So how do YOU jack off?

OT: anything goes!

Moderator: Edi

HemlockGrey
Fucking Awesome
Posts: 13834
Joined: 2002-07-04 03:21pm

So how do YOU jack off?

Post by HemlockGrey »

Anarchistbunny must be proven wrong. Here's another sex-related thread for y'all.

So...how do YOU jack off?
The End of Suburbia
"If more cars are inevitable, must there not be roads for them to run on?"
-Robert Moses

"The Wire" is the best show in the history of television. Watch it today.
User avatar
MKSheppard
Ruthless Genocidal Warmonger
Ruthless Genocidal Warmonger
Posts: 29842
Joined: 2002-07-06 06:34pm

Post by MKSheppard »

in front of the computer, with endless gigs of porn being downloaded
thru my cable modem, MWHA HA HA HA
"If scientists and inventors who develop disease cures and useful technologies don't get lifetime royalties, I'd like to know what fucking rationale you have for some guy getting lifetime royalties for writing an episode of Full House." - Mike Wong

"The present air situation in the Pacific is entirely the result of fighting a fifth rate air power." - U.S. Navy Memo - 24 July 1944
User avatar
DPDarkPrimus
Emperor's Hand
Posts: 18399
Joined: 2002-11-22 11:02pm
Location: Iowa
Contact:

Post by DPDarkPrimus »

With my hand? :P
Mayabird is my girlfriend
Justice League:BotM:MM:SDnet City Watch:Cybertron's Finest
"Well then, science is bullshit. "
-revprez, with yet another brilliant rebuttal.
User avatar
ArmorPierce
Rabid Monkey
Posts: 5904
Joined: 2002-07-04 09:54pm
Location: Born and raised in Brooklyn, unfornately presently in Jersey

Post by ArmorPierce »

I don't know, how do you? (Great comeback by me :D )
Brotherhood of the Monkey @( !.! )@
To give anything less than your best is to sacrifice the gift. ~Steve Prefontaine
Aoccdrnig to rscheearch at an Elingsh uinervtisy, it deosn't mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the olny iprmoetnt tihng is taht frist and lsat ltteer are in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a toatl mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit a porbelm. Tihs is bcuseae we do not raed ervey lteter by it slef but the wrod as a wlohe.
User avatar
Darth Wong
Sith Lord
Sith Lord
Posts: 70028
Joined: 2002-07-03 12:25am
Location: Toronto, Canada
Contact:

Post by Darth Wong »

Left hand.
Image
"It's not evil for God to do it. Or for someone to do it at God's command."- Jonathan Boyd on baby-killing

"you guys are fascinated with the use of those "rules of logic" to the extent that you don't really want to discussus anything."- GC

"I do not believe Russian Roulette is a stupid act" - Embracer of Darkness

"Viagra commercials appear to save lives" - tharkûn on US health care.

http://www.stardestroyer.net/Mike/RantMode/Blurbs.html
User avatar
RedImperator
Roosevelt Republican
Posts: 16465
Joined: 2002-07-11 07:59pm
Location: Delaware
Contact:

Post by RedImperator »

Darth Wong wrote:Left hand.
Now here's a question: are you left or right handed? I ask this because I'm left handed and I do practically everything with my left hand--throw, write, bowl, bat, hold my cigarette, etc. But I jack off with my right hand. If I try with my left, because my right arm is getting tired or something, the best I can do is "placehold" until my right arm feels better. I can't get off at all using my left hand. I'm wondering if this is something just unique to me, or are there other people like this.
Image
Any city gets what it admires, will pay for, and, ultimately, deserves…We want and deserve tin-can architecture in a tinhorn culture. And we will probably be judged not by the monuments we build but by those we have destroyed.--Ada Louise Huxtable, "Farewell to Penn Station", New York Times editorial, 30 October 1963
X-Ray Blues
User avatar
ArmorPierce
Rabid Monkey
Posts: 5904
Joined: 2002-07-04 09:54pm
Location: Born and raised in Brooklyn, unfornately presently in Jersey

Post by ArmorPierce »

Darth Wong wrote:Left hand.
weirdo
Brotherhood of the Monkey @( !.! )@
To give anything less than your best is to sacrifice the gift. ~Steve Prefontaine
Aoccdrnig to rscheearch at an Elingsh uinervtisy, it deosn't mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the olny iprmoetnt tihng is taht frist and lsat ltteer are in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a toatl mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit a porbelm. Tihs is bcuseae we do not raed ervey lteter by it slef but the wrod as a wlohe.
Enforcer Talen
Warlock
Posts: 10285
Joined: 2002-07-05 02:28am
Location: Boston
Contact:

