I know its so bad it should be in testing, but I thought we all might enjoy the sheer moonbat nuttery of this guy.
He thinks that the EU (which is ran out of a building that resembles the Tower of Babel) has built the LHC to open a hole in the Van Allen Belts to allow Satan to come to Earth! Even better, he claims that this is why the Apollo landings were faked (as it's impossible to travel through the Van Allen Belts) to set the stage for the construction of the LHC, and as proof of how difficult that doing anything in space is, he says that the Voyager space probes (or as he calls them "satellites") had to use the planets to turn!
Perhaps this could be a thread celebrating the awesome humor inherent in the possibilty of the LHC destroying the world?
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You kinda look like Jesus. With a lightsaber.- Peregrin Toker
CaptainChewbacca wrote:Perhaps this could be a thread celebrating the awesome humor inherent in the possibilty of the LHC destroying the world?
I did like the suggestion made on this board a while back, that whoever pushes the button or flips the switch to turn it on should intone "Commence primary ignition !" as he does so.
Sweet satan, he even miswrote "Satan's" as "Satans". Idiotic and bad at grammar.
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CaptainChewbacca wrote:Perhaps this could be a thread celebrating the awesome humor inherent in the possibilty of the LHC destroying the world?
I did like the suggestion made on this board a while back, that whoever pushes the button or flips the switch to turn it on should intone "Commence primary ignition !" as he does so.
Why thank you
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"DO YOU WORSHIP HOMOSEXUALS?" - Curtis Saxton (source) shroom is a lovely boy and i wont hear a bad word against him - LUSY-CHAN! Shit! Man, I didn't think of that! It took Shroom to properly interpret the screams of dying people - PeZook Shroom, I read out the stuff you write about us. You are an endless supply of morale down here. :p - an OWS street medic Pink Sugar Heart Attack!
Idiot
When Jesus comes to Judge the world YOU will have to give account for your careless words
I replied by saying something like "Jesus doesn't give a shit about Space Hell videogames or Stargate TV serieses and a lot of things are more important than your shitty theories, like Unsafe Africa."
I also compared his delusions to that of those fundies in the 50s who thought that atomic testing would cause Satan to rise up and crush Tokyo with his newfound atomic powers.
In a much more polite and eloquent way, of course
"DO YOU WORSHIP HOMOSEXUALS?" - Curtis Saxton (source) shroom is a lovely boy and i wont hear a bad word against him - LUSY-CHAN! Shit! Man, I didn't think of that! It took Shroom to properly interpret the screams of dying people - PeZook Shroom, I read out the stuff you write about us. You are an endless supply of morale down here. :p - an OWS street medic Pink Sugar Heart Attack!
Shroom Man 777 wrote:I am Satan and this Large Hadron Collider gives me a Very Large Hard-On.
My Large Hard-On will break the Van Allen's Belt and allow interdimensional monstrosities to come to Earth to do battle with God and his holy warriors.
A top secret research facility on Mars has opened a gateway to another dimension. A dimension of untellable horrers and terrors.
It is Hell.
In Space.
Space Hell.
In a much more polite and eloquent way, of course
Lies.
Thumbs up, regardless.
"If the flight succeeds, you swipe an absurd amount of prestige for a single mission. Heroes of the Zenobian Onion will literally rain upon you." - PeZook
"If the capsule explodes, heroes of the Zenobian Onion will still rain upon us. Literally!" - Shroom
Cosmonaut Ivan Ivanovich Ivanov (deceased, rain), Cosmonaut Petr Petrovich Petrov, Unnamed MASA Engineer, and Unnamed Zenobian Engineerski in Let's play: BARIS
Captain, MFS Robber Baron, PRFYNAFBTFC - "Absolute Corruption Powers Absolutely"
Oh, no. He PMed me after that and I was much more civil to him then.
"DO YOU WORSHIP HOMOSEXUALS?" - Curtis Saxton (source) shroom is a lovely boy and i wont hear a bad word against him - LUSY-CHAN! Shit! Man, I didn't think of that! It took Shroom to properly interpret the screams of dying people - PeZook Shroom, I read out the stuff you write about us. You are an endless supply of morale down here. :p - an OWS street medic Pink Sugar Heart Attack!
Still, the level of interest that he takes in this is... well, actually not that surprising.
"If the flight succeeds, you swipe an absurd amount of prestige for a single mission. Heroes of the Zenobian Onion will literally rain upon you." - PeZook
"If the capsule explodes, heroes of the Zenobian Onion will still rain upon us. Literally!" - Shroom
Cosmonaut Ivan Ivanovich Ivanov (deceased, rain), Cosmonaut Petr Petrovich Petrov, Unnamed MASA Engineer, and Unnamed Zenobian Engineerski in Let's play: BARIS
Captain, MFS Robber Baron, PRFYNAFBTFC - "Absolute Corruption Powers Absolutely"
Shroom Man 777 wrote:A top secret research facility on Mars has opened a gateway to another dimension. A dimension of untellable horrers and terrors.
