[Macross]Yet another I need advice with a coworker thread

[TimothyC]

Macross - Attention deficit disorder, social anxiety disorder and chronic depression While I only have 2 of those (ADD and Depression), I can tell you that you sir, are a fucking (or rather not-fucking) moron. You know part of why I'm a nut case? Because I was in a relationship that ended badly. You can't let that slow you down though - I have and I'm regretting the hell out of it, but I'm getting better. Yes I've only ever had 3 relationships and one of those was early highschool and doesn't really count, but I can tell you that every single girl I've ever asked out I didn't think I had a chance in hell with.

Hell I've got a pseudo-date scheduled for July 5th (when we will be in the same town for the first time ever). She knows that I find her personality very attractive, and the fact that she can tolerate me in the first place tells me to not screw this up, but you have to do one thing - you have to try, and by try I mean ASK THE PERSON OUT - anything else is just Bullshit.

[Darth Wong]

I saw Macross' latest post and was intending to post a snarky response to it, and then I realized that it was rhetorically impossible for me to say anything that would do a better job of making him look like the whiniest attention whore on the planet. His own words do that perfectly.

You could summarize his entire post with the line "You're just a hater, and I won't let you bring me down", but the condensed version would lose much of its impact.

Even if I decided to pretend to be a pitiful self-absorbed perma-loser, I don't think I could compose such a perfectly worded loser speech. You can feel his desperate need to justify himself just oozing from the screen when you read it. It's either the most pathetic thing I've read in ages, or the most brilliant. If anyone ever wants to write fan fiction involving a hopelessly neurotic character desperately trying to convince himself that his self-made problems are everyone else's fault, he should keep a copy of Macross' tear-stained posts as a writers' guide.

[The Spartan]

*sigh*

Has she rejected you yet?

Or did you grow a clue, give up on her and move on?

If the answer to those questions is "No" then, you're doing it wrong.

But then, I already know the answer because otherwise you'd be posting about it instead of whining about how someone who's gone through exactly what you're putting yourself through couldn't possible understand what it's like to be where you are right now.

That sound you hear is me, washing my hands of you. I've got a date Saturday at the ballpark with a beautiful and intelligent woman who's just great and I'm not going to have my mind cluttered with your bullshit.

[Morilore]

Oh look, he's projecting.

A lot.

Self,
You are really sorry you couldn't keep this pathetic failure of a life to yourself.

You know why you showed these whiny messages to everyone, to rally the support behind you, to get the forum to unite with you so that you would feel loved.

They cannot give you what you need, they cannot love you.

You know why you were drawn to this board, for the very same reason that others were. The pursuit of logic, reason, and rational thought, you know why this is appealing. You thought you could learn how to overcome your disability, you could learn to think logically and rationally and be like everyone else. But all you learned was despair.

You need your own love to validate yourself, to convince yourself that you have conquered your loser-fail-life. It is how you measure your success. You don’t win arguments through logic and reason, you win them through sheer narcissism. Most of your opponents give up out of frustration; they grow bored with you because there is nothing concerning the real world in your posts. You take that contempt and redirect it back at them and when they attack and curse you, it gives you a false sense of moral superiority. You believe you won the debate by staying above the fray but you only drove them away and the only thing you feel is narcissism.

- snip, irrelevant -

You convince yourself not by comparing arguments, its by how construct your posts, it’s through the power of your blindness, not your logic.

When they your original post, they saw a sympathetic figure, an easy problem that everyone faces. You were not influenced by anything that they said, you were bothered by how they didn't line up with your fantasy world. You were bothered that they did not kiss your ass, that they did not love you and this completely baffled you.

The more they learned about you the more they felt disgusted by you. When one of them decided to reach out one last time in private, you condescended at them. He thought you deserved one last chance, so when you didn't turn sensible, he sent another one and when you did not respond fast enough, he went public. You read his message this morning and it really disturbed you. You spent all day crying about how he doesn't understand you and how to keep your high-and-mighty throne, but now he sees that his worst suspicions were true.

In a way you have done yourself a favor, now everyone can see your secret. Now you can no longer hide and pretend to be something that you are not.

You realize that they had the same problems that you have.

