[Macross]Yet another I need advice with a coworker thread

[Morilore]

You can't make this shit up. Real idiots are so much stupider than fictitious idiots.

[LadyTevar]

Very well, Macross ... gloves are off. White Mage has now become the Black. While the male Black Mages take this moment to run for the hills, let me explain briefly: Sir Nitram is -not- the one filled with venom and hate. That is saved for the Female of the Species.

Congratulations. It takes a lot to get me this mad.

So... you go to Mike thinking you can get Sir Nitram banned or sanctioned for all the horribly true things he's been saying to you? I'm actually hurt... See... Sir Nitram never even started on you until well after you proved yourself to be an obsessive little stalker with a inferiority complex. Why you focused on Nitram, I'm not sure. After all, he wasn't the one who first saw how fucked in the head you were and informed you of that fact.

I WAS.

Let's go back, shall we? Back to Page 1 of this pitiful attempt to make yourself look like a man.

Page 1.

Posted: Fri Apr 04, 2008 11:46 am
You had TWO YEARS to make a move. You didn't. So she moved on when you showed no interest. Sucks to be you. Give up, move on, don't be such a fuckin' idjit next time.

You did not respond to me after I gave you that bluntly obvious advice, just to Colonel Olrik, and later to Darth Wong when they put it much more politely.

Page 2.

Posted: Mon Apr 07, 2008 6:39 am
That is the biggest crock of sour grapes I've ever heard.
You had you chance, you let it slip away. YOU FUCKED UP. Don't try to whitewash your actions claiming 'you weren't ready'. That just screams perma-virgin, which you will be if you don't get you head outta your ass and try to actually get out and socialize like a normal person.

And again you do not reply to me, but posted your 'Waaah, I haz Disorders!' post, and then replied to Darth Wong when he told you 'Disorders? Too Bad, Get over it.'

So after reading your excuses, I make my point very clear:

Posted: Fri Apr 11, 2008 6:57 pm
Macross
Give it the fuck up. You are sounding more stalker-esque than ever.

NOW, you reply.

Ok, I know I sound over-eager, but this isn't something thats spontaneous or completely random. There is something between us, their is history between us, it may not seem like much, but its enough for me to at least give this a try. It is enough for me to know that I just cant walk away without ever knowing.

And you get promptly blasted for such an innanely idiotic answer by Sanchez and I.

For the last week and a half you've been wasting time in this fucking thread posting about how you need to try with this girl. Here's an idea - GO FUCKING TRY and stop wasting our time.

Over-eager? This is not over-eager, this is OBSESSIVE.
History? Yeah, you work together, and you've been obsessing over her for two years.
Something between you? Just your own obsessive ideas that you think you like her, and think that after all this time you can come in and sweep her off her feet romantically.
Guess what? You're an idiot. That boat sailed long ago, and the only thing you're doing is making it worse by whining and crying about it for over two weeks.
Now, either do something, or get out of this damn thread before I lock it for excessive stupidity.

And then you take the dip straight into the Twilight Zone... population: You.

Well, I see you have completely and utterly failed to understand me or why this is important. I am trying to prove to myself that I have changed, I have grown past my own limitations and I am no longer automatically bound to repeat the same mistakes that I have made in the past and you call this excessive stupidity?
And when I ask for guidance, you wont even give me an inch. You call me obsessive and an idiot because everything I have learned in life, everything I have experienced tells me there is still some small hope? Walking away is the easy thing to do and there was a time I would have walked away without hesitation, but to do so again would mean that I would have learned nothing.
Go ahead and lock this thread if you must, I will not allow your own bitterness to distract me at this critical time in my life.

Only after this point does SirNitram even join the thread and rightfully blast you to cinders for the 'Waah, no one understands me' bullshit. Up until this point, your main detractors have been myself, Darth Wong, and Sanchez.
So tell me, why is it SirNitram that you have focused all your pitiful attempts upon? Should it not be one of us? Or are you too frakkin' scared of women to have the balls to say anything to me? Don't worry, I have the ovaries to make my stance very clear. Or did you not notice I was the one that started the "Title Macross" discussion thread in the Senate?


