Ewok holocaust addressed in Star Wars Tales

[Darwin]

Really, I find it rather amusing.

Also, little primitive humanoids able to fling rocks the size of your head are Not To Be Messed With.

http://community.livejournal.com/scans_ ... ml?#cutid1

[The Grim Squeaker]

It's old. I bought it up in passing back in the day, the problem is that the Tales of that time aren't strictly in canon, so, the theories of the Endor holocaust still hold.
Cute story though .

[Darwin]

It's old. I bought it up in passing back in the day, the problem is that the Tales of that time aren't strictly in canon, so, the theories of the Endor holocaust still hold.
Cute story though .

Sure, Tales is only canon in that it's canon that these characters are discussing wild-arsed stories in bars that may or may not have a shred of truth in em.

Yeah, I know it's old, I hadn't actually seen the comic though, so it's worth sharing based on that. What's up with the Stormtrooper armor though? Weird artistic interpretation.

And those ewoks are scary.

[DesertFly]

It's got a big leap of logic in it though.

On the third page they're able to detect the motion of the initial five Ewoks with no problem. After the first massacre, though, they seemed to completely forget that they had sensors that could see the Ewoks.

[The Grim Squeaker]

It's got a big leap of logic in it though.

On the third page they're able to detect the motion of the initial five Ewoks with no problem. After the first massacre, though, they seemed to completely forget that they had sensors that could see the Ewoks.

Depends how the Sensors worked - heat, motion tracking, the Ewoks might be hiding from it. (leaves on the, crouching low, digging, etc').

[Darth Wong]

It's got a big leap of logic in it though.

On the third page they're able to detect the motion of the initial five Ewoks with no problem. After the first massacre, though, they seemed to completely forget that they had sensors that could see the Ewoks.

They could still be confused with wildlife. If there are plenty of large raccoon-like rodents in the forest and other similar animals, they might pick them up so often that they just get annoyed and stop watching for them.

[Darth Ruinus]

"They're trying to block up our weapons! OPEN FIRE!"



There can't possibly be any hippies in the Empire.

Also, they didn't detect the Ewoks after the first time becuase after the first confrontation, they weren't fighting Ewoks, they were falling into their traps or getting taken one by one in the middle of the night and stuff.

[FTeik]

The ROTJ-novel also says something about the Imperial attitude about the Ewoks, who were thought to be cute and harmless.

[Illuminatus Primus]

God, how immature the comic people are, commissioning a whole Tales story just to include a petty shit on Saxton's page. Further, they're so incompetent, thirty billion tons? It just vaporized?

[Anguirus]

^ Meh, it was still amusing. And non-canon.

[NecronLord]

Never mind that I'm fairly sure 'it just vapourised' is dealt with on the Endor Holocaust page. The way I'd read that comic, the punk in the bar was just reciting some tawdry NR propaganda line 'everyone knows that's a myth, it just vapourised' rather than the truth.

[Hawkwings]

After reading that comic, I really wanted to see the retired stormtrooper knock that punk-ass out with a single hit, then stalk out of the bar, muttering about how much better the fights were back then.

I've always wondered what happened to all the stormtroopers after the NR took over...

[Battlehymn Republic]

God, how immature the comic people are, commissioning a whole Tales story just to include a petty shit on Saxton's page. Further, they're so incompetent, thirty billion tons? It just vaporized?

Comic people poke fun at all kinds of controversial issues. There's that story about Han shooting first. I'm sure sooner or later we're going to get one about "three million clones."

[The Grim Squeaker]

God, how immature the comic people are, commissioning a whole Tales story just to include a petty shit on Saxton's page. Further, they're so incompetent, thirty billion tons? It just vaporized?

Comic people poke fun at all kinds of controversial issues. There's that story about Han shooting first. I'm sure sooner or later we're going to get one about "three million clones."

That would be trickier, since there are no light-hearted "tales" comics anymore. The comics left are the KOTOR era ones (too early), "Dark times" (too dark, but possible, and post prequel era), and the Legacy era (too late, and questionable as to whether they have the maximalist trend for it).

Are there any figures on how long it would take to set up a planetary shield generator, or to boost an existing one to cover part of a hemisphere?

[Darth Wong]

God, how immature the comic people are, commissioning a whole Tales story just to include a petty shit on Saxton's page. Further, they're so incompetent, thirty billion tons? It just vaporized?

Unfortunately, after dealing with way too many Trekkies, it has become obvious that to a lot of really stupid and ignorant people, "vapourized" means "disappeared".

In reality, vapourized material is precisely the problem: specifically, in the asteroid impact holocaust scenario from real physics, a plume of vapourized material shoots up into space and then falls back down into the atmosphere all over the planet, condensing into liquid droplets which in turn form micro-particles in the upper atmosphere, blocking out the Sun.

Of course, I wouldn't expect the typical EU hard-liner to know that. They're as bad as Trekkies in some ways.

[The Vortex Empire]

"They're trying to block our weapons! Open Fire!"

Hehe, comedy gold.

[Scottish Ninja]

God, how immature the comic people are, commissioning a whole Tales story just to include a petty shit on Saxton's page. Further, they're so incompetent, thirty billion tons? It just vaporized?

