SDNWorld Redux: Story Thread the First.

[Shroom Man 777]

LIVE on ShroomSatTV
The Sovereign Shroomanian Sentinel
MACMILLAN MAGNANIMITY

The MacMillan Megacorporation has announced the huge success of several of its joint ventures in the civilian and military sectors, success that has netted it billions in capital.

The first announcement was that of a year's end tally that revealed the opening of no less than three hundred new branches of MacMillan's wildly popular fast food restaurant chain.


MacMill's, a world-class fast food chain known for delicious foods.

The MacMill fast food chain's success were most evident in PeZookia, Canissia and, surprisingly, in the Old Dominion. The recent scare over mutagen-tainted crabs has caused a change in the Old Dominion restaurant preferences that benefited the Shroomanian megacorporation.

Financial analysts believe that MacMillan's edgy and extreme advertisement campaign also helped proliferate MacMill's delicious hamburgers.


MacMill's edgy and extreme ad campaign featuring a wildly popular and extremely deranged clown.

Similarly edgy and extreme is the MacMillan MultiMedia's DEGENATRON games machine, which is now being sold to gamers all over the world.


Edgy and extreme, the DEGENATRON comes with blood stains to appeal to the sociopathic teen demographic.

Game publishers in Langley and Japanistan are working with MacMillan Multi Media to create ever more violent video game titles, including a massive multiplayer online roleplaying game about Japanistani samurai decapitating dishonorable gaijin for DEGENERATION POINTS which can be used to purchase things, such as seal furs and dolphin meat, online.

Another civilian success story is the sale of MacMillan's heavy industrial digging machine - dubbed the Titan Trasher by its San Doradoan purchasers.


The Titan Trasher lays waste to the untamed wilderness of Frequesue.

The Titan Trasher's exploits have been so successful that the San Dorado corporate government is discussing the possibility of purchasing a second Trasher.

The recent internationalist of the Megacorporation knows no bounds, as it has even begun working together with the design bureaus of the communistic Crimson Star Republic in developing cybernetic biotechnology.


The latest field of cybernetic biotechnology - cyborg monkeys.

In other news, the recent conflicts around the world has also proved profitable for the Megacorporation. The Duchy of Langley, Principality of Sirnoth, and the Byzantine Empire have begun purchasing the latest MacMillan 4.5th generation combat aircraft - while the Canissians have expressed interests in acquiring their own planes.


F-16XLs for the Langleys, Sirnoths, and perhaps the Canissians.


F-15 ACTIVEs for the Byzantines.

Even in Velaria, the government of Akori has begun negotiations to acquire new Jericho Missiles for their defense forces.

*click*

[Master_Baerne]

Baernish Ministry of War
Public Communique
FROM: Her Excellency Countess Truman, Minister for War, in consultation with His Excellency Count Tealdo, Subminister for Procurement
TO: All Interested Parties

In combination with the expansion of the Baernish Ducal Army, we fully intend to obtain new equiptment for the Air Force and Navy, to aid in the modernization of the Sovereign Duchy of Baerne. Therefore, the Air Force requests that anyone willing to offer approximately 40 bombers speak with the Subminister for Procurement's office.

Also, the BDN greatly desires a carrier, so anyone willing to sell one for less than we could build it ourselves should please tell us.

[DarthShady]

Shady News

Joint Army Exercise

Armed Forces of Byzantium and the USSR are holding a Joint Army Exercise in the North-Eastern part of the USSR. This exercise is meant to increase combat readiness of both armies and give some of the new members of the USSR army additional combat experience.


Armoured forces of the USSR participating in the exercise


Infantry, doing what they do best

*click*

Location: Classified, Brotherhood of Nod Headquarters

"Is Natasha ready?", asked Kane.

"Yes, she has infiltrated Sjenska already and made contact with our agents there.", said one of the men in black, "She waits for your orders."

"No.", Kane said with a smile, "She waits for the presidents orders, and she might wait for a while."

"Why, Sir?"

"There have been some complications, nothing you should know about. Dismissed."

"Yes, Sir."

As the two men in black left, Kane was wondering if the plan would be delayed even more. "Time will tell.", he thought to himself and grabbed a black folder of his desk. The folder was marked LEGION.

[Raj Ahten]

Operation Omega Blue Underway

Operation Omega Blue was Indhopal's code name for its ground offensive into Omango. Its goal was to relieve Coilerburg and destroy Omango's and Sabika's armies. Indhopal had committed the Veteran 1st and untested 4th divisions to the operation. The forces that had just pulled out of the CFR formed a strategic reserve.

The operation opened with a massive artillery barrage on the Omangon defensive positions some 15 miles inside that country. They had made a fortified line with minefields and manned it with around two brigades of reservists. They really had no chance. Indhopal had moved up all its heavy rocket artillery, which simply annihilated everything with a rain of deadly bomblets.



