Shocking News: Keanu Reeves Stars in Mediocre Sci-Fi Film

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Shocking News: Keanu Reeves Stars in Mediocre Sci-Fi Film

Post by Gil Hamilton »

Referring to "The Day the Earth Stood Still", which I just got back from seeing. I didn't see an actual thread for it on Search.
Spoiler
I'm not even sure I get what Klaatu was trying to do. Sure, Earth is a habitable planet and human beings haven't been exactly good about it, but dissolving the planet's biosphere with Nanite Swarms is DEFINITELY going to make the world uninhabitable. The original Klaatu gave everyone a warning that they had to cut the shit out with nuclear weapons and violence, but there was a genuine desire for peace there. It wasn't "Well, you are all completely irredeemable... oh wait, I've listened to Bach, did a physics problem with John Cleese, and seen a mother's love, guess I can unilaterally call off the plan of extermination of everything."

Likewise, the US government seemed one-sidely stupid as well. I'm sure the actual US Government has plans for actual first contact situations with aliens and they don't involve treating an alien whose ship came to a stop in Central Park from 3x10^7 m/s (that's 10% the speed of light) like shit. As stupid and belligerent as the government can be, I'm certain they know that when aliens step off the Glowing Space Orb in Manhattan, all their power counts for exactly jack. And then, after it was clear that no amount of firepower would work and that Klaatu wasn't going to be bullied, they kept shooting! The first time was an accident caused by a nervous soldier, that's unfortunate but understandable.

But really... FUBAARing things more and more by keeping sending shit at it... for no apparent reason? Denying anyone but the government contact with the alien everyone knows they have? I know the point was the make humanity seem in the worst possible light, but at that point, it stretches credibility not only because some people, even in the government, might have a genuine interest in peaceful contact with beings not of the Earth but self-interest in not pissing off beings of this Earth. The defense secretary laid out the Outside Context Problem reasonably well and then systematically did everything possible to make sure that it wasn't a survivable Outside Context Problem.

All plot aside, somehow the movie managed to not have a dramatic climax. Things just sort of happened, the government acted stupid, the ugliness of human nature, Klaatu deciding not to NanoPlague Apocalypse the planet because of a mother's love, blah blah blah... It was all very tepid. The characters were boring and that kid desperately was in need of going over Jennifer Connelly's knee. It was not terrible, but it managed to make first contact with an alien race, well, boring. That's a trick.

Besides, aren't Sidewinder missiles short range air-to-air missiles?
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Re: Shocking News: Keanu Reeves Stars in Mediocre Sci-Fi Film

Post by bullethead »

You know, if the aliens could've just given us the blueprints for clean energy tech (adjusted for our lower tech level) and a deadline to implement that tech to avert global annihilation and the world governments would've done everything in their power to get that stuff online. After all, letting humanity get wiped out would hurt the politicians' chances of reelection.
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Re: Shocking News: Keanu Reeves Stars in Mediocre Sci-Fi Film

Post by Akkleptos »

Good, thanks a lot for the review. I'm thinking about going to see this movie with my wife. I already fully expect Hollywood to FUBARing the most beloved classics, so terrible writing, plot holes, dull characters, messing up with well-established, long-standing, widely-respected franchises are hardly an issue when I go to the movies to see a remake.

However, as I feel that -and please excuse my criteria for movie-going- movies with no action content, mind-blowing special effects, big explosions, great music, et cætera should be released directly on DVD or Blu-ray as IMHO they fail to take advantage of the full super-sound and bigscreen experience onlly a cinema (movie theatre) can offer, I have a question for you, or any other member who's already seen this one: are the special effects at least worth the ticket?

