Al-Qaeda losing in Iraq - because of Cucumber policy?

[Shroom Man 777]

If that's the case, then what the hell is wrong with those people?

[Aratech]

IIRC there was an Ayatollah in Iran some 25 years ago who wanted to ban pictures of cows since their udders were sexually stimulating for men...

Figures. Just as soon as I think that I've heard the most moronic statement possible, someone comes along and one ups it.

[Broomstick]

Don't most garden-grown cucumbers have those nasty little spines? YIKES!

Ya, but they're easy to rub off with your fingers - what, you think I eat the spikes? Haven't you ever had a garden?

[chitoryu12]

IIRC there was an Ayatollah in Iran some 25 years ago who wanted to ban pictures of cows since their udders were sexually stimulating for men...

Figures. Just as soon as I think that I've heard the most moronic statement possible, someone comes along and one ups it.

You know, there was the chance that they might have actually been right. Scary, yes, but possible nonetheless.

[Junghalli]

You know, there was the chance that they might have actually been right. Scary, yes, but possible nonetheless.

Rule 36:

No matter what it is, it is somebody's fetish. No exceptions.



Curiously, I've noted a similar rule seems to apply to belief system systems. No matter what it is, somebody thinks it's true. No exceptions.

[Sidewinder]

Then how are the doctors going to perform circumcision?

Muslim fundamentalists are opposed to women having any jobs other than housewife, so the obvious answer is they (fundies) only allow men to become doctors.

[Darth Wong]

IIRC there was an Ayatollah in Iran some 25 years ago who wanted to ban pictures of cows since their udders were sexually stimulating for men...

Figures. Just as soon as I think that I've heard the most moronic statement possible, someone comes along and one ups it.

If you've been living in the desert for long enough, in a country where rich guys get harems of 50 women apiece so that you get none, maybe you might start finding cows attractive too

[Adrian Laguna]

If you've been living in the desert for long enough, in a country where rich guys get harems of 50 women apiece so that you get none, maybe you might start finding cows attractive too

The Koran actually puts a limit on how many wives a man may have, I think it's three or four. That will still, however, leave a significant portion of the population with no prospect of finding a partner.

[Junghalli]

Muslim fundamentalists are opposed to women having any jobs other than housewife, so the obvious answer is they (fundies) only allow men to become doctors.

He was thinking of what might happen if you pointed out that only men being able to touch "suggestive" objects sounds kind of gay.

"So, uh, women can't handle cucumbers because they're phallic but guys can ... ?"

"Well shit, we never thought of it that way. When you put it like that ... Nobody can touch cucumbers! Nobody! On pain of death! Quick, write up the fatwa!"

[Akhlut]

If you've been living in the desert for long enough, in a country where rich guys get harems of 50 women apiece so that you get none, maybe you might start finding cows attractive too

The Koran actually puts a limit on how many wives a man may have, I think it's three or four. That will still, however, leave a significant portion of the population with no prospect of finding a partner.

Doesn't matter what the religious limit on wives is; rulers and nobles will take as many women as they can get. The Ottoman sultans did have enormous harems just for themselves. Plus, Christian kings often had a ton of concubines.

So, even some of the more religious men in power are going to have a lot more women than they're supposed to have if their religion outlaws that sort of thing.

[Pelranius]

I think the polygamy thing in Islam resulted from back in the early days when there were a lot of widows to go around, since the Arab tribes, in addition to living in harsh conditions, also went to war every other weekend of peace. That's how my Muslim roommate explained it to me, anyways.

[JointStrikeFighter]

Well from what the interpreters have told me about half of the men in Iraq have sex with sheep, donkeys, and other farm animals. Shit quite a few of our terps are admitted shep fuckers. The reason why a man is able to but a cucumber in Iraq is that his boat is allowed to float anyways he wants whether male, female, or farm variety so long as he procreates. Women here are for farm work and procreation and they are to have no pleasure; many Iraqi males consider pleasure to be found elsewhere, yes this country is all fubar.

Shit quite a few of our terps are admitted shep fuckers

shep fuckers

shep fuckers

SHEP FUCKERS

[Aratech]

If you've been living in the desert for long enough, in a country where rich guys get harems of 50 women apiece so that you get none, maybe you might start finding cows attractive too

The Koran actually puts a limit on how many wives a man may have, I think it's three or four. That will still, however, leave a significant portion of the population with no prospect of finding a partner.

