BLOW-COST AIRLINE - JET CHIEF IN ' FREE SEX' PLEDGE
21st June 2008
By Ross Kaniuk
Ryanair boss Michael O’Leary has flown into a storm after boasting about low fares and free sex on a new service.
The airline chief told a stunned audience that his Transatlantic business fliers would pay between £3,160 and £3,950 for “beds and blowjobs”.
Answering a question during a whistlestop tour of three airports in Germany, O’Leary, 47, said: “In economy it will be very cheap fares, we say about e10 (£7.90).
“And in business class it will be beds and blowjobs. In business, it will all be free – including the blowjobs.”
His comments shocked Anja Seugling, Ryanair’s sales and marketing manager for Germany, Switzerland and Austria, who was translating his answers.
She began to choke on her glass of water when O’Leary asked: “Surely you have a word for blowjobs in German?”
O’Leary, who has a fiery reputation, then poked fun when told there was no word for “blowjob”, saying: “Terrible sex life in Germany.”
An airline spokesman yesterday confirmed O’Leary’s comments. He said: “The working title for the business class service is ‘Beds and Blowjobs’.”
But one family campaigner stormed: “Whether Mr O’Leary was joking or not, he should not be talking about an airline as if it’s some kind of cheap brothel. Many people will be offended by the coarse remark, especially family people.”
Ryanair will carry 52million passengers on 711 routes across 26 European countries this year.
Well, that settles it, I'm flying Ryanair for life.
aerius: I'll vote for you if you sleep with me. Lusankya: Deal!
Say, do you want it to be a threesome with your wife? Or a foursome with your wife and sister-in-law? I'm up for either.
Now pick any other Britain / Ireland regional dialect, and tell me whether it would sound halfway as entertaining or gently cheeky?
"Why aye love, can ya tell me what the jorrmun is furah blurrjurb, like?"
"...a fountain of mirth, issuing forth from the penis of a cupid..." ~ Dalton / Winner of the 'Frank Hipper Most Horrific Drag EVAR' award - 2004 / The artist formerly known as The_Lumberjack.
Evil Brit Conspiracy: Token Moose Obsessed Kebab Munching Semi Geordie
Sure, you get a blowjob. But you still land just outside your destination.
And so does the blowjob. I hope you enjoy rimming and thigh licking!
"Doctors keep their scalpels and other instruments handy, for emergencies. Keep your philosophy ready too—ready to understand heaven and earth. In everything you do, even the smallest thing, remember the chain that links them. Nothing earthly succeeds by ignoring heaven, nothing heavenly by ignoring the earth." M.A.A.A
Admiral Valdemar wrote:Given mouth almighty O'Leary also said he'd fly us from London to NY for a fiver, I'm going to take a "cautiously optimistic" stance here.
I'm fairly certain O'Leary is deluded. One major reason why air fares are so fucking expensive is the costs of fuel. 10 euros per economy class passenger? I doubt that'll even pay the costs for the fuel a plane needs to lift that passenger's weight off the ground.
Those gun nuts do not understand the meaning of "overkill," and will simply use weapon after weapon of mass destruction (WMD) until the monster is dead, or until they run out of weapons.
They have more WMD than there are monsters for us to fight. (More insanity here.)
Sidewinder wrote:
I'm fairly certain O'Leary is deluded. One major reason why air fares are so fucking expensive is the costs of fuel. 10 euros per economy class passenger? I doubt that'll even pay the costs for the fuel a plane needs to lift that passenger's weight off the ground.
I think the just of O'Leary's idea was to charge passengers for lots of extra services on the plane as a way of covering all the costs.
1: he's gone off his nut and spouting gibberish,
2: he's using a "funny" term to describe air-conditioning.
3: the cheap fares will be offset by having paltry passenger space and devoting much of the plane's internal bulk to cargo, where they get their real profit.
Oh, BTW, here's your stewardess who'll be handing out the blow jobs:
Something about Libertarianism always bothered me. Then one day, I realized what it was:
Libertarian philosophy can be boiled down to the phrase, "Work Will Make You Free."
In Libertarianism, there is no Government, so the Bosses are free to exploit the Workers.
In Communism, there is no Government, so the Workers are free to exploit the Bosses.
So in Libertarianism, man exploits man, but in Communism, its the other way around! If all you want to do is have some harmless, mindless fun, go H3RE INST3ADZ0RZ!! Grrr! Fight my Brute, you pansy!
Even a blow job from Kylie Minogue couldn't make me want to fly with Ryanair ever again.
They are so low budget they make Easyjet look classy and upmarket, last time I flew with them I near enough had to get out and help push the plane on to the runway. Ryanair do indeed help reduce the carbon footprint, because after you fly with them you're so pissed off you might never travel by plane again.
