Child brides in Yemen still common

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DPDarkPrimus
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Child brides in Yemen still common

Post by DPDarkPrimus »

Editor's note: CNN does not usually identify children of alleged abuse, but in this case the girl and her family gave CNN permission to tell her story and use her name.

SANAA, Yemen (CNN) -- Nujood Ali is 10 years old, but she already has been married and divorced. It was an arranged marriage in which she said a husband three times her age routinely beat and raped her.

"When I got married, I was afraid. I didn't want to leave home. I wanted to stay with my brothers and sisters and my mom and dad," she said, speaking to CNN with the permission of her parents.

"I didn't want to sleep with him, but he forced me to. He hit me, insulted me."

As she plays marbles with her brothers and sister, Nujood is a portrait of innocence, with a shy smile and a playful nature.

But what happened evokes anger and shame. Asked if what she went through was torture, she nods quietly.

Nujood's parents married her off in February to a man in his 30s whom she describes as old and ugly.

Her parents said they thought they were putting her in the care of her husband's family, but Nujood said he would often beat her into submission.

Nujood then turned to her family for mercy.

"When I heard, my heart burned for her; he wasn't supposed to sleep with her," said Nujood's mother, who asked not to be identified.

But, initially, she also told her daughter she could not help her -- that she belonged to her husband now.

Nujood's father, Ali Mohammed Ahdal, said he is angry about what happened to his daughter. "He was a criminal, a criminal. He did hateful things to her," he said. "He didn't keep his promise to me that he wouldn't go near her until she was 20."

When contacted by CNN, the girl's former husband declined to comment.

Nujood's parents, like so many others in Yemen, struck a social bargain when they decided to have their daughter wed. More than half of all Yemeni girls are married off before the age of 18, according to Oxfam International, a nonprofit group that fights global poverty and injustice.

Many times girls are forced to marry older men, including some who already have at least one wife, Oxfam said. According to tribal customs, the girls are no longer viewed as a financial or moral burden to their parents.

"There is always a fear that the girl will do something to dishonor the family: She will run away with a guy, she will have relations with a boy. So this is always the phobia that the families have," said Suha Bashren of Oxfam International.

Bashren calls the tradition of child brides in Yemen a national crisis. She works with young girls to protect them from early marriage, abuse and one of the highest maternal mortality rates in the world.

The Yemeni government is holding legal and religious workshops to try to deal with the issue of early marriage. But experts say marrying off a young daughter is generally still seen as the right thing to do.

"A lot of people in the public don't think that this is wrong or that what happened to her was abuse," Bashren said.

In Yemen, there is nothing new or extraordinary about Nujood's story because children have been married off for generations. The country's legal minimum age for marriage was 15 till a decade ago, when the law was changed to allow for children even younger to be wed.

But what is most unusual is that this young girl took such an intensely private dispute and went public with it.

Nujood said she made up her mind to escape from her husband, describing how on a visit to her parents' home she broke free and traveled to the central courthouse across town and demanded to speak to a judge.

"He asked me, 'What do you want?' And I said, 'I want a divorce.' And he said, 'You're married?' And I said, 'Yes,'" she recalled.

What unfolded in those few days in April gripped the country on the southern tip of the Arabian Peninsula.

Nujood got her divorce, but based on the principles of Islamic Sharia law, her husband was compensated, not prosecuted. Nujood was ordered to pay him more than $200. The human rights lawyer who represented her donated the money.

But for this determined spirit, it was still a sweet victory.

"I did this so that people would listen and think about not marrying their daughters off as young as I was," she said with a shy smile.

Now back at the family home, she said she won't go outside to play -- that all the attention bothers her. Some still condemn the young girl for speaking out, believing that she shouldn't have challenged convention.

Human rights advocates said it will take more than a generation if this practice is to change in Yemen for other children.

"These girls are living in a misery that no one is talking about," Oxfam's Bashren said.
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And how many other countries is this shit still going on?
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Re: Child brides in Yemen still common

Post by Wanderer »

DPDarkPrimus wrote: And how many other countries is this shit still going on?
Afghanistan, Sudan, India, some areas of Iran, a case in Britain or two, large parts of tribal areas in Africa, and in some Pacific tribal areas that I can think of.
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Re: Child brides in Yemen still common

Post by The Spartan »

But, initially, she also told her daughter she could not help her -- that she belonged to her husband now.
I recognize those words, but that sentence doesn't make any sense to me.

A little more seriously, this is the kind of shit that happens when you treat women as a commodity. As though they were little more than chattel.
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Post by Solauren »

Okay, so, the parents thought that by this old man marrying there kid, the old mans family would be caring for her. Presumably until she was a pre-determined age (i.e 18).

