Anyone Raised by a strict Fundamentalist family?

[Napoleon the Clown]

For good examples, just scour the internet. The sites are both deeply depressing, but check out Rapture Ready of Teens 4 Christ. A terrifying percent of those are real. I cannot take responsibility for any depression that may occur from reading those sites. And I strongly advise anyone from a fundie home to avoid the sites, as it won't bring back any good memories whatsoever. Honestly, how the Duchess can even relate her childhood at all is beyond me. If mine were half that, I doubt I'd even be willing to bring it up...

[salm]

From personal experience:

1. No television whatsoever.
2. Levitical diet (unique to my family's weird-ass sect).
3. Always wear dresses, cover your head in church.
4. Only G-rated videos, no matter how old, same for movies.
5. Home-schooling.
6. Cut off contact with all non-christian friends.
7. Severe punishment for any contact with members of the opposite sex (beating).
8. Burning any books that aren't appropriate (such as RPG books of any kind), burning dolls which are considered satanic (like Cabbage Patch dolls), and other things like that.
9. No contemporary music of any sort--musical media from post-1950 or so will be burnt.
10. Mandatory attendence to Sunday School, church, and wedsneday Bible study with no exceptions permitted.
11. Rigid curfew.
12. No meeting with friends without parental supervision.
13. Disagreeing with any of the above or disputing it will garner a beating.
14. Talking back to your parents will garner a beating and a warning that you've sinned such that you'll go to Hell if you don't beg God for forgiveness.
15. Absolutely no privacy permitted except when changing/bathing, etc: The door to my bedroom was removed, for example, so I could never be alone.

Wow, that sounds almost like Guantanamo. I find the last point esspecially revoltin.

[Zixinus]

It doesn't matter what particular sect it is. You can make up your own.

I wasn't raised by fundie parents but the basic rundown is that Sect A establishes a set of beliefs and anything even remotely or vaguely treatening those beliefs is automatically the Ultimate Evil (tm) and must be shunned, scorned and beaten out of.

Children are innocent and any sign they show that is part of being a normal human being (like interest in the opposite sex, interest in other media or ideology, general curiosity, testing their limits or even merely asking questions) must be severely and highly beaten until the Ultimate Evil (tm) comes out.

What are the specific tenants doesn't matter much: it all depends on the standing within their community and how seriously they take it. The more absurd their beliefs to any outside observer, the more they fiercely protect them.

There are plenty of various sects out there, some take themselves quite seriously and are even violent, others have cooled down and only insist on particular activities. Some Christian sects have gone as far as to not marry or have sex at all and instead just adopted orphans.

Instead of asking for specific sects, ask for a list of make one up for yourself. Hell, you can pick up one at random.

Also, it doesn't have to be all about being a fundie: being mean and uncaring can be enough.

[JohnM81]

This is partially for a story I am thinking bout but does not quite fit within the story writing section. I am curious if some who might have been raised by fundamentalist families might be willing to tell a bit out their experiences.

Yes, I realize that no Fundamentalist family is going to act the same way but I can use some tips for one with the short story I am planning.

The idea is a modern fantasy story but near the beginning of the story, I am planning to have the mother and father of the main character get killed (likely a car accident) and have the main character (who is a girl) get passed to the father's brother or sister's family (who are strongly fundamentalist.) Her father was American while her mother was Japanese which he met while serving in Japan. The mother was a shape shifter who could transform into fox which her daughter has the same ability. I am already thinking that they do not approve of her mix?

My eventual plan is to have the main character run away from this household. What I am looking for suggestions on how to make this family intolerable to live with. What type of restrictions might they put on her suddenly especially if her parents allowed he a large amount of independence. Also, how might they react to certain reading materials. What terms might they use for books they don't approve of? For example - Stephen Jay Gould.

Well I can share some of my experiences with you of my upbringing but its not what you are truely looking for. I grew up in what I would call a literal biblical fundimentalist household. In that we take the literal words of the original hebrew/greek as the inspired word of God.

