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The Yosemite Bear
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Post by The Yosemite Bear »

Radio Traffic:

"Mayday, This is light cargo ship 'Elise Day' we are under attack. It's fried our engines, theres tentecles everywhere!, please-"


Bear Republic:
"It appears that the earthquake and magma venting into the ocean between us and the Red Technocracy, has stired up a lot of the native life."

"There also appears to be a problem with a smaller predator. This one seems to be activly hunting people in the disaster area, we have reports that the damn things are 10 meters long, from jaw to tail, and very fast moving."
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The scariest folk song lyrics are "My Boy Grew up to be just like me" from cats in the cradle by Harry Chapin
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Shroom Man 777
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Post by Shroom Man 777 »

Um. The Flattop's emergency disaster response crew, aside from including doctors and nurses, also has a lot of Mushroom Marines to do heavy lifting and grunt-work and disaster-relief potato-peeling.



"Monsters?!" the Prime Minister gave him an incredulous look. "Motherfucking monsters?! Holy crap!"

"What do we do, sir?"

"Well... the Shroomanian Scientific Society wanted to do some cryptozoology, so now's their chance. Send them in with a couple of destroyers, arm them with depth-charges. And Marines, we need a lot of Mushroom Marines. Put some Marines on that ACV science-vessel. Goddamn it."

"I'll get to it. Do you have anything specific for the Science Society?"

"Tell them to do autopsies. A lot of autopsies."

"At once, sir."

"I can't believe those RetroRegressive pricks were right. God...damn it!"

The Prime Minister rubbed his forehead.

"Goddamn Libertopians."



[What have I done?! This sea-monster shit is all MY fault! Motherfucking RetroRegressive Shroomanian Sentinel shitheads! Way to go, fuckers!]
Image "DO YOU WORSHIP HOMOSEXUALS?" - Curtis Saxton (source)
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Shit! Man, I didn't think of that! It took Shroom to properly interpret the screams of dying people :D - PeZook
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Post by RogueIce »

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"How can I wait unknowing?
This is the price of war,
We rise with noble intentions,
And we risk all that is pure..." - Angela & Jeff van Dyck, Forever (Rome: Total War)

"On and on, through the years,
The war continues on..." - Angela & Jeff van Dyck, We Are All One (Medieval 2: Total War)
"Courage is not the absence of fear, but rather the judgment that something else is more important than fear." - Ambrose Redmoon
"You either die a hero, or you live long enough to see yourself become the villain." - Harvey Dent, The Dark Knight
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The Yosemite Bear
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Post by The Yosemite Bear »

"Flattop, this is Bear Republic Airship "Dawn Lewis", we have casualties in need of medical attention, please have a surgeon with broad spectrum anti-biotics on hand, we are also bringing in a sample for a necropsy.

The co-pilot looked down at the wounded. they were burning up, and their bites smelled like pork marinade.
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The scariest folk song lyrics are "My Boy Grew up to be just like me" from cats in the cradle by Harry Chapin
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Shroom Man 777
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Post by Shroom Man 777 »

[Since I was the first one to react with my 'WTF?!' spit-take post of the Prime Minister, let's assume that after that, he immediately sent the Flattop.]



"What in God's name...what happened to him?"

"The patient's platelet count is far below normal, it's like he swallowed a bottle of aspirin."

"Anti-coagulants... Patient suffered scrotal trauma, amongst other things, and because of the repressed clotting reaction, the damaged blood vessels ended up bursting. Fluid accumulated in his scrotal sac.... it's the size of an overripe mango. We'll have to drain it."

"Lacerations all over the body... looks like it's been made by some kind of animal... I haven't treated any wounds like this before, not even in Syndromia..."

"Some of the patients sustained chemical burns... we're treating them as we speak."

"I'm giving them multiple doses of anti-biotics. Infection is a great risk in their state, especially those who've been bit."

"Quarantine measures have been enacted on those who were in direct contact with the... organisms. We don't know what they might have contracted."

"We've done all we could for them... they're in recovery, and we'll be monitoring their conditions closely. If that Bearship hadn't airlifted them to us..."

"We're disembarking. I'm going with my medical team, to set up a field hospital on-site in the disaster zone. We can't airlift all of our patients on-board, and going on land will help us see the conditions for ourselves..."

"We're getting a contingent of Marines with us. To protect us... from what, I'm not certain. There's been rumors of things coming out of the water... If it's anything like that sample..."

