Stargate: The Ark of Truth (Spoilers)

[JediToren]

It sucks ass. Big, fat, hairy, freckled ass.

The entire affair is one deus ex machina after another. Every problem in the entire movie is solved by one. What's worse is that that the various cop-out endings are all nested, so the first deus ex machina starts a series of them like a row of dominos.

Here is the ending, just to make you realize how much it sucks.
SG-1 is looking for the ark on the main Ori planet, and they find it. But then Ori soldiers show up and start shooting. Teal'c goes down. He's not dead, but the idiot Ori soldiers assume he is without checking, capture SG-1 and take them back to the main Ori city where they are imprisoned and tortured (cue cheesy slow motion shots and bad over acting).
Teal'c wakes up, gets up and as if inspired by the Lord of the Rings, we are treated to an endless number of shots of Teal'c walking through the mountains to get to the main Ori city (they were in the mountains, a long ass way from the main city). There are lots of shots and a lot of triumphant music as he soldiers on in search of his friends. Once he is almost there he collapses and is about to die, but his wounds magically heal thanks to Morgan LeFay.
While rotting in prison, Daniel is visited by Morgan and tells him what to do. Then Teal'c shows up in disguise and they all escape and go to Adriana's worship room. Morgan is distracting her while they try and figure out the ark (which is in Adriana's worship room, BTW). Morgan shows Vala the correct keys to push on the ark to make it work, but Vala only remembers a couple of them, thus allowing Daniel to figure it out just in time.
Adriana shows up again, as does the Orici guy played by Julian Sands. Daniel makes the ark work, and Teal'c blasts the table that it is sitting on so that it falls, opens, and de-converts the Orici.
It doesn't end there. We find out that all the priors in the whole Ori galaxy are conveniently 'connected' to each other via their staffs, so the ark's effects instantly spread to all priors in the whole galaxy. The Orion or whatever ship the good guys have is under attack and about to be blown away by a bunch of Ori ships when they stop attacking because of the ark.
This causes yet another deus ex machina because, without all the worship power, Adriana is now on a level playing field with Morgan LeFay. They both turn into glowing clouds and bash into each other a couple of times.
The SGC also has a captured prior, so they use the ark on him to turn everyone in the milky way against the Ori.

There is also a dumb sub-plot involving the old school replicators and a useless IOA agent who uses the Asgard machine to make a replicator bug that is immune to the ARG weapon. The plan is to make the replicators destroy the Ori (the IOA's idea) and consume the Ori galaxy. Things go wrong of course and it starts taking over the human ship. It turns the IOA guy into a Borg-Terminator of sorts, but just when the bugs are about to win, the IOA agent's personality breaks through and tells Cameron about the secret "all replicators die" code they built in, thus allowing Carter command to them all to fall apart die at the last minute. This sub-plot consists of lots of shooting replicator bugs and exists only to consume screen time.

Dumb, dumb, dumb. I know SG-1 has declined in quality but this thing is sub-par even for them. I hope Stargate:Continuum is better than this turd.

[dragon]

Ok did they even touch at all on the fact that they killed the ori in their home galaxy or all the super tech they got from the Asgard. Considering the one human ship they modified whomped the shit out of several of the toilet bowl ships.

[Murazor]

Ok did they even touch at all on the fact that they killed the ori in their home galaxy.

Mostly, they don't. At first, there are some lines from one of the anti-Ori resistance fighters that tell the SG people about rumours regarding the destruction of the Halls of Flame in Celestis. Despite these rumours, it seems that there has been no serious upheaval in the Ori worlds.

At the end, we are told that the Orici is so, so sorry and that Vala's ex is going back as a leader to help their galaxy evolve down the path of good and puppies. I might have missed it, but I think that there are no comments about what exactly happens with the hundreds of worlds that had been conquered by the crusade in the Milky Way.

