Mercenary Trade Booming
With many large nations cutting back on their militaries and conflicts continuing in Neverhood and Libertopia mercenary soldiers are becoming more and more prominent in today's war zones. Many of these mercenaries are independents, with a good number working for terrorist and rebel organizations. They do everything from fighting to flying aircraft and providing training and other support. These dogs of war add new complexity and danger to the world’s conflict zones.
Large PMC's such as ProTec and Dark Liquid have also been expanding their ranks and wish to distance themselves from "rogue operators." ProTec has reportedly relaxed its hiring standards in some cases with employees no longer having to be citizens of Indhopal. The company released a statement saying their hiring standards remain high and that all ProTec employees remain fully accountable for their actions.
SD.Net World(RAR!) MK IV
International websites victims of attack
Today, the official websites of the FUN, MESS, and several other international organizations became the victims of a digital attack. Viewers to those sites saw a page bearing a picture of a mushroom cloud and the words "The UAR is greater than chickenhawk superpower alliances. The chickenhawk superpower alliances are led by dumb pussies who have neither the guts or brains to realize that the only effective war is nuclear war. They are not prepared-the UAR is. Should it come to war, the UAR will crush them with nuclear fury and plant their banners in the rubble of their capitols.
Today, the official websites of the FUN, MESS, and several other international organizations became the victims of a digital attack. Viewers to those sites saw a page bearing a picture of a mushroom cloud and the words "The UAR is greater than chickenhawk superpower alliances. The chickenhawk superpower alliances are led by dumb pussies who have neither the guts or brains to realize that the only effective war is nuclear war. They are not prepared-the UAR is. Should it come to war, the UAR will crush them with nuclear fury and plant their banners in the rubble of their capitols.
Visitor of five museum ships.
Cyber Command
MESS Multi-national integrated command
"Honey pot worked?"
"Worked perfectly, sir. The result is filtered so that only the UAR gets the message. They're apparently too stupid to even use a proxy to check."
"No one ever claimed the UAR was smart. We have the location identified?"
"Came over a link from Coilerburg. Past that, we can't tell."
MESS Multi-national integrated command
"Honey pot worked?"
"Worked perfectly, sir. The result is filtered so that only the UAR gets the message. They're apparently too stupid to even use a proxy to check."
"No one ever claimed the UAR was smart. We have the location identified?"
"Came over a link from Coilerburg. Past that, we can't tell."
"preemptive killing of cops might not be such a bad idea from a personal saftey[sic] standpoint..." --Keevan Colton
"There's a word for bias you can't see: Yours." -- William Saletan
"There's a word for bias you can't see: Yours." -- William Saletan
The Battalion
Coilerberg 'hacking' attempts laughable
"Assholes really need to get a life" says source in Joint Information Operations Warfare Center(JIOWC).
Stephen F. Austin launches.
The LSRN's latest LHD, the Stephen F. Austin, launched yesterday afternoon. The new LHD class will be larger and more capable than the Davey Crockett class and enhance the LSR's ability to rapidly respond to world events.
At L3 Maritime Systems in Corpus Christi, the Goliad continues to be fitted out, and will commence on it's sea trials late this summer. The third and final TXN CSGN is currently undergoing sea trials in the Sabine Sea
Coilerberg 'hacking' attempts laughable
"Assholes really need to get a life" says source in Joint Information Operations Warfare Center(JIOWC).
Stephen F. Austin launches.
The LSRN's latest LHD, the Stephen F. Austin, launched yesterday afternoon. The new LHD class will be larger and more capable than the Davey Crockett class and enhance the LSR's ability to rapidly respond to world events.
At L3 Maritime Systems in Corpus Christi, the Goliad continues to be fitted out, and will commence on it's sea trials late this summer. The third and final TXN CSGN is currently undergoing sea trials in the Sabine Sea
Last edited by Lonestar on 2008-07-06 07:57pm, edited 1 time in total.
"The rifle itself has no moral stature, since it has no will of its own. Naturally, it may be used by evil men for evil purposes, but there are more good men than evil, and while the latter cannot be persuaded to the path of righteousness by propaganda, they can certainly be corrected by good men with rifles."
Port Eilatia, West Neverhood
The 9th Air Assault Division had been deployed now for a little over a year. But finally it was time to go home. Major General Benson, commander of the 9th, had received orders detailing their relief.
The 501st and 503rd Mech Infantry were going to be moving into Port Eilatia. It was a change from the previously light infantry exclusive forces the MESS had so far deployed, but by the same token, the West Neverhood military and police had been going mechanized as well. So it seemed to him a natural evolution that the MESS peacekeepers would start to go more mechanized as well. That way they could operate more effectively alongside the local forces.
In addition to the two regiments, a battalion of Patriot missiles and a battery of THAADs would be deployed as well, bringing an air defense component to the mission. After what had happened in the Diocese, NORTHCOM had apparently decided they didn't want to get caught completely off guard. And so these units from the 2nd Air Defense Artillery would come along.
General Benson suspected that the 504th Sustainment would also be deployed somewhere in support of their divisional brothers and sisters. He didn't know why the 502nd wasn't deploying to New Hadera, as his own 903rd had done. Maybe the Canissians didn't need an extra Regiment or were bringing in another of theirs?
He didn't know. He didn't need to know, either. What was important now was to get the Division ready to go back home. He knew they'd be thrilled with the news. Truth be told, he was looking forward to going back himself.
The 9th Air Assault Division had been deployed now for a little over a year. But finally it was time to go home. Major General Benson, commander of the 9th, had received orders detailing their relief.
The 501st and 503rd Mech Infantry were going to be moving into Port Eilatia. It was a change from the previously light infantry exclusive forces the MESS had so far deployed, but by the same token, the West Neverhood military and police had been going mechanized as well. So it seemed to him a natural evolution that the MESS peacekeepers would start to go more mechanized as well. That way they could operate more effectively alongside the local forces.
In addition to the two regiments, a battalion of Patriot missiles and a battery of THAADs would be deployed as well, bringing an air defense component to the mission. After what had happened in the Diocese, NORTHCOM had apparently decided they didn't want to get caught completely off guard. And so these units from the 2nd Air Defense Artillery would come along.
General Benson suspected that the 504th Sustainment would also be deployed somewhere in support of their divisional brothers and sisters. He didn't know why the 502nd wasn't deploying to New Hadera, as his own 903rd had done. Maybe the Canissians didn't need an extra Regiment or were bringing in another of theirs?
He didn't know. He didn't need to know, either. What was important now was to get the Division ready to go back home. He knew they'd be thrilled with the news. Truth be told, he was looking forward to going back himself.
This is the price of war,
We rise with noble intentions,
And we risk all that is pure..." - Angela & Jeff van Dyck, Forever (Rome: Total War)
"On and on, through the years,
The war continues on..." - Angela & Jeff van Dyck, We Are All One (Medieval 2: Total War)
"Courage is not the absence of fear, but rather the judgment that something else is more important than fear." - Ambrose Redmoon
"You either die a hero, or you live long enough to see yourself become the villain." - Harvey Dent, The Dark Knight
MINERVA
One Thousandth Buy N' Large Opens
BnL Headquarters: Zortropolis-The Popular Zorian Retail Corperation Buy n' Large today has proudly opened it's one Thousandth Location, which also happens to be the first. Over the past four years, the company has managed to grow from a minor retail chain to an international powerhouse in the Retail Sector, with outlets in Zoria, Syndromia and All FUN States save the Red Technocracy. Among the ranks of BnL's corperate Empire are the famous Department Stores and Supermarkets, as well as various outlets including the Warehouse Club subdivision of Club BnL, BnL Gas, In store based fast food chain BnL Burger and BnL Electronica Electronics Store. In Celibration of this event, Every Customer shopping at a BnL Today will receive a Free T-Shirt. BnL President CEO, Shelby Forthright has announced continued expansion with confidence "As the Jingle says, Everyone loves BnL!"
