Funniest rpg supplement ever!

Faram · Post by **Faram** » 2003-01-31 08:13am

Found this old goldie at my parenths hose:

Have you ever wondered why, in a world full of magic, there are no enchanted labor saving devices? Few magical modes of transportation? No bespelled byproducts of the inventor's art? Wonder no more! They are all here, in this latest compendium from the Game Wizard's lair: The Book of Wondrous Inventions!
The Book of Wondrous Inventions is useable with both the D&D and the AD&D game systems. Each invention is clearly outlined, including function, form, and hazards of use. Statistics and spell details are are presented in a manner compatible with both game systems. Adventure scenario suggestions are given, as well as design instructions for characters who wish to build duplicate device.
As an added bonus, a section is included which details a system for creating spells and magical items. This will prove especially useful to players and DMs who use the D&D game system; the detailed information is also of help to AD&D game players.

Bard in a Box rules!

Evil Sadistic Bastard · Post by **Evil Sadistic Bastard** » 2003-01-31 08:26am

I found the Slayer's Guide to Female Gamers.

Kelly Antilles · Post by **Kelly Antilles** » 2003-01-31 08:55am

Nononono... Orc-a-Cola.
THAT rules!

And the DUCK! trap.

Of course these are from an even older suppliment for D&D (1st Ed) which I can't remember the name of.... it's some person's name.... and Traps is in it too.... ugh. I'm too old. Brain gone...

Evil Sadistic Bastard · Post by **Evil Sadistic Bastard** » 2003-01-31 09:05am

Kelly Antilles wrote:Nononono... Orc-a-Cola.
THAT rules!

For that mean,green lovin' feelin'...

And the DUCK! trap.

Shoots avians at thine enemies?

Of course these are from an even older suppliment for D&D (1st Ed) which I can't remember the name of.... it's some person's name.... and Traps is in it too.... ugh. I'm too old. Brain gone...

Don't say that, darlin'...

*Hugs Kelly*

Post by **The Yosemite Bear** » 2003-01-31 09:25am

Grimtooth Tricks and Traps, Home of the deadly La Brea Carpets (20' deep shag carpetting)

I still like the potion of Nitro Glycerine....

Kelly Antilles · Post by **Kelly Antilles** » 2003-01-31 09:50am

The Yosemite Bear wrote:Grimtooth Tricks and Traps, Home of the deadly La Brea Carpets (20' deep shag carpetting)

I still like the potion of Nitro Glycerine....

Right when I was clicking to look at the thread, I remembered Grimtooth. Thanks YB. You must have channeled it to me.

Post by **The Yosemite Bear** » 2003-01-31 10:04am

lol

I think he's still alive insprit at least in Braarwood webcomic.

neoolong · Post by **neoolong** » 2003-01-31 12:06pm

Evil Sadistic Bastard wrote:I found the Slayer's Guide to Female Gamers.

What, the whole one female gamer in existance?

Kelly Antilles · Post by **Kelly Antilles** » 2003-01-31 12:48pm

Evil Sadistic Bastard wrote:
Kelly Antilles wrote: And the DUCK! trap.
Shoots avians at thine enemies?

Nope, better than that....

The party is walking down a long hallway. They suddenly hear someone scream "DUCK!" Everyone hits the floor.

Ew, the floor is covered in something... muddy and smelly.

After a moment, a duck flies over.

The group stands up and moves down the hall again.

"DUCK!"

Everyone drops to the floor again. It's still icky.

A duck flies by.

Grumbling, they get up again and try one more time.

"DUCK!"

Not to be fooled, they don't drop to the floor and are instantly decapitated by the swinging guillotine.

Peregrin Toker · Post by **Peregrin Toker** » 2003-01-31 01:45pm

It's funny what TSR has been willing to publish....

What's next?? D&D rules for houseplants??

SirNitram · Post by **SirNitram** » 2003-01-31 01:56pm

Reminds me of the always-hilarious Netbook, the Book Of Unlawful Carnal Knowledge, or, the AD&D Book Of Sex.

Post by **The Yosemite Bear** » 2003-01-31 02:04pm

Arduin Grimior is something else for you AD&D junkies need to check out.