So listen to me and listen good, you worthless waste of amniotic fluid. You may blame your lack of lovelife all you want on your Social Disorders and whatever other excuse you want to spit out of your mealy little mouth. What you are trying so hard to deny and hide is the fact that SirNitram, despite his disadvantages, managed to befriend, woo, and then marry a fairly lovely gamer girl like me. Hell, I'm even a natural redhead. Meanwhile, you have wasted two years of your sad sorry life sitting on your ass and mooning over a woman who never saw you as more than 'that guy the third cube down', and who only knew your name because it was on your office passcard. Yet, you dare to impinge his good name, simply because he told you the exact things you needed to hear, but refused to listen to from everyone else.

Now, jackass. Do you have anything you want to say, or will you pull your little coward's trick and attempt to PrivateMessage me. Because I can and will follow SirNitram and Darth Wong in posting it to the board so everyone can see what a little douchebag you are.


PS. One more thing.

DID YOU ASK HER OUT YET, YOU LITTLE SNIVELING COWARD, OR DID YOUR BALLS RETREAT INTO YOUR RIBCAGE AT THE MERE THOUGHT OF SPEAKING TO HER

[Havok]

Fuckin' A Tev!

Macross
Man... look. You are WRONG. From about your second or third post you have just been so utterly wrong. It has NOTHING to do with Nitram and his problems as Lady Tevar, HIS FUCKING WIFE, demonstrates.

If you actually are reading this, do me a favor. Try to reread this thread, and pretend that YOU didn't write anything in it.

[The Yosemite Bear]

damn Tevar, that was..... impressive!

oh, and for those who wonder The Female of the Species is more deadly then the male.

[CaptainChewbacca]

Fuckin' A Tev!

Macross
Man... look. You are WRONG. From about your second or third post you have just been so utterly wrong. It has NOTHING to do with Nitram and his problems as Lady Tevar, HIS FUCKING WIFE, demonstrates.

She's his loving wife, too. *rimshot*

[Big Phil]

snip

He's probably afraid of you as you're a woman.

Why he ignores me and everyone else, responding only to Wong and Nitram, however, I can't quite understand. It's somewhat insulting, as I was rather proud of my flame. I'm actually jealous of Nitram, being able to get Macross to respond to him directly

[J]

Why he ignores me and everyone else, responding only to Wong and Nitram, however, I can't quite understand. It's somewhat insulting, as I was rather proud of my flame.

I feel so left out, I flamed him too and I didn't get a reply either...

[Oni Koneko Damien]

Count me in on that. Like I said, it's the whole obsessive-compulsive thing. He can only concentrate on Nitram, he's scared shitless of Tevar and her genitalia, and he's delusional to the point that he thinks he's illuminating Mr. Wong on deep-dark secrets of someone he's known for years.

[Enigma]

He's so far gone it isn't even funny anymore. He dares to attack Nitram behind his back and thinks he'd succeed? He's a lost cause and right now only serves and the board's punching bag.

[The Duchess of Zeon]

He's so far gone it isn't even funny anymore. He dares to attack Nitram behind his back and thinks he'd succeed? He's a lost cause and right now only serves and the board's punching bag.

Yeah, I wish he would get banned with extreme prejudice, but that is not for me to decide on.

[Enigma]

He's so far gone it isn't even funny anymore. He dares to attack Nitram behind his back and thinks he'd succeed? He's a lost cause and right now only serves and the board's punching bag.

Yeah, I wish he would get banned with extreme prejudice, but that is not for me to decide on.

I wanted to say that too but I have even less authority to say it than you do.

The best for him to do is slink away and stay away for a long time and when he's ready to return for him to be prepared for a lot of posters to ask him if he asked her out yet. I think that pic of Timothy Jones would fit Macross really well.

[ANGELUS]

I feel so left out

Why he ignores me and everyone else

Count me in on that

Yeah... me too... He doesn't even pay attention to our posts, he picked Nitram as his escape goat, but only made an even bigger fool out of himself...


Oh... and by the way Lady Tevar, remind me never to get on your bad side, you demolished this guy with that last post

[SirNitram]

No fun anymore. He just snipped out my replies when I ask him if he asked her out. And claimed to 'concde' spontaneously after Mike smacked him down. Either ban or stalker-based title.

[The Duchess of Zeon]

Hey Macross, since you'll never get a girl in your entire life, considered one of these dolls?

[Zablorg]

Gary Larson once made a panel about Macross.