One Thousandth Buy N' Large Opens
BnL Headquarters: Zortropolis-The Popular Zorian Retail Corperation Buy n' Large today has proudly opened it's one Thousandth Location, which also happens to be the first. Over the past four years, the company has managed to grow from a minor retail chain to an international powerhouse in the Retail Sector, with outlets in Zoria, Syndromia and All FUN States save the Red Technocracy. Among the ranks of BnL's corperate Empire are the famous Department Stores and Supermarkets, as well as various outlets including the Warehouse Club subdivision of Club BnL, BnL Gas, In store based fast food chain BnL Burger and BnL Electronica Electronics Store. In Celibration of this event, Every Customer shopping at a BnL Today will receive a Free T-Shirt. BnL President CEO, Shelby Forthright has announced continued expansion with confidence "As the Jingle says, Everyone loves BnL!"
HAIL ZOR! WE'LL BLOW UP THE OCEAN!
Heros of Cybertron-HAB-Keeper of the Vicious pit of Allosauruses-King Leighton-I, United Kingdom of Zoria: SD.net World/Tsar Mikhail-I of the Red Tsardom: SD.net Kingdoms
WHEN ALL HELL BREAKS LOOSE ON EARTH, ALL EARTH BREAKS LOOSE ON HELL
Terran Sphere
The Art of Zor
Heros of Cybertron-HAB-Keeper of the Vicious pit of Allosauruses-King Leighton-I, United Kingdom of Zoria: SD.net World/Tsar Mikhail-I of the Red Tsardom: SD.net Kingdoms
WHEN ALL HELL BREAKS LOOSE ON EARTH, ALL EARTH BREAKS LOOSE ON HELL
Terran Sphere
The Art of Zor
-
Shroom Man 777
- FUCKING DICK-STABBER!
- Posts: 21222
- Joined: 2003-05-11 08:39am
- Location: Bleeding breasts and stabbing dicks since 2003
- Contact:
LIVE on ShroomSat/StratTV
The Sovereign Shroomanian Sentinel
COILERBURG COCKUP
Ten thousand men and women in styrofoam penises protest in Coilerburg.
"Make gay love, not war!" cried ten thousand men and women in styrofoam penises protesting in Coilerburg.
"We're Coilerburg citizens," said an anonymous transvestite. "And we're against the policy of our government. They might be dickheads, but they don't speak for us - the people! We're being oppressed! We can't proudly stand tall and erect anymore!"
In an apparent synchronized mishap, ShroomSats and ShroomStrats have both accidentally transmitted explicit pornography into the Coilerburg networks - filling all forms of transmitted media with homosexual materials.
Even the telephone lines are full of phone sex.
"It's entirely unintentional," says ShroomSat/Strat CEO Simon Seymour Sandoval. "The FUN nations in the Central Sea are celebrating Pride Week this week, and there might be some sort of transmission overlap with the Coilerburg networks - but hey, at least they can have some fun while we're at it."
"We can't help it if the Coiler's networks are like a limp dick."
The Sovereign Shroomanian Sentinel
COILERBURG COCKUP
Ten thousand men and women in styrofoam penises protest in Coilerburg.
"Make gay love, not war!" cried ten thousand men and women in styrofoam penises protesting in Coilerburg.
"We're Coilerburg citizens," said an anonymous transvestite. "And we're against the policy of our government. They might be dickheads, but they don't speak for us - the people! We're being oppressed! We can't proudly stand tall and erect anymore!"
In an apparent synchronized mishap, ShroomSats and ShroomStrats have both accidentally transmitted explicit pornography into the Coilerburg networks - filling all forms of transmitted media with homosexual materials.
Even the telephone lines are full of phone sex.
"It's entirely unintentional," says ShroomSat/Strat CEO Simon Seymour Sandoval. "The FUN nations in the Central Sea are celebrating Pride Week this week, and there might be some sort of transmission overlap with the Coilerburg networks - but hey, at least they can have some fun while we're at it."
"We can't help it if the Coiler's networks are like a limp dick."
"DO YOU WORSHIP HOMOSEXUALS?" - Curtis Saxton (source)shroom is a lovely boy and i wont hear a bad word against him - LUSY-CHAN!
Shit! Man, I didn't think of that! It took Shroom to properly interpret the screams of dying people
- PeZookShroom, I read out the stuff you write about us. You are an endless supply of morale down here. :p - an OWS street medic
Pink Sugar Heart Attack!
FASTA bulletin
Selene 1B crew returns safely to Terra
After a succesful deorbit burn and re-entry, the Selene 1B Soyuz capsule has touched down on the plains of Anatolya, marking the second fully succesful flight in the Selene program.
The capsule was recovered without incident, and both FASTA astronauts are alive and well. The mission's objective was to test orbital rendezvous procedures. The Soyuz crew has also performed several experiments in the capsule's orbital module, the results of which were brought back to Terra.
During a press conference, Mission Commander Lt. Col. Nikolas Papanderou of the Byzantine Air Force, commented:
"It's an incredible experience - we were travelling at more than 7 kilometers per second, making a round trip around Terra in less than two hours. This reminds me that the UAR has a philosophy, a saying about their bomber forces: They want to go "faster and higher". Well, I have just outdone them."
Comments about international politics aside, Selene 1B data analysis will pave the way for first docking tests in July with the Selene 4 flight. Selene 2, which will perform an eight-day manned duration flight, is planned for March, and the launch vehicle is already in assembly. The crew will consists of three astronauts.
LOR-1 mission completes primary goal
With the last dozen of photographs, the Luner Orbital Reconeissance-1 flight has completed its primary mission - that of delivering a detailed map of Selene. Cartographers and flight engineers will now analyze the material and select several landing sites to be further documented during the LOR-2 and 3 missions.
Inter-agency docking flight?
Due to cost saving measures, the FASTA ended up with enough money in its FY2011 budget to perform an additional Soyuz flight this year. FASTA directors have expressed their desire to plan and execute an inter-agency docking mission with the Mess Space Agency, some time by the end of the year, after Soyuz docking test flights are completed.
It suddenly struck me that that tiny pea, pretty and blue, was the Earth. I put up my thumb and shut one eye, and my thumb blotted out the planet Earth. I didn't feel like a giant. I felt very, very small.
- NEIL ARMSTRONG, MISSION COMMANDER, APOLLO 11
Signature dedicated to the greatest achievement of mankind.
MILDLY DERANGED PHYSICIST does not mind BREAKING the SOUND BARRIER, because it is INSURED. - Simon_Jester considering the problems of hypersonic flight for Team L.A.M.E.
Astoria Evening News
FCS-L convoy leaves for the UKB
In what has become a sort of a yearly tradition at the Archipelago, a huge convoy of 69 newly-built merchant ships has assembled in the Central Sea and left for the UKB - the biggest ISCA buyer so far. Citizens of all countries have gathered in the projected ports of call to the amazing sight of so many large ships sailing together.
The ships, making brief stopovers in several Central Sea ports, will contribute to Nova Terra shipping an immense 1.38 million tonnes of cargo capacity.
Further 71 ships will be built for the UKB year, completing a gigantic replacement program of the Kingdom's aging merchant navy, and keeping up the Great Convoy tradition for an additional year.
FCS-L convoy leaves for the UKB
In what has become a sort of a yearly tradition at the Archipelago, a huge convoy of 69 newly-built merchant ships has assembled in the Central Sea and left for the UKB - the biggest ISCA buyer so far. Citizens of all countries have gathered in the projected ports of call to the amazing sight of so many large ships sailing together.
The ships, making brief stopovers in several Central Sea ports, will contribute to Nova Terra shipping an immense 1.38 million tonnes of cargo capacity.
Further 71 ships will be built for the UKB year, completing a gigantic replacement program of the Kingdom's aging merchant navy, and keeping up the Great Convoy tradition for an additional year.