I said my story isn't what you are looking for because there has been no "falling away" of the beliefs I have been taught and in time taken as my own. I know this is at odds with the vast majority of posters on this forum and as rare as a well thought out trekkie arguement in the ST vs SW forums.

It is interesting that I have read in several posts the idea that inter-racial dating/marriage is against biblical teachings. This struck me as odd because my parents are an inter-racial marriage. And further more the bible doesn't condemn such actions either. Most of the time these experiences are cultural values that have no biblical basis that are imposed on others.

[Broomstick]

It is interesting that I have read in several posts the idea that inter-racial dating/marriage is against biblical teachings. This struck me as odd because my parents are an inter-racial marriage. And further more the bible doesn't condemn such actions either. Most of the time these experiences are cultural values that have no biblical basis that are imposed on others.

True. They are cultural values. But some people will then hunt for Bible texts to support their cultural and personal prejudices.

[Adrian Laguna]

7. Severe punishment for any contact with members of the opposite sex (beating).

I suppose it goes without saying that too close contact with the same sex results in the same thing.

[JohnM81]

It is interesting that I have read in several posts the idea that inter-racial dating/marriage is against biblical teachings. This struck me as odd because my parents are an inter-racial marriage. And further more the bible doesn't condemn such actions either. Most of the time these experiences are cultural values that have no biblical basis that are imposed on others.

True. They are cultural values. But some people will then hunt for Bible texts to support their cultural and personal prejudices.

What you say is true and they will have to twist scripture out of context to find them. If they are intellectually honest they find things like:

Rom 10:12 For there is no difference between the Jew and the Greek: for the same Lord over all is rich unto all that call upon him.
Gal 3:28 There is neither Jew nor Greek, there is neither bond nor free, there is neither male nor female: for ye are all one in Christ Jesus.
Col 3:11 Where there is neither Greek nor Jew, circumcision nor uncircumcision, Barbarian, Scythian, bond [nor] free: but Christ [is] all, and in all.

[General Zod]

What you say is true and they will have to twist scripture out of context to find them. If they are intellectually honest they find things like:

Rom 10:12 For there is no difference between the Jew and the Greek: for the same Lord over all is rich unto all that call upon him.
Gal 3:28 There is neither Jew nor Greek, there is neither bond nor free, there is neither male nor female: for ye are all one in Christ Jesus.
Col 3:11 Where there is neither Greek nor Jew, circumcision nor uncircumcision, Barbarian, Scythian, bond [nor] free: but Christ [is] all, and in all.

They don't have to twist anything, really. For every passage like the ones you found there's ten passages commanding God's worshippers to kill those who refuse to follow him. The Bible is so poorly written that there's so many contradictions twisting is very rarely necessary at all.

[The Duchess of Zeon]

From personal experience:

1. No television whatsoever.
2. Levitical diet (unique to my family's weird-ass sect).
3. Always wear dresses, cover your head in church.
4. Only G-rated videos, no matter how old, same for movies.
5. Home-schooling.
6. Cut off contact with all non-christian friends.
7. Severe punishment for any contact with members of the opposite sex (beating).
8. Burning any books that aren't appropriate (such as RPG books of any kind), burning dolls which are considered satanic (like Cabbage Patch dolls), and other things like that.
9. No contemporary music of any sort--musical media from post-1950 or so will be burnt.
10. Mandatory attendence to Sunday School, church, and wedsneday Bible study with no exceptions permitted.
11. Rigid curfew.
12. No meeting with friends without parental supervision.
13. Disagreeing with any of the above or disputing it will garner a beating.
14. Talking back to your parents will garner a beating and a warning that you've sinned such that you'll go to Hell if you don't beg God for forgiveness.
15. Absolutely no privacy permitted except when changing/bathing, etc: The door to my bedroom was removed, for example, so I could never be alone.

Wow, that sounds almost like Guantanamo. I find the last point esspecially revoltin.

*blinks* If Gitmo was that good, it would be considered one of the most humane prisons in the world.

[The Duchess of Zeon]

7. Severe punishment for any contact with members of the opposite sex (beating).

I suppose it goes without saying that too close contact with the same sex results in the same thing.

