Really funny scam letter to my inbox!

OT: anything goes!

Moderator: Edi

Post Reply
User avatar
Faram
Bastard Operator from Hell
Posts: 5271
Joined: 2002-07-04 07:39am
Location: Fighting Polarbears

Really funny scam letter to my inbox!

Post by Faram »

Got this in my mailbox :D

It is a blast!
GEORGE WALKER BUSH wrote:IMMEDIATE ATTENTION NEEDED:

HIGHLY CONFIDENTIAL

FROM: GEORGE WALKER BUSH
DEAR SIR / MADAM,

I AM GEORGE WALKER BUSH, SON OF THE FORMER PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA GEORGE HERBERT WALKER BUSH, AND CURRENTLY SERVING AS PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA. THIS LETTER MIGHT SURPRISE YOU BECAUSE WE HAVE NOT MET NEITHER IN PERSON NOR BY CORRESPONDENCE. I CAME TO KNOW OF YOU IN MY SEARCH FOR A RELIABLE AND REPUTABLE PERSON TO HANDLE A VERY CONFIDENTIAL BUSINESS TRANSACTION, WHICH INVOLVES THE TRANSFER OF A HUGE SUM OF MONEY TO AN ACCOUNT REQUIRING MAXIMUM CONFIDENCE.

I AM WRITING YOU IN ABSOLUTE CONFIDENCE PRIMARILY TO SEEK YOUR ASSISTANCE IN ACQUIRING OIL FUNDS THAT ARE PRESENTLY TRAPPED IN THE REPUBLIC OF IRAQ. MY PARTNERS AND I SOLICIT YOUR ASSISTANCE IN COMPLETING A TRANSACTION BEGUN BY MY FATHER, WHO HAS LONG BEEN ACTIVELY ENGAGED IN THE EXTRACTION OF PETROLEUM IN THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA, AND BRAVELY SERVED HIS COUNTRY AS DIRECTOR OF THE UNITED STATES CENTRAL INTELLIGENCE AGENCY.

IN THE DECADE OF THE NINETEEN-EIGHTIES, MY FATHER, THEN VICE-PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA, SOUGHT TO WORK WITH THE GOOD OFFICES OF THE PRESIDENT OF THE REPUBLIC OF IRAQ TO REGAIN LOST OIL REVENUE SOURCES IN THE NEIGHBORING ISLAMIC REPUBLIC OF IRAN. THIS UNSUCCESSFUL VENTURE WAS SOON FOLLOWED BY A FALLING OUT WITH HIS IRAQI PARTNER, WHO SOUGHT TO ACQUIRE ADDITIONAL OIL REVENUE SOURCES IN THE NEIGHBORING EMIRATE OF KUWAIT, A WHOLLY-OWNED U.S.-BRITISH SUBSIDIARY.

MY FATHER RE-SECURED THE PETROLEUM ASSETS OF KUWAIT IN 1991 AT A COST OF SIXTY-ONE BILLION U.S. DOLLARS ($61,000,000,000). OUT OF THAT COST.

THIRTY-SIX BILLION DOLLARS ($36,000,000,000) WERE SUPPLIED BY HIS PARTNERS IN THE KINGDOM OF SAUDI ARABIA AND OTHER PERSIAN GULF MONARCHIES, AND SIXTEEN BILLION DOLLARS ($16,000,000,000) BY GERMAN AND JAPANESE PARTNERS.

BUT MY FATHER'S FORMER IRAQI BUSINESS PARTNER REMAINED IN CONTROL OF THE REPUBLIC OF IRAQ AND ITS PETROLEUM RESERVES.

MY FAMILY IS CALLING FOR YOUR URGENT ASSISTANCE IN FUNDING THE REMOVAL OF THE PRESIDENT OF THE REPUBLIC OF IRAQ AND ACQUIRING THE PETROLEUM ASSETS OF HIS COUNTRY, AS COMPENSATION FOR THE COSTS OF REMOVING HIM FROM POWER.

UNFORTUNATELY, OUR PARTNERS FROM 1991 ARE NOT WILLING TO SHOULDER THE BURDEN OF THIS NEW VENTURE, WHICH IN ITS UPCOMING PHASE MAY COST THE SUM OF 100 BILLION TO 200 BILLION DOLLARS ($100,000,000,000 - $200,000,000,000), BOTH IN THE INITIAL ACQUISITION AND IN LONG-TERM MANAGEMENT.