We are clearly supposed to believe that they just pack and leave, no questions asked. In other words, big time reset button pushing. A poorly handled storyline (particularly after season 9) that has a very disappointing ending. Let's hope that Continuum and Universe don't suck quite as much as this one.

or all the super tech they got from the Asgard. Considering the one human ship they modified whomped the shit out of several of the toilet bowl ships.

After a fashion, they do. During the Replicator crisis, the human ship is attacked by four Orii motherships that blast at it for several minutes without destroying it. If anything, it seems that the Asgard shields are now far more effective than what we saw in Unending.

[ray245]

Well...maybe a movie alone does not have enough time for them to wrap the storyline properly.

[Ghost Rider]

Well...maybe a movie alone does not have enough time for them to wrap the storyline properly.

Really, for a spam retard like you, this dumber then usual. Two people mention other movies to finish a storyline properly if need be, thus the reviewer is not asking anything of the sort, He is saying that a movie's time doesn't excuse the overuse of magical wins out of hand. The review is not asking for a complete closure, but instead of harping on the fact the movie itself does nothing more then go "SG-1 wins in the end, because it's SG-1 and are blessed by the writers".

Try and make something more substational then your usual retard approach.

[Cecelia5578]

By far the best part of the movie was the full orchestral score.

[JediToren]

Ok did they even touch at all on the fact that they killed the ori in their home galaxy.

Sort of. They mention the Ori-killer weapon a few times, and when they encounter the ascended Adriana, she thanks them for killing the Ori off, since now she gets all the worship-power instead of it being spread to all the Ori. that's about it, though, other than the rumors of the flames being out as Murazor mentioned.

I might have missed it, but I think that there are no comments about what exactly happens with the hundreds of worlds that had been conquered by the crusade in the Milky Way.

Back in the SGC, they give their captured prior a staff, and turn on the ark, thus causing all prior's in the Milky Way to deconvert from origin as well.

[JediToren]

By far the best part of the movie was the full orchestral score.

The best and only good part, I'm afraid. Well that and the fact that we won't have to here about the Ori crap much anymore.

[Murazor]

Back in the SGC, they give their captured prior a staff, and turn on the ark, thus causing all prior's in the Milky Way to deconvert from origin as well.

I mean that we don't get to see any of the aftermath, no mention of Ori followers and/or Priors going into denial, no disenchanted Ori warriors going warlord with their new pretty little empires... It's just a matter of zapping Mr. One-Eye prior and then they go...

"Well sorry about that. We are leaving now."

"Fine, dudes. Have a nice trip back home."

No mention of actual consequences other than "we are leaving" which is extremely lazy, considering that the Ori pretty much pounded the Milky Way civilizations into the ground, recreating the vacuum that existed after the fall of the Goa'uld.

[NecronLord]

It's not just a disbelief device, it's a brainwash device.

The Priors aren't just suddenly thinking it's a sham; they appear to have become reasonable people instantly. Their armies will leave, because the priors say to. And the priors aren't likely to go warlord, because they've all just been shot with a mind control ray that makes them into reasonable people - if the Doci's reaction is typical, it occurs that they won't be up to much in the near future at all.

Though it'd be hilarious if they all stopped believing in Origin, and just started worshipping Anubis instead.

And no one, surely, would be fool enough to try and get in their way.

Of course, there'd still be masses of long term fallout, especially in the Ori galaxy, but that's not really within the scope of the film.

[His Divine Shadow]

Hopefully the Goa'uld makes a come back then. Far more interesting villains than the Ori.

[Darth Onasi]

Though it'd be hilarious if they all stopped believing in Origin, and just started worshipping Anubis instead.

Anubis is a royal bore. Methinks it's time for Apophis to make a comeback..

[NecronLord]

Anubis is a royal bore. Methinks it's time for Apophis to make a comeback..

The thing is, he wouldn't impress them.

[His Divine Shadow]

I'm tired of ancients and ascendant beings, I was tired of ancients and their "we tie into everything" shenanigans a loong time ago. Give us back good ole Goa'ulds

[PREDATOR490]

Well... they havent dealt with Baal yet have they ?

