So how do YOU jack off?

ArmorPierce · Post by **ArmorPierce** » 2003-01-23 11:47pm

closet sci-fi fan wrote:I let the blood do the lubricating.

LoL

Your techniques wouldn't work for me as I don't have foreskin (which I am glad)

Frank Hipper · Post by **Frank Hipper** » 2003-01-23 11:47pm

Right hand.

In bed, on my back.

Vaseline. There are no substitutes.

Turn head for the finale, or at least close my mouth, sometimes.

[/i]

ArmorPierce · Post by **ArmorPierce** » 2003-01-23 11:54pm

Couple of strange things I saw while browsing the forum of the link that exonerate provided

Sheet Play Get naked on the bed, lying or reclining on your back, with one or more pillows behind for comfort. Get fully erect, then draw up the bedsheet over your penis. Put one hand under your stiff phallus and splay out your fingers with palm facing down over your belly. (You can use the other hand to pleasure another part of you.) Move the hand with spread fingers up and down under the taut shaft of your penis, pressing it up against the sheet and rubbing with whatever degree of intensity suits you. Enjoy you member's outline showing up through the sheet, and especially the wet stain spreading around the glans and soon showing through the sheet if you secrete a lot of "pre-cum." With deep breathing, coast through the mounting ecstasy, the incredible tension building relentlessly as you "white-knuckle ride" with melting tummy and lustful thoughts and sensations towards the glorious chaos and havoc of orgasm. When this amazing and shuddering moment overwhelms you, either whip out from the sheet your convulsing phallus and watch it ejaculate all over your torso, or else keep it pressed up under the sheet and watch, transfixed, as your semen pulses out under the sheet and quickly creates a wet, gooey stain.

Umm... no thanks

Suck Yourself
For those of you who enjoy making the consumption of your own semen a part of your masturbation ritual, here's a logistical suggestion. You can use a soda straw to suck up your semen as it issues forth from your penis. It adds that little extra reach that you otherwise need, and it allows you to consume it at the very moment of ejaculation. This helps avoid putting yourself into a potentially harmful physical position, and it avoids the resolution phase (when you lose interest) that follows an orgasm so quickly. Your back is safe and you can slurp it up in a timely manner.

And why would I get off at slurping up my own cum?

Cal Wright · Post by **Cal Wright** » 2003-01-23 11:57pm

With a couple of gals.

Keevan_Colton · Post by **Keevan_Colton** » 2003-01-23 11:59pm

DG_Cal_Wright wrote:With a couple of gals.

Its got to be one of the more entertaining techniques.

XaLEv · Post by **XaLEv** » 2003-01-24 12:01am

Einhander Sn0m4n wrote:Nice.

*BOING!!!*

Would the list of things which don't elicit that response from you be longer or shorter than the list of that which does?

Keevan_Colton · Post by **Keevan_Colton** » 2003-01-24 12:03am

XaLEv wrote:
Einhander Sn0m4n wrote:Nice.

*BOING!!!*
Would the list of things which don't elicit that response from you be longer or shorter than the list of that which does?

Shorter methinks....anything longer might elicit that response on general principals

Shinova · Post by **Shinova** » 2003-01-24 12:54am

Einhander Sn0m4n wrote:
closet sci-fi fan wrote:
Arthur_Tuxedo wrote: That's what vaseline is for, I used to rub the skin right off before I discovered it.
I let the blood do the lubricating.
WTF?!

I think he's joking.

RedImperator · Post by **RedImperator** » 2003-01-24 12:54am

Keevan_Colton wrote:I'm reasonably skilled with either hand....I can wield an axe or sword with skill using either or both and the same applys to most tasks......particularly those where the skill is in the wrist.

I can only assume that axes and swords do not play a major role in your masturbatory technique.

Keevan_Colton · Post by **Keevan_Colton** » 2003-01-24 12:56am

RedImperator wrote:
Keevan_Colton wrote:I'm reasonably skilled with either hand....I can wield an axe or sword with skill using either or both and the same applys to most tasks......particularly those where the skill is in the wrist.
I can only assume that axes and swords do not play a major role in your masturbatory technique.

