nBSG: Step into the ring! (possible spoilers)

Darth Lucifer · Post by **Darth Lucifer** » 2008-07-17 02:55am

As seen in the season 3 episode "Unfinished Business", Galactica has a boxing ring where people can beat the shit out of one another, for whatever reasons... tension release, to settle personal vendettas or just to beat the shit out of some asshole they don't like.

YOU get to throw your dog tags in the box for this hypothetical scenario. Who would you fight? And why? Also, just for fun, deceased characters are fair game to step into the ring with you.

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I'll start with that frakking stim junkie Louanne "Kat" Katraine, who I've hated since day one and hated more and more as time went on. I had hoped that she would have died a meaningless death, like she could have when she almost got nuked by Hot Dog in season 2. Too bad they didn't do that.

Adrian McNair · Post by **Adrian McNair** » 2008-07-17 05:22am

Captain Karl 'Helo' Agathon.* If there's someone who deserves to get his lights punched out on that ship, it's him. What a sanctimonious, gutless traitor. 'Conscience of the fleet' my aching arse. He's just a cipher. Not a character. A thinly veiled platform for Michael Angeli to preach his simplistic values.

Granted, I'd lose. Horribly. But the attempt would be worth it.

*Before anyone flames me over my choice, just keep in mind that this is a highly subjective thread. Call him a hero. A shining example of what humanity should be. I don't care. I have nothing but contempt for him and you won't convince me otherwise. I am entitled to my opinion and so are you.

Timotheus · Post by **Timotheus** » 2008-07-17 09:53am

Cain.

Woman or not that bitch deserves endless beats downs.

Darth Lucifer · Post by **Darth Lucifer** » 2008-07-17 12:07pm

Timotheus wrote:Cain.

Woman or not that bitch deserves endless beats downs.

Good choice! Seconded.

For the purposes of this scenario, gender is not an issue, exactly the same as in the show with its co-ed boxing and shared restrooms.

Turin · Post by **Turin** » 2008-07-17 12:32pm

Tori.
Yes, I know she's an infernal killing machine... she can beat me all she wants.

Solauren · Post by **Solauren** » 2008-07-17 12:35pm

Baltar.
First for letting a uncleared civilian into the network defenses for the colonies.
Second for giving a cylon colaboration group a nuclear weapon.
Third for getting the fleet to settle on a planet they couldn't defend, after said Cylon groups resident Cylon blew herself up with it. There was a real risk she'd resurrect and be able to tell the Cylons where they were, 'going to ignore you' offer or not.
Fourth for his religious crap.

Megabot · Post by **Megabot** » 2008-07-17 12:38pm

Darth Lucifer wrote:
Timotheus wrote:Cain.

Woman or not that bitch deserves endless beats downs.
Good choice! Seconded.

For the purposes of this scenario, gender is not an issue, exactly the same as in the show with its co-ed boxing and shared restrooms.

And sports teams apparently. If pyramid was a real (co-ed) pro sport I wonder how gender divided its teams would be compared to what was seen on nBSG.

On topic, in the order of preference, Cain, Baltar, and Starbuck (Though I would do a piss-poor job at it). I also don't get why anyone would consider gender an issue at all in the case of anyone evil/sociopathic enough to warrant a beating.

Maxentius · Post by **Maxentius** » 2008-07-17 12:53pm

Boomer.

I'd just make sure to inject plenty of sexual tension into the fight. Then when we get out of the ring, well. That's a different story.

Solauren · Post by **Solauren** » 2008-07-17 03:30pm

Dude, Boomer is a Cylon.

And she knows it.

She's wipe the floor with you in 3 or 4 shots at most, before you even landed a blow that was more then annoying to her.

Besides, she seems to like older men now

Anguirus · Post by **Anguirus** » 2008-07-17 04:21pm

I second Boomer, Tory, and D'Anna, all of whom have devolved into real bitches (well, D'Anna always was one). Also, Colonel Fiske and Major Shaw for being murderers.

Anguirus · Post by **Anguirus** » 2008-07-17 04:22pm

Oh, and add Athena for shooting Natalie over an hallucination.

Themightytom · Post by **Themightytom** » 2008-07-17 04:33pm

Anguirus wrote:Oh, and add Athena for shooting Natalie over an hallucination.

So I'm the only one who thinks callie needs a bitch slap?

I'd fight Adama because he's a tough motherfucker and it would be awesome.

I'd probably fight brother cavil too, sure he has super strength but no one can shrug off an Eagle claw to the nuts (Is kung Fu allowed in a boxing ring?)

Starbuck is annoying as hell but i blame that on katie Sackhoff being annoying as hell, not the character.

Anguirus · Post by **Anguirus** » 2008-07-17 07:35pm

^ I very much doubt it, however, I think her spacing is more than sufficient penance for her sins of annoyance. Same with Crashdown and his murder.

Stargate Nerd · Post by **Stargate Nerd** » 2008-07-18 11:32am

Anders for shooting Gaeda the only worthwhile member of the New Caprica resistance who was actually human.

Sarevok · Post by **Sarevok** » 2008-07-18 04:55pm

Helo. Thousands more would been alive if that bastard had not destroyed humanity's sole hope of defeating the Cylons.

Anguirus · Post by **Anguirus** » 2008-07-18 09:48pm

Helo. Thousands more would been alive if that bastard had not destroyed humanity's sole hope of defeating the Cylons.

But millions, possibly billions of Cylons would be dead, and one of the central premises of the show seems to be "they are people too."

Which isn't to say I didn't want to throttle Helo a bit...but I can understand his point of view as well. The 1940s-era Germans are certainly responsible for the Holocaust, but that wouldn't justify using a magic bioweapon to slaughter them all, IMO.