Star Wars: Clone Wars film (Minimal spoilers)

[TK-984]

Ok, so I screened Star Wars Clone Wars today (I'm a film projectionist, so I was paid to watch). I thought I'd zip on by and post some of my initial reactions to what I had seen.

Suspicions confirmed, it's definitely kiddie oriented. Oh, boy, and when I say kiddie oriented, I fucking mean it.

- It starts up OK: you get the Lucasfilm logo, the aural track is littered with sounds of battle. The screen goes black and we get the familiar "Long time ago..."

- And right away you are asking yourself "What the fuck?" -- The fucking John Williams score is reconfigured into a jazzy up-tempo piece of shit. When the "STAR WARS: CLONEWARS" logo fades into the background, the scrolling text we all love and expect is instead replaced by NARRATION. Narration in cheesy WWII newsreel fashion. I admit, I chuckled: It was kind of like Starship Troopers (and who doesn't like Starship Troopers), then I remembered I was watching STAR WARS.

- Again, the music sucked dick for the most part. There were sections that worked, although they felt like lifts from movies like Gladiator or Black Hawk Down -- with the Mediterranean/Middle Eastern feeling to it.

- Animation style sucked balls at Film resolution. For TV, this shit is downright amazing. Anyone remember watching Reboot? This thing is a great example of cost effective animation for the serialized visual medium.

- Battle droids are retarded as fuck. Seriously, these things have reached new heights of stupidity in this film.

- Clones with different hairstyles/hair color.

- Jabba's son is a baby, several attempts at making shit cute.

- Minimalist starship battles/ground combat. "War is fun!" attitude. Actually, now that I think back, the actual CLONE WARS felt like an after thought.

- Minimal characterization other than falling back into cliche interaction. Ahsoka and Anakin are both whiny bitches. This thing felt downright rushed, and downright unimportant.

- Padme is really surprised at the idea of Anakin killing a Hutt child. What? Where the has she been?

- R2-D2's rockets allow him to fly fair distance and great heights?

That's it for now.

[Illuminatus Primus]

Lucas and the Ranch have given up on their fanbase from the original films and the older one for their new ones. They don't want to bother to maintain the production quality necessary to keep them, so they just want to beat the same horse over and over - bring in little kids and get them to become mindless mechandise-consumption drones.

[Cykeisme]

It would've made a pretty good TV pilot.. but I'm not sure why it was made a theatrical release.

[Darth Hoth]

I believe I have made my expectations for this film clear before, as well as my opinion of "Evil" and his production staff.

But from what you say, it appears I once more underestimated them. Really, those lines about the intro say it all.

[Bounty]

It's getting mauled by the critics. Even the prequel movies tended to get at least average reviews; Clone Wars is at 31% on RT, and falling, as it came from 38 this afternoon.

[Jim Raynor]

Damn it. While the prequels did indeed have their flaws (I'm certainly not an apologist fanwhore), the Lucas-bashing was always overhyped. Fanboys with exceedingly high expectations dramatically proclaimed TPM to be "the worst movie ever" (if the SW prequels are really the worst movies you've ever seen, then you've been remarkably fortunate), scifi geeks practically fell over themselves trying to prove their nerd cred by hating on the movies, and the media jumped on the bandwagon. The actual facts were far less damning than some people would have you believe: the prequels still made a shitload of money, even TPM got a Rotten Tomatoes score in the 60s qualifying as "Fresh," and SW is still a viable franchise (unlike The Matrix after Revolutions came out).

Whatever the case, Lucas did well by hitting a homerun with ROTS. Reviews were strong, and far fewer people thought it was cool to bash it compared to the two other prequels. The overexxagerated SW/Lucas bashing was silenced for a few years.

The nerd hate started resurfacing this year though, with the new Indiana Jones. That was NOT a bad movie; it got positive reviews and also made a ton of money from audiences. Compared to the SW prequels its criticism was mild, and its detractors were a relatively few jaded fanboys bitching from the sidelines rather than a mainstream opinion. But the Lucas hate was coming back, at least stronger than it had been in 2005.

Now comes Clone Wars, which won't be doing any favors for Lucas or the SW brand. I had questioned the stylistic choices they made for the movie and the upcoming animated series. Some of the animation looks great, and even some of the characters' faces look passable. Others, like Yoda or Count Dooku, look like freaking video game characters from 1999. Seriously, whhat the HELL is with Dooku's solid polygonal beard? It's almost like they CHOSE to make it look crappy, kind of like the 2-D Clone Wars series a few years ago which intentionally tried to emulate the style of Samurai Jack (I thought the series was good after you got past the initial crappiness of the designs). This movie being kiddie-oriented and of questionable weight to begin with (if this Asoka character was important to the SW saga then we would have ALREADY heard of her; Clone Wars will obviously come across as filler) will also hurt SW's image. I question the decision to even release it in theaters, rather than as a Direct-to-DVD or episodes of the TV series.