WITHOUT THE FUNDS FROM OUR 1991 PARTNERS, WE WOULD NOT BE ABLE TO ACQUIRE THE OIL REVENUE TRAPPED WITHIN IRAQ. THAT IS WHY MY FAMILY AND OUR COLLEAGUES ARE URGENTLY SEEKING YOUR GRACIOUS ASSISTANCE. OUR DISTINGUISHED COLLEAGUES IN THIS BUSINESS TRANSACTION INCLUDE THE SITTING VICE-PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA, RICHARD CHENEY, WHO IS AN ORIGINAL PARTNER IN THE IRAQ VENTURE AND FORMER HEAD OF THE ALLIBURTON OIL COMPANY, AND CONDOLEEZA RICE, WHOSE PROFESSIONAL DEDICATION TO THE VENTURE WAS DEMONSTRATED IN THE NAMING OF A CHEVRON OIL TANKER AFTER HER.


I WOULD BESEECH YOU TO TRANSFER A SUM EQUALING TEN TO TWENTY-FIVE PERCENT (10-25 %) OF YOUR YEARLY INCOME TO OUR ACCOUNT TO AID IN THIS IMPORTANT VENTURE. THE INTERNAL REVENUE SERVICE OF THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA WILL FUNCTION AS OUR TRUSTED INTERMEDIARY. I PROPOSE THAT YOU MAKE THIS TRANSFER BEFORE THE FIFTEENTH (15TH) OF THE MONTH OF APRIL.


I KNOW THAT A TRANSACTION OF THIS MAGNITUDE WOULD MAKE ANYONE APPREHENSIVE AND WORRIED. BUT I AM ASSURING YOU THAT ALL WILL BE WELL AT THE END OF THE DAY. A BOLD STEP TAKEN SHALL NOT BE REGRETTED, I ASSURE YOU. PLEASE DO BE INFORMED THAT THIS BUSINESS TRANSACTION IS 100% LEGAL. IF YOU DO NOT WISH TO CO-OPERATE IN THIS TRANSACTION, PLEASE CONTACT OUR INTERMEDIARY REPRESENTATIVES TO FURTHER DISCUSS THE MATTER.

I PRAY THAT YOU UNDERSTAND OUR PLIGHT. MY FAMILY AND OUR COLLEAGUES WILL BE FOREVER GRATEFUL. PLEASE REPLY IN STRICT CONFIDENCE TO THE CONTACT NUMBERS BELOW.

SINCERELY WITH WARM REGARDS,

GEORGE WALKER BUSH
[img=right]http://hem.bredband.net/b217293/warsaban.gif[/img]

"Either God wants to abolish evil, and cannot; or he can, but does not want to. ... If he wants to, but cannot, he is impotent. If he can, but does not want to, he is wicked. ... If, as they say, God can abolish evil, and God really wants to do it, why is there evil in the world?" -Epicurus


Fear is the mother of all gods.

Nature does all things spontaneously, by herself, without the meddling of the gods. -Lucretius
User avatar
Dalton
For Those About to Rock We Salute You
For Those About to Rock We Salute You
Posts: 22640
Joined: 2002-07-03 06:16pm
Location: New York, the Fuck You State
Contact:

Post by Dalton »

Well! A twist on the Nigerian scam...and a stupid twist at that.
Image
Image
To Absent Friends
Dalton | Admin Smash | Knight of the Order of SDN

"y = mx + bro" - Surlethe
"You try THAT shit again, kid, and I will mod you. I will
mod you so hard, you'll wish I were Dalton." - Lagmonster

May the way of the Hero lead to the Triforce.
User avatar
Mr Bean
Lord of Irony
Posts: 22465
Joined: 2002-07-04 08:36am

Post by Mr Bean »

Indeed

And may I add the long standing skiped point

Bush Jr and Sr are Texas Oil fokes

More Oil on the market-Less Profits for everyone else except the person who has the new oil
Exxon is the only American company to own a large percentage in Middle-East Oil and none of that lies in Iraq(Thats a French and Belgium owned company mostly)