"The sample is in storage. No one on board is qualified or has clearance to touch that thing. They say scientists are being sent here. We'll keep it in the cooler for them."

"We've landed. The conditions are horrible and the local government hasn't been able to cover all of the disaster area yet. They're putting us in an area outside the zone covered by the Bears' own rescue and relief units, so we can expand operations and help more people out."

"We've got enough supplies, helicopters are coming and going - some of them are bringing more supplies, others are bringing more casualties... but we're gonna need a lot more of everything if we want to help all of these people..."

"A few cases have suffered the same injuries as the ones airlifted to the Flattop... more and more are coming daily, it's a trickle, but eventually..."

"We heard gunshots in the night..."
Last edited by Shroom Man 777 on 2008-04-12 02:35pm, edited 1 time in total.
Image "DO YOU WORSHIP HOMOSEXUALS?" - Curtis Saxton (source)
shroom is a lovely boy and i wont hear a bad word against him - LUSY-CHAN!
Shit! Man, I didn't think of that! It took Shroom to properly interpret the screams of dying people :D - PeZook
Shroom, I read out the stuff you write about us. You are an endless supply of morale down here. :p - an OWS street medic
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Mr Bean
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Post by Mr Bean »

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"A cult is a religion with no political power." -Tom Wolfe
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K. A. Pital
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Post by K. A. Pital »

Government communique, Red Technocracy Supreme Council wrote:We are alarmed at Zoria's recent J.S.E.Z. violation and remind Zoria that all Low Earth Orbit launches have to be de-orbited before crossing the Joint Space Exploration Zone to prevent J.S.E.Z. violation. Else, the object will be shot down by the JSEZ nations' air defense.

The rules of the Joint Space Exploration Zone are still in effect until the N.S.C. starts operating in FY 2009.

We stand behind the U.K.B., Zoria's behaviour is not acceptable.
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Zor
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Post by Zor »

His Majesty's government offers a formal apology to the International Community and has decided to ground the Conquest Project for the time being. He is also willing to pay compensation of up to one and a half billion united states dollars to the violated parties.

Zor
HAIL ZOR! WE'LL BLOW UP THE OCEAN!
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Post by Mr Bean »

BBC Reports
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"Getting away from the possible war news today in the Science sector we have some good news from the Space program there. The very first Vulcan class rocket is being assembled in Outer Heaven. This is based off a late 80s Energia rocket design. It is capable of lifting to LEO up to 98,000 kg to MEO just over 31,000 kg and to GEO just over 25,750 kg. Up until now the UKB has been using only Proton based rockets, the Proton is also a Soviet design with over an 90% reliability rating, to date only one UKB launch has failed thanks to the use of this highly reliable rocket. However the Proton M can only lift 21,000 kg into LEO, only 6,200 into MEO and only 2,950 kg into GEO.

Because of the Proton M weight limits the amount able to be carried into orbit has been relatively small. Once the first Vulcan rocket is ready three months from now the Space Minster reports that human space flight will be a very good possibility and that work is on-going in both the Red Technocracy and Shepnukistan for possible orbit. All of that of course is at least a year off and several test flights will need to be conducted first before human lives are risked."

BBC reports

"A cult is a religion with no political power." -Tom Wolfe
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K. A. Pital
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Post by K. A. Pital »

Image

The Foreign Ministry announces long-awaited friendship run!

A friendship run to the harbors of neighboring nations, Sovereignity of Shroomania and the Republic of Shinra, has been authorized by the Supreme Council.

The ship has been chosen: the "Admiral Ushakov", Pr 1155.1 Destroyer.

It will also conduct surveillance mission around Terra Libertia, which has been the site of much pirate activity, and the source of rogue elements slipping to Syndromia and New Gottland; in short, the source of unstability in the entire Central Sea.

The crew has expressed the following upon knowing their high honor:

"Sure, we want to visit our friends, the shroomanians. They have been taking tough fights in the Syndromian hell up south. We're brothers in arms really" - gunner Ivanov.

"The honour is very high; and we shall bravely fly the flags of the Red Techocracy and the O.M.S.K. in the friendly harbours, and with courage step into the unknown and badly charted zones around Terra Libertia" - sailor Morozov.

"The seas are rough, but we shall prevail! The ship's venture shall last about 5 months in total in the Western Ocean, we're sure we'll find new information on the Western Ocean Coastline, and get a friendly message to the folks in Shinra and Shroomania!" - engine technician Zubrov.