Rather.

[Broomstick]

2. Levitical diet (unique to my family's weird-ass sect).

What's a "Levitical diet"? One based on all those crazy-assed laws in Leviticus?

[The Duchess of Zeon]

2. Levitical diet (unique to my family's weird-ass sect).

What's a "Levitical diet"? One based on all those crazy-assed laws in Leviticus?

Bill Gothard's interpretation of the dietary commandments in Leviticus without any of the Jewish rabbanical thought. I.E., we were banned from eating beef and cow's milk or butter (so my parents used transfatty "I can't believe it's not butter", ugh) or cow's milk cheese at the same meal, but chicken and cheese or beef and sheep's milk cheese were okay, as were substitutes, unlike in Jewish Rabbanical law. No pork, shellfish, etc. And he invented thousands of page long books justifying this "scientifically" as being the appropriate diet for people.

[The Spartan]

It is interesting that I have read in several posts the idea that inter-racial dating/marriage is against biblical teachings. This struck me as odd because my parents are an inter-racial marriage. And further more the bible doesn't condemn such actions either. Most of the time these experiences are cultural values that have no biblical basis that are imposed on others.

True. They are cultural values. But some people will then hunt for Bible texts to support their cultural and personal prejudices.

It gets stranger when one kind of inter-racial marriage was fine but another would not be.

For example, my great-great-grandmother is full blood Native American, a mix of Chickasaw and Chocktaw. According to my family this was perfectly acceptable. On the other hand, had my great-great-grandfather married a black woman (note that this was after the end of the Civil Way) he would have been an outcast.

[Darth Wong]

It is interesting that I have read in several posts the idea that inter-racial dating/marriage is against biblical teachings. This struck me as odd because my parents are an inter-racial marriage. And further more the bible doesn't condemn such actions either. Most of the time these experiences are cultural values that have no biblical basis that are imposed on others.

True. They are cultural values. But some people will then hunt for Bible texts to support their cultural and personal prejudices.

What you say is true and they will have to twist scripture out of context to find them. If they are intellectually honest they find things like:

Rom 10:12 For there is no difference between the Jew and the Greek: for the same Lord over all is rich unto all that call upon him.
Gal 3:28 There is neither Jew nor Greek, there is neither bond nor free, there is neither male nor female: for ye are all one in Christ Jesus.
Col 3:11 Where there is neither Greek nor Jew, circumcision nor uncircumcision, Barbarian, Scythian, bond [nor] free: but Christ [is] all, and in all.

In the minor prophet books of the Old Testament, there are entire books devoted to condemnation of interracial marriage.

[JohnM81]

They don't have to twist anything, really. For every passage like the ones you found there's ten passages commanding God's worshippers to kill those who refuse to follow him. The Bible is so poorly written that there's so many contradictions twisting is very rarely necessary at all.

Sure they do. Because it just simply put isn't there. The only time in scripture where we see restrictions upon who can marry who is for the nation of israel during a specific time. That time frame was during the old covenant. But that restriction wasn't based off of race because jews and arabs are of the same heritage.

As for the contradictions in scripture, that is a different topic altogether. Ill just say that any contradiction found is scripture is easily resolved by going back to the original hebrew or greek. I have read over 100s if not 1000s of those supposed contradictions and they all originate from the fact that english isn't the language the scriptures are written in and the translation isn't always perfect.

I have read scripture cover to cover as a kid and with a little investigation into the hebrew/greek every contradiction Ive seen is really a misstranslation on the part of those who brought the bible to the english language.

[JohnM81]

True. They are cultural values. But some people will then hunt for Bible texts to support their cultural and personal prejudices.

What you say is true and they will have to twist scripture out of context to find them. If they are intellectually honest they find things like:

Rom 10:12 For there is no difference between the Jew and the Greek: for the same Lord over all is rich unto all that call upon him.
Gal 3:28 There is neither Jew nor Greek, there is neither bond nor free, there is neither male nor female: for ye are all one in Christ Jesus.
Col 3:11 Where there is neither Greek nor Jew, circumcision nor uncircumcision, Barbarian, Scythian, bond [nor] free: but Christ [is] all, and in all.

