Hillary's dark secret

[Oni Koneko Damien]

The beeb

Derrick Astleyuson
Senior Correspondent
BBC

Democratic hopeful, Mrs. Hillary Rodham Clinton, has always been a staunch supporter of women's rights, and if elected, would be the first female president of the United States of America. But is this really true?

Millions of women support Hillary, believing that the first female president will usher in a new era for women's rights. But recently surfaced testimony and documents cast doubt on the assertion that Hillary Rodham Clinton is, in fact, a woman. According to doctors David A. Garrett and Winsley Lefail, the second-place Democratic contender has actually only been a woman for a little under eighteen years. They have come forward and made allegations that Hillary, formerly Harold Rodham, had spent several years of his or her life undergoing hormone treatment, extended therapy, and an eventual surgery to convert himself from a man to a woman.

According to the Gallup poll, nearly 20,000 Americans are considered 'transgendered', 72% 'female to male' and 28% 'male to female'. "She was an excellent patient," said Dr. Garrett, "and a huge supporter of equal rights. It was her strong belief that as far as human rights are concerned, gender was completely irrelevant."

"It's incredible news," states Amanda Hertsfeld, a democratic caucus organizer, "I fully support this and hope the spreading of this news will lead to a greater awareness of a little known, but highly discriminated against minority."

Not all agree with this optimistic outlook, though. Gary Davidson, a former Hillary-supporter who now intends to vote for McCain in the general elections had this to say: "God made us who we are for a reason. If you are born a man, or born a woman, there was a reason for that. To attempt to change that shows not only a lack of trust in God, but a lack of trust in yourself. I don't want someone like that as my president."

The campaign offices of Hillary Clinton could not be reached for comment at this time.

[General Zod]

As easy as it is to believe this, close but no cigar.

[That NOS Guy]

So you're saying that her claim that's she's never gonna give up on women's rights is all a lie? Astounding.

[Eleas]

"God made us who we are for a reason. If you are born a man, or born a woman, there was a reason for that. To attempt to change that shows not only a lack of trust in God, but a lack of trust in yourself. I don't want someone like that as my president."

This is just fucking vile. So I suppose if a person is born blind, or mute, or haemophiliac, there's a reason for that as well, and changing that shows a lack of trust in your invisible friend who, in His mercy, screwed you over for life?

The rhetoric is sickening, but in this case it's obviously not even consisten. It's really just a cheap way of rationalizing the deeper issue common to scum like Davidson: the terrified fear that as long as people keep insisting on being unique, then some day, when he least expects it, Davidson will catch the Gay.

[Eleas]

...okay, I'm stupid. Apparently it's April 1st today. Yes, I was just as surprised as you were.

[K. A. Pital]

1408

[Oni Koneko Damien]

...okay, I'm stupid. Apparently it's April 1st today. Yes, I was just as surprised as you were.

Protip: Derrick Astleyuson.

"Never gonna give you up! Never gonna let you down!"

[Eleas]

Protip: Derrick Astleyuson.

"Never gonna give you up! Never gonna let you down!"

I'm not a fan of Opera.

[General Zod]

Protip: Derrick Astleyuson.

"Never gonna give you up! Never gonna let you down!"

I'm not a fan of Opera.

Rick Astley is not Opera. Hint: Google "Rickroll".

[Molyneux]

1408

Holy fuck! The room's doing it! It's doing it all!

[Eleas]

I'm not a fan of Opera.

Rick Astley is not Opera. Hint: Google "Rickroll".

Nice try. I knows what I knows, goddammit, and Astley is high fucking art.

[Gomu Niwatari]

My advice to everyone that doesn't get it: click the link.