Anyone Raised by a strict Fundamentalist family?

Kitsune · Post by **Kitsune** » 2008-07-30 09:48am

This is partially for a story I am thinking bout but does not quite fit within the story writing section. I am curious if some who might have been raised by fundamentalist families might be willing to tell a bit out their experiences.

Yes, I realize that no Fundamentalist family is going to act the same way but I can use some tips for one with the short story I am planning.

The idea is a modern fantasy story but near the beginning of the story, I am planning to have the mother and father of the main character get killed (likely a car accident) and have the main character (who is a girl) get passed to the father's brother or sister's family (who are strongly fundamentalist.) Her father was American while her mother was Japanese which he met while serving in Japan. The mother was a shape shifter who could transform into fox which her daughter has the same ability. I am already thinking that they do not approve of her mix?

My eventual plan is to have the main character run away from this household. What I am looking for suggestions on how to make this family intolerable to live with. What type of restrictions might they put on her suddenly especially if her parents allowed he a large amount of independence. Also, how might they react to certain reading materials. What terms might they use for books they don't approve of? For example - Stephen Jay Gould.

Invictus ChiKen · Post by **Invictus ChiKen** » 2008-07-30 10:02am

What sort of Fundamentalist are we dealing with?

Catholics wouldn't care about the Race mixing. Protestants it would depend on where in the nation they are from and there denomination.

Kitsune · Post by **Kitsune** » 2008-07-30 10:05am

My mother was Lutheran and was a bit of a racist even though I cannot consider her to really be a fundamentalist. She only got religious just before she died - go figure....My mother disliked Darwin but never really pushed it either.

Invictus ChiKen · Post by **Invictus ChiKen** » 2008-07-30 10:14am

Kitsune wrote:My mother was Lutheran and was a bit of a racist even though I cannot consider her to really be a fundamentalist. She only got religious just before she died - go figure....My mother disliked Darwin but never really pushed it either.

I obviously mean the Fundamentalist in your story. As one of your questions is on racism. The stories setting and denomination of the Parents will factor into this.

Kitsune · Post by **Kitsune** » 2008-07-30 10:23am

I had an ex-roommate who went to church with a girl (looking for some tail of course) and he talked about the church seeming to believe that that the church thought the constitution should be suspended and should be run by the church.

I believe they called themselves Baptist. That is likely what I will go with - there also seems to be many different Baptist variations. Some very liberal people I have met - including my teacher in Anthropology and Archeology -were Baptist.

Invictus ChiKen · Post by **Invictus ChiKen** » 2008-07-30 10:35am

*sigh* Okay look retard. Get back to us when you make up your mind what branch they are and where in this damned nation they are. THEN we can answer you.

General Zod · Post by **General Zod** » 2008-07-30 12:08pm

Invictus ChiKen wrote:*sigh* Okay look retard. Get back to us when you make up your mind what branch they are and where in this damned nation they are. THEN we can answer you.

Since when does it matter what branch the fundie is? They're universally irrational and by definition follow no real guideline as to what they find offensive or objectionable. The vast majority of the time their rationale for not liking something is "It ain't right" or "The Bible said it's wrong hurrr hurr". Which can be anything from violent videogames to homosexuals to science to anyone who isn't white.

Kitsune · Post by **Kitsune** » 2008-07-30 12:11pm

That is why I am asking for any personal experiences (they are willing to give) from people who might have been raised by Fundamentalist and saw the "Light"

They might have later compared themselves to other children, either after they got on their own and/or with other students.

Kitsune · Post by **Kitsune** » 2008-07-30 12:45pm

Should add thgat it could include someone with friends who were raised in Fundamentalist homes and what they observed there.

Post by **Surlethe** » 2008-07-30 07:09pm

General Zod wrote:
Invictus ChiKen wrote:*sigh* Okay look retard. Get back to us when you make up your mind what branch they are and where in this damned nation they are. THEN we can answer you.
Since when does it matter what branch the fundie is? They're universally irrational and by definition follow no real guideline as to what they find offensive or objectionable. The vast majority of the time their rationale for not liking something is "It ain't right" or "The Bible said it's wrong hurrr hurr". Which can be anything from violent videogames to homosexuals to science to anyone who isn't white.

They are universally irrational, but Kitsune is presumably looking for details in what the fundamentalist family life is like. You will not know that unless you know which variety of fundie he's looking for, because the details do vary significantly. There are hardcore Catholics, but most of them are Reformed Protestant; there will be major differences between the two.

Even within Protestant fundies, you have those who place a high value on education and are successful and educated (like my in-laws), who accept nothing on faith except the premises of their belief system, and homeschool their children to excellence. Then there are others who are uneducated factory workers and give their children a poor, high-school level homeschooling. Some fundies are well-to-do and live in cities; some are dirt-poor and live in the middle of nowhere. Some are virulently racist; some are no more racist than the typical "screw the poor" (who happen to generally be black) lolbertarian. Some spend lots of time thoroughly researching and passing on to their children the intricacies of their particular fundamentalist belief structure (yes, there is indeed a variety of fundamentalist belief structures), and some simply take the beliefs entirely for granted without thinking them through.

