Yeah, I just started playing ME through again as the Ruthless personality type and...ugh. Ruthless doesn't mean you're a xenophobic prick; it means you're willing to do whatever it takes to accomplish your goals.
Which is exactly how I played the character. I did whatever it took to accomplish my goals. I wasn't a xenophobe. What made you think "Ruthless" pegs you in to anything?
"Sole Survivor", "War Hero", "Ruthless" have
nothing to do with the choices you make in the game, you know that, right? It dictates your backstory, affects some dialog in the game, and gives an extremely minor to Paragon and Renegade scores depending on which you pick.
It's quite open to you to choose "Ruthless" at the start and then roleplay as someone who regrets what he did at Torfan.
How does badmouthing the people who are trying to help you improve your chances of getting the job done?
What has "Ruthless" got to do with bad-mouthing people? Very few of the dialog choices where you badmouth someone have any effect on your Paragon/ Renegade score. But why shouldn't they give you the option to play like a prick? I enjoy it, quite frankly.
When I saw "Ruthless" I was expecting a cold-blooded bastard who didn't go out of his way to be cruel but wouldn't hesitate to do some fairly horrible things if it was the only way to get the job done. I really enjoy the gameplay but I gave up very early on out of sheer annoyance.
Even a "Look, I don't really like the aliens either, but we don't have to LIKE them, we have to WORK WITH THEM" would have been better than the outright "everyone who isn't human sucks" approach.
You do know that your character practically says exactly that in conversation in the game, if you want him/ her to?
All the major options in the game aren't "cartoonishly evil", unlike KOTOR's ridiculous black/white fallacy. ME's a vast improvement.
Heck, the only cartoon-evil option in the game is telling Anoleis on Noveria that Gianna is with IA. They kill each other, it's awesome.