So far, Clone Wars has a 27% score at Rotten Tomatoes. Good going Lucas. Get ready for a new wave of SW-hate.

[Illuminatus Primus]

Hey, I think a lot of things before Lucas, but that doesn't mean any of his movies belong with dreck like Revolutions and Reloaded. And Indiana Jones was damn good (only the vine-swinging was cringe-worthily stupid).

[Jim Raynor]

Hey, I think a lot of things before Lucas, but that doesn't mean any of his movies belong with dreck like Revolutions and Reloaded. And Indiana Jones was damn good (only the vine-swinging was cringe-worthily stupid).

They don't, and I certainly didn't mean to compare the prequels to the shitty ass Matrix sequels. I was contrasting them to give people perspective. The SW prequels didn't come close to sinking the SW franchise the way some whinging fanboys say; a real example of franchise-destruction is Revolutions. NOBODY gives a shit about the Matrix anymore even though it was so damny hip and cool just a few years ago, while SW can still produce books, games, TV shows, and theatrical movies.

I liked Indiana Jones, and apparently the vast majority of people did as well. It's just that if you read internet reviews, you'll find a few jaded, bitchy people proclaiming the latest Indie movie as "the worst movie ever," a sign that Lucas hating was coming back into the vogue.

[Illuminatus Primus]

I think that the Clone Wars does not look like a good project, and he's letting his childish superficiality and whimsy get to him.

[TK-984]

It would've made a pretty good TV pilot.. but I'm not sure why it was made a theatrical release.

This is exactly what I was thinking to myself as I watched it. I'm working tonight during its midnight premier, I'll try and gauge audience reactions. I'm also interested in what costumes are going to show up.

Oh, yeah, before I forget: I never saw those retro Y-Wings in this movie, I guess they'll show up in the series.

[Anguirus]

Dammit, I was afraid of this. A big-budget CW series in the vein of Tartakovsky's first effort had real potential. The Clone Wars micro-series was shallow, but very cool. It looks like this show is just inheriting the shallow part, which is embarrassing because Tartakovsky was working with 3 minute time slots.

[Galvatron]

I'm shitting myself with laughter.

[Old Plympto]

What happens when Battlestar Galactica VFX wizard Darth Mojo goes to a charity event screening?

First he comments on the event outside.

Then he gives a spoiler-free review.

P.S. Does anyone know who Darth Mojo is? Gary Hutzel? Some Zoic guy?

[Jim Raynor]

Eh, this Darth Mojo guy comes across as one of those bitchy Lucas/SW prequels/Crystal Skull-hating fans who cry about how "Lucas raped my childhood." He talks like the prequels, ROTS and all, are the worst things he's ever seen, and says that Clone Wars is BETTER than them despite being kiddie-oriented and having a bunch of stupid and cringe-worthy things.

Granted, I haven't seen Clone Wars yet, but I seriously doubt that's the case. It certainly won't make as much money from audiences, or come even close to how the critics regarded the prequels (which again, was never as bad as it was made out to be).

Clone Wars is probably "better" than the live-action SW movies the way that fucking worthless fanfilm Revelations was (and yes, I remember bitchy fanboys actually saying that).

[Stark]

Dammit, I was afraid of this. A big-budget CW series in the vein of Tartakovsky's first effort had real potential. The Clone Wars micro-series was shallow, but very cool. It looks like this show is just inheriting the shallow part, which is embarrassing because Tartakovsky was working with 3 minute time slots.

I actually think it's sad that the response to the cartoon was 'a bit wanky, and some people dont' like the art', so they made this movie... which is just as bad. Hilarious!

Ironically, I wish more of the EU was like that cartoon. It had things happen with big fights everywhere and characterisation not based on droning monologues or I REALLY LIKE CORRAN HORN GUYZ.

And competent commandoes, which then appeared in a terrible corridor stroller of sadness.

[Fingolfin_Noldor]

Well, my expectations weren't high, and I was only planning to watch the movie, only to see how bad it would be.

That said, I won't be buying any Star Wars merchandise for a while.

[Shannon]

Just got back from seeing it.

The Good:
Nothing much in terms of story or characterisation. A few mildly interesting tech notes:
- Obi-Wan's starfighter, while of the same lineage as a Delta-7 Aethersprite, is a different model, as the R4 droid socket is now on the centreline, and it has two single-barrel laser cannon instead of the two split-barrel guns of the earlier model;
- The shuttle used by the GAR troops has AFAIK not been seen before;
- AT-TE walkers can climb vertical surfaces, maintaining a grip with four legs only if necessary. However a noticeable weakness is the driver's viewport, which is targeted several times;
- Padme uses her starship (the one she took to Mustafar) to get around Coruscant (she calls her destination 'downtown'. WTF? The whole planet is a city!). Threepio later uses the H-Type she took to Tatooine in AOTC to follow her;
-The droids attacking Anakin's ship above Tatooine are apparently flying Utapauan P-38s, which seems a bit odd.