Rye · Post by **Rye** » 2008-07-30 07:34pm

General Zod wrote:
Invictus ChiKen wrote:*sigh* Okay look retard. Get back to us when you make up your mind what branch they are and where in this damned nation they are. THEN we can answer you.
Since when does it matter what branch the fundie is? They're universally irrational and by definition follow no real guideline as to what they find offensive or objectionable. The vast majority of the time their rationale for not liking something is "It ain't right" or "The Bible said it's wrong hurrr hurr". Which can be anything from violent videogames to homosexuals to science to anyone who isn't white.

It matters what branch the fundie is because that dictates in the majority what their beliefs are and how they live their lives. For instance, a JW household will be different to an Opus Dei one and both will be different to a westboro baptist church, and all of them will be different from a hardline wahabbist group, who will be different to a deobandi group, who will be different to a hindu group, etc.

KlavoHunter · Post by **KlavoHunter** » 2008-07-30 08:30pm

So perhaps in the meantime, while Kitsune there gets his crap together and figures out what denomination in particular he's referring to; How about we identify things that are common to most/all fundies?

Kitsune · Post by **Kitsune** » 2008-07-30 08:47pm

I can at least partially specify.....
Fundamentalist Christian, Protestant, likely a Baptist of some stripe

Invictus ChiKen · Post by **Invictus ChiKen** » 2008-07-30 09:43pm

Kitsune wrote:I can at least partially specify.....
Fundamentalist Christian, Protestant, likely a Baptist of some stripe

WOW can you vague that up a little?

KlavoHunter wrote:So perhaps in the meantime, while Kitsune there gets his crap together and figures out what denomination in particular he's referring to; How about we identify things that are common to most/all fundies?

That maybe could possible work. I suggest we limit ourselves to Christians for this discussion.

General Zod · Post by **General Zod** » 2008-07-30 09:46pm

KlavoHunter wrote:So perhaps in the meantime, while Kitsune there gets his crap together and figures out what denomination in particular he's referring to; How about we identify things that are common to most/all fundies?

They're all batshit insane. That's really about it.

Hillary · Post by **Hillary** » 2008-07-31 05:52am

General Zod wrote:
KlavoHunter wrote:So perhaps in the meantime, while Kitsune there gets his crap together and figures out what denomination in particular he's referring to; How about we identify things that are common to most/all fundies?
They're all batshit insane. That's really about it.

They are all utterly beyond arguing with. They won't even discuss their beliefs, except as to state their particular bible as fact. If you disagree, you are wrong - as the bible is right. That is as detailed as they will go.

They all react badly to anything that stops them doing EXACTLY as they want to, even if it is to stop them imposing their beliefs on others. They will plead discrimination if this happens.

They will also find it quite appropriate to oppose any OTHER religion's attempts to impose upon their lives. They will plead discrimination if this happens.

And they're all batshit insane of course.

Rye · Post by **Rye** » 2008-07-31 06:43am

http://www.hgi.org.uk/archive/cults.htm Read this and you should be able to predict how most fundamentalist groups behave. The individual examples of a fundamentalist church will dictate the details, but all in all, the experience will be outlined in articles like that.

Shroom Man 777 · Post by **Shroom Man 777** » 2008-07-31 07:36am

Some, like my Catholic cousins and aunties, join organizations like the Couples for Christ. They're uppity well-to-do people and I'm sure their religious self-righteousness is totally a front, another facet of their "sociality" which they all hobnob about and crap. They'd send their children to the same Catholic all-boys schools (that are infested with violent assholes that molest one another) and put them in the same Catechism classes and crap.

In parties they act like well-to-do people while their children gather amongst themselves and crack gay jokes with one another and talk about which chick in school they'd love to fuck and shit.

They're generally decent people, though

Post by **Darth Wong** » 2008-07-31 10:09am

General Zod wrote:
KlavoHunter wrote:So perhaps in the meantime, while Kitsune there gets his crap together and figures out what denomination in particular he's referring to; How about we identify things that are common to most/all fundies?
They're all batshit insane. That's really about it.

They are also obsessed with not being embarrassed in front of their fundie friends. If Rebecca's upbringing was any experience, they put huge value on the way they are perceived in the church community, and will lean hard on their kids to make sure their kids do not embarrass them in front of their church friends.

It can in fact be difficult to determine whether a parent is angry at a child because he honestly thinks the child has done something wrong, or because he knows the church membership will disapprove. Or maybe the parent has no independent sense of ethics at all, so there is no difference.

Fundie churches are not just religious groups; they are also social cliques. It is surprisingly easy for someone to get ostracized from the group; in one case, I knew a guy who was quite the devoted fundie, but he got kicked out of the church for questioning certain statements of its leadership. His wife promptly stopped talking to him, and it threatened to tear their marriage apart.