It suddenly struck me that that tiny pea, pretty and blue, was the Earth. I put up my thumb and shut one eye, and my thumb blotted out the planet Earth. I didn't feel like a giant. I felt very, very small.
- NEIL ARMSTRONG, MISSION COMMANDER, APOLLO 11
Signature dedicated to the greatest achievement of mankind.
MILDLY DERANGED PHYSICIST does not mind BREAKING the SOUND BARRIER, because it is INSURED. - Simon_Jester considering the problems of hypersonic flight for Team L.A.M.E.
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MKSheppard
- Ruthless Genocidal Warmonger
- Posts: 29842
- Joined: 2002-07-06 06:34pm
Coilerburg Economic Advisement Council Created
The UAR has created the CEAC to co-ordinate it's various projects in Coilerburg and to manage the integration of Coilerburg into the UAR's economic structures as smoothly as possible.
First up is a plan to create the world's largest cluster bomb production facility, to be staffed nearly entirely by coilerburgian orphans whose small hands and nimble fingers make for near perfect workers in the delicate business of cluster bomb assembly.
In other news, the Saddamistani Special Construcion Brigades have begun to build a huge blast resistant berm thirty feet high and forty feet thick around the site of the new Coilerburg Cluster Weapon Production Facility (CCWPF), for safety reasons...
The UAR has created the CEAC to co-ordinate it's various projects in Coilerburg and to manage the integration of Coilerburg into the UAR's economic structures as smoothly as possible.
First up is a plan to create the world's largest cluster bomb production facility, to be staffed nearly entirely by coilerburgian orphans whose small hands and nimble fingers make for near perfect workers in the delicate business of cluster bomb assembly.
In other news, the Saddamistani Special Construcion Brigades have begun to build a huge blast resistant berm thirty feet high and forty feet thick around the site of the new Coilerburg Cluster Weapon Production Facility (CCWPF), for safety reasons...
"If scientists and inventors who develop disease cures and useful technologies don't get lifetime royalties, I'd like to know what fucking rationale you have for some guy getting lifetime royalties for writing an episode of Full House." - Mike Wong
"The present air situation in the Pacific is entirely the result of fighting a fifth rate air power." - U.S. Navy Memo - 24 July 1944
"The present air situation in the Pacific is entirely the result of fighting a fifth rate air power." - U.S. Navy Memo - 24 July 1944
-
Shroom Man 777
- FUCKING DICK-STABBER!
- Posts: 21222
- Joined: 2003-05-11 08:39am
- Location: Bleeding breasts and stabbing dicks since 2003
- Contact:
The Mushroom Military Messenger
ATOMIC ACQUISITIONS
The new logo of the MushMil.
The MusMil has announced that they will be using the majority of this year's defense budget to procure air defense systems - including THAAD and THEL batteries - from domestic defense contractors, like MacMillan and Schrom, as well as foreign companies from the FUN, the MESS, and even the Incorporated Republic of Tonkin.
MacMillan is currently working with Canissian corporations to produce Shroomania's own indigenous version of the THEL, while the Stonehenge ballistics research facility has successfully tested the multi-layered Peacetime Air Defense (PAD) system and has already sold several units to the military.
The Peacetime Air Defense system uses a Mach 5 capable surface-to-air missiles based on the design of surface-to-surface ballistic missiles capable of carrying tactical nuclear warheads. The Stonehenge is also researching on missiles capable of targetting nimbler aircraft.
The Mushroom Military is also looking to procuring the Red Technocracy's hypersonic cruise missiles and, should the budget allow for it, maybe even supersonic bombers such as the Tu-160 Blackjack.
ATOMIC ACQUISITIONS
The new logo of the MushMil.
The MusMil has announced that they will be using the majority of this year's defense budget to procure air defense systems - including THAAD and THEL batteries - from domestic defense contractors, like MacMillan and Schrom, as well as foreign companies from the FUN, the MESS, and even the Incorporated Republic of Tonkin.
MacMillan is currently working with Canissian corporations to produce Shroomania's own indigenous version of the THEL, while the Stonehenge ballistics research facility has successfully tested the multi-layered Peacetime Air Defense (PAD) system and has already sold several units to the military.
The Peacetime Air Defense system uses a Mach 5 capable surface-to-air missiles based on the design of surface-to-surface ballistic missiles capable of carrying tactical nuclear warheads. The Stonehenge is also researching on missiles capable of targetting nimbler aircraft.
The Mushroom Military is also looking to procuring the Red Technocracy's hypersonic cruise missiles and, should the budget allow for it, maybe even supersonic bombers such as the Tu-160 Blackjack.
"DO YOU WORSHIP HOMOSEXUALS?" - Curtis Saxton (source)shroom is a lovely boy and i wont hear a bad word against him - LUSY-CHAN!
Shit! Man, I didn't think of that! It took Shroom to properly interpret the screams of dying people
- PeZookShroom, I read out the stuff you write about us. You are an endless supply of morale down here. :p - an OWS street medic
Pink Sugar Heart Attack!
-
MKSheppard
- Ruthless Genocidal Warmonger
- Posts: 29842
- Joined: 2002-07-06 06:34pm
First Fast Blockade Evader Commerce Ship Carries out Sea Trials!
The 1st Fast Nuclear Commerce Ship (FNCS) AKN-1, a joint venture between Shepnukistan and Saddamistan, has set out on it's sea trials!
The top speed of the FNCS is a closely held state secret; but preliminary investigations show that it exceeded 33 knots during early trials.
AKN-2 through AKN-12 are estimated to commission by the end of 2012.
By 2014, the full 41 ship production run will be complete.
The 1st Fast Nuclear Commerce Ship (FNCS) AKN-1, a joint venture between Shepnukistan and Saddamistan, has set out on it's sea trials!
The top speed of the FNCS is a closely held state secret; but preliminary investigations show that it exceeded 33 knots during early trials.
AKN-2 through AKN-12 are estimated to commission by the end of 2012.
By 2014, the full 41 ship production run will be complete.
"If scientists and inventors who develop disease cures and useful technologies don't get lifetime royalties, I'd like to know what fucking rationale you have for some guy getting lifetime royalties for writing an episode of Full House." - Mike Wong
"The present air situation in the Pacific is entirely the result of fighting a fifth rate air power." - U.S. Navy Memo - 24 July 1944
"The present air situation in the Pacific is entirely the result of fighting a fifth rate air power." - U.S. Navy Memo - 24 July 1944
-
MKSheppard
- Ruthless Genocidal Warmonger
- Posts: 29842
- Joined: 2002-07-06 06:34pm
MESS Radar Outpost 2341F
"Looks like we got another experimental plane coming up over at the neverhoodian testing range over in Shepnukistan...holy shit, what the hell, this thing is doing Mach four at 100 thousand!"
---------------
X-56: Research aircraft into Mach 4 flight. Powered by two YTR-1 Turboramjets. Capable of zoom climb to 2,200 MPH at 140,000 feet. Sustained speed 2,700 MPH at 100,000 feet.
Program Status: FLIGHT PROGRAM UNDERWAY
"Looks like we got another experimental plane coming up over at the neverhoodian testing range over in Shepnukistan...holy shit, what the hell, this thing is doing Mach four at 100 thousand!"
---------------
X-56: Research aircraft into Mach 4 flight. Powered by two YTR-1 Turboramjets. Capable of zoom climb to 2,200 MPH at 140,000 feet. Sustained speed 2,700 MPH at 100,000 feet.