You notice the puzzle pieces, but you can’t put the pieces together into any meaningful picture. You say that your disabilities do not define you; they've completely taken over your life. They believe that you have suspected that this was true for a very long time now. Maybe all you needed was someone to acknowledge it. It’s your greatest fear, that’s why you can never admit that you are wrong about anything, even when it’s obvious. To admit that you are wrong about anything only opens the possibility that you could be wrong about yourself.

You look at them and you see that they were able to overcome their problems and are living normal lives. That’s why you try to ignore them and their words; you try to pass them off like they don't understand you. But you wish it had been you who had accomplished these things, when you know deep down you have not accomplished anything.

Every last word they use to describe you is exactly how you would have described yourself. That’s why you had to ignore them to pretend they didn't understand you, something that is easy to assume. You're not really contemptible of them at all, you really hate yourself. That is why you are so persistent in your arrogance and narcissistic dismissal, so you can prove to yourself that you are not living a lie.

They are not going to stop berating you because they know they already are the person you want to be, the person you think you are now. But first you have to accept that you are a screwed up loser. You can not learn to overcome it if you deny that it is a problem. You have to accept that you had the ability to live a normal life. It does not make you weak.

You have none of the skills needed to live a normal life, and your judgment and instincts are being clouded by your narcissism. You need to face yourself; you need to understand that this is entirely your fault. You need to abandon everything you thought you knew about yourself and start over. This is not going to be easy, but it can be done. Editor's note: I'm not holding my breath.

Maybe if you do that people will give you the support and encouragement you need.

[The Duchess of Zeon]

SirNitram,
I am really sorry that you could not keep this private between us.

I know why you showed these private messages to everyone, to rally the support behind you, to get the forum to unite against me so that I would hate you.

I can not give you what you need, I can not hate you.

I see why you are drawn to this board, for the very same reason that I was. The pursuit of logic, reason, and rational thought, I see why this would be appealing to you. You thought you could learn how to overcome your disability, you could learn to think logically and rationally and be like everyone else. But all you learned was hate.

You need my hate to validate yourself, to convince yourself that you have conquered your Aspergers syndrome. It is how you measure your success. You don’t win arguments through logic and reason, you win them through hate. Most of your opponents give up out of frustration; they grow angry at you because there is no logic or reason behind your arguments. You take that hate and redirect it back at them and when they leave or give in, it gives you a false sense of victory. You believe you won the debate through logic and reason but you only drove them away and the only thing you feel is the hate.

You have been around here for a very long time, since the very beginning, so it’s easy to see how everyone else missed this. They all have grown accustomed to you and your behavior and you are an established presence. That’s why most people here are quick to side with your point of view without question or hesitation, even though they may not understand your point of view.

People agree with you not by what you say, its by how you say it, it’s through the power of your conviction, not your logic.

When you saw my original post, you saw an easy victory for yourself, an easy way to validate yourself. You were not bothered by anything that I said, you were bothered by how easily I dismissed you. You were bothered that I did not get angry with you, that I did not fight you and this completely baffled you.

The more you learned about me the more you had to provoke me. When you knew I wasn’t going to play your game anymore, you tried to provoke me again this time in private. I thought you were trying to reach out, so when I didn’t bite that time, you sent another one and when I did not respond fast enough, you went public. I read your message this morning and it really disturbed me. I spent all day trying to understand you and how to respond in an appropriate manner, but now I see that my worst suspicions were true.

In a way you have done yourself a favor, now everyone can see your secret. Now you can no longer hide and pretend to be something that you are not.

Yes, I have social anxiety disorder and attention deficit disorder, but these only limit my cognitive abilities. I have trouble understanding why A + B = C. You admitted you have severe Asperger syndrome, this disrupts your cognitive abilities. You have trouble understanding how A + B = C.

You notice the puzzle pieces, but you can’t put the pieces together into any meaningful picture. You say that Aspergers does not define you; it’s completely taken over your life. I believe that you have suspected that this was true for a very long time now. Maybe all you needed was someone to acknowledge it. It’s your greatest fear, that’s why you can never admit that you are wrong about anything, even when it’s obvious. To admit that you are wrong about anything only opens the possibility that you could be wrong about yourself.

You look at me and you see that I was able to overcome my problems and I am trying to build a normal life. That’s why you try to belittle me and my achievement; you try to pass it off like it wasn’t anything special. But you wish it had been you who had accomplished these things, when you know deep down you have not accomplished anything.