The captain could not be reached by the reporters of PRAVDA as he was off-duty this day; apparently he returns tomorrow to take the ship's command.

The sailors have hinted that the captain is already in-harbour, but has taken no less than 3 bottles of Vodka and thus is in no condition to speak.

PRAVDA: Secretary General returns to the Supreme Council Seat; ECSOC data discussed, with heated debates!
ECSOC economic extrapolations for FY 2009: budget and other wrote:

Code: Select all

Total projected income:
Overall income: 437,3 billion
Direct income taxes (state and private companies): 233.9 billion
Sales taxes: 47.4 billion
Tarrifs: 22.1 billion
Fines and other minor sources: 1.3 billion
Obligations: 2.6 billion

Code: Select all

Projected expenditures: 530,7
Social security: 28,4 billion
Medical services: 75,3 billion
Education: 19,1 billion
Military/Defense: 29,7 billion
Police, firefighting: 7,8 billion
Infrastructure maintenance: 46,7 billion
Investment in domestic industries: 320 billion (including joint Future Bridge: 25 billion into it's construction slated for FYs 2009, 2010, 2011, 2012 breakdown evenly)
Representative spending: 2,1 billion
Other: 1,9 billion
Projected budget deficit for FY 2009: 93,37 billion due to general and [classified] overspending, financed through obligation and specific international transactions

Code: Select all

Military budget breakdown:

Total budget: 29,7 billion
Maintenance and fuel: 13,33 billion
Procurement: 7,23 billion [procurement items classified]
Replacement of weapons lost during Syndromian operations: 0,12 billion
R&D: 7,02 billion
Foreign deployments: 2 billion
Other economic ministry figures:
Projected GDP growth: 4,5%
Projected industrial sectors growth: 14,1%
Heated debates rocked the Supreme Council as the Secretary General was to answer about the overspending.

"You're running the country into the ground with your unexplainable actions!" - said one representative aloud, Yulia Ogon'kova, a former factory plant worker.

The Secretary responded that the budget is strong on investment, the projected growth, especially in industrial sectors, is good.

The Supreme Council however, voted to authorize the budget, relying on the authority of the ECSOC and the Secretary General, in a vote, 161-70.

[@ note to all guys: economic growth in 1st world level nations, especially for the bigger ones, is generally slow and that's not so easy to change, maybe not at all. that's nothing but a general line, but remember that. this means that essentially proportions of our GDP stay the same (unless war or something happens) and no rapid GDP-doublings by states may rise here]
Lì ci sono chiese, macerie, moschee e questure, lì frontiere, prezzi inaccessibile e freddure
Lì paludi, minacce, cecchini coi fucili, documenti, file notturne e clandestini
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PeZook
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Post by PeZook »

FCS ship "Prototype One", 100 nautical miles from the Bear Republic

The Republic, in its drive to help people stricken by the earthquake, has eagerly sent out four FCS prototypes loaded with food, supplies, blankets, chemical heaters and whatever else they could find. The ships were loaded quickly and haphazardly, amidst frantic construction activity of new vessels, student protests against the new missile factory and God knows what else.

Add to this construction faults and problems typical for prototypes of completely new designs, and it wasn't very surprising that captain Leo Bosht was fast on the way to becoming a nervous wreck.

"What is taking so long, goddammit? You were supposed to have the turbine on-line in two hours!"

"How about you try to do this yourself, skipper? This is one of the shitty Republic-made plants...it's not that fucking easy, ok? Now lay off me!" - Prototype One's mechanic was a burly man, who posed for one of those ridiculous calendars ISCA was making. He didn't look so good pissed off and covered in engine lubricant.

I'm just fucking eager to be on my way already! You have one more hour!

If you weren't such a huge goddamned pain...

*bang*

Both men fell silent for a moment.

"What the hell was that?" - captain Bosht asked after a few seconds

*bang*...*screeeeeech*

"Like something's banging on the hull from the outside..."

Suddendly, someone ran down the stairs into the engine room.

"Captain! Captain, something's grabbed Marian from the deck!"

"The hell...get everyone inside right now!"

As he ran up the stairs, he wondered what the hell was going on. Pirate attack? Some sort of unknown animal?

He opened the last hatch and ran to the sonar station...and froze in horror.

