Hilarious Christian rock video

Rye · Post by **Rye** » 2008-03-09 08:59pm

SancheztheWhaler wrote:They're Canadian

So sad...

That's fucking awesome, they have their own "bibletoons" show! With Token Black on bass!!

aerius · Post by **aerius** » 2008-03-09 09:05pm

Well, that would definitely explain why they look like a band straight out of YTV.

darthdavid · Post by **darthdavid** » 2008-03-09 10:26pm

My response...

Metatwaddle · Post by **Metatwaddle** » 2008-03-10 03:01am

Hey, I see CplKendall posted in the Youtube comments. *waves*

Anyway, I'm a masochist and I started watching other videos of this group, but none of them were as funny as the one Mike linked to.

Rock Steady made me think I was in 1999; it's got all the trappings of one of those old Britney Spears or 'N Sync music videos. The music and the dancing both look exactly the same, and there's even bad lip syncing.

Sinking Stone is a really badly written ballad, but the male band members have the same awful hairstyles and the stage has the same overly bright colors as they did in the video Mike linked to. I'm guessing it's from the same performance.

Searching is partly a cartoon, clearly from the kids' show. It has the singer listing "big questions" - who am I? what's my purpose? how do I find love? - and then saying, "You've been searching, but the answer is so hard to find" and then proceeding to say that the answer lies with God. Hard to find, indeed. Christianity does such a good job of hiding itself in the West! The video also features a cartoon character in a spacesuit, sitting on rainbow-colored rings of a planet. I'm not sure if they're taking God's gift to Noah back from the ebil gays, or if they just didn't think it all the way through.

Feil · Post by **Feil** » 2008-03-10 04:19am

Eh. Believe it or not, Mike, this is about average for Christian music. If you're a moderately skilled garage band with a bible handy, you can go Christian, and you'll sell records.

Aaron · Post by **Aaron** » 2008-03-10 07:45am

Metatwaddle wrote:Hey, I see CplKendall posted in the Youtube comments. *waves*

And I have again, are you Kthonix?

Metatwaddle · Post by **Metatwaddle** » 2008-03-10 11:32am

Cpl Kendall wrote:
Metatwaddle wrote:Hey, I see CplKendall posted in the Youtube comments. *waves*
And I have again, are you Kthonix?

No, I haven't actually posted over there yet. I was going to, but I couldn't think of a comment suitably snarky for it. And kthonix said a lot of what I wanted to say about the vacant expressions and the insistence - in their big empty smiles, their wide-eyed looks, their wacky hairstyles, and most of all the bright colors - that they're having fun. There's something soulless about it all.

Gil Hamilton · Post by **Gil Hamilton** » 2008-03-10 11:39am

Feil wrote:Eh. Believe it or not, Mike, this is about average for Christian music. If you're a moderately skilled garage band with a bible handy, you can go Christian, and you'll sell records.

But just remember, your album can never go Platinum, just Myrrh. Or double-Myrrh if you sell enough.

TithonusSyndrome · Post by **TithonusSyndrome** » 2008-03-10 11:43pm

Zuul wrote:Not to derail the thread, but yeah, I know of Mortification (they're not that bad, despite the early 90s assy production values [though I certainly wouldn't buy any of their stuff])

Again, not to derail the thread, but if you don't like early 90's death metal as actually compared with the modern swill that comes off of the assembly line of mid-size labels with all the balls thoroughly slashed off neatly by sterile over-production, then I should give your address to Allen West.

I prefer my metal to not sound like someone figured out a MIDI tone for a detuned guitar and ran it through Fruity Loops.

Rye · Post by **Rye** » 2008-03-11 08:09am

TithonusSyndrome wrote: Again, not to derail the thread, but if you don't like early 90's death metal as actually compared with the modern swill that comes off of the assembly line of mid-size labels with all the balls thoroughly slashed off neatly by sterile over-production, then I should give your address to Allen West. I prefer my metal to not sound like someone figured out a MIDI tone for a detuned guitar and ran it through Fruity Loops.

Heh, I'm not dissing the decent production of early 90s bands (Carcass actually have some of my favourite guitar tones ever, from Necroticism up to Wake Up), just the large amounts of "early" albums I have from bands in that era sound like ass compared to more recent albums. I know this is probably heresy, but I vastly prefer the production on Domination by Morbid Angel to Altars of Madness and Blessed are the Sick and even Covenant, which everyone else seems to wank over. I thought Formulas was an unpleasant step back in production, though I still love the songs on it. A good band for what I'm talking about would be one of my favourites of all time, Grave, early on, they sound like muddy ass, but around the turn of the millenium they got access to decent production and it's all awesome.

Nile (probably one of my favourite bands, production-wise) did a similar thing where the production on Black Seeds of Vengeance where it was worse than their first album. No idea what happened there. Anyway, Christian death metal is an antithetical sub-subgenre of a type of music with relatively low mass appeal anyway, it's not unusual for bands like Mortification to sound like ass if they're such a niche market.

RedImperator · Post by **RedImperator** » 2008-03-12 06:29pm

Adrian Laguna wrote:Interestingly, my sister doesn't like Christian songs, she says they make her feel uncomfortable. I think it's funny that she's more religious than I am, but she won't listen to Possum Kingdom by the Toadies because of the line, "So help me Jesus". She made me change the station when that song came-up, and the Toadies aren't even a Christian rock band.

To be fair, maybe she made you change the station because that song is a piece of shit.

Alerik the Fortunate · Post by **Alerik the Fortunate** » 2008-03-17 08:11pm

After about 10 seconds I had to switch to Jerry Goldsmith's soundtrack to The Omen to compensate. Honestly I'd prefer a second coming of Jerry Goldsmith to the return of Christ.

Rye · Post by **Rye** » 2008-03-17 09:13pm

Man, watching that video again, it's incredibly lazily done, like the heart of the director wasn't even in it. They don't even have any amps or cables coming from their guitars! Nor do they have those little battery powered jack transmitter things. Every part of me, antichrist, musician and media hack is screaming out at the shiteness in that.

hongi · Post by **hongi** » 2008-03-18 04:01am

I believe I win the competition, I stopped it at 8 seconds the first time. The drummer's expression just left me WTF? And then I think, okay...maybe he's trying to be enthusiastic...and then at 0:10 he does the same thing and I just couldn't keep on listening. The video doesn't make me laugh, it creeps me out.