MAN, IN BED: Should I ask her out? Maybe I should. But maybe she doesn't know I exist. But maybe she does... I think I'll ask her out. But what if she doesn't even know I exist? Damn!

WOMAN, IN BED: You know, I think I really like vanilla.

[Edi]

This thread seems to have outlived its usefulness. I won't lock it yet, but peanut gallery commentary ends now. If it does not, the thread dies.

[The Yosemite Bear]

He's so far gone it isn't even funny anymore. He dares to attack Nitram behind his back and thinks he'd succeed? He's a lost cause and right now only serves and the board's punching bag.

Yeah, I wish he would get banned with extreme prejudice, but that is not for me to decide on.

I wanted to say that too but I have even less authority to say it than you do.

The best for him to do is slink away and stay away for a long time and when he's ready to return for him to be prepared for a lot of posters to ask him if he asked her out yet. I think that pic of Timothy Jones would fit Macross really well.

Hell I've said as much too.

mind you, I would prefer a pic of Ray Cav.

[Edi]

He's still completely fucking delusional, but at least he did not start screaming at me. We'll see if he does after the next PM.

EDIT: This post was split from a mod forum topic and merged here for the sake of completeness.

I suppose you're sick and tired of hearing the things people have been saying in the thread that got you into the HoS and earned you a Senate hearing, but I would like to try to talk about a few points privately. Perhaps something positive will come of that, but it is entirely up to you what you make of this.

I have got the same impression as most people from that thread, so my advice is still going to be much the same. I remember what it was like when I was clueless and afraid to talk to girls. The only thing that will allow you to overcome that is just straightening your spine and talking to them. You will get rejected more often than not (happens to almost every man), but that in itself does not mean much. You won't overcome the nervousness and anxiety if you refuse to confront it and try. You have the handicaps you've talked about working against you, but that just means that you will have to work harder than an unimpaired person would. Don't try to use the handicaps as a crutch or an excuse. That way lies ruin.

You said in the thread that you have learned what you have learned from relationships from philosophical questioning and that you can't afford to be wrong about this girl you have been talking about. Here is how it is: You ARE wrong about it. The only way to learn about relationships, to really learn, is to be in one, to experience it. Doesn't mean that knowing things you learned from others is useless, but personal experience is required to really know what you are talking about. As far not affording to be wrong, that's just desperation.

You cannot tie yourself to the notion that you can't be wrong because you want to be right. If you're wrong, it's time to let go and go looking for something and someone else. There is nothing more to it. One of the ways people learn about relationships and dealing with them is getting rejected and their heart broken, having someone else snatch the girl or guy they've a crush on and getting their heart broken and then picking up the pieces, putting them back together and moving on. Lashing out at the people who are giving you advice is being an ingrate. Telling them they are wrong when they have had actual relationship experience and successful relationships and you have not is the height of arrogance.

I don't know what you were expecting when you posted that thread. I can only guess that you wanted the people on SDnet to confirm what you wanted to be true and that it was like being slapped across the face when they told you the exact opposite. I know I've asked advice from friends of mine sometimes and I've had a very good idea of what I have wanted to hear them say. At the same time, I have always been prepared to listen to advice that was not necessarily what I wanted to hear. That can be hard, but it's no excuse.

Finally, you may or may not have seen already that your PM to DW was posted in the HoS thread. I read through it and the only thing I can say about it is that all of the things you accuse people of in there are baseless. The reason they are being so harsh on you is because they got fed up with your responses and the way you ignored the substance of what they were saying, so they think they might as well flame you.

My recommendation to you is that you go back to the thread, read the responses from The Spartan and Boeing (that one's on page 9) and a few of the others who related their own experiences with the various mental handicaps and conditions they had. Take that advice, don't ignore it, because it's good advice.

That's all I have to say. The rest is up to you.

I thank you for your advice. I suppose the simplest way to describe what happened was a communication problem. Its not that I didn’t appreciate the relationship advice, it was good advice, it’s just that I was looking for advice on this specific situation, and it’s a complicated situation.

They were telling me, “Give up, it’s too late, there is no hope.” and I’m trying to say “But you don’t understand, there is hope, that’s why I need advice.” When I try to explain why I believe there is hope, things got ugly and people started calling me delusional or lying to myself.

I know I am inexperienced when it comes to relationships, but I do know what it is like to grow close to someone and then lose that someone. That’s all I was trying to say about past experiences.
They made it sound like I was a blank slate, someone who was completely unfamiliar with how to interact with people and lacked any social skills at all.