Program Status: FLIGHT PROGRAM UNDERWAY
"If scientists and inventors who develop disease cures and useful technologies don't get lifetime royalties, I'd like to know what fucking rationale you have for some guy getting lifetime royalties for writing an episode of Full House." - Mike Wong
"The present air situation in the Pacific is entirely the result of fighting a fifth rate air power." - U.S. Navy Memo - 24 July 1944
"The present air situation in the Pacific is entirely the result of fighting a fifth rate air power." - U.S. Navy Memo - 24 July 1944
-
MKSheppard
- Ruthless Genocidal Warmonger
- Posts: 29842
- Joined: 2002-07-06 06:34pm
Aviation Leak, Tian Xia Bureau
Word has come out from our sources in the UAR, that Shepnukistan has begun development of a new very long ranged stand-off attack missile with a minimum range of 300 miles; and a top speed of at least Mach 4, and has been assigned the designation ZAGM-185.
Additionally, another assignment has been put to the ZAGM-186, a conceptual land attack missile with a range of at least 800 miles...
Word has come out from our sources in the UAR, that Shepnukistan has begun development of a new very long ranged stand-off attack missile with a minimum range of 300 miles; and a top speed of at least Mach 4, and has been assigned the designation ZAGM-185.
Additionally, another assignment has been put to the ZAGM-186, a conceptual land attack missile with a range of at least 800 miles...
"If scientists and inventors who develop disease cures and useful technologies don't get lifetime royalties, I'd like to know what fucking rationale you have for some guy getting lifetime royalties for writing an episode of Full House." - Mike Wong
"The present air situation in the Pacific is entirely the result of fighting a fifth rate air power." - U.S. Navy Memo - 24 July 1944
"The present air situation in the Pacific is entirely the result of fighting a fifth rate air power." - U.S. Navy Memo - 24 July 1944
-
Shroom Man 777
- FUCKING DICK-STABBER!
- Posts: 21222
- Joined: 2003-05-11 08:39am
- Location: Bleeding breasts and stabbing dicks since 2003
- Contact:
SSS Beached Bronchologist off the coast of the Lincolnian Union...
Something-something Unreal Time
They had arrived just after the Sea Surgery, and with the cleanup and emergency aid efforts already well underway in Vanaheim - the Mushroom Medical Mission shifted its attention to the Lincolnian Union.
True, the LU wasn't a FUN nation, but the Lincolnians needed help badly and they were desperately asking for assistance. With the Tidal Thoractomy and the Hydrodynamic Hysterectomy arriving, more than a third of Shroomania's hospital ship fleet was here to help.
The Shroomanian hospital fleet's other third were heading for Terra Libertia, too - to help in Maglia (though Shroomania had planned to send ships to the Sultanate beforehand, but plans had changed, obviously).
Now it was up to Lance Corporal Henriksen to transport the Lincolnian's injured and irradiated - and by gods, they had been hit harder than even the Vanaheims.
The country was celebrating the 'Georgia Gorefest', when a man named Sherman killed apparently ten million so-called 'Confederates'. The Lincolnians were reenacting this, and their Civil War Men were out shooting each other with replica weapons on fields all over the country when the radioactive dust from Zablania made landfall.
They didn't even know what hit them.
"Goddamn it," Henriksen cursed inwardly. "And what the fuck is that?"
Something huge and monstrous had arrived on the airfield.
An AN-225... from the Red Technocracy? No, it didn't bear the hammer and sickle symbolism... instead, it had a stylized AK-47 and a blood-red peace symbol emblazoned on the side of its fuselage.
"What the..."
And disembarking from the AN-225's monstrous cargo bay were countless pickup trucks ridden on by...
"BAMFs!" Henriksen cried out. BAMFs from New Gottland, BAMFs with metric tons of near-expired medical supplies and Fish Biscuits!
"We're all saved!" cried a Civil War reenactor whose teeth were falling out.
"Hooray!" cried George Washington.
Something-something Unreal Time
They had arrived just after the Sea Surgery, and with the cleanup and emergency aid efforts already well underway in Vanaheim - the Mushroom Medical Mission shifted its attention to the Lincolnian Union.
True, the LU wasn't a FUN nation, but the Lincolnians needed help badly and they were desperately asking for assistance. With the Tidal Thoractomy and the Hydrodynamic Hysterectomy arriving, more than a third of Shroomania's hospital ship fleet was here to help.
The Shroomanian hospital fleet's other third were heading for Terra Libertia, too - to help in Maglia (though Shroomania had planned to send ships to the Sultanate beforehand, but plans had changed, obviously).
Now it was up to Lance Corporal Henriksen to transport the Lincolnian's injured and irradiated - and by gods, they had been hit harder than even the Vanaheims.
The country was celebrating the 'Georgia Gorefest', when a man named Sherman killed apparently ten million so-called 'Confederates'. The Lincolnians were reenacting this, and their Civil War Men were out shooting each other with replica weapons on fields all over the country when the radioactive dust from Zablania made landfall.
They didn't even know what hit them.
"Goddamn it," Henriksen cursed inwardly. "And what the fuck is that?"
Something huge and monstrous had arrived on the airfield.
An AN-225... from the Red Technocracy? No, it didn't bear the hammer and sickle symbolism... instead, it had a stylized AK-47 and a blood-red peace symbol emblazoned on the side of its fuselage.
"What the..."
And disembarking from the AN-225's monstrous cargo bay were countless pickup trucks ridden on by...
"BAMFs!" Henriksen cried out. BAMFs from New Gottland, BAMFs with metric tons of near-expired medical supplies and Fish Biscuits!
"We're all saved!" cried a Civil War reenactor whose teeth were falling out.
"Hooray!" cried George Washington.
"DO YOU WORSHIP HOMOSEXUALS?" - Curtis Saxton (source)shroom is a lovely boy and i wont hear a bad word against him - LUSY-CHAN!
Shit! Man, I didn't think of that! It took Shroom to properly interpret the screams of dying people
- PeZookShroom, I read out the stuff you write about us. You are an endless supply of morale down here. :p - an OWS street medic
Pink Sugar Heart Attack!
-
Shroom Man 777
- FUCKING DICK-STABBER!
- Posts: 21222
- Joined: 2003-05-11 08:39am
- Location: Bleeding breasts and stabbing dicks since 2003
- Contact:
The Sovereign Shroomanian Sentinel
FREE FAP
The Sovereign Shroomanian Sentinel is keen on entering negotiations with the other news providers of the Fungal Union of Nations, negotiations aimed at creating what would be the world's largest news network.
The Fungal Associated Press - FAP - would be a cooperative owned by its contributing newspapers, radio and television stations in the FUN, which both contribute stories to the AP and use material written by its staffers. The FAP would also grant its constituent companies access to assets like live on ShroomSat/StratTV broadcasts.
Among the Fungal news agencies planned to be in the FAP are:
- The Sovereign Shroomanian Sentinel (Shroomania)
- The Shroomanian Scientific Society (Shroomania)
- The Mushroom Military Messenger (Shroomania)
- Pravda (Red Technocracy)
- Astoria Evening News (PeZookia)
- Astoria Daily Rag (PeZookia)
- The New Military Journal (PeZookia)
- Shady News (Shadow Empire)
- News Briefs From the Qudlivun Free State (Qudlivun)
- The FASTA Bulletin (PeZookia, RT, Shroomania)
- The Ashford Times (Langley)
- MINERVA (Zoria)
Other FUN news agencies may inquire as to entering the FAP, as the negotiations have yet to begin.
FREE FAP
The Sovereign Shroomanian Sentinel is keen on entering negotiations with the other news providers of the Fungal Union of Nations, negotiations aimed at creating what would be the world's largest news network.
The Fungal Associated Press - FAP - would be a cooperative owned by its contributing newspapers, radio and television stations in the FUN, which both contribute stories to the AP and use material written by its staffers. The FAP would also grant its constituent companies access to assets like live on ShroomSat/StratTV broadcasts.