To summarize, it is best to think of a fundamentalist church as a cross between an ideology and a strictly hierarchical social club. When you're in one of those churches, you know who the influential people are, and they matter as much as (if not more than) the ideology. In one case, the minister at one church in her area was caught sleeping with another man's wife. But because he was so popular, his congregation forgave him, and (here's where it gets downright weird) they actually started turning on anyone who would not forgive him. Some families were pressured to leave the church.

Alerik the Fortunate · Post by **Alerik the Fortunate** » 2008-07-31 05:19pm

It definitely depends on the ranking in the church. A popular or high ranking (depending on the hierarchical structure) minister's family members will be treated differently than others. Since my grandfather "Dr. Hoeh" (always pronounced with an appropriately reverential tone) was an "Evangelist", the kind of deference paid to him tended to spill over onto the rest of the family. It helped that I seemed to be a younger version of him (at least his public image; you don't want to know about the private reality of his life),and fit in well. Yet my mother, who is Latina, outspoken, and married my father very young, was never really accepted. There were always whisperings or unstated assumptions that they got married because of pregnancy, even though I was born 12 months after the wedding (note: all fundies are either bad at math or selectively apply it). Most of this is received second or thirdhand; someone from a broken family would receive all sorts of indirect insults, probably mentioned by other children.

Also, specifics are important because different fundamentalist groups have a huge issue with the worship practices of very similar sects. What day the sabbath is on, the biblical authenticity of celebrations of major holidays like Christmas and Halloween, what is correct conduct in service, whether speaking in tongues, etc, are required or permitted, are serious topics. Other positions on these issues are treated with an intense irrational fear, since they must be ultimately Satanic in origin. For example, I remember camping out at home on Halloween with my family in a darkened house praying to be protected from the evils outside, and the rest of the family was forbidden to give us Christmas presents because Christmas was not a biblically sanctioned holiday.

CaptainZoidberg · Post by **CaptainZoidberg** » 2008-07-31 11:50pm

I remember when I was about 14, the older church members invited the youth to submit questions written on index cards to them, and they would answer them on a panel.

Of course there were questions like "Were dinosaurs real?" or "Why do the shows on TV say that the Earth is so old?" and so on. (I bet you can guess the answers).

My question was whether a person would get a new soul if a duplicate copy of the person was made. Apparently the guy reading the questions thought it was a joke...

Post by **Darth Wong** » 2008-07-31 11:57pm

CaptainZoidberg wrote:I remember when I was about 14, the older church members invited the youth to submit questions written on index cards to them, and they would answer them on a panel.

Of course there were questions like "Were dinosaurs real?" or "Why do the shows on TV say that the Earth is so old?" and so on. (I bet you can guess the answers).

My question was whether a person would get a new soul if a duplicate copy of the person was made. Apparently the guy reading the questions thought it was a joke...

Actually, that's a very common defense mechanism among rabid ideologues: when confronted with questions they cannot answer, they accuse the questioner of trying to make a joke.

The Duchess of Zeon · Post by **The Duchess of Zeon** » 2008-08-01 01:38am

From personal experience:

1. No television whatsoever.
2. Levitical diet (unique to my family's weird-ass sect).
3. Always wear dresses, cover your head in church.
4. Only G-rated videos, no matter how old, same for movies.
5. Home-schooling.
6. Cut off contact with all non-christian friends.
7. Severe punishment for any contact with members of the opposite sex (beating).
8. Burning any books that aren't appropriate (such as RPG books of any kind), burning dolls which are considered satanic (like Cabbage Patch dolls), and other things like that.
9. No contemporary music of any sort--musical media from post-1950 or so will be burnt.
10. Mandatory attendence to Sunday School, church, and wedsneday Bible study with no exceptions permitted.
11. Rigid curfew.
12. No meeting with friends without parental supervision.
13. Disagreeing with any of the above or disputing it will garner a beating.
14. Talking back to your parents will garner a beating and a warning that you've sinned such that you'll go to Hell if you don't beg God for forgiveness.
15. Absolutely no privacy permitted except when changing/bathing, etc: The door to my bedroom was removed, for example, so I could never be alone.

CaptainZoidberg · Post by **CaptainZoidberg** » 2008-08-01 01:55am

Wow, can I ask what denomination that was?

In HS I knew some people who were Southern Baptist, and the worst thing with them (at least so far as I was aware of) was that they thought the Earth was 5000 years old.

The Duchess of Zeon · Post by **The Duchess of Zeon** » 2008-08-01 02:03am

CaptainZoidberg wrote:Wow, can I ask what denomination that was?

In HS I knew some people who were Southern Baptist, and the worst thing with them (at least so far as I was aware of) was that they thought the Earth was 5000 years old.

The Institute in Basic Life Principles.