Armageddon???? Epilogue Up

[Shroom Man 777]

Verhoven, goddamn it. That man is crazy enough to do it!

[Battlehymn Republic]

A joint Kevin Smith-Tarantino venture, with some Robert Rodriguez thrown in.

[Shroom Man 777]

Fuck. You mean Broomstick and Hooters and Julius Caesar will be making inane banter composed of pop culture references and shit? It's already bad enough when we've got Yaweh ranting and raving and carrying on about the Supreme Court.

[Chris OFarrell]

Actually I think Armegedon might work better as a miniseries rather then a movie, its scope is just too epic to do in a movie or two.

Something like Band of Brothers, but with multiple perspective changes , might be fun.

[gtg947h]

Verhoven, goddamn it. That man is crazy enough to do it!

Bah... after seeing what that man did to Starship Troopers*, I don't want him making another movie at all. Period. Especially not this, because the entire plot would get twisted around, Stuart's vision for the story would get fucked, and the end message would be something completely different. No thanks.


Stuart, who would your pick be?



*whether you agree with the book's premise or not, Verhoven had the audacity to take the book's title and plot and turn it into a twisted parody of itself. If the movie version of I, Robot was like pissing on Asimov's grave, then Verhoven's ST was like digging up the grave and shitting in the casket. I have no problem with making a movie portraying what you want to; just don't take someone else's story, completely change it until it's almost unrecognizable, and then still market it under their name.

[JN1]

Perhaps a lot would depend on family reunions, and going from there? (Henry VIII is going to have a lot of explaining to do.) I think that people will go with what they are familiar with, to be honest, and you will get, roughly, nations built around that eventually.

Does make me wonder what will happen to married couples ('till death us do part'). Does a marriage automatically become anulled when one person dies? What happens when someone has remarried but then discovers that they can contact their deceased spouse? Might some people wish to live with their deceased spouse in Hell?
Might the dead decide to pursue relationships with other dead people in Hell much as a surviving spouse might do back on Earth?

With all of the dead Brits down there it looks like we'll need to set up a British Overseas Territory double quick while there's good land still up for grabs, appoint a Governor and build Government House. We'll need to recruit a local regiment, or defence force too, like the Gibralter Regiment, or the Falkland Islands Defence Force, too.

[EdBecerra]

Instead of finding (for example) Sun Tzu, its more likely we'll find Hu Flu, rice farmer or Yu Rang, peddler.

So you're telling us that Yu Rang, rice peddler, sort of just lurched away from appearing in the storyline?

*badump-ching*



Ed.

[EdBecerra]

When people like this say "realistic", what they actually mean is "in line with my personal expectations", however childish those expectations may be.

*twitch*

I just now found myself agreeing with DW - surely that MUST be a sign of the oncoming Apocalypse?

Ed.

[EdBecerra]

George Bush shook his head. “Condi, I thought we’d won this war.”

*snerk*

And you just keep thinking that, lad.

*pats Bush on the head*

Politicians... so cute when they're innocent like that. Pity they grow up so fast and have to be put down.

Ed.

[Sidewinder]

I really don't see any film-maker who cares about PR being willing to touch a Pantheocide movie with a ten foot pole.

Guillermo Del Toro?

Even if del Toro is willing to tackle 'Pantheocide', I don't think there are any studios willing and able to provide the budget needed to NOT let the resulting movie look like something a teenager made with Microsoft PowerPoint.

[Stuart]

Bah... after seeing what that man did to Starship Troopers*, I don't want him making another movie at all. Period. Especially not this, because the entire plot would get twisted around, Stuart's vision for the story would get fucked, and the end message would be something completely different. No thanks. Stuart, who would your pick be?

John Milius. He's the only living director we have (since Ford and Kurosawa are both dead) who could capture the epic grandeur of the storyline (there's a lot of similarities between Armageddon and Milius's version of Conan the Barbarian.)

[tim31]

I was about to post, "why does the director need to be living?" and then facepalmed myself back out of the Armageddonverse.

[Beowulf]

Verhoven, goddamn it. That man is crazy enough to do it!

Bah... after seeing what that man did to Starship Troopers*, I don't want him making another movie at all. Period. Especially not this, because the entire plot would get twisted around, Stuart's vision for the story would get fucked, and the end message would be something completely different. No thanks.


Stuart, who would your pick be?



*whether you agree with the book's premise or not, Verhoven had the audacity to take the book's title and plot and turn it into a twisted parody of itself. If the movie version of I, Robot was like pissing on Asimov's grave, then Verhoven's ST was like digging up the grave and shitting in the casket. I have no problem with making a movie portraying what you want to; just don't take someone else's story, completely change it until it's almost unrecognizable, and then still market it under their name.

