Angry gnome terrorizes Argentinian town

CaptainChewbacca · Post by **CaptainChewbacca** » 2008-03-11 07:04pm

'Creepy gnome' terrorises town

A TOWN in South America is living in fear after several sightings of a 'creepy gnome' that locals claim stalks the streets at night.

The midget - which wears a pointy hat and has a distinctive sideways walk - was caught on video last week by a terrified group of youngsters.

Teenager Jose Alvarez - who filmed the gnome - yesterday told national newspaper El Tribuno that they caught the creature while larking about in their hometown of General Guemes, in the province of Salta, Argentina.

He said: “We were chatting about our last fishing trip. It was one in the morning.

“I began to film a bit with my mobile phone while the others were chatting and joking.

"Suddenly we heard something - a weird noise as if someone was throwing stones.

"We looked to one side and saw that the grass was moving. To begin with we thought it was a dog but when we saw this gnome-like figure begin to emerge we were really afraid."

Jose added that other locals had come forward to say they had spotted the gnome.

He said: “This is no joke. We are still afraid to go out - just like everyone else in the neighbourhood now.

"One of my friends was so scared after seeing that thing that we had to take him to the hospital.”

Okay, now THIS is the greatest headline ever. Can we get a comment from the Great Gnomish Conspiracy?

Superman · Post by **Superman** » 2008-03-11 07:07pm

I get that they're kids... but they're scared shitless of a midget? What kind of pussy kids are growing up over in South America?

Big Orange · Post by **Big Orange** » 2008-03-11 07:19pm

It's an eccentric short person who is dressed up funny and teasing a load of jumpy kids with overreactive imaginations. This is their phone clip here.

Superman · Post by **Superman** » 2008-03-11 07:21pm

Big Orange wrote:It's an eccentric short person who is dressed up funny and teasing a load of jumpy kids with overreactive imaginations. This is their phone clip here.

I wonder why they wouldn't try to catch it so they could take its gold. I know that's supposed to be leprechauns... but you never know, maybe midgets and gnomes have gold too. It would have been worth a try.

Big Phil · Post by **Big Phil** » 2008-03-11 07:24pm

Superman wrote:I get that they're kids... but they're scared shitless of a midget? What kind of pussy kids are growing up over in South America?

Argentina - where long, greasy 70's hair still gets you pussy...

Big Orange · Post by **Big Orange** » 2008-03-11 07:28pm

Superman wrote: I wonder why they wouldn't try to catch it so they could take its gold. I know that's supposed to be leprechauns... but you never know, maybe midgets and gnomes have gold too. It would have been worth a try.

If this happened in Britain it would most likely be Chavs and other louts hanging about, pissed/high out of their skulls; they would more likely try and kick him, rather than run away.

Darth Servo · Post by **Darth Servo** » 2008-03-11 09:44pm

So walking around after dark is "stalking" now?

Superman · Post by **Superman** » 2008-03-11 09:50pm

Darth Servo wrote:So walking around after dark is "stalking" now?

If you're a midget, then yes.

Superman · Post by **Superman** » 2008-03-11 09:54pm

And by the way, is anyone else thinking that these kids might know a little more about the situation than they're letting on?

Oni Koneko Damien · Post by **Oni Koneko Damien** » 2008-03-11 11:05pm

You know, I was wondering why Darth Garden Gnome hadn't been posting much lately. Apparently he's been out building his own Empire of Fear to counteract the rising power of Chewbaccistan.

chitoryu12 · Post by **chitoryu12** » 2008-03-16 11:54am

Superman wrote:And by the way, is anyone else thinking that these kids might know a little more about the situation than they're letting on?

Very likely, yes. Notice how the guy in the video screams like a little girl after staring at a midget in a pointy hat for a good ten seconds or so. How many people have such a delayed reaction to something so stupid? Either it's a setup, or the kids have the slowest working brains in Argentina.

Macross · Post by **Macross** » 2008-03-17 12:31am

Damn those kids!

They just cost Argentina its Travelocity Guarantee!

Zablorg · Post by **Zablorg** » 2008-03-17 01:08am

I am willing to bet large amounts of money that this will be labeled as an alien in the close future.

Old Plympto · Post by **Old Plympto** » 2008-03-17 01:18am

This is obviously an outbreak of long integrated tcho-tchos returning to form. Of course, Lloigor and Zhar will soon emerge in Argentina.

Mr. Coffee · Post by **Mr. Coffee** » 2008-03-17 02:03am

So basically I could make a fucking fortune in Argentina as a professional dwarf tosser.

FA Xerrik · Post by **FA Xerrik** » 2008-03-17 02:06am

Wow, I wonder how they made that? It looks way too small to be an actual person, maybe like 2 feet tall at most.