EMERGENCY TRANSMISSION ON ALL RESCUE CHANNELS

Code: Select all

Mayday, mayday! This is the RTS "Prototype One", we are being shadowed by a huge swarm of 40 meter long underwater animals! They have attacked our crew and are attacking the ship itself...we are crippled and unable to maneuver! Mayday, mayd...oh my God, that thing is huge! Battle stations! Battle stations! <transmission ends abruptly>
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JULY 20TH 1969 - The day the entire world was looking up

It suddenly struck me that that tiny pea, pretty and blue, was the Earth. I put up my thumb and shut one eye, and my thumb blotted out the planet Earth. I didn't feel like a giant. I felt very, very small.
- NEIL ARMSTRONG, MISSION COMMANDER, APOLLO 11

Signature dedicated to the greatest achievement of mankind.

MILDLY DERANGED PHYSICIST does not mind BREAKING the SOUND BARRIER, because it is INSURED. - Simon_Jester considering the problems of hypersonic flight for Team L.A.M.E.
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Post by Coyote »

2nd HYDROFOIL SQUADRON IN FIGHT WITH BIZARRE SEA CREATURE
Image
RMS TAURON AT SPEED TO RESCUE
While responding to a distress call by a PeZookian freighter, the 2nd Hydrofoil Squadron found itself under attack by a large, tentacled, squid-like creature.

The creature, which had attacked the PeZookian freighter, turned its attention to the newly-arrived patrol vessels of the Royal Canissian Navy, immediately becoming entangled in the undersea foils of one of the craft. Efforts to dislodge the beast by alternate pushing or pulling by other vessels were met with failure, and two sailors lost their lives in the attempt as the creature reached up with its tentacles and dragged the men into the sea.

The attack ended when the Squadron Commander, Corvette Captain Matthew Raimius, ordered a mass-discharge of depth charges from the boats, turning the sea into a churning, bloody morass of sea foam and squid parts.

The blood attracted sharks, which seemed to keep away other squid that might be in the region. The PeZookian frieghter and the damaged hydrofoil had to wait for tow, however, in the shark-infested waters.

A nearby Red Technocracy vessel took the civilian ship into port, while Royal Canissian Navy craft came to the aid of the damaged HMS Gemenon.

Sailors are undergoing psychiatric evaluations, and memorial services for the two missing men will be held at Pearl Point Naval Station.

CANISSIAN SUPPLY ZEPPELINS DEPART FOR BEAR REPUBLIC
Two dozen Canissian Air Fleet Zeppelins, loaded with emergency relief supplies, departed for the Bear Republic today. In th eairships are medical personnel as well as food and other supplies, as well as two emergency generators to hook into local hospitals as needed.
Something about Libertarianism always bothered me. Then one day, I realized what it was:
Libertarian philosophy can be boiled down to the phrase, "Work Will Make You Free."


In Libertarianism, there is no Government, so the Bosses are free to exploit the Workers.
In Communism, there is no Government, so the Workers are free to exploit the Bosses.
So in Libertarianism, man exploits man, but in Communism, its the other way around!

If all you want to do is have some harmless, mindless fun, go H3RE INST3ADZ0RZ!!
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K. A. Pital
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Post by K. A. Pital »

RTS "Ivan Drago" immediate alert!
Image

Transmission

This is the air wing of RTS Ivan Drago. Su-27s are being readied...

- Belka closing in... we see it! God, look at the size of that thing!
- Strelka, fire on the tentacles. It seems to be gripping the ship.
- Lock on. I see it's body.
- Be careful. The ship!
Image
- I sure am. Now feel the pain, bitch!!!!

***
- We see the Canissian hydrofoils closing it fast!
- It's attacking them with tentacles!
- Shit, they're dropping death... depth charges! I repeat, depth charges dropped!

- Strelka, I'm positively sure the specimen's dead.
- Very well. Return, return!

Image

Channel 1 Urgent:

...positively dead! I repeat, it's dead!

And with these news, the Technocracy is sending relief ships into the Zone, accompanied by several Pr 1155.1 Destroyers with ASW Helicopters on pads. This will be fine to deal with the possible megafauna and protect the relief operation.

Citizens of the Red Technocracy watched it with awe. Reactions have been gathered by a blitz-phone poll:

I bake little squids, but this thing was so damn huge! - Anya, first-rate cook, "Eliseevsky" superstore.

That is shit from sci-fi movies, I tell you! - the leader of the Young Sci-Fi Fans club of the R.T.