Indhopal's air force also did its part, dropping bombs on any targets the forward observers deemed necessary.


The defensive line with its mine fields and infantry was overrun in less than three hours. Omango and Sabika hadn't expected it hold out long if Indhopal had intervened. Their planners had banked on the line lasting at least a few days though. They rushed their one armored regiment in the South to counter Indhopal's assault.


They starting getting bombed at once, and attack helicopters swooped in on the unit as well. Indhopal's over flights had confirmed the unit was in the area ad once it was moving, the aerial hunters could easily kill it. Despite heavy losses, the Omangon armored regiment doggedly advanced to contact with elements of Indhopal's elite 1st armored Regiment.

Omango's outdated force was no match for Indhopal's modern vehicles in open combat. With the addition of total air superiority for Indhopal, the First Armored regiment thoroughly routed their opposition. The door was now open to the center of Omango and Sabika.

The First and Fourth divisions then began their race to the north.



Their goal was to cut the supplies of the enemies armies attacking Coilerburg. This accomplished, the 2nd Paras and elements of the 7th Marines inside Coilerburg would counterattack along with Coilerburg's forces. Omango's and Sabika's armies would then be surrounded and destroyed.

[Grand Moff Yenchin]

Anonymous Village, Somewhere in Katangwa

Dr. Herbert West searched the ground. According to the villagers, this was the place where the "demonous girl" was stoned a couple of weeks ago. The ground was full of dirt, which was kicked all over the place throughout the weeks.

But then he found it....a dry patch of blood. "This is it...!!!!" He then gestured his assistant to start digging up the dirt.

A few hours later the dirt was washed, centrifuged, and the suspension was poured onto filter paper and left to dry. The paper was then ripped into different pieces and covered with sarine wrap and distributed within different places in his luggage, and jacket.

A few days later...

Miskatonic University, Kingdom of Serenity

Dr. West's assistant, Dan Cain, was checking the cytopathic effects of various cell cultures under the microscope.

It has been the 3rd day since the samples were inoculated within the cells, and each day there were amazing results. The CPEs...they shouldn't even be called "cytopathic", more like cytoenhance, or cyto..augment?...Whatever.

He collected the data in the past 3 days and showed the results to Dr. West.

"Very interesting indeed. Keep on recording and harvesting until a week. Make sure to get some good pictures. I'll start preparing the application for research funds..."

A few more days later...

Royal Palace

The Director of the Bureau of Health, Dr. Que Bian, requested to visit the King in person.

"Your Majesty, we have a disturbing discovery." Dr. Bian presented his laptop, which showed the research applications for funding from the BoH. He clicked on the name "Herbert West".

Yenchin immediately recognized the data.

"How many people know this?"

"Only me, Dr. West, and his assistant.....Sir, do we need to report this to Leeward Isle?"

".....I think not since that means at best he'll have to work there. I'm interested in what an independent researcher will uncover. According to this application, he became curious of a report of an individual in Katangwa and bothered to go there and get a sample. Now that's some motivation and unorthodox thinking."

"So...we'll pass this proposal?"

"Yes, but not under BoH funding, I think we can use the Byzantium-Serenity Joint Research Fund on this. I'll inform Emperor Heraclius."

"Yes Sir."

"And this needs to be kept classified. I don't think the Miskatonic University would be good enough."

"Your Majesty, there is an aslyum near the university which hasn't been used in years, we might be able to setup a lab for him, and...if this turns out to be big, the whole place can be converted into a facility."

"Good."

After Dr. Bian left, Yenchin switched on his encrypted hotline, and sent a message to the Imperial Palace in Byzantium.

[Siege]

Future Arsenal Warfare System Project -- Naval Branch
Submittal To All Participating FTO Members

Design Report
Gizmonic Institute / Blues Brothers Shipping

Standard class Guided Missile Destroyer
A Sovereign Duchy of Baerne / Corporate Republic of San Dorado Joint Venture

Displacement: 9,000 tons
Length: 170m
Beam: 18m
Draft: 9.4m
Speed: 30+ knots
Range: 7,500km at 20 knots

Armament:
130 cells Mk 41 VLS
1x ASROC VLS
4x Goalkeeper CIWS
2x Mk 32 Triple Torpedo Tubes
1x ASW Helo
Various light machineguns can be mounted

Electronics:
Standard Integrated Combat system (SIC) [Aegis analogue]
SPY-1D Radar
Electronic Countermeasures Component

Design Notes:
* Design foregoes the traditional 5" gun system and second helicopter in favour of 40 more VLS cells.
* The Standard Integrated Combat system is designed according to FTO standardized spec to achieve optimal networking efficiency within an FTO framework.
* Design is approved by the administrations of the Sovereign Duchy of Baerne and the Corporate Republic of San Dorado.