Overall, the VFX wrt tech were pretty good. The expanding theatre shield covering the separatist advance was in retrospect an obvious tactic, but not at all a bad idea. Did anyone else notice that Ob-Wan suffered no ill effects when the shield passed over him (everyone else was protected in some way). The lightsabre duels were also well done. Interesting to note that Dooku's command of the Force still exceeds Anakin's at this point, though Anakin is by no means flattened. It was also unclear as to whether Ventress really did suceed in using the Force to mind trick the ARC Captain Rex, or whether he faked it (calling Anakin by his first name).

The Bad:
The music used in the opening. The music used in the rest of the movie wasn't so bad.
The predictability of the dialogue and plot. Even when there was an attempt at developing characterisation, it is predictable (Obi-Wan is still the master of cool though). The whole sideshow with Padme and Jabba's uncle felt contrived to bring Padme into the story. It really added very little.

The Ugly:
The opening sequence, as already mentioned (though the visuals gave me hope it would get better).
The battle droids are just pathetic and played solely for laughs in several scenes. Actually, they aren't consistent: in some battle scenes, they are mindless, efficient soldier drones. In others, they're comedians. The same also holds true for the clones at times; while generally good, sometimes they appear to charge recklessly into droid ranks and engage them hand to hand without rhyme or reason! Which leads me straight into:
The kiddification. I saw two interviews, one with Lucas and one with director Dave Filoni, by the same Kiwi journo. Lucas declared that the movie was aimed at kids, unlike the angst of the live-action trilogies (at which point I wondered about who he aimed the Ewoks at). Filoni said he wanted a movie that had something for everyone and that even though it was animation, he wanted to make it like there was a camera on-scene, filming the action. This gave me hope, which GL crushed today. It look like Filoni tried, but the story just doesn't have the depth to back it up (The journo commented after seeing it that the movie felt like it had no soul, and I'm now inclined to agree). I felt like I was watching a video game, which was NOT how I felt watching the old Clone Wars series (which as someone has said was more like Samurai Jack). Honestly, I kept expecting the characters to hop around like game icons. This has game merchandising written all over it. Even though it's a 'kids' movie (and is I suppose OK if looked at from that POV), it is inferior to the older Clone Wars series and the Timmverse.

Overall rating: 2/5

[Bounty]

Meanwhile, it's sunk to 21% on RT, putting it on-par with such modern classics as Spawn and the sequel to Scooby-Doo. The first two positive reviews:

Instead of getting something special, you’re left with the impression the last few dollars are being wrung from a franchise that should’ve been put to bed 25 years ago. Still, kids should enjoy it.

Oh, George Lucas. Please stop diluting the franchise.

I wonder how it's doing at the box office.

[Dooey Jo]

It's mind-boggling that they chose to release this as a film and not a TV series pilot. Still, since they did, the smart people in charge of the Swedish distribution naturally thought "oh, animated film. Must produce dub", as they always do (they even dubbed the Simpsons movie, even though they don't dub the show), and that's probably hilariously bad enough to produce a few laughs. Probably not enough to warrant any spending of money though.

[Darth Hoth]

What, are they really dubbing it? Now I almost fell like watching it.

[NecronLord]

Having seen it, I'll say it far exceeded my expectations, having read this thread. The droid humour was very silly. But the worst bits were just one droid (the Sergeant) which could be rationalised as it simply being defective.

And it got me to laugh. "Good boy!"

[Connor MacLeod]

I'm not expecting much from the movie, since its rather obviously (basically) done in the same vein as the Micro Series - fun in the same sense as Transformers (shut your brain off and it probably is enjoyable.) but its not going to be much more than a popcork flick or kiddie/family movie.

The one thing I am curious to know about is how the AT-TEs firing on warship scene comes off. I know there have been people crowing "SW is going down" supposedly because of alot of the stuff in the movie (like that doesn't happen every time something new comes out.)

[VT-16]

It's not in the movie, but in the series. And it seems like a sneak attack to help the fleet, rather than something the AT-TE's can handle on their own. Unless they use different ordnance, as suggested in older sources.

[NecronLord]

I must admit, when they rescued the huttlet from an apparently uninhabited jungle planet, in an Acclamator, I would have paid the ticket price twice again to have had the Acclamator blow the place to hell. Just to hear the screaming from certain quarters.

[Darth Hoth]

Reviewing the Swedish morning dailies for their reviews, the best thing anyone has to say is apparently that the inclusion of "Mini-Hooker" sets "a proud new standard by introducing the first female Jedi and addressing the gender imbalance issues inherent in the Star Wars saga".