Every last word you used to describe me is exactly how I would have described you. That’s why you had to twist me and distort me into a reflection of yourself, something that is easy for everyone to hate. You don’t really hate me at all, you really hate yourself. That is why you are so desperate for me to hate you, to prove to yourself that you have not been living a lie.

I am not going to do that because I know you can become the person you want to be, the person you think you are now. But first you have to accept that Aspergers is a part of who you are. You can not learn to live with it if you deny that it is a problem. You have to accept that you will not ever be able to live a completely normal life. It does not make you weak.

I see that you have already developed many of the skills needed to live a normal life, but your judgment and instincts are being clouded by your hate. You need to forgive yourself; you need to understand that this is not your fault. You need to abandon everything you thought you knew about yourself and start over. This is not going to be easy, but it can be done.

Now everyone knows and they will give you support and encouragement that you need.

You know, you have just insulted my wonderful and solid friend who has a beautiful wife. I'd tell you to go fuck off and die, you worthless dickwad, but you've just told yourself that in this post, which is even funnier.

[SirNitram]

Duchess, I'm so touched I have to stop the mockery for a moment.

....Moment's up.

[Colonel Olrik]

HEY MACROSS

I was the first to make fun of you, right in the first page in the first posts. SirNitram only made his first comments in the third page. Why did you have to focus on him and didn't analyze me?? I'm feeling left aside and missing the love.

By the way, so far I've been with a couple women from your own USA. You're missing a treat, both of them told me to fuck them up the ass only after a few dates. It's the same with Canadians. It takes longer for Europeans to loosen up, although the blow jobs are just fine, and from my limited experience with Mexicans you can forget it, it's vaginal all the way. Which is also great, don't get me wrong.

I really hope this information helps you.

[LadyTevar]

HEY MACROSS

I was the first to make fun of you, right in the first page in the first posts. SirNitram only made his first comments in the third page. Why did you have to focus on him and didn't analyze me?? I'm feeling left aside and missing the love.

That's because you don't have an easily mocked mental defect that Macross can latch onto and turn into a massive Disability to prove how he's better than you.

In short... he thought Nitram was the easier target.

[Einhander Sn0m4n]

In short... he thought Nitram was the easier target.

Now this thread looks really ripe for stuffing and mounting in the Trophy Ro- uh, Parting Shots.

[SirNitram]

Macross has no pattern recignition. If he did, he'd have picked up on the fact I don't like being lectured by a no-nothing little punk. We will attempt to correct this flaw in his excessively arrogant little brain by aversion therapy. He hates me posting PMs. I will post PMs from him every time he lectures me. Either he learns, or people at least get a lauigh out of his continued Yoda-like bullshit.

It all revolves around me pointing out that I, unlike him, have a happy marriage, thus destroying his little arguments against me.

Showing me that you are married does not prove me wrong. I know for you it would seem like it would, but it does not. If you do not believe me go ask Darth Wong, he will tell you same thing.

I know its difficult to understand, thats why you need to get this under control, so you can understand.

Get what under control? The problems you have that you're projecting onto me?

Okay, smart guy: How can we have such a good marriage when I learned 'only hate'? I'd love to hear this answer. Come on, you snivelling worm. Step up to the plate.

Do you believe that if you change your love for your spouse will change as well?

Ed Note: No, you didn't miss one. He does this non-sequitor right to my face.

Are you going to ask stupid philosophical questions, or are you going to answer my question? You live in la-la land if you think a relationship sits in stasis, another sign that you simply have no experience socially. That you did not develop 'differently', you didn't develop. Now get to what you so vaguely alluded to and stop stalling.

You asked a question you know I can not answer. I find that encouraging, it means you have learned the skills you need. I have not seen how you interact with your spouse, I do not know how you define what a "good marriage" is, but I do see how you interact with others here, and how you interact with me. You are normally fueled by anger and hate, but not when you talk about your marriage, I see that it gives you strength and stability.

Asking philosophical questions is how I have grown and developed. Its time for you to start asking those same kind of questions about yourself.

Another lecture, boy? I learned nothing from you, because you offer nothing to the world at large. I am not 'fueled' by anger and rage; I simply enjoy mocking the stupid and arrogant, two markers you happily live up to. BTw. Every time you dare lecture me like you know something I don't, another exchange goes up in public.