The Standard class guided missile destroyer is designed as a modern, highly capable warship capable of putting large numbers of missiles in the air in order to engage and annihilate enemy flotillas at range. Its SIC system allows ships of FTO task forces to engage opponents as a cohesive force, coordinating both defence and offence simultaneously.

It is the opinion of the design team that this destroyer is potentially capable of becoming the mainstay and workhorse of a prospective joint FTO fleet.

Cost is estimated at around $1.1 - $1.5 billion per ship 'fully loaded', depending on the number of ships ordered.

[Karmic Knight]

--Blank Screen--



“Everyone loves gore, sure who doesn’t?

“but at the end of the day, do you want a console that will give you the red ring of death…



… Or one that will give you hours of enjoyment?



..So, this Christmas, get your child, friend or self a Vintendo Vii, you’ll be glad you did after another sleepless night.”

[phongn]

Excerpt from the Saigon Financial Times

Degeneratron, PlaySystem, Vii --- the three consoles now warring for the hearts and minds of gamers across the world are all turning in record profits for their respective companies. The heart of these advanced machines are called advanced microprocessors called Central Processing Units, or CPUs. And while three companies fight out for gaming supremacy, one company profits from all three.

Tonkin Instruments (TI) produces the wildly-successful EnergyMachine and LEG processor lines, used in virtually every embedded system in the world. Variants of the EM line power the three modern consoles, while while the record-selling Vintendo VS and GameVid designs are powered by LEG. While TI does not produce an exact breakdown of their profit numbers in their SEC reports, industry analysis estimate "incredible" profits ...

Excerpt from The Hue Post

Economic Ties with Shroom?

Rumours abound at 10 Infinite Circle today as news of closer economic ties with Shroom leaked out from the Office of State Affairs. While no official word on the matter has come out, markets are up on the news ...

[Fingolfin_Noldor]

Constantinople Times

Budget cuts this year, pace of construction of linear collider slowed down

Because of the high military expenditure, cuts in the budget will be made, and the biggest victim of it all is the linear collider. The collider will be completed in 4 years instead of 3. In the mean time, however, scientists say they will request for the tunnel to be lengthened by a few kilometers.

New aircraft orders

The Navy, Air Force and Army have place large orders this year for new aircraft and for upgrades. In particular, 96 F-12 aircraft and 72 F-14E aircraft will be ordered from Tian Xia, along with the necessary licenses to locally produce the necessary munitions. The F-12 aircraft will be a slow trickle and it has been suggested that the Air Force will acquire in the interim 72 MIG-31BM, the locallised variant of the MIG-31 from its local lines. To pare down costs, one squadron of F/A-18E/F in each CVBG will be converted to fly F-14Es. The acquisitions are expected to take 3-6 years.

Another big ticket item on the list is the upgrading of the TU-160M to TU-160BM. The upgrade will consist of strengthening the airframe so that external pylons to mount extra weapons can be added as per mission requirements. This will boost the aircraft's ability to carry a weapon loadout matching or exceeding a B-1C bomber. The TU-160BM will also receive modernised engines with thrust vectoring using the latest materials such as composites to allow them to have better fuel efficiency. It is unknown if the engines have more thrust than before. The TU-160BM will also receive new radars including AESA radars to fire AIM-120D missiles for self defence. The total time for the staggered upgrading will take 2 years. This will apply to the existing order of 32 TU-160Ms of which 1/3 of the order has been fulfilled thus far. A electronic warfare mission package was also developed for the aircraft as well.

The Air Force is also seeking to replace all its F-111Fs with TU-22BM, also the localised version with modernised thrust vectoring engines which are fuel efficient, and are similarly equiped with AESA radar to possibly fire AIM-120D missiles for self-defence. Procurement will last 2-3 years. It is putting up for sale all the F-111Fs and deliver them by end year. Bids from countries are welcomed.

The Navy intends to acquire TU-22BM and TU-142BM as well. It will acquire 16 TU-22BM and 16 TU-142BM. TU-142BM is also a localised variant of the TU-142, with new electronics. Procurement will last 2 years.

On the AEW&C side, the Army has placed an order for 16 A330 Phalcon aircraft. The Air Force has placed an order for 4 A380 AEW&C (MP-RTIP on a A380, plus JSTAR plus EW equipment). 2 Stratellite AEW&C will be procured On fuel tankers, the Air Force has ordered 24 KC-45 from BAM. Procurement will last 2-3 years.

Navy procurement

Navy will not procure more than 8 destroyers, details of which will be announced later. Last year's order will finish by mid to end year, with the Aircraft Carrier to be completed by the end of the year. The IBNS Heraclius, an older class carrier, will be put on sale with delivery end of the year(JFK type).