I believe its four, and you are supposed to support all of them equally, if my understanding is correct. Of course, as was pointed out, limits like that don't really stop people in positions of power. Throughout history and modern times, the 'Alpha Males' always get a larger hunk of what's available, on account of they've got the power and the wealth to back their positions up.

[Broomstick]

The Koran definitely limits the number of a man's wives to four, and it also mandates that he must provide equally for all. So if one gets her own house, they all get their own house (as an example). No putting one wife before the others.

Of course, in practice this is not always followed.

It's also why the majority of married Muslim men only have one wife - that's all they can afford to support.

[Duckie]

I think the polygamy thing in Islam resulted from back in the early days when there were a lot of widows to go around, since the Arab tribes, in addition to living in harsh conditions, also went to war every other weekend of peace. That's how my Muslim roommate explained it to me, anyways.

That's true, although the limit on wives in Islam is actually a reformist thing. Islam was sort of like Christianity in the regard that it fixed Arab Paganism's downsides- polygamy, for instance, by the rules that Broomstick outlined above, which was a pretty good reason to support it. Islam also has a very, very complete legal code and moral code to go along with it-

Hell, going back to the sheep thing, I'm pretty sure that an Ayatollah in Iran or Iraq (I forget which) had a website which actually explained to Muslim visitors the proper way to ritually make yourself clean again after having sex with a Goat. I wonder if it was different depending on the gender of the goat.

[Duckie]

ghetto edit- the sentences in that post made sense to me when I posted it.

By "downsides, and thus it made sense to support it" I meant, like, it was a reform of social conditions for the average arab man and so was a sensible thing for him to support as far as new religions- it coincided with his interests.

[Broomstick]

It also coincided with the interests of women at the time - being the unregarded 14th wife of a man could be hellish. There are various other rules that, compared to the alternatives at the time, were a definite improvement.

However, I feel that Islam is now the "backward" standard, as others have moved forward since that time. Just my opinion.

[Sidewinder]

Hell, going back to the sheep thing, I'm pretty sure that an Ayatollah in Iran or Iraq (I forget which) had a website which actually explained to Muslim visitors the proper way to ritually make yourself clean again after having sex with a Goat. I wonder if it was different depending on the gender of the goat.

Ayatollah Khomeini supposedly wrote about bestiality, but some believe the writings are a forgery.

Views of zoophilia's seriousness in Islam seem to cover a wide spectrum. This may be because it is not explicitly mentioned or prohibited in the Qur'an, or because sex and sexuality were not treated as taboo in Muslim society to the same degree as in Christianity. Some sources claim that sex with animals is abhorrent, others state that while condemned, it is treated with "relative indulgence" and in a similar category to masturbation and lesbianism (Bouhdiba: Sexuality in Islam, Ch.4 link).

A book "Tahrirolvasyleh", cited on the Internet, which quotes the Shia Ayatollah Khomeini approving of sex with animals under certain conditions, is unconfirmed and possibly a forgery.[42] Though the book Tahrir-ul-Vasyleh does exist, there is widespread suspicion concerning the existence and authenticity of such a "fourth book".

The cite itself is widespread, <snip links> however it is contested whether such a fourth volume of Tahrirolvasyleh ever in fact existed (see relevant article for more). No evidence of verified translations or cited references seems to be found in the hands of independent (Western) or other notable Islamic scholars and the main sources seem to be anti-Islamic in nature.

If you're curious what Khomeini allegedly said, here's a link and a quote.

A man can have sex with animals such as sheep¹s, cows, camels and so on. However he should kill the animal after he has his orgasm. He should not sell the meat to the people in his own village, however selling the meat to the next door village should be fine.

From Khomeini's book, "Tahrirolvasyleh", fourth volume, Darol Elm, Gom,
Iran, 1990

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"If one commits the act of sodomy with a cow, a ewe, or a camel, their urine and their excrements become impure, and even their milk may no longer be consumed. The animal must then be killed and as quickly as possible and burned."