Among the Fungal news agencies planned to be in the FAP are:
- The Sovereign Shroomanian Sentinel (Shroomania)
- The Shroomanian Scientific Society (Shroomania)
- The Mushroom Military Messenger (Shroomania)
- Pravda (Red Technocracy)
- Astoria Evening News (PeZookia)
- Astoria Daily Rag (PeZookia)
- The New Military Journal (PeZookia)
- Shady News (Shadow Empire)
- News Briefs From the Qudlivun Free State (Qudlivun)
- The FASTA Bulletin (PeZookia, RT, Shroomania)
- The Ashford Times (Langley)
- MINERVA (Zoria)
Other FUN news agencies may inquire as to entering the FAP, as the negotiations have yet to begin.
Last edited by Shroom Man 777 on 2008-07-07 09:47am, edited 1 time in total.
"DO YOU WORSHIP HOMOSEXUALS?" - Curtis Saxton (source)shroom is a lovely boy and i wont hear a bad word against him - LUSY-CHAN!
Shit! Man, I didn't think of that! It took Shroom to properly interpret the screams of dying people
- PeZookShroom, I read out the stuff you write about us. You are an endless supply of morale down here. :p - an OWS street medic
Pink Sugar Heart Attack!
Coilerburg
This was quickly becoming a very danegrous environment to operate in ; The UAR counterintelligence services were pretty much running the country now, and being an illegal officer required the utmost skill and dedication to the service.
Robert Zasadzki, now known as Gene Blowhard, a Coilerburgian store owner, was careful by nature. A good observer, plain of sight and with a talent for languages, he was a natural choice for infiltration into Coilerburg after establishment of the PeZookian embassy. His job was frustrating, though: the UAR was anal about security, and since the defection of that Fedayeen major, they didn't let anyone out of their secure living compounds, and everyone who worked there was under constant surveillance.
This is why Zasadzki has turned toward a different target - much more difficult to recruit, but with far juicier results.
The counter-intelligence officers themselves.
Many of them enjoyed much power in the UAR, far more than they could ever have in any other alliance. It was so much in fact that sometimes, they were far more fanatical than brainwashed religious lunatics, upholding the system with all their might - because with the system gone, all their priviledges would be gone, too. And the citizenry hated them, of course, which made those kinds of people totally dependent on the security apparatus they were a part of.
But even those men and women had their weaknesses. Some were just plain greedy ; Others were tired of the crushing drudgery of everyday life in the UAR, where you had to fight with all your might day-to-day just to stay alive and under the radar. Some fell in love, others just wanted to live in peace and not be hated by everybody anymore. Some feared for their careers, under constant threat of others, more ruthless than them. An failure in the UARs security services meant death, of course.
And all of them came to the little grocery store near the Ministry Of The Interior, where this sympathetic man Blowhard would listen to them, and nod and cheer them up. And after hours, he would slowly build a list.
This was quickly becoming a very danegrous environment to operate in ; The UAR counterintelligence services were pretty much running the country now, and being an illegal officer required the utmost skill and dedication to the service.
Robert Zasadzki, now known as Gene Blowhard, a Coilerburgian store owner, was careful by nature. A good observer, plain of sight and with a talent for languages, he was a natural choice for infiltration into Coilerburg after establishment of the PeZookian embassy. His job was frustrating, though: the UAR was anal about security, and since the defection of that Fedayeen major, they didn't let anyone out of their secure living compounds, and everyone who worked there was under constant surveillance.
This is why Zasadzki has turned toward a different target - much more difficult to recruit, but with far juicier results.
The counter-intelligence officers themselves.
Many of them enjoyed much power in the UAR, far more than they could ever have in any other alliance. It was so much in fact that sometimes, they were far more fanatical than brainwashed religious lunatics, upholding the system with all their might - because with the system gone, all their priviledges would be gone, too. And the citizenry hated them, of course, which made those kinds of people totally dependent on the security apparatus they were a part of.
But even those men and women had their weaknesses. Some were just plain greedy ; Others were tired of the crushing drudgery of everyday life in the UAR, where you had to fight with all your might day-to-day just to stay alive and under the radar. Some fell in love, others just wanted to live in peace and not be hated by everybody anymore. Some feared for their careers, under constant threat of others, more ruthless than them. An failure in the UARs security services meant death, of course.
And all of them came to the little grocery store near the Ministry Of The Interior, where this sympathetic man Blowhard would listen to them, and nod and cheer them up. And after hours, he would slowly build a list.
It suddenly struck me that that tiny pea, pretty and blue, was the Earth. I put up my thumb and shut one eye, and my thumb blotted out the planet Earth. I didn't feel like a giant. I felt very, very small.
- NEIL ARMSTRONG, MISSION COMMANDER, APOLLO 11
Signature dedicated to the greatest achievement of mankind.
MILDLY DERANGED PHYSICIST does not mind BREAKING the SOUND BARRIER, because it is INSURED. - Simon_Jester considering the problems of hypersonic flight for Team L.A.M.E.
-
Shroom Man 777
- FUCKING DICK-STABBER!
- Posts: 21222
- Joined: 2003-05-11 08:39am
- Location: Bleeding breasts and stabbing dicks since 2003
- Contact:
Coilerburg
Tourff Risto had a hangover - and so he staggered into Blowhard's Boutique. It wasn't much of a place, back then it sold a lot of fancy everythings - Fish Biscuits from Gottland, fashionable Mugatu-branded clothing from Shroomania, even Beluga caviar from the Red Technocracy.
But ever since the bullshit of the "Great Mobilization", Blowhard's Boutique - like Coilers everywhere - had suffered financially. Now all Blowhard's Boutique sold was milk, Super Saddam Special Baby Milk with fortified vitamins and minerals - especially good for the orphans who were now conscripted into bomb factories.
Well, Blowhard didn't have just milk. He had chips, and surplus MREs from Saddamistan (it didn't have any porkchop though, since the Saddamistanis were good Muslims). It also had razor blades.
Razor blades were now a prized commodity in Coilerburg - with all the industry tooling up for all-out war production, they couldn't spare the steel for shavers. So now most Coilers were ragged and bearded and moustachioed, forced to use scissors to trim and cut their facial furs.
The Saddamistanis, with their long beards, didn't seem to mind that. Neither did the Shepnukistanis, with their gay handlebar moustaches.
Still, razor blades - a precious commodity for any good old Coilerburgian who wanted to shave, or slit his (or her) wrists in his bathtub.
Blowhard's Boutique wasn't all out though. That was why government guys from the Ministry of the Interior went to the glorified grocery store. Gene Blowhard still had a cache of fancy stuff like Red Beluga caviar, and Shroomanian lace lingerie, chocolate truffles, and even fine Byzantine wine.
It was all legal, of course. But it was goddamn expensive and soon, Gene would be out of that stuff. When that happened, those Coilerburgians used to the luxurious lifestyles of the past would slowly go insane - if they weren't already. No razor blades to shave their pubes, and no Byzantine wine.
Tough shit.
Tourff Risto was an unassuming ragged form - he too was out of razor blades. He staggered in and greeted Gene Blowhard with a wink.
"What'll it be for today, mang?" Blowhard asked.
"Some milk..." Risto replied. "For the hangover. Make sure it's got calcium. Goddamn my head huts."
On the other side of the store's interior were a bunch of tables where patrons could consume their purchases immediately. A bunch of Coilers were enjoying some ice cream, and were complaining at the goddamned state of their country.
"Tough shit," Risto muttered.
"Here you are, sir," Blowhard came back, with a milk carton in a plastic bag. "Nine ninety five."
"Nine ninety five?"
"Yeah, even milk prices are getting higher. Most of this milk is bound for Saddamistan, actually. Coilerburg barely gets any."
"Goddamn," Risto searched his pockets. "Hey mang, are you cool with IOUs?"
"Eh, it's okay."
They heard the sound of distant thunder - but it wasn't distant thunder. The far-away explosions were the sound of cluster bombs exploding and killing countless orphans.
"Goddamn orphans," cursed one of the Coilers.
"But at least we have it better than those goddamn Shepnukistanis," said another.