[Shinn Langley Soryu]

The Ashford Times

FIGHTING FALCONS ASCENDANT IN THE LANGLEY AIR FORCE
F-16XLs to replace F-4 Phantom IIs, existing F-16C/Ds to be upgraded


FILE PHOTO: A Shroomanian Air Force F-16XL shows off its unrivaled carrying capacity

ASHFORD CITY - With 2008 drawing to a close, the Langley Air Force has managed to finalize a deal with Shroomania's MacMillan Megacorporation to acquire the F-16XL and modernize its existing F-16s.

The F-16XL is a radical redesign of the original F-16 Fighting Falcon, with a stretched fuselage, conformal fuel tanks, and a cranked-arrow delta wing more than twice the size of the original; with a fuel capacity more than double that of the base design and a total of twenty-seven hardpoints for various types of munitions, the F-16XL can carry significantly more ordinance over greater distances. In addition to these structural enhancements, the F-16XL is also equipped with a supercruise-capable afterburning turbofan, the avionics of the standard F-16E/F Block 60 (most notably, the APG-80 AESA radar and fiber-optic data buses for faster processing), and a helmet-mounted sight; the F-16XLs being produced for Langley will also be equipped with an infrared search and track system and an integrated electronic warfare suite.

The Langley Air Force expects to take delivery of 128 F-16XLs by the middle of next year in order to replace its 32 remaining F-4 Phantom IIs. As part of the deal, MacMillan will also refurbish the Langley Air Force's 64 F-16C/D Block 52 Pluses with F-16XL equipment, including the supercruise-capable engine and improved avionics.

[Karmic Knight]

Unmarked Vinish Jet, En route to the Vineyards

Brandon was just leaving the impromptu conference, feeling as though little had been accomplished, he looked at the reports that had piled up in his absence, and decided that his time would be better spent listening to music on his way back. He began looking through his iPod’s (iShroom’s) internal memory, and thinking about what would pass the time during his flight the quickest, he shook himself quickly, he would barely make it in time for his New Years Address. This new information propelled him to decide upon his combined Coldplay-Modest Mouse play list, starting with Dukes Up and going from there. He began looking over the information regarding the eventual capturing and detaining of Jonathan Bordeaux, apparently some of the Victory Front secessionists felt Bordeaux would make a good figurehead for their government. That would not end well for them. The finances were a mess, and he didn’t have time nor power to determine where his nation’s economy lies, in the green or red. He knew much of his military expenditures were meant to be long term investments, which could conceivably keep him in the green. He really needed an accountant.

Brandon was happy to see the console war heating up, leave it to Vintendo to start making attack ads, for gaming systems no less. He chuckled slightly as turned to the harvest reports, Stets may or may not be braking laws with some of their new mergers, fucking Malcolm, if anyone remotely sane was our chief justice, I wouldn’t be reading this, Brandon thought. This probably wasn’t the case, but it was nice to dream. The other issues on his lap did not deserve even a mention, though the fact that reports were leaking about odd Disease Control practises starting up all over the Mess had him worried, better ask Indhopal about that, they have that observation mission right in the epicentre.

[K. A. Pital]

New Year Celebrations rock the CSR capital


The Crimson Square Pine Tree once again assembled Young Pioneers from all around the CSR, including a special delegation from the faraway lands of Frequesque.

PCIA Communique to Tian Xia

We have been informed that you seek a Non-Agression Treaty and a formal peace accord with the CSR, for you are still in a state of ceasefire with one of our territorial subjects.

We will review your Treaty proposals and project documents to that end. Please present them to our embassy.

[Zor]

Union Press

Zorian Military Shocase



Zorian ZT-9 Deus Imperator Main Battle Tank, the latest advanced Zorian Armored Fighting vehicles and a world Class Tank, expected to be a hot Item

Victorium, Victorium Province-In three weeks, the Zorian Government shall hold a Showcase to international buyers on the strengths of the Zorian Arms Industry. Companies including Royal Areospace Reserch, Royal Nautical Engineering, Legion Motors and Royal Zordinance are planning to show off everything the Zorian Arms industry has to offer from the RZR9 Assault Rifle to the ZF-12 Dragon Fighter with.

Assembly of Norse Priests sends out Holy Expedition to the world

ANP Headquarters, Olafsburg, Viking Island, Olafsland Province-Today, Tanya Kamban, president of the Assembly of Norse Priests had announced plans to send forth expeditions around the world to engage in charity work as well as setting up the faith in other nations. Recently several communities around the world have converted to Zorian Norse faith, although these populations are fairly small and largely disorignized. The Plan is to send some 500 volunteer priests to over a dozen countries including Shroomanian, Byzantium, PeZookia and the Crimson Star Republic and shall engage in volunteer work, helping with construction, setting up soup kitchens and such as well as setting up temples to Odin, Thor, Freyja and other major figures in the Norse Pantheon.

