Maurader's Idiocy

HemlockGrey · Post by **HemlockGrey** » 2003-01-25 07:04pm

Just saw most of 'Maurader' on UPN. Couldn't help but wonder at it all.

In the episode, Archer and Co have to drive off a band of Klingons that've been preying on a small community of deuterium miners. They elect to do this by concocting a ridicously contrived scheme to surround the Klingons in a ring of fire and then laughing at them.

But...why? There were several other options available to them that would have worked and taken far less time.

1) The Klingon ship is apparently no more than an armed freighter. When it drops into realspace, simply pounce on it and have the Enterprise cut loose, all gun blazing, and pound it into scrap.

2) Dig trenches in the town and erect sniper nests and when the Klingons beam in, cut them to ribbons with enfilading phaser fire.

3) Wait for the Klingons to beam down onto the planet, and then beam them into space or the detention area of the Enterprise.

Even if they followed through with their scheme of abandoning the town and relocating the resistance force to the gulleys, they simply could have waited for the Klingons to attack before taking them apart with concentrated fire, ala Pickett's Charge.

The Klingons had other options as well. Instead of eyeing the resistors and walking parellel to them, they could have held the town hostage and blew up random things until the resistors surrendered. They could have beamed the resistors into space and left the rest of the populace to work the pumps. They could have beamed the deuterium directly into their holds and skipped the whole planetside bit, period.

So why did none of this occur? Can we chalk it up to B&B stupidity, or were there other factors I am unaware of?

Post by **Sea Skimmer** » 2003-01-25 07:52pm

The only remotely sane moment in that whole episode was when the Klingon's threw down their edged weapons and drew disruptors. Everything else makes my brain melt.

Post by **Darth Wong** » 2003-01-25 08:18pm

Did you say "deuterium miners?" What the fuck do B&B think deuterium is?

Post by **Mr Bean** » 2003-01-25 08:21pm

Did you say "deuterium miners?" What the fuck do B&B think deuterium is?

Somthing powerful enough to run entire starbases

Yet harmless enough to use as a Paperweight!

Mike who knows WHAT the hell B&B think besides "Not often"

Montcalm · Post by **Montcalm** » 2003-01-25 08:27pm

If B&B don`t know anything about science and they like imagining weird stories they should go create shit for daytime soap.

HemlockGrey · Post by **HemlockGrey** » 2003-01-25 08:30pm

Did you say "deuterium miners?" What the fuck do B&B think deuterium is?

Well, in the episode, deuterium was a very rare and very valuable resource that was pumped out the ground and used to fuel starships.

Post by **Darth Wong** » 2003-01-25 08:36pm

HemlockGrey wrote:
Did you say "deuterium miners?" What the fuck do B&B think deuterium is?
Well, in the episode, deuterium was a very rare and very valuable resource that was pumped out the ground and used to fuel starships.

Well, in reality, deuterium is a radioisotope of hydrogen, and is formed by neutron capture. Water composed of D2O is called "heavy water". There will be minute traces of heavy water in any natural body of water, but there will NOT be a natural wellspring of heavy water.

Yet again, B&B urinate on the audience's brains.

Post by **Sea Skimmer** » 2003-01-25 08:44pm

Darth Wong wrote:
HemlockGrey wrote:
Did you say "deuterium miners?" What the fuck do B&B think deuterium is?
Well, in the episode, deuterium was a very rare and very valuable resource that was pumped out the ground and used to fuel starships.
Well, in reality, deuterium is a radioisotope of hydrogen, and is formed by neutron capture. Water composed of D2O is called "heavy water". There will be minute traces of heavy water in any natural body of water, but there will NOT be a natural wellspring of heavy water.

Yet again, B&B urinate on the audience's brains.

You'd just love their plan, which calls for exploding there buried deuterium storage tanks. When they do so, the result is a columb of flame similar to that of a burning oil well, only much cleaner and smaller. Almost as if it was fueled by propane..

Post by **Mr Bean** » 2003-01-25 09:11pm

So wait wait....

Are you telling me in effect that they just told us that WATER IS FLAMALBE?

MKSheppard · Post by **MKSheppard** » 2003-01-25 09:18pm

Mr Bean wrote:So wait wait....

Are you telling me in effect that they just told us that WATER IS FLAMALBE?

Their secret plan to destroy the empire! Lure them onto Mon Calamari
and then light the entire world on fire!!!!!!

Post by **Sea Skimmer** » 2003-01-25 10:37pm

Mr Bean wrote:So wait wait....

Are you telling me in effect that they just told us that WATER IS FLAMALBE?

Yes, and will be ignited by a pulse from a weapon that barely even stir up the dirt when it strikes.

Water can be made to burn, kind off. The fire at Chernobyl was hot enough to split it into oxygen and hydrogen and then burn those.