It's called Behavioral Modification Therapy. Because you will not get away with lecturing adults in the real world. When you eventually get there.

Apparently there's something he can't name I need to 'get under control', and like most trolls, hallucinates that he and others are important enough to make me hate, not merely amusing diversions in my day.

Ah, the amusement. I'm sure we'll get another shocked and dismayed outburst, where he's so offended I took his private bullshit public.

[Flakin]

So, not to pile on, but I'd really like to know...

HAVE YOU ASKED HER OUT YET?

Or instead have you been too busy sitting in your darkened bedroom frothing spittle onto your monitor screen while Whitney Houston's "The Greatest Love of All" plays at full volume repeatedly in the background while horribly projecting your issues onto Nitram?

Just wondering.

Because seriously, if you haven't, then your best move is to both walk away from this thread and this girl, right now.

[Boeing 757]

Ah, the amusement. I'm sure we'll get another shocked and dismayed outburst, where he's so offended I took his private bullshit public.

The saddest part of his whole little skit is that he's not even approaching high school-level maturity in how he thinks. I used to act exactly like he does now, but that was back in middle school, for Pete's sake. This guy seriously seems delusional, and I'm not a mental health expert or anything, but I'm betting he has some form of psychosis.

The fact that he thinks he can lecture anyone at all when he doesn't even now who you are shows how detached and aloof he is. Seriously, if I had the oppurtunity to meet someone like this on the street who thought he could lecture me without any knowledge of me, I'd flatten his face in and I wouldn't think twice about it.

[Darth Wong]

Unfortunately, I can believe he might really be 31. I've known guys in their 30s who had not grown at all since they were teenagers, largely because they had never had a relationship.

I don't give a shit what all of those "you don't need a relationship" people say; it all stinks of bullshit to me. Having a job for 10 years helps you learn how to ... do your job. It might help you learn office politics. But there's really no guarantee whatsoever that you will learn anything about relationships from 10 years of experience not having one. That's why you have some of these guys who are 35 and have jobs but still don't know a single goddamned thing more about relationships than they knew when they were 18.

[Singular Intellect]

Unfortunately, I can believe he might really be 31. I've known guys in their 30s who had not grown at all since they were teenagers, largely because they had never had a relationship.

And to think I'm only three years away from that thirty mark.

Mind you, Macross's example still makes me look like a ladies man...

[The Yosemite Bear]

hey I've been in several failed relationships. At least I've tried. mind you my main problem is anger issues, social disorders, insanity, and the fact i've got ED...

[Dalton]

hey I've been in several failed relationships. At least I've tried. mind you my main problem is anger issues, social disorders, insanity, and the fact i've got ED...

TMI, man. Really.

[The Yosemite Bear]

sorry

I keep forgetting about shit like that...

[LadyTevar]

Ok... No one else is Horsemanizing. I think I'll give it a shot.

You asked a question you know I can not answer Because I have not and will never have a relationship with a woman. I find that encouraging, it means you have learned the skills you need to be the man I only wish I could be. I have not seen how you interact with your spouse but I'd love to be in your shoes, I do not know how you define what a "good marriage" is but I'm jealous and wish I was that lucky, but I do see how you interact with other trolls here, and how you interact with me although I really deserve it. You are normally fueled by anger and hate towards stupid whiny crybaby fucknuts, but not when you talk about your marriage, I see that it gives you strength and stability.

Asking philosophical questions is how I have grown and developed into the useless permavirgin I am. Its time for you to start asking those same kind of questions about yourself, so I don't feel so alone and stupid.

[Darth Wong]

I get the rather strong impression that he's read some of those "self-help" books that you can find in the "let's pretend your OK" section of the bookstore.

[Dendrobius]

Just adding to the general dogpile: HEY MACROSS, HAVE YOU ASKED HER YET?

Because you know, I just spent a most pleasant Friday evening with my new girlfriend. Knocked off work and went straight to her place where she cooked for me (I can't cook worth crap, but I can clean up good!). Played a game of Scrabble after dinner. Then had some sexy time happen.

I wonder if you'll ever experience anything like that? I wonder...

[18-Till-I-Die]

Reading this whole experience from the beginning brings back memories of my first girl. This may be difficult to believe, but i was not always the Herculean mangod, the Apollo-esque image of untammed manhood, that you all know and no doubt love deeply. Long ago, in the hinterlands of High School, i was not a mohagany god-among-men but merely a boy with bad skin, glases and an embarassingly intemate knowledge of Star Wars. But unlike my fellow losers, i managed to develop this thing called "courage".