Thanks a lot :)
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Re: Shocking News: Keanu Reeves Stars in Mediocre Sci-Fi Film

Post by CDiehl »

You know, if the aliens could've just given us the blueprints for clean energy tech (adjusted for our lower tech level) and a deadline to implement that tech to avert global annihilation and the world governments would've done everything in their power to get that stuff online.
Despite having not seen the movie, I can imagine a couple of counters to this idea. First, the instant Klaatu and Gort are out of the picture, people will start to drag their feet on installing this stuff. Without the immediate threat of destruction, the world will start to relax and think they've got all the time in the world. Also, considering that we have a devil of a time upgrading our infrastructure with tech we have today, I doubt we'd do any better with tech aliens gave us. Second, I imagine that, when faced with this suggestion, Klaatu and those he represents would retort that Earth has the technology to do what they demand already, and failed to implement it, so they don't get any more time. They'd probably also argue that it's not their job to solve a problem we should have recognized and addressed by now.
movies with no action content, mind-blowing special effects, big explosions, great music, et cætera should be released directly on DVD or Blu-ray
I agree with this. It seems like a lot of movies that come out every year really don't need to be shown in theatres. They work just fine on a TV screen, and will in about 2 years when they get to basic cable. I now tend to imagine that movies get released in theatres nowadays to make back their money before going out on DVD, since they'll all spend a lot longer out of theatres than they do in them.
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Re: Shocking News: Keanu Reeves Stars in Mediocre Sci-Fi Film

Post by Venator »

Alternate thread title:

Shocking News: Modern remake butchers sci-fi classic.
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Re: Shocking News: Keanu Reeves Stars in Mediocre Sci-Fi Film

Post by Admiral Valdemar »

I saw this last week, but didn't see any merit in posting a review thread. It wasn't a terrible movie, though it wasn't amazing either. It was just... a movie. I honestly couldn't care for it, even if they tried to update the concept for the modern world, where it could have been so much more. Despite Klaatu evidently meant to be wooden in this, everyone else was just as wooden. The most interesting thing, apart from seeing T-Bag play an army commander (and the annoying habit of using Sidewinders and even STATING they're AAMs for use against ground targets, and the obscure reason why Hollywood has to always make the Reaper UCAV jet powered), was the SUPAR BIG GORT! I was routing for total planetary destruction, really. I felt the experience just made me want everything to die. I mean, the stupidity of the US forces was mind boggling. It really should have been Gort taking out the entire US military, then Klaatu taking a brisk walk to the UN to give a speech in the knowledge that the people most likely to cause an intergalactic war should humans become space faring have been incinerated.
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Re: Shocking News: Keanu Reeves Stars in Mediocre Sci-Fi Film

Post by Gil Hamilton »

CDiehl wrote:Despite having not seen the movie, I can imagine a couple of counters to this idea. First, the instant Klaatu and Gort are out of the picture, people will start to drag their feet on installing this stuff. Without the immediate threat of destruction, the world will start to relax and think they've got all the time in the world. Also, considering that we have a devil of a time upgrading our infrastructure with tech we have today, I doubt we'd do any better with tech aliens gave us. Second, I imagine that, when faced with this suggestion, Klaatu and those he represents would retort that Earth has the technology to do what they demand already, and failed to implement it, so they don't get any more time. They'd probably also argue that it's not their job to solve a problem we should have recognized and addressed by now.
In this version, Klaatu says as much. He's not there to fix humanity's problems, he's there as a final last minute assessment before they push the button and attempt to salvage the planet*.

*Salvage the planet in a highly retarded fashion, of course.
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Re: Shocking News: Keanu Reeves Stars in Mediocre Sci-Fi Film

Post by Manus Celer Dei »

No-ones answered the biggest question I had about the remake yet:

Do those three very special words have any role?
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Re: Shocking News: Keanu Reeves Stars in Mediocre Sci-Fi Film

Post by Darth Ruinus »

^ Adding to that, is his alias still the same as in the original? Are the names still the same?
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Re: Shocking News: Keanu Reeves Stars in Mediocre Sci-Fi Film

Post by Losonti Tokash »

No, they aren't. And his name is just Klaatu, he never gets an alias.
Spoiler
dissolving the planet's biosphere with Nanite Swarms is DEFINITELY going to make the world uninhabitable.
Except that this clearly is not what happens. It destroys humans and things made by humans. Trees and such were fine. I think that the main reason they took animals onto the spheres was just as a backup, in case the nanites went nuts and killed absolutely everything.
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Re: Shocking News: Keanu Reeves Stars in Mediocre Sci-Fi Film