The little green book, Sayings of Ayatollah Khomeini, Political, Phylosophica, Social and Religious with a special introduction by Clive Irving, ISBN number 0-553-14032-9, page 47

As for what the Koran itself had to say on bestiality, here's another link and quote.

'God has cursed those who alter the frontiers of the earth.'1 In these terms the prophet condemns any violation of the separation of the sexes. Tradition has it that four categories of person incur the anger of God: 'Men who dress themselves as women and women who dress themselves as men, those who sleep with animals and those who sleep with men.'2 Homosexuality (liwat)3 incurs the strongest condemnation. It is identified with zina and it is advocated that the most horrible punishment should be applied to those who indulge in it.

In the final analysis, liwat even designates all forms of sexual and parasexual perversion. Nevertheless, in Islam, male homosexuality stands for all the perversions and constitutes in a sense the depravity of depravities. Female homosexuality (musahaqa), while equally condemned, is treated with relative indulgence and those who indulge in it incur only the same reprimand as those condemned for auto-eroticism, bestiality or necrophilia.4

[Adrian Laguna]

Of course, in order to be convicted of committing homosexuality, there must be four adult male witnesses to that actual act.

[CaptainChewbacca]

Of course, in order to be convicted of committing homosexuality, there must be four adult male witnesses to that actual act.

Somebody tell Ein he's not gay under islamic law!

[Ender]

Well from what the interpreters have told me about half of the men in Iraq have sex with sheep, donkeys, and other farm animals. Shit quite a few of our terps are admitted shep fuckers. The reason why a man is able to but a cucumber in Iraq is that his boat is allowed to float anyways he wants whether male, female, or farm variety so long as he procreates. Women here are for farm work and procreation and they are to have no pleasure; many Iraqi males consider pleasure to be found elsewhere, yes this country is all fubar.

"a woman for procreation, a man for pleasure, a goat for ecstasy ". Repress the sex drive and people are gonna act out. When I had my unwilling layover in Bahrain we were warned against going out alone at night because male service members had been getting roofie colladas and raped by local men.

Of course, in order to be convicted of committing homosexuality, there must be four adult male witnesses to that actual act.

Somebody tell Ein he's not gay under islamic law!

This is Einy we are talking about here. He is probably still gay.

[Elfdart]

Don't most garden-grown cucumbers have those nasty little spines? YIKES!

Ya, but they're easy to rub off with your fingers - what, you think I eat the spikes? Haven't you ever had a garden?

I peel my garden cucumbers, thank you very much!

[Broomstick]

I peel mine, too, but I still rub the spikes off after I pick 'em just 'cause I don't like getting poked when I reach for a vegetable.

[salm]

A reporter at Der Spiegel (only German) suggests that this story is likely to be an urban legend.
The Daily Telegraph article is from Reuters who again cite a sunni sheik.
There is a similar story from 2007 in which sais that al-Qaida had warned merchants to put tomatoes next to cucumbers. The source are US-commanders.
A third source of similar storys is a Swiss newspaper called "Weltwoche" which has some very similarly absurd storys.

What makes him sceptical is another newspaper article from 2007 which is about how Iraqis joke about the absurdity of al qaida. These jokes were about how if al qaida had its way it would be illegal to have tomatoes and cucumbres on the same plate and you would have to put underwared on goats.

The guy concludes that it can not be ruled out that this stuff happens just that the storys reek of bullshit.

[Androsphinx]

A reporter at Der Spiegel (only German) suggests that this story is likely to be an urban legend.
The Daily Telegraph article is from Reuters who again cite a sunni sheik.
There is a similar story from 2007 in which sais that al-Qaida had warned merchants to put tomatoes next to cucumbers. The source are US-commanders.
A third source of similar storys is a Swiss newspaper called "Weltwoche" which has some very similarly absurd storys.

What makes him sceptical is another newspaper article from 2007 which is about how Iraqis joke about the absurdity of al qaida. These jokes were about how if al qaida had its way it would be illegal to have tomatoes and cucumbres on the same plate and you would have to put underwared on goats.

The guy concludes that it can not be ruled out that this stuff happens just that the storys reek of bullshit.

Interesting. As I said when I posted the article, this sounds so much like what some of the anti-terrorism people have been recommending that I wasn't sure if it actually happened. To be honest, that would be just as impressive.