Bush and CO don't have any intrests in either Exxon or to my knowledge that French company

Meaning they would fork over Texas oil Company's, In the short term for a few Billion Dollers
By the time the Long-Term rolls around however Busy should have been out of office for quite a few years

"A cult is a religion with no political power." -Tom Wolfe
Pardon me for sounding like a dick, but I'm playing the tiniest violin in the world right now-Dalton
User avatar
SHODAN
Padawan Learner
Posts: 333
Joined: 2002-11-04 06:47am

Post by SHODAN »

Ahem Faram, you actually READ junkmail you receive? :shock:
User avatar
Coaan
Jedi Council Member
Posts: 1716
Joined: 2003-01-03 08:09am
Location: Out of place in time.

Post by Coaan »

SHODAN wrote:Ahem Faram, you actually READ junkmail you receive? :shock:
:twisted: using someone elses machine like a library's 'course..

But reading the scams that some try and come up with can actually be amusing....and even then there is always junking the junker.... :D fight fire with fire as they say
Xcom ; Standing proud and getting horrifically murdered by Chryssalids since 1994
User avatar
Admiral Valdemar
Outside Context Problem
Posts: 31572
Joined: 2002-07-04 07:17pm
Location: UK

Post by Admiral Valdemar »

It's obviously a scam, apart from the overzealous use of CAPS it is grammatically correct...
User avatar
Coaan
Jedi Council Member
Posts: 1716
Joined: 2003-01-03 08:09am
Location: Out of place in time.

Post by Coaan »

Admiral Valdemar wrote:It's obviously a scam, apart from the overzealous use of CAPS it is grammatically correct...
Being Grammatically correct does not make something spam, we can all on occasion pull off 'perfect, proper [insert whatever language here]'

:P
Xcom ; Standing proud and getting horrifically murdered by Chryssalids since 1994
User avatar
Admiral Valdemar
Outside Context Problem
Posts: 31572
Joined: 2002-07-04 07:17pm
Location: UK

Post by Admiral Valdemar »

Coaan wrote:
Admiral Valdemar wrote:It's obviously a scam, apart from the overzealous use of CAPS it is grammatically correct...
Being Grammatically correct does not make something spam, we can all on occasion pull off 'perfect, proper [insert whatever language here]'

:P
I was actually referring to the fact that Bush could type so legibly. :wink:
User avatar
Coaan
Jedi Council Member
Posts: 1716
Joined: 2003-01-03 08:09am
Location: Out of place in time.

Post by Coaan »

Admiral Valdemar wrote:
Coaan wrote:
Admiral Valdemar wrote:It's obviously a scam, apart from the overzealous use of CAPS it is grammatically correct...
Being Grammatically correct does not make something spam, we can all on occasion pull off 'perfect, proper [insert whatever language here]'

:P
I was actually referring to the fact that Bush could type so legibly. :wink:
Bush can type?!...I was thinking you had to know how to spell first...;)
Obviously being Dum- I mean President., he can afford the best spell checkers
Xcom ; Standing proud and getting horrifically murdered by Chryssalids since 1994
User avatar
Luke Starkiller
Jedi Knight
Posts: 788
Joined: 2002-08-08 08:55pm
Location: Ottawa, Canada

Post by Luke Starkiller »

Erm, did nobody else catch the sarcasm? It is a take on Income Tax.
What kind of dark wizard in league with nameless forces of primordial evil ARE you that you can't even make a successful sanity check versus BOREDOM? - Red Mage
User avatar
InnerBrat
CLIT Commander
Posts: 7469
Joined: 2002-11-26 11:02am
Location: In my own mind.
Contact:

Post by InnerBrat »

Luke Starkiller wrote:Erm, did nobody else catch the sarcasm? It is a take on Income Tax.
THANK YOU!
I was beginnign to think I was the only person that saw the obvious joke.
"I fight with love, and I laugh with rage, you gotta live light enough to see the humour and long enough to see some change" - Ani DiFranco, Pick Yer Nose

"Life 's not a song, life isn't bliss, life is just this: it's living." - Spike, Once More with Feeling
IRG CommandoJoe
Sith Devotee
Posts: 3481
Joined: 2002-07-09 12:51pm