"Whores whores whores whores," replied the cursing Coiler.
Tourff Risto had a hangover - and so he staggered into Blowhard's Boutique. It wasn't much of a place, back then it sold a lot of fancy everythings - Fish Biscuits from Gottland, fashionable Mugatu-branded clothing from Shroomania, even Beluga caviar from the Red Technocracy.
But ever since the bullshit of the "Great Mobilization", Blowhard's Boutique - like Coilers everywhere - had suffered financially. Now all Blowhard's Boutique sold was milk, Super Saddam Special Baby Milk with fortified vitamins and minerals - especially good for the orphans who were now conscripted into bomb factories.
Well, Blowhard didn't have just milk. He had chips, and surplus MREs from Saddamistan (it didn't have any porkchop though, since the Saddamistanis were good Muslims). It also had razor blades.
Razor blades were now a prized commodity in Coilerburg - with all the industry tooling up for all-out war production, they couldn't spare the steel for shavers. So now most Coilers were ragged and bearded and moustachioed, forced to use scissors to trim and cut their facial furs.
The Saddamistanis, with their long beards, didn't seem to mind that. Neither did the Shepnukistanis, with their gay handlebar moustaches.
Still, razor blades - a precious commodity for any good old Coilerburgian who wanted to shave, or slit his (or her) wrists in his bathtub.
Blowhard's Boutique wasn't all out though. That was why government guys from the Ministry of the Interior went to the glorified grocery store. Gene Blowhard still had a cache of fancy stuff like Red Beluga caviar, and Shroomanian lace lingerie, chocolate truffles, and even fine Byzantine wine.
It was all legal, of course. But it was goddamn expensive and soon, Gene would be out of that stuff. When that happened, those Coilerburgians used to the luxurious lifestyles of the past would slowly go insane - if they weren't already. No razor blades to shave their pubes, and no Byzantine wine.
Tough shit.
Tourff Risto was an unassuming ragged form - he too was out of razor blades. He staggered in and greeted Gene Blowhard with a wink.
"What'll it be for today, mang?" Blowhard asked.
"Some milk..." Risto replied. "For the hangover. Make sure it's got calcium. Goddamn my head huts."
On the other side of the store's interior were a bunch of tables where patrons could consume their purchases immediately. A bunch of Coilers were enjoying some ice cream, and were complaining at the goddamned state of their country.
"Tough shit," Risto muttered.
"Here you are, sir," Blowhard came back, with a milk carton in a plastic bag. "Nine ninety five."
"Nine ninety five?"
"Yeah, even milk prices are getting higher. Most of this milk is bound for Saddamistan, actually. Coilerburg barely gets any."
"Goddamn," Risto searched his pockets. "Hey mang, are you cool with IOUs?"
"Eh, it's okay."
They heard the sound of distant thunder - but it wasn't distant thunder. The far-away explosions were the sound of cluster bombs exploding and killing countless orphans.
"Goddamn orphans," cursed one of the Coilers.
"But at least we have it better than those goddamn Shepnukistanis," said another.
"Whores whores whores whores," replied the cursing Coiler.
"DO YOU WORSHIP HOMOSEXUALS?" - Curtis Saxton (source)shroom is a lovely boy and i wont hear a bad word against him - LUSY-CHAN!
Shit! Man, I didn't think of that! It took Shroom to properly interpret the screams of dying people
- PeZookShroom, I read out the stuff you write about us. You are an endless supply of morale down here. :p - an OWS street medic
Pink Sugar Heart Attack!
-
Shroom Man 777
- FUCKING DICK-STABBER!
- Posts: 21222
- Joined: 2003-05-11 08:39am
- Location: Bleeding breasts and stabbing dicks since 2003
- Contact:
LIVE on ShroomSat/StratTV
In a world gone mad, only one man had the courage to cover himself in bees...
These are his stories...
A JAMES CAMERON film
HIVEMASTER
MACMILLAN MEDIA PICTURES PRESENT IN ASSOCIATION WITH BEAR BRAND PICTURES A JAMES CAMERON PRODUCTION MICHAEL CHIKLIS PARIS HILTON DONNIE WAHLBERG MORGAN FREEMAN JOE DON BAKER MUSIC BY HARRY GREGSON WILLIAMS EDITED BY LEE HAXALL
SPECIAL EFFECTS BY WETA WORKSHOP WRITTEN BY HIDEAKI ANNO
THE PAIN BEGINS 12.12.12
In a world gone mad, only one man had the courage to cover himself in bees...
These are his stories...
A JAMES CAMERON film
HIVEMASTER
MACMILLAN MEDIA PICTURES PRESENT IN ASSOCIATION WITH BEAR BRAND PICTURES A JAMES CAMERON PRODUCTION MICHAEL CHIKLIS PARIS HILTON DONNIE WAHLBERG MORGAN FREEMAN JOE DON BAKER MUSIC BY HARRY GREGSON WILLIAMS EDITED BY LEE HAXALL
SPECIAL EFFECTS BY WETA WORKSHOP WRITTEN BY HIDEAKI ANNO
THE PAIN BEGINS 12.12.12
"DO YOU WORSHIP HOMOSEXUALS?" - Curtis Saxton (source)shroom is a lovely boy and i wont hear a bad word against him - LUSY-CHAN!
Shit! Man, I didn't think of that! It took Shroom to properly interpret the screams of dying people
- PeZookShroom, I read out the stuff you write about us. You are an endless supply of morale down here. :p - an OWS street medic
Pink Sugar Heart Attack!
-
Shroom Man 777
- FUCKING DICK-STABBER!
- Posts: 21222
- Joined: 2003-05-11 08:39am
- Location: Bleeding breasts and stabbing dicks since 2003
- Contact:
Temple Prime - Sarajevo, Shadow Empire
Something-something Unreal Time...
Prime Minister Shroom decided to discretely attend the festivities and celebrations of Shady's latest and greatest erection.
Right now, the Oracle of Delphi was performing a ritualistic dance to foresee their futures. That sight - and the courtesans with jewel-encrusted nipple rings of gold, and other such spectacles - made everything pretty swell.
"WHORES WHORES WHORES!" someone proclaimed. Shroom thought it was Republic of Nukistan's President Garner, but he didn't have anytime to see as -
Trumpets were blown by deformed hunchbacks, thus announcing Emperor Shady's arrival.
Everyone gasped at this incredible sight. Shroom cursed silently.
"BEHOLD!" Shady declared.
"Oh god..." Shroom cursed. This whole exchange of culture and ideals had apparently driven the Shadows nuts, no thanks to Shroomanian nuttery.
"EMBRACE ME! AS YOUR KING AND AS YOUR GOD!" the God-Emperor proclaimed further.
"Nah, just kidding."
Beside that nine-foot gold-encrusted giant of a Xerxes emerged the real God-Emperor Shady, who was perfectly normal and not some kind of deformagrotesquetified golden Persian with a bejeweled codpiece of some sort.
The hunchbacks once more trumpeted his arrival.
"Hello everyone!" Shady waved as his nine foot-tall Xerxes went off to get a drink. "I hope you're enjoying the party!"
Something-something Unreal Time...
Prime Minister Shroom decided to discretely attend the festivities and celebrations of Shady's latest and greatest erection.
Right now, the Oracle of Delphi was performing a ritualistic dance to foresee their futures. That sight - and the courtesans with jewel-encrusted nipple rings of gold, and other such spectacles - made everything pretty swell.
"WHORES WHORES WHORES!" someone proclaimed. Shroom thought it was Republic of Nukistan's President Garner, but he didn't have anytime to see as -
Trumpets were blown by deformed hunchbacks, thus announcing Emperor Shady's arrival.
Everyone gasped at this incredible sight. Shroom cursed silently.
"BEHOLD!" Shady declared.
