Book this guy on three charges of AWESOME.

MKSheppard · Post by **MKSheppard** » 2008-07-31 11:06pm

link

Driver abuses speed limit and himself

PHOEBE STEWART

July 31st, 2008

A TERRITORY man filmed himself speeding at 150km/h while masturbating at the wheel of his drug-laden car, a court heard.

His Holden SV6 was allegedly laden with 5kg of drugs, including two cannabis plants resting on the back seat, the court was told.

Brendon Alan Erhardt, 39, was granted bail so he could marry his girlfriend of six months before he goes to jail.

Prosecutor Sergeant Melinda Edwards said in court the father-of-three told police he "had masturbated while driving'' just before he was stopped for speeding on the 130km/h stretch of the Stuart Hwy.

"(He) also video recorded himself masturbating while travelling at a speed of 150km/h.''

Sgt Edwards said Mr Erhardt -- who was disqualified from driving -- also told officers his act was "not dangerous'' as the "only person he could hurt was himself''.

Darwin Magistrates Court heard Mr Erhardt was stopped by NT police 25km south of Daly Waters on July 16 for allegedly speeding at 147km/h on his way home from Adelaide.

Police noticed he was "visibly agitated'', and when they told him they were going to search his Holden sedan, he said "go right ahead'', Sgt Edwards said.

It is alleged that officers found 4.96kg of cannabis hidden in a blue esky in the boot, two cannabis plants on the back seat, two drug pipes and a loaded .22 rifle.

Sgt Edwards said Mr Erhardt was arrested and told officers he had "found'' the drugs at a rest stop 100km north of Coober Pedy -- and he intended to smoke all of it at his Noonamah home.

Mr Erhardt also told police he had used the rifle to shoot "kangaroos from the vehicle whilst driving north''.

The court heard the cannabis was worth $136,000 if sold by the gram in Darwin -- or double that in indigenous communities.

Mr Erhardt applied twice for bail last week so he could get married before going to jail.

Magistrate Greg Cavanagh said it was "fanciful'' Mr Erhardt had "just found'' the drugs and that it looked like a "courier'' run.

He granted Mr Erhardt $10,000 bail, and his father also posted a $8000 surety.

Mr Erhardt will face court again on September 1.

Ace of Spades wrote:He was booked on three charges: Driving While Awesome, Carrying a Lethal Awesome without License, and Possession of Awesome with Intent to Distribute.

Kanastrous · Post by **Kanastrous** » 2008-07-31 11:08pm

Shooting kangaroos, with a .22?

Mr. Coffee · Post by **Mr. Coffee** » 2008-07-31 11:09pm

That's fucking AWESOME...

Kanastrous · Post by **Kanastrous** » 2008-07-31 11:14pm

It's very Hunter S. Thompson.

Raw Shark · Post by **Raw Shark** » 2008-07-31 11:45pm

Y'know, part of me almost believes his story about finding the huge bag of drugs at a rest stop. I can't think of much else that would make me so exuberant that I had to express it by driving that fast and shooting at kangaroos with my dick in my hand.

What was the drug cartel thinking? Maybe it was: "Send Brendon, he's crazy as a shithouse rat but he'll never talk and that's the main thing, right?"

thejester · Post by **thejester** » 2008-08-01 12:52am

Kanastrous wrote:Shooting kangaroos, with a .22?

Shooting red kangaroos with a .22...

The Northern Territory - deadly animals, inhospitable desert, serial killers, alcoholics, child abusers and now this bloke. What's not to like?

Post by **Alyrium Denryle** » 2008-08-01 12:58am

thejester wrote:
Kanastrous wrote:Shooting kangaroos, with a .22?
Shooting red kangaroos with a .22...

The Northern Territory - deadly animals, inhospitable desert, serial killers, alcoholics, child abusers and now this bloke. What's not to like?

Cane toads?

CaptainZoidberg · Post by **CaptainZoidberg** » 2008-08-01 01:05am

I wonder if they knew he was wanking before they found the tape. I mean, one would think he'd stop when he first saw the police car behind him. But thinking seems to be precisely not what this man was doing.

General Zod · Post by **General Zod** » 2008-08-01 01:16am

CaptainZoidberg wrote:I wonder if they knew he was wanking before they found the tape.

Re-read the article.

Prosecutor Sergeant Melinda Edwards said in court the father-of-three told police he "had masturbated while driving'' just before he was stopped for speeding on the 130km/h stretch of the Stuart Hwy.

Kanastrous · Post by **Kanastrous** » 2008-08-01 02:00am

Alyrium Denryle wrote:
thejester wrote:
Kanastrous wrote:Shooting kangaroos, with a .22?
Shooting red kangaroos with a .22...

The Northern Territory - deadly animals, inhospitable desert, serial killers, alcoholics, child abusers and now this bloke. What's not to like?
Cane toads?

Cane Toads was a great movie.

Sidewinder · Post by **Sidewinder** » 2008-08-01 02:16am

If the police hadn't stopped this guy, he'd likely have won a Darwin Award. I wonder why his girlfriend agreed to marry him? Yeah, crazy might seem cool to some people (who are likely also crazy), but Erhardt didn't even bother to hide the drugs! By speeding, he was practically BEGGING for the police to notice him!

Raw Shark wrote:What was the drug cartel thinking? Maybe it was: "Send Brendon, he's crazy as a shithouse rat but he'll never talk and that's the main thing, right?"

The drug dealer who hired Erhardt must be banging his head against a wall, wondering, "Why the fuck did I hire a lunatic who keeps a loaded weapon in his car, doesn't bother to hide the drugs he's supposed to ship, and does stupid shit that gets cops' attention REAL FAST, like speeding? And he even filmed himself breaking all those laws! What, he didn't think the cops would have enough evidence to convict him?"