This might actually be a common arrangement (pre-arranged marriage family cares for the child until they are of age), but it's still stupid as hell.
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Post by cosmicalstorm »

When I was in sixth grade one of my classmates, a twelve year old kurdish girl, was offered a "vacation" by her family to her homeland somewhere in the kurdish parts of Iraq over the summer, but once she got there her passport was destroyed and she was forced to marry a 50 year old man.
She managed to make one short frantic phonecall back to her best friend here in Sweden to tell her this story and ask for help, that was the last we ever heard of her :(
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Post by Darth Yoshi »

Kudos to the girl for getting the divorce through, but of course she shouldn't have had to in the first place.
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Post by The Duchess of Zeon »

It would not be an exagerration to say that the majority of marriages in countries like this constitute de facto slavery, and that there are therefore tens of millions of women enslaved in this shitcanistans.
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Post by hongi »

cosmicalstorm wrote:When I was in sixth grade one of my classmates, a twelve year old kurdish girl, was offered a "vacation" by her family to her homeland somewhere in the kurdish parts of Iraq over the summer, but once she got there her passport was destroyed and she was forced to marry a 50 year old man.
She managed to make one short frantic phonecall back to her best friend here in Sweden to tell her this story and ask for help, that was the last we ever heard of her :(
I don't think it should be controversial to suggest that some cultural practices, like marrying children off or genital mutilation, should be stamped out. I've heard the excuse that child marriage comes with the rule that you have to wait until a certain age before consummating it: waaaay too abusable. Laws, such as the Yemeni law, should not accomodate cultural practices that are frankly barbaric.

And I don't think it's Western-centric to suggest that ( :roll:). It's the decent, humanist thing to do.
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Post by K. A. Pital »

I don't think it should be controversial to suggest that some cultural practices, like marrying children off or genital mutilation, should be stamped out.
I don't get the "protect their unique cultural blah blah" bullshit either.

A repressive culture of chauvinism must be "protected"? Yeah, call me another day.
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Post by Broomstick »

hongi wrote:
cosmicalstorm wrote:When I was in sixth grade one of my classmates, a twelve year old kurdish girl, was offered a "vacation" by her family to her homeland somewhere in the kurdish parts of Iraq over the summer, but once she got there her passport was destroyed and she was forced to marry a 50 year old man.
She managed to make one short frantic phonecall back to her best friend here in Sweden to tell her this story and ask for help, that was the last we ever heard of her :(
I don't think it should be controversial to suggest that some cultural practices, like marrying children off or genital mutilation, should be stamped out. I've heard the excuse that child marriage comes with the rule that you have to wait until a certain age before consummating it: waaaay too abusable. Laws, such as the Yemeni law, should not accomodate cultural practices that are frankly barbaric.

And I don't think it's Western-centric to suggest that ( :roll:). It's the decent, humanist thing to do.
Actually, it IS "western-centric" - but I don't have a problem holding that aspect of western culture superior to the alternative. Can we stop pretending every cultural practice is inherently good?

I don't think many grasp that these assholes view us as the bad guys - they're "protecting women's virtue" or some such by these practices. They marry off the girls as children to make sure they are wed virgins. They cut off girl's genitals to discourage (and isn't that and understatement!) sexual adventuring. The sole role in life is for women to produce legitimate offspring for their husband and it's soooooo important that any measure taken to guarantee it - including mutilation - is justified in their minds. WE, on the other hand, are the bad guys because we take the risk that our women might have sex before marriage, or enjoy sex, or even speak to men they aren't related to.

It's not just child marriage that would need to be eliminated, or just FGM.... it would have to be the whole constellation of cultural elements that so over-value women's reproductive ability and "purity" that it reduces women to chattel wombs with legs.
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Post by Adrian Laguna »

I once spent New Year's at a native village in the Venezuelan jungle. At some point our guide mentioned that it was the custom in the village for girls to be given to an older man at the age 10. The man is supposed to finish raising her, and then she becomes his wife upon reaching adult-hood. It's interesting that such similar customs exist there and in Yemen, two cultures completely separated in almost every way imaginable. There are likely similar reasons for

If I am not mistaken, the current administration's strategy for dealing with the problem is to pretend that there isn't one because the Indians can do no wrong. Note that this is the same government that blames the astronomical murder rate, which has gone up something like 400% since Chavez took power, on the CIA.
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Post by Eulogy »

Evil shit like genital mulilation - suck on my greasy asshole, any malicious primitives reading this - is just one of many reasons why we need stem cell research pronto. Mynogynist shitheads don't get a say in this. :evil:
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Post by Darth Onasi »

I've long held the belief that for any society to advance, cultural traits have to be shed. The idea of cultural heritage is bullshit, certainly there are harmless and dynamic aspects of many cultures that are worth preserving. But this?
There's no place in this world for this kind of barbarism, designed solely to prop up the egos of these worthless men. This should not be a choice - this should be a requirement. You want to function in society? Then don't act like cave men.
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