Shinova · Post by **Shinova** » 2003-01-25 10:44pm

Ah, what the hell. This is from the guy who said that "he's no longer concerned about the scientific aspects of Enterprise" or something to that degree.

When you watch something written by a man who has decided to throw science out the window, you get nothing remotely resembling science---isn't this clear to everyone already or have you been living in a cave?

Admiral Drason · Post by **Admiral Drason** » 2003-01-25 10:44pm

I watched about half of that episode but then I had to turn it off. I mean please Archer gets his high morals in their and decides not to kill them.

HemlockGrey · Post by **HemlockGrey** » 2003-01-25 10:48pm

Shinova, they haven't just thrown science out the window. That episode threw out tactics, pragmatism, drama, and common sense.

Darth Garden Gnome · Post by **Darth Garden Gnome** » 2003-01-25 10:51pm

Admiral Drason wrote:I watched about half of that episode but then I had to turn it off. I mean please Archer gets his high morals in their and decides not to kill them.

I would have just loved to see Kirk fry their asses good too.

And you, I'm keepign count (as best I can) Archer hasn't fucking killedanybodysince the godfosaken series began.

What kinda SF captain doesn't kill a few hundred Gorns, Klingons, Romulans, or Borg in their first season? Answer: a shitty one.

Patrick Degan · Post by **Patrick Degan** » 2003-01-25 11:12pm

Darth Wong wrote:Did you say "deuterium miners?" What the fuck do B&B think deuterium is?

Don't you remember? "Deuterium ore" made its first BragaTrek™ appearance in the idiotic Voyager episode "Demon".

Nathan F · Post by **Nathan F** » 2003-01-25 11:29pm

Yeah, Deuterium is an Isotope of Hydrogen, thats one screwed up planet if they are drilling for it...

*imagines someone throwing a match on the ground and blowing the entire planet to kingdom come*

Blaze · Post by **Blaze** » 2003-01-26 01:37pm

Darth Garden Gnome wrote:Archer hasn't fucking killedanybodysince the godfosaken series began.

actually didnt he leave a whole world of ppl to die in one of the early eps possibly called 'dear doctor'

Stormbringer · Post by **Stormbringer** » 2003-01-26 01:53pm

Blaze wrote:
Darth Garden Gnome wrote:Archer hasn't fucking killedanybodysince the godfosaken series began.
actually didnt he leave a whole world of ppl to die in one of the early eps possibly called 'dear doctor'

Yeah, he did. What a hypocritical asshole egh?

Posbi · Post by **Posbi** » 2003-01-26 02:42pm

Yeah, the series lost all the bit credibility it had left by then for me after "Dear Doctor". And those are the almost "enlightened" humans of the future...

TheDarkling · Post by **TheDarkling** » 2003-01-26 03:02pm

Blame the network for Dear Doctor, in the original ending the Doctor and Captain disagree badly and Archer orders the Doctor to help them (I believe the Doctor refuses) however the network didn't want conflict among the crew

and thus ordered the episode to be changed.

Darth Garden Gnome · Post by **Darth Garden Gnome** » 2003-01-26 03:05pm

TheDarkling wrote:Blame the network for Dear Doctor, in the original ending the Doctor and Captain disagree badly and Archer orders the Doctor to help them (I believe the Doctor refuses) however the network didn't want conflict among the crew and thus ordered the episode to be changed.

I hope to a dear god that is sweet and merciful that you are lying! They didn't want conflict amongst the crew? WTF!? That's called CHARCTER DEVELOPMENT B&B!!!!!! ARGHH!

Oh well, ENT can't get any worse in my eyes anyways....

TheDarkling · Post by **TheDarkling** » 2003-01-26 03:13pm

Originally, 'Dear Doctor' was supposed to end in a different manner. "The ending that had initially been created I was fairly comfortable with. But the head of the studio suggested some revisions on the ending. What do you do? I wasn't as happy with the revisions, but it's not my show, you have to sort of adjust, even if sometimes it does seem a bit of a contradiction in terms for what your character is supposed to be about."
So how did the ending change? "[In the original version,] in this crisis of conscience, the Doctor essentially does something that violates the standard issue hierarchical obligations of a crewmember to his captain," he explains. "In effect, he makes a decision that's rooted in 'I've got bigger fish to fry,' rather than honoring his captain's wishes. The network essentially felt that no, it was important to essentially make sure that everyone was here to support the captain's decisions. Personally I thought, 'Well, I think you've kind of lost something interesting in this potential tension.' But, that's not my call."

Darth Garden Gnome · Post by **Darth Garden Gnome** » 2003-01-26 03:16pm

*slaps face*

And so Western civilization crumbles.....

kojikun · Post by **kojikun** » 2003-01-26 10:35pm

Is it legal to launch tactical nukes on Paramount?