Post by Zor »

There was something damn cheap and uninspired about the designs of the alien stuff. The Spheres with glowing mist in them, the metallic bugs and (admittedly to a lesser degree) Gort, which while faithful (in non nanoswarm form of course) seemed to be a cop out in design and animation as just an ultra-clean silver Humaniod figure with a red visor. It all seemed uninspired and generic, like some one shot ultra powerful alien of the Week in TNG. What would have been better if you wanted that sort of feel is they went with something closer to the Ship of Flight of the Navigator or EVE from WALL-E (minus her Gun). Something that looks extremely slick and advanced and you don't really know how it works, but with a sort of logic to it and the way it was designed and in some way looks. To compare it with another better film (Speilberg's War of the Worlds), the Fighting Machines were quite visually interesting pieces of hardware, mechanical and alien. The Organic Technology Stuff also irked me.

And i second the whole heartedly the statement of "what the hell was the military doing when it fired at Gort", It being clear that it only did what it did when Klaatu was shot in defense of their ambassidor to mankind to what it saw as an established threat.. As well as the fact that the kid was being a macho headed dick. It is not the worst film made, but frankly this is going to be a movie remembered as being flat out bad.

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Re: Shocking News: Keanu Reeves Stars in Mediocre Sci-Fi Film

Post by Shroom Man 777 »

Keannu Reeves should've just remade Johnny Mnemonic. :lol:

I'll try to get this movie on el-cheapo DVD though, to see if it has cool explosions.
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Re: Shocking News: Keanu Reeves Stars in Mediocre Sci-Fi Film

Post by NomAnor15 »

Venator wrote:Alternate thread title:

Shocking News: Modern remake butchers sci-fi classic.
Thank Jeebus somebody noticed. I refuse to see this movie on principle for exactly this reason.
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Re: Shocking News: Keanu Reeves Stars in Mediocre Sci-Fi Film

Post by Darth Ruinus »

Zor wrote: The Organic Technology Stuff also irked me.
Organic technology? I haven't seen the movie, but where was this implemented? Did he have some in his body, or was it like, "mass out of nowhere" stuff?
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Re: Shocking News: Keanu Reeves Stars in Mediocre Sci-Fi Film

Post by Gil Hamilton »

Losonti Tokash wrote:Spoiler
dissolving the planet's biosphere with Nanite Swarms is DEFINITELY going to make the world uninhabitable.
Except that this clearly is not what happens. It destroys humans and things made by humans. Trees and such were fine. I think that the main reason they took animals onto the spheres was just as a backup, in case the nanites went nuts and killed absolutely everything.
Spoiler
Did you see Central Park? It was swept clean.
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Re: Shocking News: Keanu Reeves Stars in Mediocre Sci-Fi Film

Post by Zor »

Darth Ruinus wrote:
Zor wrote: The Organic Technology Stuff also irked me.
Organic technology?
There was Klaatu's Placenta Spacesuit thing and "Gort" was in the film Acronym for Genetically Organized Robotic Technology and discribed as an Machine/organic hybrid of some sort.

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Re: Shocking News: Keanu Reeves Stars in Mediocre Sci-Fi Film

Post by Oskuro »

Manus Celer Dei wrote:No-ones answered the biggest question I had about the remake yet:

Do those three very special words have any role?
Spoiler
Actually, yes they do, at the insitence of Keanu Reeves himself. Upon Gort's first appearance, Klaatu utters them to stop him, but they are barely audible.
I personally found the movie to be ok. A bit on the bland side, and really lacking a more intense climax. It had potential in many areas, but alas, wasn't used properly. Oh, and...
Spoiler
Fuck them for turning Gort into a nano-cloud! I loved the robot! It was retro but menacing and imposing, the thing should have made its way out of the base on foot, and only turn into the cloud upon reaching the sphere (or something). I really liked the scene where Gort's eye keeps locked into the military scientist.
Also, there's quite some blatant product placement in the film, including Windows Vista, and World of Warcraft (of all things!). :wtf:
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Re: Shocking News: Keanu Reeves Stars in Mediocre Sci-Fi Film