Post by Enforcer Talen »

left hand just does *not* work for me.
Image
This day is Fantastic!
Myers Briggs: ENTJ
Political Compass: -3/-6
DOOMer WoW
"I really hate it when the guy you were pegging as Mr. Worst Case starts saying, "Oh, I was wrong, it's going to be much worse." " - Adrian Laguna
User avatar
jaeger115
Rabid Monkey
Posts: 1222
Joined: 2002-12-29 04:39pm
Location: In the dark corridor, behind you

Post by jaeger115 »

I can jack off with either hand. Sometimes I rub my member against the bed mattress. :)
Concession accepted - COMMENCE PRIMARY IGNITION
Elite Warrior Monk of SD.net
BotM. Demolition Monkey
"I don't believe in God, any more than I believe in Mother Goose." - Clarence Darrow
HAB Special-Ops and Counter-Intelligence Agent
Enforcer Talen
Warlock
Posts: 10285
Joined: 2002-07-05 02:28am
Location: Boston
Contact:

Post by Enforcer Talen »

tried that the first couple times, but it didnt work after a while.
Image
This day is Fantastic!
Myers Briggs: ENTJ
Political Compass: -3/-6
DOOMer WoW
"I really hate it when the guy you were pegging as Mr. Worst Case starts saying, "Oh, I was wrong, it's going to be much worse." " - Adrian Laguna
User avatar
Sr.mal
Jedi Knight
Posts: 713
Joined: 2002-12-08 02:13pm
Location: Antartica

Post by Sr.mal »

Ambidextrous I use both hands :D
Ever since I was a scumdog, I blew a cum-wad.
I need a mother-fucking suckadickalickalong
A drunk, a pervert, a junkie and a sodimizer.
But you can call me the salaminizer
-The Salaminzer by GWAR
User avatar
Darth Wong
Sith Lord
Sith Lord
Posts: 70028
Joined: 2002-07-03 12:25am
Location: Toronto, Canada
Contact:

Post by Darth Wong »

RedImperator wrote:
Darth Wong wrote:Left hand.
Now here's a question: are you left or right handed? I ask this because I'm left handed and I do practically everything with my left hand--throw, write, bowl, bat, hold my cigarette, etc. But I jack off with my right hand. If I try with my left, because my right arm is getting tired or something, the best I can do is "placehold" until my right arm feels better. I can't get off at all using my left hand. I'm wondering if this is something just unique to me, or are there other people like this.
I'm right-handed.
Image
"It's not evil for God to do it. Or for someone to do it at God's command."- Jonathan Boyd on baby-killing

"you guys are fascinated with the use of those "rules of logic" to the extent that you don't really want to discussus anything."- GC

"I do not believe Russian Roulette is a stupid act" - Embracer of Darkness

"Viagra commercials appear to save lives" - tharkûn on US health care.

http://www.stardestroyer.net/Mike/RantMode/Blurbs.html
Enforcer Talen
Warlock
Posts: 10285
Joined: 2002-07-05 02:28am
Location: Boston
Contact:

Post by Enforcer Talen »

o_O why use the left then?
Image
This day is Fantastic!
Myers Briggs: ENTJ
Political Compass: -3/-6
DOOMer WoW
"I really hate it when the guy you were pegging as Mr. Worst Case starts saying, "Oh, I was wrong, it's going to be much worse." " - Adrian Laguna
User avatar
Darth Yoshi
Metroid
Posts: 7342
Joined: 2002-07-04 10:00pm
Location: Seattle
Contact:

Post by Darth Yoshi »

Damn. Beat me to it, HG! Left hand.
Image
Fragment of the Lord of Nightmares, release thy heavenly retribution. Blade of cold, black nothingness: become my power, become my body. Together, let us walk the path of destruction and smash even the souls of the Gods! RAGNA BLADE!
Lore Monkey | the Pichu-master™
Secularism—since AD 80
Av: Elika; Prince of Persia
User avatar
Shadow WarChief
Rabid Monkey
Posts: 1340
Joined: 2002-07-04 06:29am
Location: San Francisco

Post by Shadow WarChief »

I fit with RedImperator's pattern.

I'm right handed but I jack off with my left. Right just gets tired too quickyl and I can't get a good grip.


It has actually been my conclusion that people's handedness (wheter they consider themselv'es left handed or right handed in life) relates to the amount of dexterity they have, while the other hand is for physical tasks...such as jacking off which requires it.


Oh yeah, Armorpierce: Go fuck yourself. :lol:
User avatar
Raptor 597
Sith Devotee
Posts: 3338
Joined: 2002-08-01 03:54pm
Location: Lafayette, Louisiana

Post by Raptor 597 »

Left hand. Right hand feels weird and the left is faster.
Formerly the artist known as Captain Lennox

"To myself I am only a child playing on the beach, while vast oceans of truth lie undiscovered before me." - Sir Isaac Newton
User avatar
The Dark
Emperor's Hand
Posts: 7378
Joined: 2002-10-31 10:28pm
Location: Promoting ornithological awareness

Post by The Dark »

WTF???

