Take Me Out to the Holosuite vs...

Iceberg · Post by **Iceberg** » 2002-07-07 03:12pm

The 2375 Vulcan Logicians (what a crappy name for a baseball team) vs. the 1991 Minnesota Twins.

Crowd: 48,000 insane screaming Minnesotans wearing Twins jerseys and waving Homer Hankies, and drinking lukewarm Budweiser (yecch, but the only kind of beer you could get in the Metrodome back then, unless you smuggled your own in). Plus several million more watching on television at home.

Venue: Hubert H. Humphrey Metrodome, circa 1991, with all that implies: White uniforms, white baseball, white roof, white field lights, flying white homer hankies, pasty white baseball fans and jet-takeoff decibel levels (the noise level during game 7 of the 1991 World Series was measured at 135 decibels).

The Twins:

Manager: #10 Tom Kelly

Starting Lineup:

Pitching for the Twins is #47 Jack Morris
Leading off, the left fielder #32 Dan Gladden
Batting second, the second baseman #11 Chuck Knoblauch
Batting third, the center fielder #34 KIRBYYYYYYYYYY PUCKETT! (cue aforementioned 48,000 screaming baseball fanatics)
Batting fourth, first baseman #14 Kent Hrbek
Batting fifth, the shortstop #12 Greg Gagne
Batting sixth, the designated hitter #40 Chili Davis
Batting seventh, the right fielder #24 Shane Mack
Batting eighth, the catcher #20 Brian Harper
And batting ninth, the third baseman #13 Mike Pagliarulo

So: Can the famed Vulcan logic overcome the Twins, or will one of the best baseball teams of the early 1990s, with the formidable home-field advantage granted by their thunderously loud and amazingly confusing ballpark do them in?

SirNitram · Post by **SirNitram** » 2002-07-07 03:14pm

It's Vulcan Mating Season and the team tosses aside their gloves and bats to ravage every female in the audience.

Admiral Valdemar · Post by **Admiral Valdemar** » 2002-07-07 03:31pm

Argh!

A sport as ghey as cricket!

And TWO Black Mages in one thread!

*head explodes*

Iceberg · Post by **Iceberg** » 2002-07-07 03:33pm

Admiral Valdemar wrote:Argh!

A sport as ghey as cricket!

And TWO Black Mages in one thread!

*head explodes*

But not nearly as ghey as football/soccer.

Post by **Mr Bean** » 2002-07-07 03:41pm

Lucky I keep a phone list of know Football(Soccer to Americans) hoolgans

*Ring Ring
Yallo?
Hey Roy
Heya whats going...
*Cuts him off
Listen we got this guy, Calls himself Iceburg hes over here Dissing football
He even called it gay!
*Wha! I'll teach that snooty American some mannors, Erh lemme make a few calls

*A few hours Later

CNN Headline News
Today in a Suprize move the Entire able body population of Irland and Brazil along with large numbers of English and German citizins suddly departed thier respective Contrys travling by Sea, Land Air and some even swimming for America, When quested they mutter somthing about *Settling that American Fellow
In other news Minnsota Gov Jessy "The Body" Ventura has declared mob rule and stands outside his Governers residant and has been seeing protroling the grounds carrying a billy club and has been quoted as saying "BRING IT"
More news as this story devoples

Iceberg · Post by **Iceberg** » 2002-07-07 03:56pm

Fortunately, since I'm a baseball fan and not a soccer fan, I have a weapon. *brandishes baseball bat*

Come get some.

Post by **Mr Bean** » 2002-07-07 04:57pm

Eh Roy
Yeah?
He's going to be using weapons!
Oy? Well this will teach him!(Pulls out patented Irish Football Riot Billy club
-Avaible now in the gift shop! only $19.99!-
(The throng behind him produce similar weapons)
Lets make this a proper Riot!
*As one they pull out Rum/Gin/Vodka/Beer and take a swig, Give a yell then smash down the white picket fence charging the lone figure on the doorstep

Iceberg · Post by **Iceberg** » 2002-07-07 07:10pm

*drops baseball bat, whips out Black Mage robes*

Now you're gonna get it! HADOKEN!

*watches the football hooligans fry*

Post by **Mr Bean** » 2002-07-07 07:20pm

*Oww!
Now your facing twenty million Hoolgans who happen to be on fire
Does that mean they do fire damage now?

Remeber Hoolgans don't drop till they get some hitting in, Thems the rules!

Iceberg · Post by **Iceberg** » 2002-07-07 07:25pm

Now answer the damn question. ;P

Post by **Mr Bean** » 2002-07-07 07:33pm

As one the flaming Hoolgans close in
As one they yell,
NEVER!

SirNitram · Post by **SirNitram** » 2002-07-07 07:48pm

*Out of the crowd comes a Black Wizard, distinguishable by his more bad-ass robes.*

*He gestures to Iceburg, speaking in badly-dubbed English* Now, interloper, you will fry.

*Casts ULTIMA*

Admiral Valdemar · Post by **Admiral Valdemar** » 2002-07-07 08:00pm

SirNitram wrote:*Out of the crowd comes a Black Wizard, distinguishable by his more bad-ass robes.*

*He gestures to Iceburg, speaking in badly-dubbed English* Now, interloper, you will fry.

*Casts ULTIMA*

Two can play that game!

*Casts DAIKATANA*

PH34R R0M3R0'5 g4m1ng H0RR0R!

Grand Admiral Thrawn · Post by **Grand Admiral Thrawn** » 2002-07-07 08:24pm

Iceberg wrote:But not nearly as ghey as football/soccer.

Everyone knows hockey's the best

Oh and Vulcans make everyone's head explode.
Heh.

Post by **Mr Bean** » 2002-07-07 09:58pm

I'd buy that

Its solves the problem nicley

IDMR · Post by **IDMR** » 2002-07-08 06:56am

Admiral Valdemar wrote:Argh!

A sport as ghey as cricket!

And TWO Black Mages in one thread!

*head explodes*

You will be... suitably chastised for attaching the epithet 'ghey' to the noble game of cricket.

::sics rabid Lancaster sausages on Valdemar::