"There is more than enough grounds to set up formal relationships with those abroad" Tanya Kamban to the press. "With some orginizaiton, i can see the ways of the Old Gods return to a land where the heel of Christian opression has silenced all other faiths for too long."

Buy'n Large opens its 10,000th store



Buy'n Large, representing the quickly expanding Zorian Retail Megastar

BnL Headqaurters, Port Victory-Today, Zorian Retail Giant Buy'n Large has opened it's 10,000th store and 5th store in PeZookia. The massive Zorian Retail Giant had it's Origins in the Small City of Arisaka, seventy miles noth of Port Victory, with the first store opening in 1965. Buy'n Large quickly grew, expanding outside into foreign countries.

In Responce to this occasion, Buy'n Large is having landmark sale with all goods 25% off. "As the Jingle Says" BnL CEO Shelby Forthwright told the press today "Everyone Loves BnL!"

[Karmic Knight]

News From the Vinish Press



-New Years Fireworks go off without a hitch.
With rumblings of a Victory Front attack on the presentation, the King dispelled those fears by personally shaking hands with many people in the crowd for the New Years Celebration.

-The Republican Revolution, a Year in Review.
After their first full year in power, Brandon’s Republican Party has show improvement in foreign relations, and international unity. Though many feel Chief Justice Malcolm Chaos, and Prime Minister Walter Von Earles have also assisted the King, most citizens are very pleased with the limits on military spending imposed by the Republicans.

-Bordeaux Not in Prison
John Bordeaux was expected to spend New Years in a Kingdom of Earles prison, off the coast of the Kingdom, but he has evaded capture by the KoE’s greatest men, and they believe he has escaped the country all together.

-The Console Wars Heat Up.
With the release of the new Vintendo ad calling the Degeneration unreliable, video game fans across the globe, wait in anticipation for the next sortie of the Console wars.

[Shroom Man 777]

PRIME MINISTERIAL POSTCARDS

WISH YOU WERE HERE!

HAPPY NEW YEAR FROM FARBANTI, SHROOMANIA!

- Prime Minister Shroom the 777th


(Letter comes with boxes of chocolates.)

[phongn]

New Year's Launch

Tonkin is pleased to announce the completion of its Phase I orbital weather satellite network, providing unparalleled information for weather forecasters ...

[Fingolfin_Noldor]

Constantinople Times

Annual Christmas and New Year Celebrations start

The annual Christmas and New Year celebrations have started throughout the Byzantine Empire. It is usually a week long celebration, since Christmas, for Orthodox Catholics, is after the new year.

The Ecumenical Patriarch wishes all Orthodox Catholics a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year, and same for Roman Catholics.

[K. A. Pital]

PRAVDA: Shroomania is a threat to world stability and peace

Shroomania is becoming more and more notorious for it's purported deals with international bandits like the IRT, shameless profiteers with no other goal than getting money. In fact, the Shroomanian corporate lobby is just the same as the IRT one, and history will later decide which one was more vile.

Their ideas of profit apparently include proliferation of harmful chemical substances treated as medicines, proliferation of combat-oriented nuclear power, as well as rumored intentions to proliferate top-notch military equipment to war-torn, unstable regions.

Today the Chief of Staff of the LR Aviation branch has shown newly-accumulated intel data received by the glancing flight of a T-4 recon craft close to the Shroomanian territory during the latest Conflict Observation Mission in the Shepistan-Dominion war.

It is certain that Shroomania's arms and chemical industry are working at peak output, while on the outfront, a diplomatic silence engulfed Shroomania.

The CSR PCIA today filed a strong protest note regarding the militarization of Shroomania, and proliferation of Shroomanian weapons. It is seen as the attempt to restore an imperial hegemon to it's former position.

Also, anonimous sources in CSR Supreme Soviet indicate the CSR is contemplating breaking ties with Shroomania at the next Special Session of the Council.

Several joint defense and science projects with Shroomania might be terminated as a result in the nearest term, our sources report.

[PeZook]

Week Of News: New Year's Edition

Spectacular New Year's celebration in Orena


The fireworks show over Old Orena Square cost more than six million dollars

Concerts, happenings, street theatre, parades and various other attractions marked the end of year 2008 on the streets of Orena. Organized by the city's authorities and further enhanced by the Royal Pair's presence, the celebrations have drawn more than half a million foreign tourists, aiding in the promotion of PeZookia's image abroad as a friendly and interesting country to visit.

The Royal Pair took this opportunity to wish all the people of the world a safe and happy new year.