It's clear that the megafauna are becoming agressive because we disturbed their habitat. We need to back down. But the lives of people are the supreme issue here, so we won't stay short from totally extinguishing that megafauna. - R.T.A.S. academic, professor Valivov, responding about the incident.
Lì ci sono chiese, macerie, moschee e questure, lì frontiere, prezzi inaccessibile e freddure
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Beowulf
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Post by Beowulf »

Forbidden City Times

The Peace Department has awarded a contract to Lockmart Corp. The contract is for a project known as RATTLRS. This is a 2 year development contract with the end goal of multiple successful test flights of Flight Demonstration Vehicles. This may lead to a production contract.

Lockmart also announced today that it had contracted out the development of a new 6.5m fairing for it's Delta IV Heavy+ design. This will allow much larger diameter payloads to be boosted into orbit. The Delta IV Heavy+ design comes in 4 variants. The smaller has the current 5m fairing, and can be used with either 4 or 6 CBC strap on boosters. The larger will be equipped with the new 6.5m fairing, and can be used with either 4 or 6 CBC strap on boosters. This design will eventually allow the lift of nearly 100 tons of cargo into LEO. The current Delta IV Heavy design allows the lift of 21,890 kg into LEO, 12,760 kg into GTO, and 6,280kg into GEO.

---

Today, the 1st Airlift Squadron lifted off to donate 1200 tons of emergency relief supplies to the Bear Republic. These supplies were augmented by volunteers from the 5th Mechanized Infantry Regiment
"preemptive killing of cops might not be such a bad idea from a personal saftey[sic] standpoint..." --Keevan Colton
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Zor
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Post by Zor »

In lieu of this attack by hostile marine megafauna (dubbed Kraken (Kraken Imperator) by the Ministry of Science's department of biology) upon a PeZookian, his Majesty's Government is issuing an order for re-armament of the merchent marine with the Type-321 Clusterfuck anti creature weapons. The system is composed of cluster of eight mounted grenade launchers mounted on the sides of the hull of the ship operated by remote control from the bridge, firing Concussion Grenades downwards onto the attacking creature. The system is low cost (estimated $75,000 per refit with six units) and should by sufficient to deture creatures should they attack.

Zor
HAIL ZOR! WE'LL BLOW UP THE OCEAN!
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Shroom Man 777
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Post by Shroom Man 777 »

The Sovereign Shroomanian Sentinel
PARLIAMENTARY PARTY

Image
Recent turbulent events have caused an uproar in the Shroomanian Parliament

The Shroomanian Parliament was in perhaps its most heated session ever today, as Ministers from all over the nation gathered for a special meeting.

"This is blasphemy!" the Fundietastics cried out as they began putting bags on their head. The Fundietastic Faction, along with its congregations, has officially declared the end to be nigh and has advised its members and the religious minority of Shroomania to prepare for the apocalypse. A move that the Paleopacifists deemed to be "Madness!"

Image
The Speaker of the Prime Minister made his own short address to the Parliament:

"This is Shroomania!"

Shortly before a Fundietastic MP kicked a Paleopacifist off the podium, causing the Parliament to degenerate into anarchy. The riot lasted five minutes before the disheveled, bruised and battered politicians of Shroomania seated themselves and began addressing the issues of the day.

A RetroRegressive bill allowing for the international sale of Shroomanian-made depth-charges, specifically designed to counter undersea monstrosities, has been passed and an ad campaign is scheduled to begin immediately. The RetroRegressive Party has encouraged civilians - people of all walks of life - to purchase their own depth-charges in case of the advent of a monster attack.

The Paleopacifists have also managed to allot more funds and resources to the humanitarian efforts in the Bear Republic. Aside from food, medicine, blankets, and light-weight shelters, the Paleopacifists were in a rarely-seen agreement with their RetroRegressive counterparts, both parties concurring that the Shroomanian Aid Packages to the Bear Republic would include mandatory flamethrowers.

There has been a unanimous voicing of concern that the neighboring nations of the Bear Republic might have been affected by the tsunami as the waves traversed across the inter-island seas and that the damages to these neighboring nations may have been ignored due to the media's attention being solely on the Bear Republic. Many fear that the Bear Republic 'ground-zero' may become a center point for the "all-out monster attack" to propagate from.

[Neighboring lands that have the possibility of being affected by the tsunamis include the Red Technocracy's north-eastern coasts, the east-side of New Patria, the Duchy of Langley, northern Blackadder - including Skull Island - amongst others]

A delegation has also been assigned to handle the welcoming party of the Red Technocracy's sailors in the "Admiral Ushakov", bound to stop briefly in Shroomania before proceeding onwards to its voyage to reconnoiter Terra Libertopia. Though the Red Technocracy vessel will not be receiving any military support from Shroomanian naval assets, Shroomanian MP's and the Prime Minister himself have applauded their Technocratic counterparts in doing something about "those goddamn Libertopians."