In the minor prophet books of the Old Testament, there are entire books devoted to condemnation of interracial marriage.

During the times of the old covenant there are restrictions on marriage this is true. However the lines were not draw by race. Jews and Arabs are of the same heritage. All of this was fortold to change in the old testament (torah and book of the prophets). And it did during the coming of the messiah.

[fgalkin]

From personal experience:

1. No television whatsoever.
2. Levitical diet (unique to my family's weird-ass sect).
3. Always wear dresses, cover your head in church.
4. Only G-rated videos, no matter how old, same for movies.
5. Home-schooling.
6. Cut off contact with all non-christian friends.
7. Severe punishment for any contact with members of the opposite sex (beating).
8. Burning any books that aren't appropriate (such as RPG books of any kind), burning dolls which are considered satanic (like Cabbage Patch dolls), and other things like that.
9. No contemporary music of any sort--musical media from post-1950 or so will be burnt.
10. Mandatory attendence to Sunday School, church, and wedsneday Bible study with no exceptions permitted.
11. Rigid curfew.
12. No meeting with friends without parental supervision.
13. Disagreeing with any of the above or disputing it will garner a beating.
14. Talking back to your parents will garner a beating and a warning that you've sinned such that you'll go to Hell if you don't beg God for forgiveness.
15. Absolutely no privacy permitted except when changing/bathing, etc: The door to my bedroom was removed, for example, so I could never be alone.

The fact that something like that is permitted to go on is a damning condemnation of the American system. This is WORSE than the polygamist ranch of the Mormon sects. That list literally left me speechless for a minute. I cannot imagine what it must have been like, living in that environment for years.

Have a very nice day.
-fgalkin

[General Zod]

The fact that something like that is permitted to go on is a damning condemnation of the American system. This is WORSE than the polygamist ranch of the Mormon sects. That list literally left me speechless for a minute. I cannot imagine what it must have been like, living in that environment for years.

Have a very nice day.
-fgalkin

I'm not sure why you find this shocking. Almost all of those are incredibly common to the vast majority of fundie families. The only ones that probably would change are things like home-schooling, television, curfew and mingling with the opposite sex. I knew a Mormon family down the road who fit this description almost to a T when I was growing up.

[fgalkin]

The fact that something like that is permitted to go on is a damning condemnation of the American system. This is WORSE than the polygamist ranch of the Mormon sects. That list literally left me speechless for a minute. I cannot imagine what it must have been like, living in that environment for years.

Have a very nice day.
-fgalkin

I'm not sure why you find this shocking. Almost all of those are incredibly common to the vast majority of fundie families. The only ones that probably would change are things like home-schooling, television, curfew and mingling with the opposite sex. I knew a Mormon family down the road who fit this description almost to a T when I was growing up.

It's the combination of the things you've mentioned, plus the complete and utter lack of privacy that makes it so shocking. They are isolating the children from the world to such an extent that they might as well have been raised in a cellar like that Austrian family. Then, there is all the physical abuse in addition to the mental one. To be honest, the fact that Mari is able to function normally in society after all of this this speaks volumes as to her incredible resiliency as a person

Have a very nice day.
-fgalkin

[General Zod]

It's the combination of the things you've mentioned, plus the complete and utter lack of privacy that makes it so shocking. They are isolating the children from the world to such an extent that they might as well have been raised in a cellar like that Austrian family. Then, there is all the physical abuse in addition to the mental one. To be honest, the fact that Mari is able to function normally in society after all of this this speaks volumes as to her incredible resiliency as a person

Have a very nice day.
-fgalkin

Er, I didn't mention it. Duchess did. But the lack of privacy isn't terribly surprising when you consider that they generally don't want their children having access to things they disapprove of regardless of how irrational it might be.

