Eleas wrote:As an aside, I'd agree that rape in some respects is a worse blow to a man's self-worth. Conversely however, this Western cultural spectre of rape as being the worst thing you can do to a woman may serve to make the experience that much more awful for her. Correct me if I'm wrong, but it's my understanding that the average woman is aware of rape in ways that most men are not.
Yes, yes we are. Let's deal with a little fact: a woman in the US has a lifetime risk of rape of something like 25%. That means 1 in 4 women are going to be raped. That's why it strikes some of us as fucking SILLY that men get up on a soapbox about women in combat and say "You might be captured AND YOU MIGHT BE RAPED!!!!!!!!". Oh, you mean
like we just might be raped in civilian life? Being outside of military and combat
does not protect a woman from rape.
And no one seems to mention that there is a difference between sexual abuse coming from someone you know - a spouse, relative, or supposed friend - where not only is there rape but also the pain of broken trust and betrayal, versus someone who is
explicitly your enemy, a stranger, and someone you expect to do you harm. Maybe men just don't work that way. Let me explain - if my spouse lies to me it's more painful than if a stranger lies to me. If a friend does me harm of any sort it's more painful than if a stranger does me harm.
In the first Gulf War a woman was taken POW after a helicoptor crash. She
wasn't raped. The worst that happened was that one of her captors fondled her tits. Holy fuck! He
touched her tits! I've had to put up with that just walking through a fucking bar in the civilian world. I once had a total stranger at a comic book convention grab me, try to French kiss me, and fondle my ass (after which I slammed down on both his insteps, kicked his shins, slapped his face, and called for security). Holy fuck! What happened to the woman POW in the Big Bad Middle East was
less than I've had to deal with in the civilian world.
It just doesn't cut it as a reason to keep women out of combat with most women. As a matter of fact, that woman's male companion in captivity was treated FAR worse than she was, was repeatedly beaten, etc. So even in a place like the Middle East it is not
automatic that women will be raped or treated worse than a man.
Unless a woman's chance of being raped in the military or combat really is greater than her risk in civilian life then raped doesn't cut it as an excuse to keep women out of combat. There may be
other reasons, but honestly I sometimes think men fear women soldiers being raped more than women soldiers do.
As another example, in WWII the Japanese treated male POW's
much more harshly than females. That doesn't mean anyone was treated nicely, just that men were more often abused and died much more frequently when held by the Japanese.
It's built up as the ultimate horror, a fate literally worse than anything else you could name. And when it finally happens, when the woman suddenly realizes that every horror story she has ever been told about rape is about to become real...
That
really depends on the women's social context. In some cases the family/friends can be extremely supportive of the woman in question. In others, there condemnation and abandonment. Personally, I always thought being maimed to the extent I couldn't recover full function of my body would be worse than a simple rape, which I
could reocver from. I'd rather be raped than shot in the head. Of course, in no way would I ever want to be raped, it's just that I can imagine things that would be far, far worse. Then again, I am confident my family and spouse would still love me and would stand behind me if I was raped. If I was equally convinced they would revile and abandon me it would be a different story.