CaptainChewbacca · Post by **CaptainChewbacca** » 2008-08-01 03:13am

Post by **weemadando** » 2008-08-01 03:44am

The fucking Sturt Highway, why am I not at all surprised?

Raw Shark · Post by **Raw Shark** » 2008-08-01 06:20am

Sidewinder wrote:
Raw Shark wrote:What was the drug cartel thinking? Maybe it was: "Send Brendon, he's crazy as a shithouse rat but he'll never talk and that's the main thing, right?"
The drug dealer who hired Erhardt must be banging his head against a wall, wondering, "Why the fuck did I hire a lunatic who keeps a loaded weapon in his car, doesn't bother to hide the drugs he's supposed to ship, and does stupid shit that gets cops' attention REAL FAST, like speeding? And he even filmed himself breaking all those laws! What, he didn't think the cops would have enough evidence to convict him?"

That would all fall within the "crazy as a shithouse rat" boundaries in my proposed scenario, yes.

Post by **The Yosemite Bear** » 2008-08-01 10:41pm

Serial Killers?

just a thought, I thought the british sent all the crazies to Tasmania when the country was still a prison, and the Northern part was were the civilized types settled....

Lusankya · Post by **Lusankya** » 2008-08-01 10:57pm

The Yosemite Bear wrote:Serial Killers?

just a thought, I thought the british sent all the crazies to Tasmania when the country was still a prison, and the Northern part was were the civilized types settled....

Nope. The Northern part was where almost nobody settled, because there was a huge-ass desert just south of a region where you get torrential rain three months of the year and then it turns into a desert again for the next nine months. Oh, and the soil's full of bacteria that eat crops. There's a reason the top end hasn't been turned into agricultural land and it's not because Australians like trees.

The Duchess of Zeon · Post by **The Duchess of Zeon** » 2008-08-02 01:42am

Lusankya wrote:
The Yosemite Bear wrote:Serial Killers?

just a thought, I thought the british sent all the crazies to Tasmania when the country was still a prison, and the Northern part was were the civilized types settled....
Nope. The Northern part was where almost nobody settled, because there was a huge-ass desert just south of a region where you get torrential rain three months of the year and then it turns into a desert again for the next nine months. Oh, and the soil's full of bacteria that eat crops. There's a reason the top end hasn't been turned into agricultural land and it's not because Australians like trees.

You know, if you could kill those bacteria, you could probably produce as much rice as Indonesia.

Phantasee · Post by **Phantasee** » 2008-08-02 06:09pm

What kind of highway has a limit of 130km/h? The highest posted limit I've seen in wide-open Alberta is 110km/h.

This guy is a fucking retard, not AWESOME. He'd only have been AWESOME if he hadn't gotten caught. He's closer to the FAIL side of the scale.

tim31 · Post by **tim31** » 2008-08-02 06:21pm

The Duchess of Zeon wrote: You know, if you could kill those bacteria, you could probably produce as much rice as Indonesia.

With your cunning and Shep's destructive streak I'm sure you could come up with such a solution.

As for the rest of the points, kangaroos with a .22- yes. And when I heard this story on the radio I laughed so hard that I had to take my hand of my old boy and slow down to 100kmh.

Mark S · Post by **Mark S** » 2008-08-02 06:37pm

tim31 wrote: And when I heard this story on the radio I laughed so hard that I had to take my hand of my old boy and slow down to 100kmh.

Well played, Sir!

Post by **Gandalf** » 2008-08-02 07:51pm

Phantasee wrote:What kind of highway has a limit of 130km/h? The highest posted limit I've seen in wide-open Alberta is 110km/h.

I used to live there, and there's a whole lot of nothing up that way.

As I understand it, there's a lot of areas that lack speed limits.

tim31 · Post by **tim31** » 2008-08-03 01:33am

Check your google maps of central northern Australia, Phant.

Of course, the risk of unlimited highway zones is that crashes, when they happen, tend to be spectacular, like on the autobahn. Unlike Germany though, you may be several hours from the nearest hospital by helicopter. An impact with a full grown red kangaroo at speed will make mess of the car at best; at worst, it will come through the windscreen, land in the passenger seat still alive, and be very, very frightened.

Phantasee · Post by **Phantasee** » 2008-08-03 02:14pm

tim31 wrote:Check your google maps of central northern Australia, Phant.

There's...there's nothing there! I zoom in and zoom in, and there's nothing there! I don't even see many highways outside of the main one, 87, especially to the west of it. Are there even roads connecting some of these places?

darthbob88 · Post by **darthbob88** » 2008-08-05 02:31pm

Gandalf wrote:
Phantasee wrote:What kind of highway has a limit of 130km/h? The highest posted limit I've seen in wide-open Alberta is 110km/h.
I used to live there, and there's a whole lot of nothing up that way.

As I understand it, there's a lot of areas that lack speed limits.

Aye. From what I have been told, in parts of Nevada there are only Autobahn-style "whatever speed you like" limits in place. A friend of my dad reported driving through Nevada at 150 mph or so, when a police cruiser passed him like he was standing still. When he caught up with the officer later, the cop said that his speedometer had topped out, but from his tachometer he believed he was cruising along at 210mph. This may, of course, be bullshit, but when the law is going that fast, there probably aren't speed limits in place.

CaptainChewbacca · Post by **CaptainChewbacca** » 2008-08-05 02:40pm

Hey, how many hands does this guy have, anyway? Camera, Wheel, and Wang.

Seems those 3 are essential to the act.