"Oh god..." Shroom cursed. This whole exchange of culture and ideals had apparently driven the Shadows nuts, no thanks to Shroomanian nuttery.
"EMBRACE ME! AS YOUR KING AND AS YOUR GOD!" the God-Emperor proclaimed further.
"Nah, just kidding."
Beside that nine-foot gold-encrusted giant of a Xerxes emerged the real God-Emperor Shady, who was perfectly normal and not some kind of deformagrotesquetified golden Persian with a bejeweled codpiece of some sort.
The hunchbacks once more trumpeted his arrival.
"Hello everyone!" Shady waved as his nine foot-tall Xerxes went off to get a drink. "I hope you're enjoying the party!"
"DO YOU WORSHIP HOMOSEXUALS?" - Curtis Saxton (source)shroom is a lovely boy and i wont hear a bad word against him - LUSY-CHAN!
Shit! Man, I didn't think of that! It took Shroom to properly interpret the screams of dying people
- PeZookShroom, I read out the stuff you write about us. You are an endless supply of morale down here. :p - an OWS street medic
Pink Sugar Heart Attack!
"Yeah...", Paul gave his wife a knowing look, "I wanted to caution you about mega-lo-mania getting to your head, but I think it's a bit too late for that."
Paul really only stopped over because his PR advisor convinced him it would be good for internal relations within the FUN. It's not like Shady was hiding anything - it was supposed to be a party about beer and hookers from the get go.
Paul would have to remember to fire his PR advisor when he got back to Astoria.
"While we are at it, Shroom, I've been told there is a slight problem with a Shroomanian FASTA astronaut....", Paul proceeded to explain the problem Miranda Moonbeam had with using 'Earth polluting' synthetic space suits, while trying to ignore the half-naked waitresses.
Paul really only stopped over because his PR advisor convinced him it would be good for internal relations within the FUN. It's not like Shady was hiding anything - it was supposed to be a party about beer and hookers from the get go.
Paul would have to remember to fire his PR advisor when he got back to Astoria.
"While we are at it, Shroom, I've been told there is a slight problem with a Shroomanian FASTA astronaut....", Paul proceeded to explain the problem Miranda Moonbeam had with using 'Earth polluting' synthetic space suits, while trying to ignore the half-naked waitresses.
It suddenly struck me that that tiny pea, pretty and blue, was the Earth. I put up my thumb and shut one eye, and my thumb blotted out the planet Earth. I didn't feel like a giant. I felt very, very small.
- NEIL ARMSTRONG, MISSION COMMANDER, APOLLO 11
Signature dedicated to the greatest achievement of mankind.
MILDLY DERANGED PHYSICIST does not mind BREAKING the SOUND BARRIER, because it is INSURED. - Simon_Jester considering the problems of hypersonic flight for Team L.A.M.E.
-
Shroom Man 777
- FUCKING DICK-STABBER!
- Posts: 21222
- Joined: 2003-05-11 08:39am
- Location: Bleeding breasts and stabbing dicks since 2003
- Contact:
Temple Prime - Sarajevo, Shadow Empire
Something-something Unreal Time...
"Eh, get her using some space suit made out of recycled materials then..." Shroom said as he got a glass of Shadow champagne served from a platter on the back of a hunchback. "Maybe, like, a spacesuit using the reused materials from the suit that space monkey wore... that monkey... what was her name? The monkey... Ivan? No, he exploded. Oh right, Chim Chim, yeah."
He was getting distracted by the dancing Oracle of Delphi... until she collapsed to the ground in orgasmic ecstasy and was immediately set upon by the Ephors - leprous old men who were apparently important in the Shadow's religious hierarchy.
"Honor the god!" the Ephors proclaimed. "Honor the Karnea!"
"Ew," Shroom flinched visibly at the icky sight.
"Relax," Shady - who was normal, yet nonetheless clad in ritualistic robes - said as he passed by. "It's just latex makeup! Like Halloween... or Kwanzaa!"
"Anyway..." Shroom said, barely reassured. "Miranda Moonbeam was handpicked by the Paleopacifist Party in Shroomania... and well, since the FASTA is one of the biggest things in all of the FUN, almost as big as the whole 'nuclear annihilation scare', I got to make concessions to make them happy hippies."
Paul raised an eyebrow.
"Concessions and deals? That's so unlike you, Prime Minister," Paul's wife, Agatha, observed with a playfully mocking tone.
"Yeah... I know, but these days times are tough," Shroom conceded. "I hate to say it, but I have to face certain realities. Plus, Miranda is the daughter of a prominent Paleopacifistic MP and if I appeal to him - then he might feel good about it and let some of our more militant and RetroRegressive policies slide. Like the Runaway Defense Budget."
"Then I guess we'll have to get Miranda a tailor-made space suit then," Paul nodded, and then smiled. "Made out of a chimpanzee's pre-owned outfit."
"Heh," Shroom laughed as one of the hunchbacks - Ephialtes, if he remembered correctly - was being seduced by the various courtesans of Emperor Shady. "Besides, what could possibly go wrong?"
Something-something Unreal Time...
"Eh, get her using some space suit made out of recycled materials then..." Shroom said as he got a glass of Shadow champagne served from a platter on the back of a hunchback. "Maybe, like, a spacesuit using the reused materials from the suit that space monkey wore... that monkey... what was her name? The monkey... Ivan? No, he exploded. Oh right, Chim Chim, yeah."
He was getting distracted by the dancing Oracle of Delphi... until she collapsed to the ground in orgasmic ecstasy and was immediately set upon by the Ephors - leprous old men who were apparently important in the Shadow's religious hierarchy.
"Honor the god!" the Ephors proclaimed. "Honor the Karnea!"
"Ew," Shroom flinched visibly at the icky sight.
"Relax," Shady - who was normal, yet nonetheless clad in ritualistic robes - said as he passed by. "It's just latex makeup! Like Halloween... or Kwanzaa!"
"Anyway..." Shroom said, barely reassured. "Miranda Moonbeam was handpicked by the Paleopacifist Party in Shroomania... and well, since the FASTA is one of the biggest things in all of the FUN, almost as big as the whole 'nuclear annihilation scare', I got to make concessions to make them happy hippies."
Paul raised an eyebrow.
"Concessions and deals? That's so unlike you, Prime Minister," Paul's wife, Agatha, observed with a playfully mocking tone.
"Yeah... I know, but these days times are tough," Shroom conceded. "I hate to say it, but I have to face certain realities. Plus, Miranda is the daughter of a prominent Paleopacifistic MP and if I appeal to him - then he might feel good about it and let some of our more militant and RetroRegressive policies slide. Like the Runaway Defense Budget."
"Then I guess we'll have to get Miranda a tailor-made space suit then," Paul nodded, and then smiled. "Made out of a chimpanzee's pre-owned outfit."
"Heh," Shroom laughed as one of the hunchbacks - Ephialtes, if he remembered correctly - was being seduced by the various courtesans of Emperor Shady. "Besides, what could possibly go wrong?"
"DO YOU WORSHIP HOMOSEXUALS?" - Curtis Saxton (source)shroom is a lovely boy and i wont hear a bad word against him - LUSY-CHAN!
Shit! Man, I didn't think of that! It took Shroom to properly interpret the screams of dying people
- PeZookShroom, I read out the stuff you write about us. You are an endless supply of morale down here. :p - an OWS street medic
Pink Sugar Heart Attack!
FASTA bulletin
FASTA to liaise with the FAP to allow reprinting of stories
In the interest of international co-operation, the FASTA has decided to provide the FAP with Bulletin articles free of charge, for reprinting in other media. It is hoped that this move will further the understanding of the manned Moon program and inspire young men everywhere to help with the conquest of space.
Selene 2 flight greenlighted
Data from Selene 1Bs Flight Data Recorder has been analysed, and no technical problems have been found with the capsule or any of the two modules. Thus, Selene program director, Dr. Filippa Zviezda, has decided that Selene 2 can go ahead without further delays.