The critical hit's table, the spells, the races, the inn menus, The flash gordon hawkmen as a playable race, fighting gorean tarnsmen over desert caravan routes, the Deodanths (Very Nasty Drow/Gith hybrids), accidentally rolling 00 on the fighter bonus table and learning that your character is a member of one of the Giantkin races. Rolling a 20 on the Gaint races table and finding out that your firegiant mother was raped by a Balrog.....
(Oh, btw, it's creadably fun to play a pre-teen firegiant with little wings, who can 3/day manifest aura of fire around any weapon.)

FX · Post by FX » 2003-01-31 03:04pm

I have to give it up to Big Brest small waist a hentai RPG. Experience is given out for having sex, and has multipliers for use of toys, and multiple other kinks. It was actually well written, and was most likely playable.

Peregrin Toker · Post by **Peregrin Toker** » 2003-02-01 04:41am

The Yosemite Bear wrote:The critical hit's table, the spells, the races, the inn menus, The flash gordon hawkmen as a playable race, fighting gorean tarnsmen over desert caravan routes,

What about throwing in some Wood Elf Warhawk Riders from Warhammer Fantasy Battle into this.... THAT's gonna mean trouble for those Hawk-Men! Or the Tarnsmen of Gor, depending on where the Wood Elves' allegiance lies.

GO ATHEL LOREN!!!

Evil Sadistic Bastard · Post by **Evil Sadistic Bastard** » 2003-02-01 05:15am

neoolong wrote:
Evil Sadistic Bastard wrote:I found the Slayer's Guide to Female Gamers.
What, the whole one female gamer in existance?

Not really. If you have Kazaa I would recommend downloading it, as well as doing a Google search for the AD&D GUide to Sex.

(I say download because I am a lazy sonuvabitch and don't feel like typing out the 1.5 page overview and the thing is in PDF format)

Evil Sadistic Bastard · Post by **Evil Sadistic Bastard** » 2003-02-01 05:25am

Kelly Antilles wrote:
Evil Sadistic Bastard wrote:
Kelly Antilles wrote:
Nope, better than that....

The party is walking down a long hallway. They suddenly hear someone scream "DUCK!" Everyone hits the floor.

Ew, the floor is covered in something... muddy and smelly.

After a moment, a duck flies over.

The group stands up and moves down the hall again.

"DUCK!"

Everyone drops to the floor again. It's still icky.

A duck flies by.

Grumbling, they get up again and try one more time.

"DUCK!"

Not to be fooled, they don't drop to the floor and are instantly decapitated by the swinging guillotine.

I have a few books of dumb traps. One of them is the "Countdown to Freedom"

COUNTDOWN TO FREEDOM
Party enters a 10x10 room, and stone doors seal the room at all entrances. Looking about, there is a button on the wall, beside a number dial (like on a gas pump) that counts down 10-9-8... Some bright soul presses the button, and the dial resets to 10. In my campaign, the party spent fully 45 minutes of real time searching the room for an escape, while one PC stayed near the button to continue resetting the dial. Finally, they said forget it, and let the dial count down to 0, at which point the doors slid open, and the DM was chased from the room.

Post by **The Yosemite Bear** » 2003-02-01 09:27am

Back on Topic

The whole 4 volumes of Grimtooth's Traps by the folks at Chaosium & Flying Buffalo is the definate winner. (Hard to belive Black Tree (Which is now owned by Chaosium, Flying Buffalo, & White Wolf), didn't get more exposure. Glad WOC/TSR does not own them.

Coalition · Post by **Coalition** » 2003-02-01 11:13am

How about a recent one for D20 AD&D: "Bok of Vile Darkness". I thought it was hilarious.

Post by **The Yosemite Bear** » 2003-02-01 11:18am

Inside Note

All the Worlds Monsters

as a joke against the first edition of the Monster Manual, the % in Lair was typo'ed. (as % Liar)

As a result all of the entry's in AtWM had a % chance that it's in it's lair when encountered and % chance it will LIE to the party if spoken too.

Dragon's btw have a 90% in both

Sokar · Post by **Sokar** » 2003-02-01 02:53pm

"The Computer Always Shoots Twice" for Paranoia