The issue of the Zorian spacelaunches was briefly touched on in the emergency session, with all parties expressing disappointment with Zoria for not abiding by international space agreements such as the JSEZ, despite the international community's assistance to Zoria in the Syndromian conflict.

Prime Minister Shroom the 777th was not present at the meeting, but was nonetheless attending from via tele-conference, presumably from somewhere safe. When the commotion died down in the Parliament, the Prime Minister was patched through via speaker phones and microphones and made the following address:

"All of us have witnessed something unnatural and unprecedented in the calamity that has befallen our friends in the Bear Republic. Malign lifeforms have risen up from the depths of the New World's oceans, striking in the wake of disaster, threatening the human populaces of not only the Bear Republic, but also the nations surrounding it.

"As a personal friend and ally of the leaders of the Bear Republic, and -



BREAKING NEWS!

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Mushroom Marines have engaged unidentified creatures in Pirate's Bay, Bear Republic. Large numbers of carnivorous amphibian predators have attacked refugee camps and humanitarian centers during the night!

Image
Fleeing refugees were defended by Mushroom Marine security detachments. The camps were in widespread panic as men, women and children, the sick and the injured fled for their lives - running for the hills!

Image
Shroomanian humanitarian workers tried to maintain order while escorting the injured away from the danger zone, while nearby Marines and Bear (Republic) Cavalry reinforcements do battle up-close and personal against uncountable barnacled beasts!

Image
Nonetheless, the situation is still far from under control!



MORE ON THE STORY AS IT DEVELOPS...
Image "DO YOU WORSHIP HOMOSEXUALS?" - Curtis Saxton (source)
shroom is a lovely boy and i wont hear a bad word against him - LUSY-CHAN!
Shit! Man, I didn't think of that! It took Shroom to properly interpret the screams of dying people :D - PeZook
Shroom, I read out the stuff you write about us. You are an endless supply of morale down here. :p - an OWS street medic
Pink Sugar Heart Attack!
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Lonestar
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Post by Lonestar »

Fort Worth Star-Telegram
The Lone Star Republic Navy announced a it was shifting the Palu Duro Strike group away from it's port-of-call in Mangka to rush north to the Western Coast of the Lonestar Republic, in response to numerous reports of what we can only assume is an OMSK Pact genetic engineering experiment gone horribly wrong. The State department informed other nations that any object that breaks the airspace and seawaters of the West Coast not bearing an MESS IFF beacon will be destroyed immediately.


Midland Reporter-Telegram
The Midland-Odessa are was shaken earlier today by two small earhquakes, believed to have been localized at the Midland Missile Ranges. The Midland Missile Ranges is to be the site for the FIRE project, and where the government is allegedly drilling a 300km "borehole". The earthquakes registered 4.2 and 4.4 on the scale respectively, and the Department of Justice had issued a court order to all universities and organizations with seismic readings to not release the raw data to the general public.
"The rifle itself has no moral stature, since it has no will of its own. Naturally, it may be used by evil men for evil purposes, but there are more good men than evil, and while the latter cannot be persuaded to the path of righteousness by propaganda, they can certainly be corrected by good men with rifles."
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Sea Skimmer
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Post by Sea Skimmer »

The Arab Socialist Ba'ath Empire of Saddamistan completely and utterly rejects the Zoria proposal for compensation. The only acceptable solution to this crisis is the granting of full and unrestricted access to all Zoria space launch and rocket development and testing facilities to a regiment of combat engineers from Saddamistan. Said engineers will destroy all facilities involved in work on rockets with a range greater then 250km and all rocket engines and support facilities which potential for use in space launch vehicles. Should Zoria fail to accept these terms, then it is warned that Saddamistan may be forced to employ harsher measures to ensure the security of its restricted airspace.
"This cult of special forces is as sensible as to form a Royal Corps of Tree Climbers and say that no soldier who does not wear its green hat with a bunch of oak leaves stuck in it should be expected to climb a tree"
— Field Marshal William Slim 1956
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Coyote
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Post by Coyote »

CANISSIAN AND RED TECHNOCRACY SUBMERSIBLES PROBE DEPTHS OF THE RIFT STRAIT
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The RSV Deepsearch scans the Strait.