While everyone else was growing up and socializing, I was observing, learning to pick up on subtleties and nuances in human behavior. I have spent years trying to understand why I was the way was and why people act and behave the way they do. Its nothing more then a skill I have spent years developing and refining. Its very frustrating that they can easily dismiss the one skill I am good at just because I am inexperienced when it comes to relationships and that’s why I lashed out.

That’s also why I was confused in the first place. If my coworker was in a happy relationship, then it should have been something that I would have noticed. Instead, I noticed that she was interested in me, then she was no longer interested in me, and now she is really really unhappy.

The truth is, I was uninterested in a relationship for a very long time. I needed the time to put myself back together. I had trained myself to avoid things like socializing, so I needed to discover that socializing was no longer difficult for me. I have been pushing myself to try things that I always had difficulty doing before or simply could not do before.

I actually found the advice I needed in that thread and I thought we were making some real progress, and then it got sent to HOS. It just really bothered me that no one seemed interested in trying to sort the mess out.

I replied to that with

I thank you for your advice. I suppose the simplest way to describe what happened was a communication problem. Its not that I didn’t appreciate the relationship advice, it was good advice, it’s just that I was looking for advice on this specific situation, and it’s a complicated situation.

I've seen situations like that and been in them (just not at the workplace, but otherwise. Nothing complicated to it.

They were telling me, “Give up, it’s too late, there is no hope.” and I’m trying to say “But you don’t understand, there is hope, that’s why I need advice.” When I try to explain why I believe there is hope, things got ugly and people started calling me delusional or lying to myself.

I happen to disagree with your assessment. If the girl indeed moved in with someone, you're out in the cold. You have so far told nobody anything that would make the assessment that you have hope of getting into a relationship with her a reasonable one.

I know I am inexperienced when it comes to relationships, but I do know what it is like to grow close to someone and then lose that someone. That’s all I was trying to say about past experiences.

You did not say it very well at all. And losing a friend is very different from relationship things, which is what we're talking about here. And if you're referring to someone else snatching a girl you fancied from under your nose in the past, see my previous PM.

They made it sound like I was a blank slate, someone who was completely unfamiliar with how to interact with people and lacked any social skills at all.

Sorry to be blunt, but with regard to romantic relationships, you are a blank slate. Other interaction skills will help you, but you will only gain relationship skills through actual experience. There is a definite reason why most people's first couple of relationships fail and that's because they need experience to avoid mistakes and they only get it by making those mistakes (not always, but for most).

While everyone else was growing up and socializing, I was observing, learning to pick up on subtleties and nuances in human behavior. I have spent years trying to understand why I was the way was and why people act and behave the way they do. Its nothing more then a skill I have spent years developing and refining. Its very frustrating that they can easily dismiss the one skill I am good at just because I am inexperienced when it comes to relationships and that’s why I lashed out.

Your own analysis of your skill in reading people is quite frankly worthless. There have been extensive studies into that field and all of those studies have concluded that people are absolutely crap at reading other people most of the time. Obviously if you know someone very well (such as I know my parents and people I've been friends with for 20 years) it's easy, but if you don't, you're shooting in the dark. It's especially bad for men trying to read women, because we just don't get the signals right. We interpret friendly gestures as romantic/sexual interest and vice versa the majority of the time unless the gestures are blatantly obvious.

Forget the idea that you can read people like a book. If there really is something that you intend to act on, you need to talk about it to get an actual real picture of the situation.

That’s also why I was confused in the first place. If my coworker was in a happy relationship, then it should have been something that I would have noticed.

You assume you would have noticed. I'm no slouch at reading people and I would never imagine making such an arrogant presumption about my skills. Because it is arrogant. You never allow for the possibility that you may be wrong in your assumption or your assessment of your skills.

Instead, I noticed that she was interested in me, then she was no longer interested in me, and now she is really really unhappy.

Romantically/sexually interested or just showing the normal interest one would have for a friend? You have no way of telling for certain and with a complete lack of relationship experience, you are not qualified to make that assessment! As far as her being unhappy, could be there's a problem with the house or with any other things, it does not necessarily mean she is single and lonely. You are again assuming things you have no place at all assuming. The only way to get anywhere is to talk to her. See a pattern here?