The Ark is still lying around and just prime for someone to steal it...

As for the Ark itself. I thought the thing was only supposed to be able to brainwash people of things that were true. Thats the whole vibe I got from her yapping about being a 'true god by any definition'
Regardless, I dont see the next films being that good if this is the kind of thing they are doing. It might as well just have been a two part episode rather than some epic finale.

[Rommie2006]

I agree the plot was stupid. Replicators was retarded...

Also, why was SGC freaking out when the Ori motherships appeared in the Sol system? Wasn't it established in some episode, in an alternate reality that by using the ZPM + US Electrical Power output they could essentially "phase-cloak" the entire planet, thus making Earth impervious to Ori weapons?

[Cecelia5578]

I agree the plot was stupid. Replicators was retarded...

Also, why was SGC freaking out when the Ori motherships appeared in the Sol system? Wasn't it established in some episode, in an alternate reality that by using the ZPM + US Electrical Power output they could essentially "phase-cloak" the entire planet, thus making Earth impervious to Ori weapons?

Well, that was in an alternate reality-in Ark, did Earth even have a ZPM to spare?

[CaptJodan]

I agree the plot was stupid. Replicators was retarded...

Also, why was SGC freaking out when the Ori motherships appeared in the Sol system? Wasn't it established in some episode, in an alternate reality that by using the ZPM + US Electrical Power output they could essentially "phase-cloak" the entire planet, thus making Earth impervious to Ori weapons?

This was a serious problem I had with "Ark" as well. There was no reason they couldn't duplicate the same trick, especially since this Earth had a ZPM powering the chair.

The replicator subplot was, in my view, just stupid. They really needed all the time they could get in this story to resolve the Ori question, and instead, they wasted a huge chunk on a completely unimportant segment of the movie. "Be All my Sins..." would have made a better movie, quite frankly, and it was only an hour long.

[NecronLord]

As for the Ark itself. I thought the thing was only supposed to be able to brainwash people of things that were true.

Then where's the massive potential for abuse in the technology? I'd assume the Ark itself is programmed to instill a rationalist point of view, but that this could be altered if one understood it.

[PREDATOR490]

Phase cloaking the planet wouldnt work too well since the other reality had the programme exposed. Even with a ZPM, doing such a feat is likely to attract major attention assuming they dont have to draw any additional power like they did before.
Now, if the writers had balls or an element of daring they would expose the programme but of course they wont hence this idea gets swept under the rug.

I will agree on the Replicator thing. The Replicator plots have been done WAY too much but at least the past replicators werent INTENTIONALLY created to be a menace. Here we have the assholes of the IOA who choose to do nothing 90% of the time, create a 'super' replicator on board their most advanced warship with Asgard technology in a hostile galaxy that has Ancient based technology. They all magically forgot the Replicators have been demonstrated as uncontrollable and nigh unstoppable if allowed to propagate unchecked.
Additionally, the IOA guy's refusal to help is just pure stupidity as is the reluctance towards getting him to do so. Mitchell was all for threatening Mckay with a Lemon to make him work or hold hostages but wont consider interrogating the IOA agent for answers ?
Then they leave him in a room completely unguarded while Replicators are running around the ship and he is the ONLY one who knows how to disable them ?
Why not tell them how to disable the Replicator and prevent them destroying the most valuable strategic asset in Earth's possession ? The IOA may not care about the legacy of the Asgard but your throwing away a ship with advanced technology to the REPLICATORS. Sure, destroy the supergate cuts them off until they use the ZPM to dial a smaller gate elsewhere or supercharge a ship into traveling fast enough to reach them in hyperspace.

[CaptJodan]

Phase cloaking the planet wouldnt work too well since the other reality had the programme exposed. Even with a ZPM, doing such a feat is likely to attract major attention assuming they dont have to draw any additional power like they did before.