RIFT STRAIT, CANISSIA-RED TECHNOCRACY MARINE BORDER
Submarine surveys of the Rift Strait, which had been underway for several months in preparation for the proposed bridge and tidal-generator project, took on a more urgent nature this week in the aftermath of a discovered zone of instability near the Bear Republic.

"So far, the fault lines seem to southwest-northeast through the Bear Republic's undersea shelf and southern landmass," said chief researcher Bern Gerhardt, of the Royal Canissian Oceonographic Research Administration. RCORA and Red Technocracy teams were searching for underwater anchor points to build the Great Bridge project when the undersea quake and tsunamis hit, followed by the emergence of deep-sea predators of a highly aggressive nature.

When asked about the danger posed by the megafauna dubbed Kraken Imperius, Dr. Gerhardt said that so far the Kraken had not appeared in their area of operations.

"It's a shame this happened," he said, "We were pretty much done with the survey and about to give our seal of approval for the building project to begin. Then we had to double-check, for faults and animal life."
Something about Libertarianism always bothered me. Then one day, I realized what it was:
Libertarian philosophy can be boiled down to the phrase, "Work Will Make You Free."


In Libertarianism, there is no Government, so the Bosses are free to exploit the Workers.
In Communism, there is no Government, so the Workers are free to exploit the Bosses.
So in Libertarianism, man exploits man, but in Communism, its the other way around!

If all you want to do is have some harmless, mindless fun, go H3RE INST3ADZ0RZ!!
Grrr! Fight my Brute, you pansy!
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Master_Baerne
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Post by Master_Baerne »

Baernish News Service
File BNS-20

One of the ACVs sent to Pirate's Bay was found, upon returning to port, to have been shredded above the waterline by an unknown force, presumably one of the Krakens discovered recently. The ship, which was deemed unsalvageable, has been broken up at a Forgeville yard. The steel will be used in the construction of a replacement ACV.
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The Baernish Ministry of Finance (MinFin), in a shamelessly commecial act, took the opportunity to point out that, had the ship not been an ACV, the crew would have surely been lost to the water that flooded many of the ship's compartments.
Conversion Table:

2000 Mockingbirds = 2 Kilomockingbirds
Basic Unit of Laryngitis = 1 Hoarsepower
453.6 Graham Crackers = 1 Pound Cake
1 Kilogram of Falling Figs - 1 Fig Newton
Time Between Slipping on a Banana Peel and Smacking the Pavement = 1 Bananosecond
Half of a Large Intestine = 1 Semicolon
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Zor
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Post by Zor »

His Majesty reluctently accepts the claim by Saddamistani (despite massive protests from the Zorian populace in all seven major cities against this action) and the Saddamistani proposal. The conquest project has been cancelled.

Zor
HAIL ZOR! WE'LL BLOW UP THE OCEAN!
Heros of Cybertron-HAB-Keeper of the Vicious pit of Allosauruses-King Leighton-I, United Kingdom of Zoria: SD.net World/Tsar Mikhail-I of the Red Tsardom: SD.net Kingdoms
WHEN ALL HELL BREAKS LOOSE ON EARTH, ALL EARTH BREAKS LOOSE ON HELL
Terran Sphere
The Art of Zor
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RogueIce
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Post by RogueIce »

The Shinra Republic Navy, in reaction the numerous reports of hostile marine creatures, dispatched a number of Gorgon-class frigates (6) into the waters around the affected area. The frigates, with their ASW helicopter complements and depth charge racks, will be on hand to assist any vessels in distress, and be available to offer convoy escorts to any incoming aid ships that request it. In addition, the small F-14D and A-6E complement about the SRS Zeus will be tasked with aerial reconnaissance of the area, and equipped with rocket pods to fire upon any attacking sea-life.