Verhoeven admits to never having finished the book, even. The movie started with a different title, and then they recieved the rights to make a movie version of the book.

[CaptainChewbacca]

Oooh! We can get Heath Ledger back to do the next Batman movie, we just have to film it in Dis.

Batman: Hell on Earth.

[DarthShady]

I was about to post, "why does the director need to be living?" and then facepalmed myself back out of the Armageddonverse.

That just confirms how awesome this story is.

[Academia Nut]

Thinking about an Armageddon movie, while I'm not entirely sure how to structure it, I think that the opening could probably go something like this:

Scene of an small Chinese village. Everything looks normal at first, until you realize that the people are all going about their daily business wearing aluminum foil hats. Focus in on a bunch of really old men wearing threadbare uniforms sitting around a small, old fashioned TV watching a news channel, where some politician is going on about how "we will not surrender to this aggresion and blatant betrayal of our faith, we will fight..." etc. Either make it in Chinese to make it a bilingual bonus, or make it in English with little Chinese subtiltes so that the audience can understand what is being said and the point is made that this is an international concern.

Cue screaming. In the middle of the village a black elipse opens up and a demon steps out, bearing a trident and it starts blasting people and clawing the closer ones, laughing all the way through. For a time people are running and screaming in all directions, mothers are trying to shield their children, its all just general chaos.

Then from off screen you hear a cry of "Assume firing line!" in Chinese, possibly with subtitles. The demon glances around and there are the old men we saw before, now all armed with rifles nearly as old as they are. Their leader cries out, "Fire!" and the demon is hit with a volley. They all work the bolts and fire again. The demon blasts several of them, but it is clearly wounded, dropping to one knee.

The guns go empty. Several of the old men lay dead on the ground, but then their leader shouts out, "Level bayonets!" and they all march fearlessly towards the demon. It stabs one with its trident, but then they surround it and start going to town. The camera pans up as these octogenarians are brutally mauling the demon.

Cue the Hell March (or something thematically similar)

You then go through a montage of military forces preparing for battle and news broadcasts filling the viewer in on the basic premise: Heaven's gates are closed, we've all been damned to Hell, and Satan is sending his armies to get us. As it ends, fade to black. Then pull out from the black and show that it is an ellipse similar to the portal the demon used to invade the Chinese village. Have a message read "Hellmouth" followed a short moment later by "Location: Western Iraq".

Then start the main movie from there.

[ray245]

Oooh! We can get Heath Ledger back to do the next Batman movie, we just have to film it in Dis.

Batman: Hell on Earth.

That means people is going to know about Harvey's actions....

[Black Admiral]

The guns go empty. Several of the old men lay dead on the ground, but then their leader shouts out, "Level bayonets!" and they all march fearlessly towards the demon.

Minor nitpick; at least in English, the command's actually "Charge bayonets!".

[CaptainChewbacca]

The guns go empty. Several of the old men lay dead on the ground, but then their leader shouts out, "Level bayonets!" and they all march fearlessly towards the demon.

Minor nitpick; at least in English, the command's actually "Charge bayonets!".

Actually, its 'Fix Bayonets' first, then 'Charge bayonets'.

[kingdragon]

1. What were the precise dates for The Message and when Satan started spouting off the
“I, Satan Mekratrig, Lord of Hell, Commander of the Legions of the Damned do hereby declare my dominion over the earth and all that it contains. Crawl to me, humans, knowing the eternity of torment that awaits you" spiel?

2. How does one explain ghosts?

[The Vortex Empire]

1. What were the precise dates for The Message and when Satan started spouting off the
“I, Satan Mekratrig, Lord of Hell, Commander of the Legions of the Damned do hereby declare my dominion over the earth and all that it contains. Crawl to me, humans, knowing the eternity of torment that awaits you" spiel?

2. How does one explain ghosts?

I don't think we know the dates for the message, but as for #2, they're not real.

[CaptainChewbacca]

The Message was January 2008, I believe.

[Peptuck]

1. What were the precise dates for The Message and when Satan started spouting off the
“I, Satan Mekratrig, Lord of Hell, Commander of the Legions of the Damned do hereby declare my dominion over the earth and all that it contains. Crawl to me, humans, knowing the eternity of torment that awaits you" spiel?

Roughly speaking, the story took place over real-time as Stuart was posting it (i. e. the epilogue took place around yesterday, September 15 or so) so you can probably check the dates on the first post in the initial thread, and I think that post indicated that The Message came several weeks prior. So, The Message came in around January of '08.

[Singular Quartet]

Round abouts January 11th, as I recall. Check the first post of the original thread.

[Peptuck]

As an aside, are we ever going to know what the exact contents of The Message are? I'm curious as to what Yahweh said to the humans.