Your Best Haiku

Raoul Duke, Jr. · Post by **Raoul Duke, Jr.** » 2003-01-23 02:03pm

Okay, it's time to put on your Samurai Caps and come up with your best Haiku! For those of you who are unfamiliar with the form, I shall demonstrate:

First, five syllables
Then seven more syllables
Five more syllables

And that's it! Go at it!

Captain tycho · Post by **Captain tycho** » 2003-01-23 02:11pm

Persoanlly, I think haikus suck.

Limericks are the way to go boys.

Post by **Zaia** » 2003-01-23 02:12pm

He is so naughty
How he loves the pokey poke
Anal sex lives on

Guess who that one's for?

Raoul Duke, Jr. · Post by **Raoul Duke, Jr.** » 2003-01-23 02:14pm

Hmmmm... RayCav? Naaaah. lol

Okay, here's one:

A Great Mystery
At Dawn, too much alcohol
"Fuck! Where are my pants?!"

Post by **Zaia** » 2003-01-23 02:18pm

Captain tycho wrote:Persoanlly, I think haikus suck.
Limericks are the way to go boys.

Dude, you are so underestimating us. These are not just ANY haikus! They are SD.NET HAIKUS!!! And personally I think they're kicking some haiku ass right now.

Raoul: LOL Beeyoootiful.

Captain tycho · Post by **Captain tycho** » 2003-01-23 02:21pm

Zaia wrote:
Captain tycho wrote:Persoanlly, I think haikus suck.
Limericks are the way to go boys.
Dude, you are so underestimating us. These are not just ANY haikus! They are SD.NET HAIKUS!!! And personally I think they're kicking some haiku ass right now.

Raoul: LOL Beeyoootiful.

I said haikus suck, not sd.net haikus.
Judging by Raouls and yours, this might get interseting.

XaLEv · Post by **XaLEv** » 2003-01-23 02:28pm

I feel like doing one in Japanese, those more fluent than I feel free to critique

Kono miruku,
furui dearu ne?
Warui desu.

Translation:

This milk
is old, isn't it?
It's bad.

Positively zen-like.

TrailerParkJawa · Post by **TrailerParkJawa** » 2003-01-23 02:29pm

Anyone remember Quake Haiku. I had some good ones but Ive lost them over the years. I just did one real quick

Spot Camper Up High
Double Barrel Shotgun Blast
Gibs rain from above.

Seggybop · Post by **Seggybop** » 2003-01-23 02:29pm

I hate you so much
I'll rip your &#$@ing head off
Now, you are to die.

Raoul Duke, Jr. · Post by **Raoul Duke, Jr.** » 2003-01-23 02:30pm

Did you ever think
That one day you'd be reading
Utter crap like this?

Serious one:

The lover long gone
My dearest prosecutor
Is the verdict in?

And back to the weird shit:

Please don't make me think
Mom and Dad don't like that much
Fundamentalist

Raoul Duke, Jr. · Post by **Raoul Duke, Jr.** » 2003-01-23 02:33pm

Please do not try to
Pick up what you're sitting on
That makes God jealous

And a 21st Century Samurai attitude I highly recommend when dealing with women and the club scene:

I cut through the lies
Underbrush, these games you play
My heart is a blade

And...

Jesus Christ! God damn!
Motherfucker drank my beer!
That pisses me off!

You may have noticed by now...

I'm good at Haiku
I can bust these out all day
Fucking weird, ain't it?

TrailerParkJawa · Post by **TrailerParkJawa** » 2003-01-23 02:33pm

This one is not mine, but from the Quake Haiku website.

- Long silent hallway
- The water swirls somewhere near
- Alone, with one health

Raoul Duke, Jr. · Post by **Raoul Duke, Jr.** » 2003-01-23 02:37pm

TrailerParkJawa wrote:This one is not mine, but from the Quake Haiku website.

- Long silent hallway
- The water swirls somewhere near
- Alone, with one health

That will never do
That one was not yours, Jawa
Show us what you got

TrailerParkJawa · Post by **TrailerParkJawa** » 2003-01-23 02:55pm

Raoul Duke, Jr. wrote:
TrailerParkJawa wrote:This one is not mine, but from the Quake Haiku website.

- Long silent hallway
- The water swirls somewhere near
- Alone, with one health
That will never do
That one was not yours, Jawa
Show us what you got

One of mine is here
It lies in previous post
Jawa points above

Frank Hipper · Post by **Frank Hipper** » 2003-01-23 03:33pm

There's corn in my poop
I do not eat corn at all
B.M. mystery

Shinova · Post by **Shinova** » 2003-01-23 03:56pm

Life is a big lie
You are a contradiction
May Truth rest in peace

InnerBrat · Post by **InnerBrat** » 2003-01-23 04:11pm

Here's 2 I've written in the past:

Fifty pages turn at once
Then silence
As fifty hearts stop beating

I gave it away
before it could be stolen
I want it back twice

DPDarkPrimus · Post by **DPDarkPrimus** » 2003-01-23 05:16pm

Alright, it's translated from Japanese, so it doesn't fit the syllables... but here goes.

Leaf bug
On cherry blossom
Happy feelings

Sonnenburg · Post by **Sonnenburg** » 2003-01-23 06:08pm

I'm of the seventeen syllable school of hiaku (since even Basho didn't always stick to the 5-7-5 rule).

Rises the dark star
Its head is empty of all thought
Yet it won't shut up

"Scotty, beam us up"
Says the man with the toupee
His gut he sucks in.

and of course, my favorite of all time

Twilight is upon me
And soon night must fall
That is the way of things.

^^ · Post by ^^ » 2003-01-23 06:09pm

We can not make love
By the naked animals now
get my fucking beer

Admiral Valdemar · Post by **Admiral Valdemar** » 2003-01-23 06:15pm

The plane is all quiet
No parachutes
Feck

Tosho · Post by **Tosho** » 2003-01-23 06:36pm

A thunder clap!
The rain is falling softly,
all are at peace now.

Admiral Valdemar · Post by **Admiral Valdemar** » 2003-01-23 06:46pm

God's in His Heaven
All's right with the world
Angels

Singular Quartet · Post by **Singular Quartet** » 2003-01-23 07:05pm

Haikus are good.
Keep them up, so we may find
great joy in there life.

Haiku-easy
Little work is required
but I do not care

aerius · Post by **aerius** » 2003-01-23 07:46pm

First, a little background on how this haiku came about. We had a homophobic employee at my work once, and he thought he was going to get AIDS from sitting on a sweaty bike seat when he went to test ride the bike. He ended up putting a plastic baggie over the seat so he wouldn't get AIDS from a bike who's owner he thought was gay, and therefore had AIDS. What a dumbass shithead.

Homophobic schmuck
Thought the customer was gay
Plastic baggied seat

After this masterpiece was circulated around on the local bicycle message boards, the shithead was soon out of a job, lost his GF, and had a bunch of bad shit happen to him. He was also mocked endlessly, and that was cool.