Unfortunately, after dealing with way too many Trekkies, it has become obvious that to a lot of really stupid and ignorant people, "vapourized" means "disappeared".

In reality, vapourized material is precisely the problem: specifically, in the asteroid impact holocaust scenario from real physics, a plume of vapourized material shoots up into space and then falls back down into the atmosphere all over the planet, condensing into liquid droplets which in turn form micro-particles in the upper atmosphere, blocking out the Sun.

Of course, I wouldn't expect the typical EU hard-liner to know that. They're as bad as Trekkies in some ways.

For that matter, I don't think any of them would be smart enough to realize exactly what kind of catastrophic effects a blast powerful enough to vaporize most of the DSII would have on the Forest Moon, because of course that surely wouldn't fry the near side of Endor! Yes, that's it! It was just vaporized!

I am getting so sick of Star Wars by now. How hard can it be to come up with something both original and even semi-competently thought out? There are plenty of sci-fi writers out there who do not fail the critical test of having a clue, but very few of them end up writing for Star Wars - perhaps because they realize where the EU has gone with the masses of hacks that usually write it.

[Illuminatus Primus]

God, how immature the comic people are, commissioning a whole Tales story just to include a petty shit on Saxton's page. Further, they're so incompetent, thirty billion tons? It just vaporized?

Unfortunately, after dealing with way too many Trekkies, it has become obvious that to a lot of really stupid and ignorant people, "vapourized" means "disappeared".

In reality, vapourized material is precisely the problem: specifically, in the asteroid impact holocaust scenario from real physics, a plume of vapourized material shoots up into space and then falls back down into the atmosphere all over the planet, condensing into liquid droplets which in turn form micro-particles in the upper atmosphere, blocking out the Sun.

Of course, I wouldn't expect the typical EU hard-liner to know that. They're as bad as Trekkies in some ways.

In some ways? I wonder if they're actually the same people, or at least drawn from the same stock. Think about it, both have no conception of science, and both use lowest-common-denominator thinking. The incessant "shrink the scale" instinct of EU supremacists dovetails nicely with the overblown interpretations of the Federation and the delusions Trektard have that there is anything approaching parity between them in their heads.

[Ghost Rider]

God, how immature the comic people are, commissioning a whole Tales story just to include a petty shit on Saxton's page. Further, they're so incompetent, thirty billion tons? It just vaporized?

Unfortunately, after dealing with way too many Trekkies, it has become obvious that to a lot of really stupid and ignorant people, "vapourized" means "disappeared".

In reality, vapourized material is precisely the problem: specifically, in the asteroid impact holocaust scenario from real physics, a plume of vapourized material shoots up into space and then falls back down into the atmosphere all over the planet, condensing into liquid droplets which in turn form micro-particles in the upper atmosphere, blocking out the Sun.

Of course, I wouldn't expect the typical EU hard-liner to know that. They're as bad as Trekkies in some ways.

In some ways? I wonder if they're actually the same people, or at least drawn from the same stock. Think about it, both have no conception of science, and both use lowest-common-denominator thinking. The incessant "shrink the scale" instinct of EU supremacists dovetails nicely with the overblown interpretations of the Federation and the delusions Trektard have that there is anything approaching parity between them in their heads.

Doubtful being the same people, as for same stock? Like all retards, they tend to look the same after a while, certainly in the foaming at the mouth.

Mike did point it out and it does bear mentioning again, SW EU yaboos are people who want it shrunk because it defies their understanding...and they know they are the biggest stick on the block. They feel there is no reason for SW to be that big and instead want something that they can comprehend with ease.

ST retards inflate everything to the point they ignore their own show in light of their superior thoughts of a far vaster ST universe.

[Swindle1984]

The Empire thought the ewoks were cute and harmless non-beligerants. When they were attacked by hundreds of them without warning, it took them completely by surprise.

The harmless part probably came more from evaluating their technology than their behavior, if the attempt at eating Han, Luke, etc. is any indication.

[Darth Wong]

Well, they're harmless in the sense that bears are considered harmless even though they can easily kill and eat an unarmed human. No one worries about bears attacking an armed encampment today, but if hundreds of them somehow became as smart as humans and launched an organized attack upon 30 or 40 people, they could pose a real problem even if those people are armed. Throw in some trained human soldiers to assist them, and it could be a really big problem.

[Oskuro]

"maybe they don't show up on infra-red at all..."

That feels like an Aliens reference to me... Not to mention how the trooper is scooped up, and its mangled remains found out later.

[Darth Ruinus]

That feels like an Aliens reference to me... Not to mention how the trooper is scooped up, and its mangled remains found out later.

After I got my brother to read it, he said the exact same thing, but I wouldn't doubt it, Aliens and the colonial marines are pretty influential stuff.

[Junghalli]

Meh, I thought it was OK, it seemed fairly tongue-in-cheek to me, not really something meant to be taken too seriously.

Then again, I never liked the Endor Holocaust concept.

[CaptHawkeye]

I'm amused at some of the comments beneath that comic. Oh noes Star Wars wasn't *intended* to be a mature adventure serial. I guess since Star Wars lacks the pretension of movies like, The Matrix and other nerd favorite series, it's just a merchandise generator. YOU AREN'T ALLOWED TO ENJOY IT.