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I honestly don't understand why, during the last WGA strike, Hollywood didn't just throw all the writers away and hire the internet to do its screenplays and scripts.
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Re: Shocking News: Keanu Reeves Stars in Mediocre Sci-Fi Film

Post by Gil Hamilton »

tim31 wrote:I honestly don't understand why, during the last WGA strike, Hollywood didn't just throw all the writers away and hire the internet to do its screenplays and scripts.
I'm guessing because most writers who work on the internet are pretty damn shitty. Alot of good things float about the Tubes, but good writing isn't one of them.
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Re: Shocking News: Keanu Reeves Stars in Mediocre Sci-Fi Film

Post by General Zod »

Gil Hamilton wrote:
tim31 wrote:I honestly don't understand why, during the last WGA strike, Hollywood didn't just throw all the writers away and hire the internet to do its screenplays and scripts.
I'm guessing because most writers who work on the internet are pretty damn shitty. Alot of good things float about the Tubes, but good writing isn't one of them.
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Re: Shocking News: Keanu Reeves Stars in Mediocre Sci-Fi Film

Post by Admiral Valdemar »

Fanfiction, yes. Original fiction, not so much. When you're simply producing an homage to characters someone else created in scenes you wish you had experienced, then you're less likely to produce stuff that isn't seen as fanwank or Mary Sue fodder.

The premise to TDTEST as in the remake is sound. The execution was lacking. It was random people you cared little for, going from one scene to another until the end of act three, when the credits then rolled. If the Neutral people of Futurama made a movie, this would be it. I can't hate or love it, because it just... is.

Oh, and:
Spoiler
Gort's appearance was good, I don't mind the change to texture or his size. However, the swarm he produced as a WMD can't really be called a nanotech one (please, please don't say nanites) since the "locusts" were microscale or bigger, else they'd not have gotten a lot done or been able to fly en masse. What annoyed me more from a technical standpoint was the bland ships. I want saucers if we can't come up with something similarly alien, yet original and beyond our comprehension. Not disco lit snowglobes.
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Re: Shocking News: Keanu Reeves Stars in Mediocre Sci-Fi Film

Post by Gil Hamilton »

I think something that gets me about the movie (and I believe the original) is that there are ALOT of aliens or magical people that magically stop electrical technology. I always love when that happens, cause it means that somehow they managed to shut down the redox reactions that drives a galvanic battery, but left alone the redox reactions that drives much of metabolism in just about all life.
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Re: Shocking News: Keanu Reeves Stars in Mediocre Sci-Fi Film

Post by Admiral Valdemar »

Why must it affect the battery? It could be affecting the electrical circuit itself. It would make more sense, since I don't recall many buildings running off battery power, or military hardware like that seen in Central Park. Whatever they are able to do, their technology resembles an effector of sorts.
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Re: Shocking News: Keanu Reeves Stars in Mediocre Sci-Fi Film

Post by Gil Hamilton »

Admiral Valdemar wrote:Why must it affect the battery? It could be affecting the electrical circuit itself. It would make more sense, since I don't recall many buildings running off battery power, or military hardware like that seen in Central Park. Whatever they are able to do, their technology resembles an effector of sorts.
How could it effect the circuit? Make metal suddenly not have a conduction band? Besides, how could they do that without being instantly lethal to human beings that rely on our own electrical circuitry?

Besides, "effector" is just Iain Bank's code for "magic".
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Re: Shocking News: Keanu Reeves Stars in Mediocre Sci-Fi Film

Post by Losonti Tokash »

Gil Hamilton wrote:Spoiler
Did you see Central Park? It was swept clean.
Spoiler
I only looked at the surroundings after it had been hit by artillery, so I just discounted that. I distinctly remember instances of plant life being spared while everything man-made was eaten though.
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