Selene 2 is planned to be an eigh-day manned duration mission, during which the astronauts will not only test the hi-endurance life support systems and the new Lunar Utility Module of the Soyuz spacecraft, but also perform a series of important experiments relating to zero-g materials formation.
Lunar Utility Module - an overview
Representing the simple and elegant design philosophy held close to hearts by Red Technocracy engineers, the Lunar Utility Module is the Selene answer to providing the added Delta-V and endurance required for a Lunar-going spacecraft.
The module is elongated and houses high-capacity fuel, oxygen and hydrogen tanks, but is based on the same engine as the standard Soyuz capsule. This change will necessitate longer burn time during course correction maneuvers, but allows the skipping of an expensive and complicated engine testing phase.
Selene 2 flight crew
Selene 2s flight crew will consists of two astronauts ; According to tradition, the back-up crew for the last flight (Selene 1B) will be the primary crew of the current flight.
Cpt. Neil Aldrin of the Shinra Republic, and Dr. Gordon Brown of the Republic Of Canissia will fly on Selene 2.
Age: 27
Flight: Selene 2, commander
Born in Tahoma, Shinra Republic, Cpt. Aldrin was an excellent student with a passion for aerospace. Finishing high school a year ahead of the rest of his peers, he moved to Midgar and joined the Shinra Naval Air Force Academy.
Dedicated to his work, competent and attentive to detail, Cpt. Aldrin has become one of the youngest Captains in the Shinra Air Force, and volunteered to join the FASTA manned moon program as soon as he heard about the astronaut recruitment campaign.
Being one of the biggest assets of the FASTA, he was a natural choice for the first duration flight of Selene, which will require steel nerves and attentiveness he is famous for.
Age: 38
Flight: Selene 2, flight engineer
Dr. Brown is an astrophysicist and a renowned scholar concerned with the opportunities for Zero-G manufacturing. Holding a doctorate from one of the best Canissian universities, he has joined the FASTA space program in 2011 and contributed greatly to planning all flights.
He was chosen for astronaut training six months ago, after designing a series of orbital experiments. It was deemed that it would be best if he performed them himself, and thus was trained to operate the Soyuz capsule as a Flight Engineer, and paired with an experienced Shinra pilot, Neil Aldrin. Designated as a backup crewman for Selene 1B, he will now fly on Selene 2 and get a chance to try science...in space!
It suddenly struck me that that tiny pea, pretty and blue, was the Earth. I put up my thumb and shut one eye, and my thumb blotted out the planet Earth. I didn't feel like a giant. I felt very, very small.
- NEIL ARMSTRONG, MISSION COMMANDER, APOLLO 11
Signature dedicated to the greatest achievement of mankind.
MILDLY DERANGED PHYSICIST does not mind BREAKING the SOUND BARRIER, because it is INSURED. - Simon_Jester considering the problems of hypersonic flight for Team L.A.M.E.
-
Fingolfin_Noldor
- Emperor's Hand
- Posts: 11834
- Joined: 2006-05-15 10:36am
- Location: At the Helm of the HAB Star Dreadnaught Star Fist
Imperial Chronicles
The Emperor finally found time to deal with other matters, and now it was the time to deal with the Crusaders of St. John. It walked into the monastery with full Varangian Guard and his uncle the Duke of Athens was there as well. All were summoned before him and were expected to pay him homage.
"Kneel," the Emperor said and all knelt before the Emperor. The Emperor stood up and looked around at all the knights and his uncle. "Am I your Emperor and Lord?"
"Yes Majesty"
"Take out your sword and raise the hilt towards me." They all did as they were told. "Repeat after me:
I am the servant of the Empire and shall protect its people, the Church, and most of all, the Emperor of Empire and to serve the Lord God with all my heart and all my soul."
They did as they were told and all knew that they were swearing their allegiance again to the Emperor. "You two rise." The Emperor gestured to both the Duke and the Grand Master. "You both are getting a rather light punishment from me. In part because you both knew these cultists were planning something against the Empire and struck preemptively. But it was clumsy as a blunt bludgeon and the whole nonsense in the capital could have been prevented if you struck more precisely. For now I am leaving you two in charge but don't you dare do such things under my bloody nose without notifying me. For now, you will be placed under the control of the IBIA and will receive orders with my seal. Is that understood?"
"Yes.. sire."
"See that this does not happen again!"
The two bowed and waited for the Emperor to take his leave.
The Emperor finally found time to deal with other matters, and now it was the time to deal with the Crusaders of St. John. It walked into the monastery with full Varangian Guard and his uncle the Duke of Athens was there as well. All were summoned before him and were expected to pay him homage.
"Kneel," the Emperor said and all knelt before the Emperor. The Emperor stood up and looked around at all the knights and his uncle. "Am I your Emperor and Lord?"
"Yes Majesty"
"Take out your sword and raise the hilt towards me." They all did as they were told. "Repeat after me:
I am the servant of the Empire and shall protect its people, the Church, and most of all, the Emperor of Empire and to serve the Lord God with all my heart and all my soul."
They did as they were told and all knew that they were swearing their allegiance again to the Emperor. "You two rise." The Emperor gestured to both the Duke and the Grand Master. "You both are getting a rather light punishment from me. In part because you both knew these cultists were planning something against the Empire and struck preemptively. But it was clumsy as a blunt bludgeon and the whole nonsense in the capital could have been prevented if you struck more precisely. For now I am leaving you two in charge but don't you dare do such things under my bloody nose without notifying me. For now, you will be placed under the control of the IBIA and will receive orders with my seal. Is that understood?"
"Yes.. sire."
"See that this does not happen again!"
The two bowed and waited for the Emperor to take his leave.
Your spirit, diseased as it is, refuses to allow you to give up, no matter what threats you face... and whatever wreckage you leave behind you.
Kreia
Plot: Treadstone investigation
Indophal
"Damn!", Maksymilian Olgierd, FBI, said upon leaving the spickly-clean airport terminal and seeing Indophal for the first time. The place was impeccable: all the lawns were mowed, the sidewalks were clean, there was no grafitti anywhere, "How do you do that?", he asked his Indophali guide.
"Well, there are theories. The lawns are done by ProTec's Marketing Department - they are trying to incite people to come and live in Indophal to further their recruitment base. As for grafitti, I personally think it's because the young men can just join ProTec and unload their agression."
Olgierd smiled. He could already see he'd enjoy working here.
"Okay...let's start by interrogating that boy they brought here. I know he didn't say much, but it can't hurt to talk with him again.", he said, getting his mind back on the assingment.
"I agree. This way."
Indophal
"Damn!", Maksymilian Olgierd, FBI, said upon leaving the spickly-clean airport terminal and seeing Indophal for the first time. The place was impeccable: all the lawns were mowed, the sidewalks were clean, there was no grafitti anywhere, "How do you do that?", he asked his Indophali guide.
"Well, there are theories. The lawns are done by ProTec's Marketing Department - they are trying to incite people to come and live in Indophal to further their recruitment base. As for grafitti, I personally think it's because the young men can just join ProTec and unload their agression."
Olgierd smiled. He could already see he'd enjoy working here.
"Okay...let's start by interrogating that boy they brought here. I know he didn't say much, but it can't hurt to talk with him again.", he said, getting his mind back on the assingment.
"I agree. This way."
It suddenly struck me that that tiny pea, pretty and blue, was the Earth. I put up my thumb and shut one eye, and my thumb blotted out the planet Earth. I didn't feel like a giant. I felt very, very small.
- NEIL ARMSTRONG, MISSION COMMANDER, APOLLO 11
Signature dedicated to the greatest achievement of mankind.
MILDLY DERANGED PHYSICIST does not mind BREAKING the SOUND BARRIER, because it is INSURED. - Simon_Jester considering the problems of hypersonic flight for Team L.A.M.E.