The truth is, I was uninterested in a relationship for a very long time. I needed the time to put myself back together. I had trained myself to avoid things like socializing, so I needed to discover that socializing was no longer difficult for me. I have been pushing myself to try things that I always had difficulty doing before or simply could not do before.

Then you need to unlearn those habits, so talk to Boeing and The Spartan if they're willing to help you. Though I'm not sure if The Spartan will anymore. You really pissed him off.

I actually found the advice I needed in that thread and I thought we were making some real progress, and then it got sent to HOS.

It was, you were getting advice. You just have refused to act on it. You have then made excuses for not acting on it and every time you did, you sounded increasingly more shrill and petulant, which led to people flaming you to a cinder. There's more good stuff in the thread later from Boeing and a few others (we seem to have a disproportionate number of people with various handicaps here at SDN).

It just really bothered me that no one seemed interested in trying to sort the mess out.

Wrong. Everyone was falling all over themselves to give you advice, but you ignored it all and insisted that their experience was no match for your own self-assessed skills of observation and no experience and when that happened a couple of times, they just said "Fuck this, here's the flamethrower!" You should pay special attention to the advice from the females in the thread, because they have direct experience in how women think, something no man can truly emulate.

You really need to pick yourself up by the scruff of your neck, kick your own ass and get cracking instead of staying trapped in an eternal analysis loop which is not going to get anything done. You have two choices: Either act on the advice you have received or keep going as you have. The only way forward is the first option. You've exhausted practically everyone's patience. Mine included, but I thought a neutrally expressed viewpoint could be helpful. I've had my own share of demons and they didn't go anywhere until I confronted them and kicked their ass. It's time for you to stop running away and hiding and do the same.

If I get anymore sniveling in response, it's going to go into the public thread along with a hearty fuck you to that useless emo shitbrain.

[The Duchess of Zeon]

And the latest hilarious claims from Macross in PM:

Why the hell are you going on about Martin like that? It's completely insane, with no evidence behind it whatsoever. What, precisely, made you think that was an intelligent idea?

And why are you ignoring our advice, really? You know it's goddamned well true; we started posting before Martin came to that thread, and we're not idiots. I've been through more shit than you can dream about in your life, and let me assure you, I look at you, and find nothing bad--only pathetic. So what are you going to do about it?

SirNitram wrote:
Consider this a chance. You're getting one more than I usually give anyone. Consider that a long time before you blow me off, or accuse, or dare lecture me again.

What is the cause of your stunted social growth?

Here. I'll make it easy. I'll go first. Asperger's, severe.

And never lecture me again.

Yes, he just quoted Martin.

And again:

That is an insufficient non-response that completely dodges my question. His comment was perfectly reasonable, a beautiful statement of honesty from a successful, happily married man who has never been anything but a loyal and kind friend. What IS the cause of your stunted social growth?

And again:

SirNitram wrote:

Macross wrote:
Attention deficit disorder, social anxiety disorder and chronic depression, only properly diagnosed in my mid-20s.

My school had five with that combination, one with that and more. They developed better than you. I'm not shedding tears.

Quote:
I admire you for telling me this, now we understand one another. Sometimes knowing that little extra detail can make all the difference in the world, especially when it is hidden from plain sight, that’s the point I was trying to make. You carry your own extra detail, something that defines who you are, something that very few people can understand, but it also gives you insight, that’s why you understood what I was saying.

My Aspergers does not define me. I am not weak. And while I comprehend a little more, it merely makes me contemptuous. What you have is not beyond being overcome. Yet you let it rule your life. You also present all the classic signs of a stalker with what you presented.

This wasn't an apology. This was me demanding you answer a question you ignored.

Yep, he just quotes the conversation again.

So, again:

That isn't an answer.

Answer the question.

What is the cause of your social dysfunction?

Martin's disorder doesn't cause any significant social dysfunction for him. That's proved by his life. Why are you claiming it does? And why are you refusing to answer the question? Since it's obvious that there are people out there worse who get along just fine in society and have things like, oh, happy marriages with hot redheads, what's your extra special problem that keeps you from doing the same?


P.S. asked her out yet?

Now we get a real answer:

I am sorry for not directly answering you until now; it just seems that whatever I say in a private message these days gets posted in public.