Finance ministry released economic figures for 2008

Prospects are good for the economy, according to the latest report by the Finance Ministry. While inflation remains high at 3.5% annually, it is expected to drop sharply as new consumer credit regulations take effect in 2009. Growth remained stable at 2.2%, which is considered healthy and steady.

Budget plans for 2009 have several analysts worried, however: a 15 billion dollar deficit means the total public debt will rise almost 5 percentage points in 2009*, which threatens to destabilize the overall health of the economy. Most of the deficit spending finances PeZookia's foreign contributions, like the FASTA space program, nuclear programs and Navy procurement purchases.

Several experts are worried that much of PeZookia's obligations will be held by foreign banks, particularly Shroomanian and Shinra financial institutions.

A tax hike is planned for 2009, in order to offset problems with the deficit, targetting the richest parts of the population: while an unpopular measure amongst lobbyists, it is expected to pass through Parliament.

* PeZookia calculates its public debt by taking into account the value of obligations sold and their folding percentage throughout 10 years, in order to discourage deficit spending.

Military procurement: Necessary buys or wasteful spending?

In 2009, the PeZookian military will purchase quite a bit of advanced military equipment.

The first squadron of 12 F-15 ACTIVE interceptors will be fielded in 2009, with an additional purchase of more than 100 airplanes planned as production ramps up. The current Mig-29 OVT force will be relegated to reserve duty as new airplanes enter service.

The Navy will acquire two Shroomanian-built Yer Mom-class nuclear guided missile submarines, and modernize four of its modern diesel-electric submarines with nuclear batteries and modernized electronics, to expand its capabilities.

Cruise and anti-ship missiles will form a large portion of this year's procurement budget as well, with massive missile production runs to be ordered and deployed over four years.

The air defence network will be heavily invested in, with modernization and integration costs according to the Continental Defence Plan costing almost 1.5 billion dollars in this year alone. This includes deployment of new radars, SHORAD and medium-range missile systems to cover possible gaps and blind zones and most importantly, systems integration, communication upgrades, and finally excercises and training.

Astarian liaison officers working in PeZookia?

Independent sources in various ministries have confirmed information that a liaison team of Astarian police officers is currently working in PeZookia. Apparently related to the student kidnapping case earlier in 2008, it is unknown what the exact extent of the team's responsibilities in PeZookia entail.

BnL under scrutiny?


Buy 'n Large is the biggest single retail corporation in the world today

Various shady practices of the international retail giant, Buy 'n Large, have apparently attracted the attention of the PeZookian Anti-Monopoly Comittee, a government body tasked with preventing large corporations from using dishonest market monopolization practices.

"We have received disturbing reports about price dumping, shady takeovers, illegal product bundling, illegal employee contract clauses, tax evasion and other issues, which we will investigate to the fullest extent allowed by PeZookian law", said High Comissioner Bogdan Strzala.

Critics accuse the Comittee of singling out Buy 'n Large because of its foreign roots, while indigineous PeZookian companies are allowed to indulge in the aforementioned practices without nearly as much scrutiny.

[Siege]

This… Is Station One: San Dorado’s News Source Supreme

Happy New Year!


After the traditional count-down on Longacre Square fireworks lit up the San Dorado skyline. They herald a new year for the city-state, full of brand new opportunities. The Board of Directors has issued all citizen-shareholders a new years greeting, although it reminds the populace that the fiscal new year won’t start ‘till February, an oddity left over from the days of Shroomanian settlement. Therefore it won't be before March that shareholders will receive their yearly dividends.


Golden Dollars Strike Again


Speaking of fireworks... In an airstrike on Sabika today the Golden Dollars tactical bomb squadron have inflicted a serious blow to the Sabikan army. According to a Paragon spokeswoman, the Coilerburg and San Doradan high commands set a trap for the Sabikan Army using elements of Coilerburg’s 12th Armoured Divion as bait. Drawing them into a recently-cleared stretch of jungle, the Sabikan force was then swiftly annihilated in a mass bombardment, followed by further precision bombing by both nation’s air forces. The success of the strike is expected to force Sabika to the negotiating table.

[OOC: Sorry Coiler, I couldn’t find the time to write a more elaborate story concerning the bombardment…]


Standard class GMD Already A Succes?

A model of the Standard class Guided Missile Destroyer.

Days after the unveiling of the plans by the Duchy of Baerne and San Dorado to jointly build a new class of destroyer, FTO orders have already been racked up to twenty ships. With three ships ordered by the Kingdom of the Vineyards, seven by Baerne, six by Indhopal and the Board of Directors discussing the purchase of at least four but possibly more Standards, it seems Blues Brothers Shipping has delivered yet another quality product to the market.