Post by IRG CommandoJoe »

MY PARTNERS AND I SOLICIT YOUR ASSISTANCE IN COMPLETING A TRANSACTION BEGUN BY MY FATHER, WHO HAS LONG BEEN ACTIVELY ENGAGED IN THE EXTRACTION OF PETROLEUM IN THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA, AND BRAVELY SERVED HIS COUNTRY AS DIRECTOR OF THE UNITED STATES CENTRAL INTELLIGENCE AGENCY.
What an ass. He bravely served as a pilot in WWII and got shot down two times. Stupid liberal slant. Or the person might actually be that stupid not to know he was a WWII pilot.
Who's the more foolish, the fool or the fool who follows him? -Obi-Wan Kenobi

"In the unlikely event that someone comes here, hates everything we stand for, and then donates a big chunk of money anyway, I will thank him for his stupidity." -Darth Wong, Lord of the Sith

Proud member of the Brotherhood of the Monkey.
User avatar
Stormbringer
King of Democracy
Posts: 22678
Joined: 2002-07-15 11:22pm

Post by Stormbringer »

IRG CommandoJoe wrote:
MY PARTNERS AND I SOLICIT YOUR ASSISTANCE IN COMPLETING A TRANSACTION BEGUN BY MY FATHER, WHO HAS LONG BEEN ACTIVELY ENGAGED IN THE EXTRACTION OF PETROLEUM IN THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA, AND BRAVELY SERVED HIS COUNTRY AS DIRECTOR OF THE UNITED STATES CENTRAL INTELLIGENCE AGENCY.
What an ass. He bravely served as a pilot in WWII and got shot down two times. Stupid liberal slant. Or the person might actually be that stupid not to know he was a WWII pilot.
Given that it's a scammer I highly doubt that the person did. Bush Sr. was actually a highly decorated pilot and served with distinction.
Image
IRG CommandoJoe
Sith Devotee
Posts: 3481
Joined: 2002-07-09 12:51pm

Post by IRG CommandoJoe »

Precisely.
Who's the more foolish, the fool or the fool who follows him? -Obi-Wan Kenobi

"In the unlikely event that someone comes here, hates everything we stand for, and then donates a big chunk of money anyway, I will thank him for his stupidity." -Darth Wong, Lord of the Sith

Proud member of the Brotherhood of the Monkey.
User avatar
DPDarkPrimus
Emperor's Hand
Posts: 18399
Joined: 2002-11-22 11:02pm
Location: Iowa
Contact:

Post by DPDarkPrimus »

Too eloquent and too few typos to be Gee Dubya.
Mayabird is my girlfriend
Justice League:BotM:MM:SDnet City Watch:Cybertron's Finest
"Well then, science is bullshit. "
-revprez, with yet another brilliant rebuttal.
User avatar
The Dark
Emperor's Hand
Posts: 7378
Joined: 2002-10-31 10:28pm
Location: Promoting ornithological awareness

Post by The Dark »

innerbrat wrote:
Luke Starkiller wrote:Erm, did nobody else catch the sarcasm? It is a take on Income Tax.
THANK YOU!
I was beginnign to think I was the only person that saw the obvious joke.
Until I read your posts I was seriously beginning to get shaken in my faith in the intelligence of this board.
Stanley Hauerwas wrote:[W]hy is it that no one is angry at the inequality of income in this country? I mean, the inequality of income is unbelievable. Unbelievable. Why isn’t that ever an issue of politics? Because you don’t live in a democracy. You live in a plutocracy. Money rules.
BattleTech for SilCore
HemlockGrey
Fucking Awesome
Posts: 13834
Joined: 2002-07-04 03:21pm

Post by HemlockGrey »

But...but...I ALREADY DO THIS!
The End of Suburbia
"If more cars are inevitable, must there not be roads for them to run on?"
-Robert Moses

"The Wire" is the best show in the history of television. Watch it today.
User avatar
Exonerate
Sith Marauder
Posts: 4454
Joined: 2002-10-29 07:19pm
Location: DC Metro Area

Post by Exonerate »

Hmf, the letter is suprisingly accurate... I wouldn't be too suprised if it really was Bush :lol:

BoTM, MM, HAB, JL
Post Reply