Bullshit! It was zombie-yielding genetic experiments! Hell had nothing to do with it!
No, wait, genetic experimentation is a SIN now...... So the DooM movie was about Hell!
Lord of the Abyss wrote:I did like the suggestion made on this board a while back, that whoever pushes the button or flips the switch to turn it on should intone "Commence primary ignition !" as he does so.
Not to be too Weir but... I'd go with a "Do you see?"
Nutcase wrote:33 just happens to be the highest Masonic number.
33 just happens to be the AMS Mathematical subject number of special functions. 33 just happens to be the Messier object number of the Triangulum Galaxy. 33 is one third of 99, which is one short of a century. The Fox network has a chanel 33 in Northern Michigan. There are 33 reasons why libraries are still important (not that this guy would know what a library is). The X-33 is NASA's "next generation" of space vehicles. FUCKING SPACE VEHICLES!! Genesis has a 33-rd chapter. Any book longer than 32 pages has a 33-rd page. Any book with more than 32 chapters has a 33-rd.
Truly, numerology is a great advance in knowledge. Unlike number theory.
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Pretty typical conspiracy theorist stuff: his theory is a lot of ludicrous bullshit laughable to anyone who knows anything about the subjects being discussed, with some random "interesting coincidences" thrown in to give an illusion of credibility.
His scientific errors are unsurprisingly vast.
(1) Much like Freedo Dwoll, he does not realize that black holes come into being as a function of density, not mass.
(2) You can't change direction in space. That's right folks, rockets magically stop working beyond the atmosphere!
(3) General ludicrous bullshit about travel through the Van Allen belts being impossible, not comprehending what the term "dimension" means etc.
Reading "Armageddon??" by Stuart has conviced me a portal to Hell could be a good thing. And that all we need do is ensure we have enough "Iron-Chariots" ready to g to exploit the portal to Hell and we can kick some satanic Ass and rescue Einstein, Newton, plus Tesla and Edison, get them some updated scientific training and get cracking and see if we can't create Fusion power in a few less decades.
"A cult is a religion with no political power." -Tom Wolfe Pardon me for sounding like a dick, but I'm playing the tiniest violin in the world right now-Dalton
I bet that's exactly what they're up to. The real plan is use the LHSC to open a hole in the Van Allen Belts so NASA can send our secret Orion drive battleships to Niburu and kick Satan's ass. The whole Satanic conspiracy was just a ruse to fool Satan: he's so worried about getting into Earth he isn't pausing to think about what we might be sending at him.
Hey, I just signed up to YouTube just so I can post exactly that:
I, on YouTube wrote:Interesting theory, but I can think of an alternative:
The real plan is use the LHSC to open a hole in the Van Allen Belts so NASA can send our secret space fleet to Niburu, kick Satan's ass, and take over Hell. The whole Satanic conspiracy was just a ruse to fool Satan: he's so worried about getting to us he isn't pausing to think about what WE might be sending at HIM. His arrogance will be his undoing. When Satan's minions materialize in the Supercollider we will welcome them with bullets.
Pity it's buried at the bottom of 350 comments so the guy probably won't even see, I'd love to see his reaction.
bilateralrope (16 hours ago) wrote: And the LORD was with Judah; and he drave out the inhabitants of the mountain; but could not drive out the inhabitants of the valley, because they had chariots of iron. (Judges 1:19)
We call our iron chariots "tanks" and should Satan try anything, we on Earth have nothing to lose by fighting back.
We also have nukes. So Satan's choices are to avoid fighting us, to fight and lose, or to fight and have us reduce the earth to a radioactive wasteland before we lose.
I say we open the gate.
BTW, I like the response someone left for ShroomMan777
Dolebob wrote:
i want you to fuck me in the ass
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Mr Bean wrote:Reading "Armageddon??" by Stuart has conviced me a portal to Hell could be a good thing. And that all we need do is ensure we have enough "Iron-Chariots" ready to g to exploit the portal to Hell and we can kick some satanic Ass and rescue Einstein, Newton, plus Tesla and Edison, get them some updated scientific training and get cracking and see if we can't create Fusion power in a few less decades.
Amusingly, there's a miniature wargame based on precisely that premise; in the aftermath of the 30 Years War, Europeans find a gate to Hell, and begin to colonise there, instead of the Americas.
Going back to Chewie's OP, I thought of this, myself.
"So you want to live on a planet?"
"No. I think I'd find it a bit small and wierd."
"Aren't they dangerous? Don't they get hit by stuff?"
You know, if Satan's soldiers couldn't handle a trip through the Van Allen belts I get the feeling they probably really wouldn't like finding themselves staring down the barrel of a superpowered active particle accelerator as soon as they materialize on Earth. It's gonna go like all those times in Stargate where the Jaffa keep splattering themselves against the iris.
*Demon appears in the supercollider*
"I am Lucifer, behold my might - hey, what the?" <sizzle>
*Second demon materializes*
"Behold me puny humans and despai - aacckk!" <sizzle>
"
- PeZook