Commies Antagonize Shroomania


State-paid propaganda outlets in the Crimson Star Republic today launched a smear campaign attacking the Sovereignty of Shroomania, accusing it of militarism and profiteering. “This is a classic case of pot, kettle, black”, says Jesse H. Roberts, political pundit for Station One. “In recent months ago we’ve seen just how keen the CSR is staking out colonies of its own all around the world, something Shroomania hasn’t done in over a century. Just goes to show you can never trust a commie. And besides, what’s wrong with profiteering?”


San Dorado Headed For Record Profits


As the financial year begins to wind down market analyses point toward San Dorado’s ‘big five’ megacorporations hauling in record-shattering profits in FY2008. The open borders agreement signed by FTO member nations is doing wonders for the economy, but harvest, extraction, manufacture, and sale of natural resources and industrial products are up across the board as well, accounting for a not-insignificant rise in revenues. According to a statement released by DIFEI, the Board is ‘cautiously optimistic’ that this trend will continue through the next fiscal year. “Certainly the rising tensions in the world aren’t hurting profits”, admitted a spokesperson for the Trust. “What we’re seeing is increases in the sale of oil, medicine, weapons, munitions… You name it and there’s someone out there hoarding it, just in case.”

Station One Returns, After These Messages!

[Shroom Man 777]

LIVE on ShroomSatTV
The Sovereign Shroomanian Sentinel
SHOCKING STEROID SCANDAL SERIES SURPRISES SOVEREIGNTY


Body builder Butch Braddock, under arrest for assaulting five female Sirnothi Red Orchid employees with a gardening implement.

A series of violent roid rage related incidents has spurred Shroomanian authorities to focus their attention on the unhealthy health habits of the nation's citizens, especially in regards to commercially available anabolic steroids.

Anabolic steroids are performance-enhancing and muscle-mass magnifying 'medical supplements' sold throughout the nation, manufactured by big pharmaceuticals such as Mushroom Meds* and promoted extensively through advertisment campaigns. Though the drugs have been prohibited from many professional sports, anabolic steroids have retained their popularity not due to performance-enhancing properties, but due to more cosmetic applications.

"In Shroomanian popular culture, it is very important to look buff and big and strong," explains renowned psychologist Doctor Sigmund Shreud of the Shroomanian Psychiatric Asylum for Mental Studies (SPAMS). "Thus, steroids and other forms of enhancement, whether they enlarge girth or length, are very important in fueling society's innate Oedipus Complexes. The Body Oil is just icing on top of that cake of glistening man-muscle."

The massively increased usage of steroids, particularly those brands made out of imported human hormones from Japanistan, has also caused the massively increased manifestation of side effects - from slight symptoms like the growing of man breasts, to more severe symptoms like roid rage and testicular implosion.


Professional wrestler 'Stone Cold' Steve Stronggo mournfully clutches his imploded testicles after a botched piledriver.

While in the past, anabolic steroids have been used mainly in athletics, the proliferation of their usage into the common population has caused the Mushroom Organization of Medicine (MOM)** to enact a series of regulations aimed at curbing steroid abuse.

"We can't have this! These people are dosed up on so much beaver tranquilizers and steroids that we'll end up with an entire subspecies of mutated musculated morons by the year 2029," a MOM official said in a private interview. "The rate of testicular implosions has gone to an unprecedented level, and with the whole social stigma of exploded testicles, many of these poor souls are going to 'discreet' and unlicensed practitioners for reconstructive surgery - for outrageous fees!

"It's a horrible situation and we're doing the best we can to fix this."

Aside from forcing pharmaceuticals to recall the latest batch of steroids using human hormones harvested from Japanistan***, MOM has forced companies like Mushroom Meds to include warning labels in their products. There is also an ongoing petition in the Shroomanian Parliament to regulate anabolic steroids as a Controlled Substance.



* Mushroom Meds is a pharmaceutical company.
** The Mushroom Organization of Medicine (MOM) is our Department of Health.
*** Human hormones are actually harvested from Sumatran urine.

[Fingolfin_Noldor]

Constantinople Times

Navy announces FY09 acquisitions

The navy has announced that it will procure over the next 2-3 years 16 destroyers belonging to two classes are dubbed, the Exarch class and the Consul class. They are based on an extremely lengthened and broadened KDX-III hull. They are armed as follows:

Exarch class specifications
Sensors
- SPY-1D(V) & SPS-67 radar system
- TACTAS Towed array sonar
- AN/SPS-67(V)3 Radar
- AN/SPS-64(V)9 Radar
- AN/SQS-53C(V) Sonar
Weapons
- 128 cell VLS system firing RIM-162 ESSM SAM, BGM-109 Tomahawk, SM-2/3.
- 8 ASROC VLS
- landing deck for 2 LAMP III helos
- 6 Mk-54 torpedo tubes
- 16 P-1000 Vulkans
- 2 RIM-116 Rolling Airframe Missile launchers
- 2 CIWS gun systems
- 1 155mm gun system
Hull
- Propulsion: Nuclear with electric drive
- total displacement estimated~ 17,000 tonnes
- Other features identical to the DDG-51 class
- Cost estimated ~ 5 billion