First you need to understand something about me, I am an observer. I tend to notice details that other people miss, I look at what people say and what they don’t say and this can tell me a lot about a person.

In you first message, you called SirNitram by his real name, this was your way of telling me that you were close to him and his family and that you know him better then me. The way you came to his defense tells me that you consider him to be a member of your extended family and you believe that I have treated him unfairly and crossed a boundary of social decency.

Your second message, you read the first private message he sent to me, you focused on his good qualities. You said “His comment was perfectly reasonable, a beautiful statement of honesty from a successful, happily married man who has never been anything but a loyal and kind friend.” Everything in my experience with him tells me all of this true, but you missed an important detail, the underlying hostility and the anger of the message.

Then I sent you the second message he sent me. Again, you didn’t notice the underlying hostility of the message but now you also tuned out what I was saying. You asked what is the cause of my social dysfunction? Its already there in the message, you tuned me out so you didn’t pick up on it. Then you also asked me if I asked my coworker out.

This is basically what has been happening in the forums, people don’t pick up on SirNitrams problems and focus on what they like about him, and then they tune out whatever I say.

You don’t see the warning signs because you are close to him. This is a common theme among any mental health disorder.

You said “Martin's disorder doesn't cause any significant social dysfunction for him. That's proved by his life.”

Aspergers Syndrome is “social autism”.

Here is a list of symptoms.

Dislike any changes in routines.

Not pick up on social cues and lack inborn social skills, such as being able to read others' body language, start or maintain a conversation, and take turns talking.

Be unable to recognize subtle differences in speech tone, pitch, and accent that alter the meaning of others’ speech. Thus, your child may not understand a joke or may take a sarcastic comment literally. Likewise, his or her speech may be flat and difficult to understand because it lacks tone, pitch, and accent.

Appear to lack empathy.

Be preoccupied with only one or few interests, which he or she may be very knowledgeable about. Many children with Asperger's syndrome are overly interested in parts of a whole or in unusual activities, such as doing intricate jigsaw puzzles, designing houses, drawing highly detailed scenes, or astronomy.

Talk a lot, usually about a favorite subject. One-sided conversations are common. Internal thoughts are often verbalized.

I have noticed all of these symptoms in SirNitram, and he says “My Aspergers does not define me. I am not weak. And while I comprehend a little more, it merely makes me contemptuous.”

I have not insulted him or mocked him or called him names. I don’t think he is a terrible person, or weak. He wants everyone to believe that his Aspergers is not a problem, but he knows its is problem and I know it is a problem. But I can see that it is also holding him back, that is why I have been trying to help him to understand how it is effecting his life, and I was starting to get through to him.

He is afraid to seek help because he fears he will lose what he already has, when all I was trying to tell him was that everything would be so much better if he learned to live with his disorder. But I just saw just how far he was willing to go to resist change and why this place is so important to him.

This is paradise for him, here people mimic his social behavior and he must think I am trying to take it all away from him and that’s why he is trying to get rid of me. I don’t regret anything that happened, I’m not going to continue the discussion any further, he has found what he needs here.

The only answer really necessary is to reiterate the question he keeps refusing to answer:

So, have you asked her out yet?

[Darth Wong]

But I can see that it is also holding him back, that is why I have been trying to help him to understand how it is effecting his life, and I was starting to get through to him.

So Macross, aka - 31 Year Old Virgin is just concerned that Nitram's Asberger's is "holding him back?"

How altruistic of him. I'm sure this has absolutely nothing to do with his desperate attempt to distract us from the disastrous failings of the person who started this thread, namely Macross himself.

This is paradise for him, here people mimic his social behavior and he must think I am trying to take it all away from him and that’s why he is trying to get rid of me.

Ahh, paranoia too. Everyone is part of Nitram's conspiracy to get rid of Macross!

Macross, your clock is ticking. My older son has Asberger's, and you are quite simply wrong about it. It's a wide-spectrum condition with many different variants. It cost me $1200 to have a professional diagnosis performed, because he is such a high-functioning case that the school did not feel it was worthwhile to do a diagnosis through the public system. Most people have no idea that he has any condition at all.

Your armchair diagnosis is not only absurd and completely worthless, but it is personally offensive to me on many levels, because you think that if you hear the two words "Asberger's Syndrome", you can build a complete picture of someone's personality and abilities and potential based on some Googling and a Wikipedia article.