They dont, but they also require good wrist action

^^ · Post by ^^ » 2003-01-24 12:57am

i get an icecold diet pepsi and work it up

then i take my shotgun and blow a hole in my backyard

then i stick my winky in the ground

the worms have their fun

Stuart Mackey · Post by **Stuart Mackey** » 2003-01-24 01:13am

Mrs hand and her five daughters do it for me

RedImperator · Post by **RedImperator** » 2003-01-24 01:28am

^^ wrote:i get an icecold diet pepsi and work it up

then i take my shotgun and blow a hole in my backyard

then i stick my winky in the ground

the worms have their fun

What in the everloving name of fuck is the matter with you? I've got an eighth of some pretty good shit coming to me tomorrow, but if you've got better, let me know...

Einhander Sn0m4n · Post by **Einhander Sn0m4n** » 2003-01-24 04:15am

^^ wrote:i get an icecold diet pepsi and work it up

then i take my shotgun and blow a hole in my backyard

then i stick my winky in the ground

the worms have their fun

King Six to Mother Goose. Whiskey Tango Foxtrot, over...

Cpt_Frank · Post by **Cpt_Frank** » 2003-01-24 04:45am

both hands work for me. (if one gets tired

)

unigolyn · Post by **unigolyn** » 2003-01-24 05:27am

Enforcer Talen wrote:o_O why use the left then?

Just try using the mouse with your left hand.

Asst. Asst. Lt. Cmdr. Smi · Post by **Asst. Asst. Lt. Cmdr. Smi** » 2003-01-24 07:21am

I usually don't use my hands, I do it at night, by rubbing it against the bed matress. That way, I can just stop when someone walks in, and my hands don't get dirty.

Post by **Vympel** » 2003-01-24 07:24am

Asst. Asst. Lt. Cmdr. Smi wrote:I usually don't use my hands, I do it at night, by rubbing it against the bed matress. That way, I can just stop when someone walks in, and my hands don't get dirty.

Wouldn't you fuck up your sheets?

RedImperator · Post by **RedImperator** » 2003-01-24 08:05am

Asst. Asst. Lt. Cmdr. Smi wrote:I usually don't use my hands, I do it at night, by rubbing it against the bed matress. That way, I can just stop when someone walks in, and my hands don't get dirty.

See, rather than do that, I've discovered an amazing technique to keep my hands AND my sheets clean:

Step 1: Wash dick with soap and water at least once a day.
Step 2: Use amazing new invention called "tissues" to catch the mess.
Step 3: Enjoy the sensation of sleeping in non-spooge-soaked sheets without my fingers sticking together.

Post by **Vympel** » 2003-01-24 08:09am

Did I mention that this is yet another horrible OT sex-related thread that just did not need to be here.

Like fuck guys just ... ew.

Xisiqomelir · Post by **Xisiqomelir** » 2003-01-24 08:27am

ArmorPierce wrote: Your techniques wouldn't work for me as I don't have foreskin (which I am glad)

May I be allowed to point out that people who DO have foreskins are equally glad that they've got em?

www.nocirc.org

Setzer · Post by **Setzer** » 2003-01-24 09:38am

I do it lying down, with my right hand.

salm · Post by **salm** » 2003-01-24 09:57am

i´ve learned to use my left hand when my right arm was broken and i´ve learned to use the mouse with the left hand when i discovered internet porn.

kheegster · Post by **kheegster** » 2003-01-24 10:44am

Xisiqomelir wrote:
ArmorPierce wrote: Your techniques wouldn't work for me as I don't have foreskin (which I am glad)
May I be allowed to point out that people who DO have foreskins are equally glad that they've got em?

www.nocirc.org

Three cheers for foreskins

. Who needs vaseline to jack off?

I also do it with my left hand...seems tighter somehow...

Tsyroc · Post by **Tsyroc** » 2003-01-24 10:55am

kheegan wrote:
Xisiqomelir wrote:
ArmorPierce wrote: Your techniques wouldn't work for me as I don't have foreskin (which I am glad)
May I be allowed to point out that people who DO have foreskins are equally glad that they've got em?

www.nocirc.org
Three cheers for foreskins . Who needs vaseline to jack off?

I also do it with my left hand...seems tighter somehow...

I always thought vaseline was way too sticky. Astroglide on the other hand is excellent.

Your left hand is probably tighter because it doesn't get as much action as your right hand.