Consul class specifications
Sensors
- SPY-1D(V) & SPS-67 radar system
- TACTAS Towed array sonar
- AN/SPS-67(V)3 Radar
- AN/SPS-64(V)9 Radar
- AN/SQS-53C(V) Sonar
Weapons
- 156 cell VLS system firing RIM-162 ESSM SAM, BGM-109 Tomahawk, SM 2/3
- 8 ASROC VLS
- landing deck for 2 LAMP III helos
- 6 Mk-54 torpedo tubes
- 2 RIM-116 Rolling Airframe Missile launchers
- 2 CIWS gun systems
- 1 155mm gun system
Hull
- Propulsion: Nuclear with electric drive
- total displacement estimated~ 17,000 tonnes
- Other features identical to the DDG-51 class
- Cost estimated ~ 5 billion

In addition, the Navy is acquiring 8 specialised frigates, which will be extensively refitted with a towed sonar array, and other sonar arrays and 4 torpedo tubes. To be driven by 8 water jet propulsors, they are designed to scan the waters for any submarines with their high sensitivity sonars. They are built upon the the Formidable class frigate hulls and will be typically escorted by ships while they perform their duties. The class is dubbed the "Sentinel class".

To bolster the submarine fleet, a total of 4 Mediterranean (Seawolf) and 12 Black Sea submarines (Type 212A) will be constructed.

The navy also reports that 2 ships to be outfitted with X-band radar near completion and launch is expected mid year. They will be used for the FASTA space project, in addition to their other command and control duties.

Constantinople Shipyards announces that it will begin work on the TYPE 210Mod sub

The TYPE 210Mod Sub is a small submarine in the sub-1000 tonne displacement class that will be designed for littoral operations, and covert operations. The Navy is understood to be interested in the submarine, and Constantinople Shipyards estimates it will take 1-2 years for the design to be completed for manufacture. Overseas collaborators are welcomed.

[DarthShady]

[OOC: From what I saw, this is where the Conference is stuck.]]

Private meeting, Palace Of The Soviets, CSR

Paul took a moment to think when he heard the Emperor's question.

"I have no objections for Byzantium remaining in the SNC. However, before a decision is made about the Empire's MESS membership, I would like all assembled to look at a certain folder I was entrusted with by president Shinra."

Paul opened his briefcase, and pulled out a rather thick, though ordinary looking folder.

"These are photographs, witness statements and intelligence reports on actions Japanistan has taken against the civilian population of Velaria. Since by making a decision one way or another, Byzantium will essentialy chose between opposing Japanistan or placating them, I felt it was relevant to this discussion."

Paul put the folder on the table.

"President Shinra has expressed to me a desire to take action of some sort against Japanistan ; Currently, he wishes to release the information contained in this folder to the public and demand an explanation. I fell that he does not rule out military action by the MESS, though he did not outright say that."

As he finished the sentence, he took a long look at his SNC allies.

"While I do not desire war with Japanistan, we must decide on our course: should we ignore their atrocities in favor of placating its leaders, or stick to our principles and chastise them for their criminal behavior, risking their ire? I feel the answer to this question will shape the future of the Old Continent."

"Comrade, I agree we should chastise them for their actions, but are some savages in Valeria really worth going to war for? I mean the MESS may have an Interest in the area but the SNC does not.

This is a matter that needs to be carefully considered."

[DarthShady]

USSR New Year Celebrations



Happy New Year
----------------------------------------------------

Location: Temple Prime, Sarajevo, USSR

"Well Comrade Kane it would appear that we have survived our first year."

"What do you mean Mr.President?"

"Ignore me Comrade, too much Vodka."

[Fingolfin_Noldor]

[OOC: From what I saw, this is where the Conference is stuck.]]"Comrade, I agree we should chastise them for their actions, but are some savages in Valeria really worth going to war for? I mean the MESS may have an Interest in the area but the SNC does not.

This is a matter that needs to be carefully considered."

The Emperor gazed at his aide's note and scowled. "Well, Comrade Shady, apparently it's just a matter of Valeria now. I think this note says that our citizens are protesting my rather.. lax treatment of Japanistan for not standing up for our Christian brothers in Japanistan. And I take it a number of us have Catholics in our nations." He handed the note around. Damn that Ecumenical Patriarch, but this could work to our advantage, thought the Emperor.

"You see, this is rapidly looking like whether or not we are appeasers; a bunch of cowards, or people at least looking like we claim some degree of moral authority."