with it's horrendous FUCK ALL OF YOU WHO WATCHED IT ending.
Check the reviews at rottentomatos.com for all of the details.

R.O.T.O.R. is probably one of the most boringest(sp) made for video action movies I have ever seen.

The Addam Family 3 movies I heard is so horrible even MST3K couldn't possibly finished watching it.

HemlockGrey · Post by **HemlockGrey** » 2003-01-21 06:33pm

Manos: The Hands of Fate

Malecoda · Post by **Malecoda** » 2003-01-21 06:51pm

Showtime--the Eddie Murphy/Robert DeNiro heap of horseshit. Takes "suspension of disbelief" and bends it over and fucks it in the ass with a... a ... fuck, I dunno. Anyway, it's a shitty ripoff of The Hard Way, which was smart and silly.

The Jackal. "Oh, this isn't a remake of Day of the Jackal at all!" BULL fucking Shit! But it took one of the best movies made, and bent it over, and fucked it in the ass with a... a... uh, fuck, I don't know that one either. Maybe an embalming probe filled with aqua regia? It took the Jackal, a smooth, stone killer, and turned him into a psycho who killed people with no real motivation. Then it had this corny, far-field switcheroo, that made no sense and made the movie even worse, in the 5 minutes before the end. And Richard Gere? Oh, fuck, the guy sucked. He never spoke above a whisper. I can't blame him--I would have been so embarrassed by that stupid Irish accent that I would be afraid to speak too.

Now, Richard Gere in Chicago, on the other hand, was awesome. That was a spectacular feast, and everybody should see it. If you don't like musicals, then you must need a girlfriend

Last on my little list of shitty movies: The Hours. No. Fucking. Comment.

Joe · Post by **Joe** » 2003-01-21 06:58pm

HemlockGrey wrote:Manos: The Hands of Fate

No, Manos needs to be seen. It's funny even without the MST3K guys making fun of it.

StarDestroyer.Net BBS

Movie Recommendations (movies to avoid)

Heaven's Gate.