[fgalkin]

It's the combination of the things you've mentioned, plus the complete and utter lack of privacy that makes it so shocking. They are isolating the children from the world to such an extent that they might as well have been raised in a cellar like that Austrian family. Then, there is all the physical abuse in addition to the mental one. To be honest, the fact that Mari is able to function normally in society after all of this this speaks volumes as to her incredible resiliency as a person

Have a very nice day.
-fgalkin

Er, I didn't mention it. Duchess did.

This:

The only ones that probably would change are things like home-schooling, television, curfew and mingling with the opposite sex.

But the lack of privacy isn't terribly surprising when you consider that they generally don't want their children having access to things they disapprove of regardless of how irrational it might be.

Oh of course it's not surprising. It makes complete and perfect sense, really, when you realize they care more about God than the welfare of their children. It's one step removed from those people who deliberately torture their children for kicks, because here they do it for their sky pixie.

Have a very nice day.
-fgalkin

[Adrian Laguna]

To be honest, the fact that Mari is able to function normally in society after all of this this speaks volumes as to her incredible resiliency as a person.

While this is most definitely true, I think there was also an element of luck in that she was able to have access to the outside world through the internet.

[Darth Wong]

What you say is true and they will have to twist scripture out of context to find them. If they are intellectually honest they find things like:

Rom 10:12 For there is no difference between the Jew and the Greek: for the same Lord over all is rich unto all that call upon him.
Gal 3:28 There is neither Jew nor Greek, there is neither bond nor free, there is neither male nor female: for ye are all one in Christ Jesus.
Col 3:11 Where there is neither Greek nor Jew, circumcision nor uncircumcision, Barbarian, Scythian, bond [nor] free: but Christ [is] all, and in all.

In the minor prophet books of the Old Testament, there are entire books devoted to condemnation of interracial marriage.

During the times of the old covenant there are restrictions on marriage this is true. However the lines were not draw by race. Jews and Arabs are of the same heritage.

Don't be such a nitwit. Technically, everyone is of the same heritage. However, you cannot deny that Jews were considered a distinct tribe in that time. In fact, Jewish refusal to integrate into other societies is a well-known historical feature of the group.

All of this was fortold to change in the old testament (torah and book of the prophets). And it did during the coming of the messiah.

I don't care about your insane religious ravings. They are not relevant to the point, which is that they did not need to "twist" the Bible to make it support racism. There is plenty of support for racism right there in the source document.

[The Duchess of Zeon]

To be honest, the fact that Mari is able to function normally in society after all of this this speaks volumes as to her incredible resiliency as a person.

While this is most definitely true, I think there was also an element of luck in that she was able to have access to the outside world through the internet.

Yep. My parents simply had no idea at all about what the internet really was, and I was able to completely hide my usage when they got an unlimited access account on AOL which they thought was just for e-mail.

[The Duchess of Zeon]

To be honest, the fact that Mari is able to function normally in society after all of this this speaks volumes as to her incredible resiliency as a person

Have a very nice day.
-fgalkin

And no therapy or drugs, either! Well, except the occasional glass of wine, and I've had occasional prescriptions for valium. I'm really high-strung, like a racehorse or greyhound, and have severe difficulty sleeping due to the fact any noise will wake me bolt upright. But otherwise, fine. Certainly I have no problem functioning in society, though I hate customer service jobs. But I enjoyed working at a dog kennel that once, even though the job didn't last one because the owners were incompetent fucks. I'll ultimately get my degree, and then I'll know I'll at least be able to survive without the financial support of others afterwards. But no therapy required.

I am however a really exceptionally clingy person--the total lack of affection or contact for my entire childhood has left me in a rather severe need of hugs. I'm frightfully neurotic about physical contact with others, as in, desperately compulsive toward it. Also the total lack of any friends in person--a fact that didn't change until 2006. I basically had no personal interaction with anyone except family and in a professional capacity (doctors, waitresses at restaurants, und so weiter) for a whole decade of my life, 1996 - 2006. I might as well have been living in the Antarctic, with the ASVS community being my only lifeline to the outside world. This despite now being a charming raconteur at table and a fun person to tour old Navy warships with; it really is amazing at times how far things have come for me. But it was certainly that lifeline which kept me from going batshit fucking insane.