Somethingawful presents: Bluestripe 40,000

[VT-16]

Another installment of the Bluestripe series, examining the trials and tribulations of the working being in popular sci-fi series. This time they've detailed a worker in WH40k:

http:+//www.somethingawful.co*/d/news/warhammer ... dhouse.php

[Ohma]

Ya clomp da most nails in da most chairs an make da biggest tabul an da biggest lamp. Ya paint awl da chairs red an cova dim in da 'ardest bits. Meeb'm da bestest cause meeb put da most nails in mi chairs. Neva fall apart.

[Zixinus]

VM: (He glowers silently for several seconds before answering.) Have you ever tried to hammer blood into blood?

Blue Stripe: Thanks for taking the time to speak with us.

Davidicus Bibulus: FOR THE EMPEROR!

One such ork is Grim-Lathe Furnimek, one of the most accomplished and "hard" of the Eazyboyz. This clan-within-a-clan consists of unskilled woodworkers hammering randomly at planks and looted furniture trying to create the next bedroom set for one of the bosses. We met with Grim-Lathe at his workshop in a canyon littered with the wreckage of partially constructed furniture.

[The Grim Squeaker]

So you don't take your Khorne worship seriously?

VM: Look, of course I do. All me and my pulping hammer do all day is worship Khorne. He's the best. Hooray frickin' Khorne. When you're planting soybeans one day and a guy with a skull for a head and two chainsaw axes walks out of your barn covered in blood you're going to sign up for whatever he wants. I signed up for Khorne. I got stuck with Gristlewick and this lake of blood.
...
Some lucky assholes on the other side of the planet got caught by the Perfumed Choir of the Supreme Tempter of Antioxus XI. They signed up for the Slaaneshi legions. Do you know how they're probably gonna die?

BS: No.

VM: Too many orgasms.

Brilliant . A pity there aren't more serious "behind the scenes" things though.

[Slacker]

Spectacular. I was sort of hoping for the working-stiff Bonesinger making sure the wraithbone was glittery enough, but que sera.