There was this girl named Kyesha, who i had held a torch for over many months and so, on the eve of a party at my brother's girlfriend's house, i chose to ask her out. Now we were both teens at the time so i have to believe that she agreed because she knew there'd be drinks at the party, but that's neither here nor there, the point is i took the plunge and she said yes.

Now i admitedly was a mite hammered, so i don't recall everything perfectly but i do remember what led up to this first sexual encounter. We were sitting together and, maybe it was the Coors talking, i just said to her outright "You know, you're a very beautiful girl" (now for effect, imagine it slurred and with DMX playing in the background, to get the authentic feel). She seemed to be pleased by this and flicks her hair back and said to me "Oh thanks", in that long, drawn out, half-laughing way drunk people say it like thaaanks teehee, leaning on me as she says it. So suddenly i open up and we start talking about stuff and, lo and behold, we liked the same music and had an equal distaste for Pink (the singer, not the color). One thing led to another, i got fresh, she gets coquettish, and eventually i talked her into having sex with me in one of the bedrooms upstairs.


Now i wont take the low road and claim to have, quote, "wrecked that pussy". I don't recall it entirely, being sloshed at the time, but if my early sexual encounters are anything to go by it probably was a little over ten minutes. That being said she must have enjoyed it, cause we ended up in what has been, to date, my longest relationship--three years, or thereabouts. Though our relationship began as a drunken sexual encounter at a party i'm pleased to say it blossomed into something far more--while it took some time, i managed to teach her to love Rambo as much as i did, and she allowed me to finally overcome most of the many, many emotional hangups my father (abusive cunt that he is) left with me. Her father was more of a father to me than my own, he taught me to drive for Christ's sakes. I still can't parallel park though. I honestly can say that despite the, admitedly, undignified and no doubt LOL-worthy way our relationship began i was happier with Kyesha than perhaps i've ever been and despite the insubstantiality of High School romance, i believe i experienced love for the first time in my life then.

We eventually broke up, not because of a lack of love or any actual personal problems, but because she had to move to another city, another STATE in fact, and we both decided that "long distance relationships" were bullshit and it'd be less painful to pull the plug now and move on. I don't regret that, i think it was for the best--i didn't want what we had to become some weekly phonecall or a card at Christmas, and neither did she. We wanted to remember it the way it was, drunken first fuck on a friend's bed and all. Indeed, we still keep in touch.

Even now, in a current relationship of two years and counting, i think back on that relationship as one of the better choices in my life.

What i'm saying Macross is, you fucking blew it--you had your chance for happiness and sex and you didn't just drop the ball you threw it down and punted it out of the stadium, and i LOL at you.

[Mr. Coffee]

Just adding to the general dogpile: HEY MACROSS, HAVE YOU ASKED HER YET?

Oh course he won't fucking ask her. If he did that it would mean he's have to let his balls drop out of his pelvis, cowboy up, and stop being a whiny little attention whore/creep assholes stalker.

[Zablorg]

I don't give a shit what all of those "you don't need a relationship" people say; it all stinks of bullshit to me. Having a job for 10 years helps you learn how to ... do your job. It might help you learn office politics. But there's really no guarantee whatsoever that you will learn anything about relationships from 10 years of experience not having one. That's why you have some of these guys who are 35 and have jobs but still don't know a single goddamned thing more about relationships than they knew when they were 18.

It doesn't have to be a romantic or sexual relationship either. Being friends with lots of people can and will increase those social skills so crucial to pursuing a partner.

So thats one more thing we've learned about Macross today.

[Lord Pounder]

When I first saw this thread my advice would have been not to date someone you work with because when it gets rocky it's all drama dram drama. It seems you skipped the realtionship and went straight to the drama. What the fuck is wrong with you man. When you post do you listen to Linkin Park, do you smear your eyeliner as you cry? Remember when the time comes to go down the street and not across the avenue.

[Havok]

Remember when the time comes to go down the street and not across the avenue.

Ouch.

Mexicans you can forget it, it's vaginal all the way. Which is also great, don't get me wrong.

Shows what you know. You need to make some more trips over here man.