Really? I mean...really? You think that exposing the Stargate program to the public is really the biggest thing to be worrying about when your planet's about to be roasted by the Ori?

In the long run, it's about saving the planet. They can worry about the reprocussions of the exposure to the Stargate program later, but I think saving the planet would be a priority, especially since Landry seemed to have no idea how they were going to save the planet without SG-1. What they had wasn't enough.

Sam seemed to think that a fully charged ZPM like Earth has was going to be enough for the job. And when it comes to not exposing the Stargate program right before having your teeth kicked in by the Ori, or exposing it and saving the world, I think that's a pretty easy choice. So no, I still don't think there's really any valid reason for Landry to be worried. They should have had the phase cloak ready as a standby measure if the 2 304s and chair couldn't hold off the Ori (which, of course, they couldn't). But that's just another in a long list of really bad, stupid things that went on in this movie.

[Ford Prefect]

This was a serious problem I had with "Ark" as well. There was no reason they couldn't duplicate the same trick, especially since this Earth had a ZPM powering the chair.

Err, that's not a feat you can just replicate on a whim; it took the alternate earth years to modify existing infrastructure to support the world cloak. It was not the sort of edge of seat, at the last minute, you have ten seconds Rodney! kind of plan.

Not that I've seen this movie, so maybe they suggest or something, but as I recall, it's not something you do out of hand on a moment's notice.

[Rommie2006]

All things considered, while alt-Earth had probably been working on the phase-cloak for sometime, "logically" speaking the real-Earth should too, after they learn about it. I think several months should have passed from that episode to the Ark of Truth.

Besides the idea that they have no contingency plan whatsoever makes it really dumb. IOA for all its brains come up with a dumb replicator "contingency plan" for the expedition to the Ori galaxy. And no plans to defend Earth while that fails?

[Chris OFarrell]

This was a serious problem I had with "Ark" as well. There was no reason they couldn't duplicate the same trick, especially since this Earth had a ZPM powering the chair.

Err, that's not a feat you can just replicate on a whim; it took the alternate earth years to modify existing infrastructure to support the world cloak. It was not the sort of edge of seat, at the last minute, you have ten seconds Rodney! kind of plan.

Not that I've seen this movie, so maybe they suggest or something, but as I recall, it's not something you do out of hand on a moment's notice.

It only took so long to set up because THAT Earth didn't have enough power in its ZPM and they had to supplement the ZPM/Naquadah reactor power with the power grid on the CONUS, THAT was the infrastructure they had built for some time. The technology itself was perfected by Carter in that episode and she returned with it AND Earth has a fully charged ZPM to power it.

So it really WOULD be a five minute job. Its almost certain that the device was installed in the outpost for emergencies.

Really, I'm increasingly getting pissed off with the Stargate writing. During SG1, they were all but fanatic about continuity, although they let it slide over the last few seasons somewhat, but its getting increasingly sloppy.

[CaptJodan]

Err, that's not a feat you can just replicate on a whim; it took the alternate earth years to modify existing infrastructure to support the world cloak. It was not the sort of edge of seat, at the last minute, you have ten seconds Rodney! kind of plan.

Check the episode again. They didn't even HAVE the cloak until Carter showed up to tell them it existed. Only after Carter told them about it were they able to find it in their own archives. They didn't know what it was before she showed up.

LANDRY: This one's ours?

LEE: Yes sir, this one is ours. It was among the artifacts we found in the Cave of Glastonbury, where she said it was, and remarkably it has been in storage ever since, because we did not know what it was.

They weren't preparing that infrastructure for the cloak, they were preparing it for a almost depleted ZPM to be used in conjunction with the power grid to power the chair.

CARTER: Well, the field size can be manipulated. That's what I was working on when I was brought here. Our plan was to hide the entire planet. *Lorne and Hammond look to Lee*

Shows that in the standard universe, this WAS the plan they were working on. In fact, it was the reason Carter was in the mirror universe in the first place. This wasn't an idea she just pulled out of her ass on the spot in the mirror universe.