OK, I have to say I'm just goofy, cause it's all right for me (normal stuff and...*ahem*). Of course, I bat left-handed in baseball and golf left-handed, but everything else is right-handed.
Stanley Hauerwas wrote:[W]hy is it that no one is angry at the inequality of income in this country? I mean, the inequality of income is unbelievable. Unbelievable. Why isn’t that ever an issue of politics? Because you don’t live in a democracy. You live in a plutocracy. Money rules.
BattleTech for SilCore
HemlockGrey
Fucking Awesome
Posts: 13834
Joined: 2002-07-04 03:21pm

Post by HemlockGrey »

Um, I meant technique(heh) not hand.
The End of Suburbia
"If more cars are inevitable, must there not be roads for them to run on?"
-Robert Moses

"The Wire" is the best show in the history of television. Watch it today.
User avatar
jaeger115
Rabid Monkey
Posts: 1222
Joined: 2002-12-29 04:39pm
Location: In the dark corridor, behind you

Post by jaeger115 »

For technique, I do it the old-fashioned way, with my right hand in the shower if my folks are around. If they aren't, I jack off to endless porn on the comp. :twisted:
Concession accepted - COMMENCE PRIMARY IGNITION
Elite Warrior Monk of SD.net
BotM. Demolition Monkey
"I don't believe in God, any more than I believe in Mother Goose." - Clarence Darrow
HAB Special-Ops and Counter-Intelligence Agent
User avatar
Admiral Valdemar
Outside Context Problem
Posts: 31572
Joined: 2002-07-04 07:17pm
Location: UK

Post by Admiral Valdemar »

I see dignity is a term with little use here. :)

I'm, dare I say it, ambidextrous.
User avatar
RedImperator
Roosevelt Republican
Posts: 16465
Joined: 2002-07-11 07:59pm
Location: Delaware
Contact:

Post by RedImperator »

HemlockGrey wrote:Um, I meant technique(heh) not hand.
There's masturbating techniques? How many different variations of "wrap your hand around your dick and jerk it up and down" can there possibly be?
Image
Any city gets what it admires, will pay for, and, ultimately, deserves…We want and deserve tin-can architecture in a tinhorn culture. And we will probably be judged not by the monuments we build but by those we have destroyed.--Ada Louise Huxtable, "Farewell to Penn Station", New York Times editorial, 30 October 1963
X-Ray Blues
User avatar
ArmorPierce
Rabid Monkey
Posts: 5904
Joined: 2002-07-04 09:54pm
Location: Born and raised in Brooklyn, unfornately presently in Jersey

Post by ArmorPierce »

Sorry, but it seems that your thread has been Hijacked, as for me, my left hand can't do shit, is slow, and I is a bit numb in that I can't actually feel how tight I'm gripping.
Brotherhood of the Monkey @( !.! )@
To give anything less than your best is to sacrifice the gift. ~Steve Prefontaine
Aoccdrnig to rscheearch at an Elingsh uinervtisy, it deosn't mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the olny iprmoetnt tihng is taht frist and lsat ltteer are in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a toatl mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit a porbelm. Tihs is bcuseae we do not raed ervey lteter by it slef but the wrod as a wlohe.
User avatar
Spanky The Dolphin
Mammy Two-Shoes
Posts: 30776
Joined: 2002-07-05 05:45pm
Location: Reykjavík, Iceland (not really)

Post by Spanky The Dolphin »

Left hand.
Image
I believe in a sign of Zeta.

[BOTM|WG|JL|Mecha Maniacs|Pax Cybertronia|Veteran of the Psychic Wars|Eva Expert]

"And besides, who cares if a monster destroys Australia?"
Enforcer Talen
Warlock
Posts: 10285
Joined: 2002-07-05 02:28am
Location: Boston
Contact:

Post by Enforcer Talen »

there's always different positions. the one I prefer hasnt been listed yet.

and, shower takes 4 times as long. very tiring.
Image
This day is Fantastic!
Myers Briggs: ENTJ
Political Compass: -3/-6
DOOMer WoW
"I really hate it when the guy you were pegging as Mr. Worst Case starts saying, "Oh, I was wrong, it's going to be much worse." " - Adrian Laguna
weemadando
SMAKIBBFB
Posts: 19195
Joined: 2002-07-28 12:30pm
Contact:

Post by weemadando »

3000 Miles to Graceland without ANY competition nearby.
Post Reply