In other news, the Shinra Republic welcomes the Red Technocracy mission of peace and looks forward to the upcoming visit by a RT destroyer. Navy officials said plans were underway to discuss a joint RT/SR expedition around the coasts of Libertia, but no details have yet been confirmed.
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"How can I wait unknowing?
This is the price of war,
We rise with noble intentions,
And we risk all that is pure..." - Angela & Jeff van Dyck, Forever (Rome: Total War)

"On and on, through the years,
The war continues on..." - Angela & Jeff van Dyck, We Are All One (Medieval 2: Total War)
"Courage is not the absence of fear, but rather the judgment that something else is more important than fear." - Ambrose Redmoon
"You either die a hero, or you live long enough to see yourself become the villain." - Harvey Dent, The Dark Knight
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Sea Skimmer
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Post by Sea Skimmer »

Saddamistan is pleased to see that Zoria has accepted the path of reason, and notes that should Zoria prove trustworthy and not violate the current agreement then in the future its terms may be relaxed. In the interim, the first An-22 transport carrying elements of the 70th Demolition Company has already departed New Basra airport and should land in Zoria within 10 hours. Zoria will provide expedited helicopter transports for the company to all rocket launch pad for immediate disablement, pending the arrival of heavier demolition equipment and the compete 3rd Ur Combat Engineer Regiment. The use of 281 tons of HMX explosive is projected during the demolition phase, covering approximately 3 weeks. All Saddamistan forces will withdrawal from Zoria within 72 hours of the international certification of total destruction of Zoria space launch capability.
"This cult of special forces is as sensible as to form a Royal Corps of Tree Climbers and say that no soldier who does not wear its green hat with a bunch of oak leaves stuck in it should be expected to climb a tree"
— Field Marshal William Slim 1956
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Coyote
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Post by Coyote »

DRAMATIC PHOTOS OF KRAKEN ATTACK RELEASED
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PEARL POINT, ROYAL CANISSIAN NAVAL BASE
The Ministry of War has released dramatic photos of an unnamed Canissian sailor being devoured by a deadly Kraken that attacked 2nd Hydrofoil Squadron just a few days ago.

After notification of the family, the MoD, with approval from the sailor's family, approved release of the dramatic and shocking photo, taken by automated security camera on the forecastle of the ship.
"If showing the world that this is real can help save just one life, it is worth it," the sailor's mother, on condition of anonymity, said.



CANISSIAN AERO-RESCUE ZEPPELINS CONTINUE TO PROVIDE RELIEF, SUPPORT FOR BELEAGUERED BEAR REPUBLIC
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Royal Canissian relief forces, a mixture of military and specially-trained disaster-relief civilians, continue their task of providing relief and sustenance for Bear Republic refugees.

"It's tough to see people who are refugees withing their own country," said disaster-relief volunteer Julianna Stubbs. "It's not as if there's some government that can be held accountable; they were just caught in the wrong place at the wrong time by the forces of nature."

Relief operations will continue until they are no longer needed. Meanwhile, the disaster relief effort has focused on the serious lack of Hospital Ships in the Royal Canissian Navy. Reached by cell phone, King Arik Coyotus-I said that this was an oversight that was easily set aside due to the reliance on zeppelins for such duties, as they are being used now.

"I'm not sure how Hospital Ships could have helped, to be honest," the King said, "Considering that disaster relief is needed inland as well, and between the tsunamis and Kraken, they would actually be quite vulnerable."

King Coyotus-I did say that he would see to the development and purches of the Africa-class Hospital Ships that certain members of the MESS alliance were considering.
"I'd also like to see a sort of international hospital fleet that could deploy anywhere at any time, in rapid fashion," the King said by phone, "Sort of like Marines, but with doctors, nurses, disease-control specialists, tents, infrastructure repair people, stuff like that."

It was one of many topics that His Majesty said he'd bring up at the proposed MESS-OMSK/FA summit.
Something about Libertarianism always bothered me. Then one day, I realized what it was:
Libertarian philosophy can be boiled down to the phrase, "Work Will Make You Free."


In Libertarianism, there is no Government, so the Bosses are free to exploit the Workers.
In Communism, there is no Government, so the Workers are free to exploit the Bosses.
So in Libertarianism, man exploits man, but in Communism, its the other way around!

If all you want to do is have some harmless, mindless fun, go H3RE INST3ADZ0RZ!!
Grrr! Fight my Brute, you pansy!
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MKSheppard
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Post by MKSheppard »

Shepnukistan DoD Press Release #5

Two Heavy Aerial Refuelling Squadrons will be making a good-will stopover in Zoria for an airshow. The kids of Zor will be shown the insides of the tankers; and all sorts of neet stuff.
"If scientists and inventors who develop disease cures and useful technologies don't get lifetime royalties, I'd like to know what fucking rationale you have for some guy getting lifetime royalties for writing an episode of Full House." - Mike Wong

"The present air situation in the Pacific is entirely the result of fighting a fifth rate air power." - U.S. Navy Memo - 24 July 1944
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