As amusing as it has been to watch you twist and squirm on a hook, your continued harping on Asberger's Syndrome and your repeated asinine assumptions that those magic two words allow you to paint a complete picture of a human being are simply unacceptable, and I've had enough.

Therefore, I will be expecting an apology and retraction from you by the weekend, on behalf of both SirNitram and my son. If I don't get one, you're history.

PS. Don't worry, we'll all get along just fine if we boot your sorry virgin ass out the door. Martin will be fine too.

[Enigma]

<snip>
Hell I've said as much too.

mind you, I would prefer a pic of Ray Cav.

I don't know if there is a pic of RayCav. I know there is one of TJ, that his brother posted. If only I can track it down.

[SirNitram]

I wish to make a few statements in my defense of his crackpot 'diagnosis'.

1) 'Appears To Lack Empathy' does not mean 'Lacks Empathy'. To lack Empathy is Sociopathy/Psychopathy. AS cannot express empathy in the standard social cues you Neurotyps have. Thankfully, I am learning how to mimic them precisely. This leads to..

2) The accusal I am learning social cues off you guys. Sorry, folks, but no. Social cues I lack are in person. I have learned from everyone I have interacted with, so the few of you I've met in real life have contributed. But my cue-learning can't stop and won't stop.

3) 'My Aspergers does not define me.' vs. 'e wants everyone to believe that his Aspergers is not a problem,'. This is a bald-faced lie but a child and a liar. It is a problem. It is a problem I battle. But it no more defines who I am than the fibrosis in my liver. I define myself. I refuse to accept anything less. This is the only way to fight AS and other social disorders I have found that works: Stand up and push yourself.

If it wasn't a problem, it wouldn't be an effort.

I would like to thank the outpouring of support I have received. But then again, this kid is nothing but a punk on a PC. If he was important, on the other hand, I could probably sue him for libel/slander.

[LadyTevar]

Here is a list of symptoms.

Dislike any changes in routines.

This is why we always go out to eat every Saturday morning, and why the ladies at the restaurant know exactly what he's going to order. This is a Bonus to me.

Not pick up on social cues and lack inborn social skills, such as being able to read others' body language, start or maintain a conversation, and take turns talking.
Be unable to recognize subtle differences in speech tone, pitch, and accent that alter the meaning of others’ speech.

He's gotten a lot better at this. It helps that I'm a very empathic and expressive person, so I emote very clearly.

Appear to lack empathy.

Key Word: APPEAR
He does have a full measure of empathy. He does not always know how to emote that empathy, but it is there.

Be preoccupied with only one or few interests, which he or she may be very knowledgeable about. Many children with Asperger's syndrome are overly interested in parts of a whole or in unusual activities, such as doing intricate jigsaw puzzles, designing houses, drawing highly detailed scenes, or astronomy.

Not a problem, because his interests mesh very well with mine. Next complaint?

Talk a lot, usually about a favorite subject. One-sided conversations are common. Internal thoughts are often verbalized.

You won't believe how much I can learn just letting him ramble about the things he's read on his political, science, or news blogs. Who needs CNN? I get a personalized news account from a man with a sexy British accent!
Whether you believe me or not, we can make 4 hours drives and never run out of things to talk about or discuss, due to this 'flaw' you think you see in him.


But, I guess it does not matter, since I doubt you'll have any more balls to stand up and admit you're wrong about Nitram and Asperger's in general than you did in asking the "girl of your dreams" out the past two years.

Don't let the door hit you on the way out!

[Darth Onasi]

It seems to me that Macross believed if he was to somehow discredit Nitram, someone with problems who's dealt with them and is respected on this board then he, someone with problems who revels in them and got yelled at on this board for it, would gain some sort of status.
It does seem rather stalker-esque behaviour.

[Enigma]

He keeps evading the question and is "concerned" with Nitram. The thread isn't about Nitram and his disorder. It is about Macross' inability to ask a woman out!

And he's worried about Nitram's anger. So? Yeah I know sometimes he'll blow up on someone. But you know what Macross? More often than not it was deserved and I know since I've been is target a couple of times. Do I use that against him and try to make it personal? Hell no. I just accept it an move on. Hell, it is my wish that one day to meet both Nit and Tev in person.

Apologise quick and make it very sincere.

P.S. I hope what I said makes sense and I hope it didn't come out offensive.