Sith Lord on the rampage in Holyhead

[dr. what]

If you strike me down I shall become more powerful than - ow! Fuck! Stop hitting me, you tosser!

A Star Wars fan got closer to his idols than he would perhaps have liked when he was attacked in his garden by Darth Vader.

Jedi Master Jonba Hehol - known to family and friends as Barney Jones, 36, of Holyhead - was giving a TV interview in his back garden for a documentary when a man, dressed in a black bin-bag and wearing Darth Vader's trademark shiny black helmet, leapt over his garden fence.

Wielding a metal crutch - his lightsaber presumably being in for repairs - the Sith Lord proceeded to lay about his opponent, whose Jedi powers proved inadequate for the task of defending himself.

After besting Master Hehol in single combat, Vader, who The Sun reports was under the influence of alcohol, went on to assault the camera crew and a hairdresser.

Master Hehol, a hairdresser, who founded the first-ever British Jedi Church in loving homage to the world-famous science fiction franchise with his brother Daniel, was unimpressed by the revenge of the Sith.

"This wasn't a joke. This was serious," he said.

Police are investigating a claim of assault.

The Jedi "religion" was born as a joke in the 2001 census, when almost 400,000 people claimed to believe in the Jedi faith.

Based on the teachings of Yoda, the crinkly green dwarf of the films, the "church" has a branch in Florida and plans to open another in the Philippines.

[Admiral Valdemar]

"This wasn't a joke. This was serious," he said.

Hell no. This is fucking hilarious!

[wautd]

Those Jedi fundies are pissing me off. Every day it's "Behead those who claim Jediism is a joke!" here "Dirka dirka Yoda Jihad!" there. Not to mention their pseudoscience as an attempt to disprove the superiority of Star Trek

[Guardsman Bass]

[seriousness]This was assault, and should be fully prosecuted. [/seriousness]

To be nonserious, though - what kind of Jedi Master is this guy? Shouldn't he be aware that the Sith are always after Jedi - it's this kind of sitting-down attitude that got the Jedi wiped out in the first place!

[Havok]

Screw prosecution. You don't get to claim to be a Jedi MASTER and then get your ass handed to you by a surprise attack from a drunk Sith Lord, and then get to complain about it. I mean, was the crutch made of Traviswank Mandalorian metal? They should send this guy to the drop out farm.

[Admiral Valdemar]

It'd be great if Lucas summoned him to his ranch in order to give him a firm dressing down because of this lack of preparation for all eventualities.

[El Moose Monstero]

I'd be inclined to let the drunken Vader off, it is Wales, he was probably out celebrating his sheep's pregnancy. Little does he know that she's pregnant with twins and that they will lead him back to the path of light.

[Sidewinder]

Do the Jedi have any rules for demoting members for incompetence? I second Havokeff, the guy was clearly deluding himself when he declared himself a Jedi Master.

[Zixinus]

You can't make this shit up.

A small part of my brain says that this is a sad example of how fanboyism is taken too far, but my other section of my brain can't stop smirking.

[Shroom Man 777]

Based on the teachings of Yoda, the crinkly green dwarf of the films, the "church" has a branch in Florida and plans to open another in the Philippines.

[/quote]

Huh? What?

What?

Your username suits you well, dr. what.

Damn. If they do open up in the Philippines, maybe I should join up. What say you, guys?

[Vehrec]

This Vader-imitator is obviously a practioner of the world's most dangerous Martial Art, Llap Goch. Given that it's main tennats are to attack people who don't even know they are your enemies and take their wallet, it would seem we have a near master on our hands. If only Jedi didn't forswear personal possessions, he might have been able to get some cash.

[cosmicalstorm]

Those Jedi fundies are pissing me off. Every day it's "Behead those who claim Jediism is a joke!" here "Dirka dirka Yoda Jihad!" there. Not to mention their pseudoscience as an attempt to disprove the superiority of Star Trek

Seriously, two thousand years down the road, what you just said might not be a joke, they might have a jedi-bible and everything to support it. These things have happened before in our history.